The little accident
Hotch x reader
Summery(barely) - After a minor car accident there maybe some lingering problems that scare the shit out of aaron.
This is a one shot unless some mfs ask for more lol.
WC- 4276
——————————
You knew there wasn’t much time till Aaron picked you up but your already strong procrastination skills paired with the sick lethargic feeling you had made it all the much harder to get out of your cozy nest. 615- it was nice to be able to have breakfast with Aaron but to do so you had to wake up at the crack of dawn. You wrestle yourself out of bed and throw on the clothes you layed out last night. Mornings had never been your strong suit so to make them more doable you took some measures. Always set out your clothes, towel if you were going to shower, and set the coffee maker to have a fresh pot when you walked down stairs.
You were definitely getting sick, the slightly dizzy and sore feeling indicated that. But it wasn’t bad enough to not go into work so you thought you should just tough it out.
Earlier that same week you had been in sunny California on a case. One of the best perks of working for the BAU was the travel. For some agents that was the worst but you didn’t have any real responsibilities in dc that would hold you back. There was max, your massive Akita but you had a fantastic dog sitter. Other than that you could pack up and go at almost any time. On this particular case after a long and tiring investigation, hunt and chase of a particularly violent bank robber you and hotch had gotten into a mild car accident.
————————
“HOTCH”
You yelp
You turn to look too see headlights pouring in through the passengers side window.
Not even 20 seconds had passed since you plowed into the back corner of car you had been chasing. The driver had attempted to pull a u turn in front of you but your vehicles were already too close for Hotch to stop the car fully before clipping the unsubs left fender. With the speed you were going it ended up spinning the car about twice till it was on the edge of the road.
“Are you ok!?”
Your lungs hurt from the sudden pressure of you seatbelt but other than that you were fine.
“Yeah, are you?”
“Ye-“
“HOTCH!”
And that was when another medium sized Sudan plowed into your side of the car, sending your cruiser tumbling down the hill to your left.
For a moment everything went black as your head bashed against the window. Then you were in it, the car came to a stop in a somewhat akward position. Tilted on it side so that you were looking up at Hotch.
As soon as you regained some sort of grip you reach over swiftly to place your two fingers on his neck. He was unconscious but alive and breathing.
“A - Aaron” you don’t mean it to come out as pained as it did.
“mhhh” a small exhale and then a deep groan and Hotch was back.
After further assessment you were genuinely surprised they you both were ok. A tree had come through the window and pinned your waist and right arm. Your ribs hurt wheres the tree had made contact, probably broken. Hotch was cut up but basically fine and so were you.
“Can you move?”
His tone if hushed and concerned so you try to give comfort with your response.
“I just have to move the seat, can you hold this up and I’ll slip out”
Hotch held the tree branches as you clicked your seat back and slipped into the back seat.
You both climbed out of the wreck and turned to get a good look at eachother.
He swiftly steps forward and cocoons you in his arms, you didn’t have enough time to hug back so you settled with your hands tucked onto his chest.
He was leaning into your shoulder and holding you so tightly.
“Thank god your ok”
He whispers.
——————
Both of you were fine, checked out for injuries but emts and sent home. On the plane back Hotch sat with one arm around you for almost the entire flight. He was normally anti-PDA but you could tell how anxious the whole ordeal made him.
Now you were ready and waiting for hotch to show. You decided to meet him at the curb so you walk down. The sun seems a little bright for 630 but the days we’re getting longer.
He pulled in-front of you about 30 second after you walk down your steps.
You hop in, immediately he kisses you on the side of the mouth and the cheak.
“Good morning to you to” you laugh.
“I wouldn’t do that again, think I’m coming down with somthin”
“Hmm too bad I really wanted to do it again.”
Hotch shot you a devilish grin.
“So where do you have in mind this fine morning?”
You knew, whenever he got to chose the breakfast place he picked the same one
“I was just thinking the coffee place”
Moon rise coffee.
Exactly your guess.
He would get 3 eggs with whole wheat toast, bacon and a cup of black coffee.
You already knew that.
The BAU was slow today, which infact was coming to an end. Good thing too beck you were definitely ill. There was a high possibility you had a fever and you felt like you had been punched repeatedly in the chest. There was nothing you could do except hope to sleep it off so you watched the clock and the minute hand crawled by.
457-458–459— and there you go. You leave all your things at our desk only grabbing a small file.
The stairs up to hotches office literally took the life out of you. By the time you were at the top you were panting and sweating.
You finally made it and as you walked in Hotches gaze shot up. It started as happily supprised but quickly turned into a concerning tone.
He got up quickly meeting you in front of his desk where you had already sunk into a chair and were holding out the file limply.
“How are you feeling? I know you said you were getting sick but you look like your in pain.”
You were, your chest ached, head was pounding, it was the worst you’ve felt in a long time.
“Ehh I’ve been better” you say sheepishly
“I’ll be fine after a good sleep, which is why I came to say farewell.” You smile and begin you begin to get out of the chair you had melted into. Hotch quickly reached around his desk to get his bag and then the coat off his chair.
“I’ll come with you” he said as he slipped on one sleeve.
“Really, your going home at a reasonable time?” It was not somthing that happened regularly, he was normally there for about 2 hr after you.
“I thought I should take you home, you really don’t seem ok.”
He seemed genuine in his concern and you know how things this like this really fuck with his ability to be in control so you try not to seem too offended by his insinuation you could not make it home.
“Alright Hotchner, I’ll let you take me home but I don’t think you’ll be safe from the rest of the children out there.” You notion to the rest of the team now gathering in the bullpen before they all leave for the night.
It was harder than it should have been to go from sitting to standing, for about 10 seconds you were so dizzy you couldn’t see but as it passes you started to leave.
Grabbing your things you give a quick nod to the rest of the team and turn to leave.
“Wait your leaving too?” Morgan Looks at hotch and with a giddy tone spits out
“I see your girls got you on normal time now!” The team laughs as hotch shakes his head. He wants to retort but you are already so far ahead he chooses to follow.
Yet in passing his throws in “have a good night guys”
You had done so well up to this point, the bullpen, the elevator, the halls, the car garage but now as soon as you were reaching the car you weren’t doing well at all. There was a tightening in your chest and it was getting hard to breath. Hotch had already slipped into the drivers seat but as you went for the handle you collapsed.
You could not see or hear or move. It was all loud and bright. You thought you heard you name being yelled but at this point you couldn’t respond.
“Y/N!”
Hotch jumped out of the car, bolting to your side as he trys to get any response at all.
“Hey! Hey!” He softly shakes you but to no success.
From what he could see you were shaking, breathing heavy and ragged, and you were burning up.
You can see the panic in his eyes, the pain even though you were barely conscious. He was shaking as his hands slip under your head and knees as he slips you into the passengers seat.
Hotch knew he could get you to a hospital faster than an ambulance could get there. It was only 3 blocks away but it felt like miles. For you and him.
“We’re almost there… just hold on… please.” He was pleading as he reached over to your face. His hands were unnaturally cold because of your fever but his touch helped you feel safe.
At the hospital he grasp onto your hand for as long as they would let him before you were wheeled into the emergency room.
Upon your arival they had asked him so many questions. It was all a blur. Your name, blood type, all about the car accident and even if you were pregnant. He answered the best he could but his mind was going a million miles an hour. He was sweating and shaking and as the doors slammed behind your gurney a wave of nausea slammed into him.
Hotch turned to the waist basket at the side of the check in desk and proceeded to vommit.
A stranger waiting in the lobby came to his side.
“Hey are you alright?”
At this point he was dry heaving and could feel tears boiling up in the back of his eyes.
After a moment he seems to gain back control of his body and try’s to stand
“How about we get you to a seat”
Said the stranger
“Thank you.” Hotch grumbles
——————-
Waiting was the hardest.
At this point the team had come in, they didn’t get the call untill well after they had become heavily intoxicated at their normal bar. When they all did come in hotch didn’t even notice. His head was in his hands, elbows resting on restless legs.
“Hotch!”
“Is she ok?!”
“What happened!?”
He was unresponsive, tied up in his head.
Rossi promptly took the seat next to him and placed a hand on Aaron’s back.
He flinched and looked up swiftly. Rossi could see the redness in his eyes paired with confusion and pain.
Rossi quieted the questions with a
“Give him some room and go ask her” he was pointing to the desk attendant.
The team did as they were told leaving aaron and Rossi alone for a moment.
“Are you ok?” A question no one had asked hotch yet. After a long moment and stiff inhale he responded in a hushed sigh
“I can’t even think Dave…. She was fine, sick but fine and then she was on the ground. They said they couldn’t find a… a heart beat …..”
he paused for a moment taking in a shaky breath. “ I can’t do this again.. I can’t..” he stops as he try’s to gain some composure before he starts crying.
Rossi can see that he is badly holding it together and places his hand on Aaron’s shoulder in a comforting way.
Morgan walked over to where Rossi and hotch were cornered in the waiting room.
“She doesn’t know anything” he scoffs
————
It’s been 2 hours since Aaron carried you into the ER and there was no update. At some point somone had called your brother, the only family you had, but he was over 6 hours away and wouldn’t be there till the next morning. The feeling that you would wake up alone kept Aaron locked into his chair. When he had delicately placed you on the stretcher his hands lingered under you. With Hailey he knew, immediately that it would be the last time he touched her. With you he didn’t know.
He tried to think back to when the last time he kissed you was. That morning. The last time he said he loved you? He couldn’t remember if he had said it after he left you last night. He couldn’t remember! He must have said it within the last couple of days but he couldn’t remember.
That’s what he thought about as he waited.
“Aaron, can I get you a coffee or anything?” Emily asks softly.
“Um sure, black” he was exhausted.
“You got it. Anyone else?”
Morgan and Reid volunteered to come with.
Emotionally the team was struggling. Emily was basically your best friend. You went out with the team almost every weekend as if spending all your time with them wasn’t enough. Morgan loved you like a sister. Reid looked up to you in a way that he didn’t with anyone else. You and Garcia we a little unit, always finishing each other deductions, mainly live had been saved based on your communal quick wit. Rossi was like a father to you even though you would never admit it to his face. JJ, even though you two didn’t always see eye to eye she loved you. They all did.
————
At the 3.5 hour mark a young looking nurse came out of the doors to the ER.
“Y/n L/n?”
As soon as he heard your name Hotch jumped up along with the rest of the team.
The nurse explained how you had suffered from internal bleeding along with a small tear and swelling in the tissue surrounding you heart and that they were still working on stoping the bleeding.
The car accident.
It made his stomach churn. He should have known, he was there. He saw you everyday since. There were small winces here and there like at his dinner table two nights before when you tryed to get out of your chair. He should have pushed you to go to the hospital. He should have.
———
6 hour mark came and went with no updates. Everyone but Hotch Rossi and Emily had gone home to rest. Deciding who would go was harder than it seemed. They all wanted to stay, but Rossi made the decision for them. It was for the best, someone had to go into work tomorrow.
———
11 hours in and the doctor finally came into the lobby.
Rossi and Emily had dozed off but Hotch was wide awake.
His arms were crossed and he was watching the ceiling, lost in thought.
He almost didn’t hear when your name was called. After a dazed second he jumped up again.
Emily woke up immediately but she had to slap Rossi’s stomach with the back of her hand to get his attention.
“It’s just too soon to know” it was a punch in the gut and Aaron could feel the air get sucked out of the room.
The exhausted looking physician explained slowly that you had coded 4 separate times once for 6 and a half minute which has caused your brain to receive very low amounts of oxygen.
They were able to stabilize you but until you woke up there was no way to know the damage done to your brain.
“When can I… when can I see her?”
“She is in the ICU so family can visit now, are you family?”
“YES” Emily chimed in.
Hotch turned to her and with a quick nod she continued.
“He’s her husband”
He wasn’t but with quick thinking on Emily’s part now Aaron could see you.
He was more thankful than Emily could ever know. As the doctor led him to your room he mouthed a ‘thank you’ over his shoulder.
He was almost running as he honed in on your room.
As he cleared the doorway he stoped.
Seeing you lying there with a tube coming out of your mouth, arms, stomach and wires crossed hectically over your chest he felt dizzy. He carefully picked up your hand as he knelt next to your bed.
It was cool and limp as he raised it to his face, kissing your palm as he did so.
“Oh… my love” he tenderly stroked your cheak as a tear fell down his.
——-
On the morning of the 4th day at around 5:14 am you woke up.
There was the sunrise coming up in the window but the light was faint. It was quiet except for the beeping of some machines. The birds are what you hear first though. Slight chirps pour in though an open window.
When you slept, you always left a window open. The only thing that would stop you is below zero temps. Yes, you had only been dating for a month but Aaron had a lot of time to study you before his skills were tested. He noticed your tendency to leave the car windows open and if any office you used on a case had one you would open it.
He opened your hospital room window on the first night.
You weren’t in the icu anymore which was a significant step. The fact that you had slept for 4days wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, the doctor explained. “She lost a lot of blood Mr.Hotchner, the trauma her body is dealing with right now maybe too much for her to handle awake and she just needs some time to heal.”
On the third day they took out the intubation but you still had a nasty drain coming out of your side.
It turns out it was very lucky that Aaron was there. The team made a schedule for him -and you- so that he could also go home to jack.
He was at the hospital from dawn to when he picked Jack up from school. And repeated for the first 3 days but on the 4th he planed to go into work. He wanted to see you one more time before he went back so he got there at around 445. The night staff let him in, federal badges do have a bit of power, and he sat quietly in the chair next to your bed. He was looking at case files that the team have had for 4 day already but he is just getting a chance to look it over.
By 513 he is done with the inicial interview folder and is trying to find the some paperwork he had to sign when he thought he saw something. It was still darkish outside but he swore he saw your hand move.
And then
He saw it again.
Your pale hand grasping for something.
He slid all of the paper off his lap and stood. He shifted over to the edge of your bed when you make a faint groan as he takes your hand, sandwiching it between his.
And your eyes open. Just slightly at first as you get used to the light. And then your staring into his.
He leans in swiftly making you recoil slightly. Trying to not move you as much as he can he only leans in to hug you so that you nesiled your head to his shoulder, you hand coming up to meet his back, just barely touching him. He pulled back after a few moments and kissed you. Your lips were chapped and you barely could muster the energy to kiss back. He sat for a while just kissing you , he pecks the side of your mouth as he pulls away.
“…what… what happened?” Your voice was horse from the intubation.
“You scared the shit out of me that’s what.” He chokes out. You grimace slightly as you start to assess the damage to your body. Everything hurt, your chest, your legs, veins, all of it.
Aaron explained what happened and you express the same confusion he did when he first found you keeled over.
“I was fine… how didn’t I know?” You almost whispered as a tear rain down the side of your exhausted face.
“They said the internal bleeding started very small and it was just eventually too much. They think it was from the car accident.” He paused as he just watched you. Just the fact you were animated in front of him put all his fear and panic on the back burner of his mind. He reached out and brushed your hair to one side of your face.
“… I was so sacred y/n. You died… four times…” his breath became ragged and he looked down at the hand he had of yours.
“I know” your tone is supposed to be comforting but as you breath in a little more deeply than before you shudder. Grasping his hand tighter, looking up at the ceiling as your mouth mimics a small yelp yet no sound emerged. It feels like your chest is on fire. Aaron looked up at your contorted face and quickly reached over to hit the nurses button.
“They should adjust your meds, your shouldn’t be in this much pain.”
The nurse came in and upon seeing you and Aaron a large smile crept across her face.
She had only seen Hotch as his completely heart broken and lost self as he watched you.
“Thank god!” She said in a volume neither of you had prepared for making you both turn to the door and jump back a bit.
She silently apologized for her loudness and began too look over all your readings and chart.
“Agent Hotchner would you mind moving to the chair” she motioned.
He slipped back but he moved the chair even closer to the bed so that they were almost over lapping.
The nurse proceeds to listen to your heart rate.
“She’s in pain, can you give her somthing?”
“Unfortunately we have given her almost all that we can,(she turns to you) your heart is damaged which mean we really can’t put much stress on it or we risk you having a heart attack on us.”
“Mhh” you grunt.
“So there’s nothing, nothing you can do”
You can hear him start to get pissed.
“Aaron it’s fine, I’m alright” you give him the best smile you can muster, which isn’t very convincing. “You don’t want me to have a heart attack after all this do ya.” You let out a short breathy laugh.
He only stairs at you as the nurse starts to leave.
“The doctor will be in at about 6 but from what I can see your doing well, is there anything i can do to make you more comfortable. Raising your head might release some of the pressure in your chest.”
You nod swiftly. that’s all you wanted.
She began to tilt the bed so you were slightly sitting. The release of pressure on your lungs and chest resulted in a small gasp for you as your breath deepened.
Even though your eyes were closed you could feel his focused on you. It only took one or two slightly pained breaths for your rhythm to become even. You did sound better than when you were horizontal.
The nurse left quicky afterwards, at this point it was 545, and hotch knew Rossi would be awake. There was no way he was going into work. Absolutely no chance he would leave you now that your finally awake and he could breathe again. He just needed some time to fully process that your alive and seemingly ok. He quickly shot Rossi a text “ she’s awake, I’m not coming in”
“So what have I missed?” you ask in a slightly raspy voice motioning to the mess of papers on the ground with a slight jesture from your Iv covered hand.
Aaron let’s out an emotionless laugh and looks at the floor for a quick second before joining your eyes.
“It hasn’t even been an hour and you already want to talk about work?”
“I will talk about anything Aaron,” you say defeated. You just wanted to hear his voice, hold his hand and… sleep. It seemed odd how tired you for how long you had just slept.
“, please just talk” you can feel your impulse to cry is peeking through. He can hear it in your voice.
He has been so worried about your physical condition he hasn’t even thought of the damage it had done to your mind. You were scared out of your mind and in pain.
He knew how to comfort you through words.
“Ok my love, ok.” He kissed your hand and began describing the case the files scattered on the floor held.
Everyonce in a while you would ask a question like “ what did the ME say?” Or “ do you beleive him?” Just like at the round table in the bau. Now you just had to close your eyes and imagine it.
There was a smile across hotches face, he explained more as he picked up and read the folders.
Eventually you fell asleep.