[vampyyrilady]

i had a dream that the mcelroys released a new poster and it was so funny i woke up laughing.

anyway here is what it looked like

@mcelroyfamilystaff can we pls make this a reality?

[wolveswolves]

This wolf in British Columbia took a break from eating herring roe to investigate a half-submerged object: the photographer’s camera

Photograph by Ian McAllister

[mr-deep-downer]

[doumeki]

[tvguts]

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

[comfortyart]

“Indolence breeds madness”

[spiribia]

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

[noivern]

can you even imagine how the conversation went between this company and the graphic designer? “i want it to have worms, but the worms have to be Sexy Lady Worms, and they need to be wearing Sexy Worm Dresses and having drinks to show how sexy and sophisticated the process of decomposition is”

[kennyomegamilk]

@lesserknownwaifus

[randomencounters]

Encounter: sexy sophisticated WormFolk having an elegant cocktail party in a compost heap

[infectiouspiss]

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

[infectiouspiss]

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

[infectiouspiss]

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

[pixelatedfrog-deactivated202009]

how long have I been out

[jururenu]

Frodo

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[ladyshinga]

OceanGate tried to scrub the internet clean of traces that it ever existed, taking down its Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn pages

OceanGate, the deep-sea exploration company that created the Titan submersible, has removed its Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn a

poor things, well we should definitely make this easier on them by never repeatedly mentioning their name and deeds on the "reblog things forever" website

[technoturian]

[subwaybug]

❎ "my current mental state can cause me to be anxious, irrational, and overly reactive at times"

✅ "some sort of evil shadow self lurks within me that can only be defeated via battle of the mind combat"

[atanertheartist]

[fortzancudo]

i literally feel like im going to be sick trying not to laugh at this at my desk like i feel faint

[plumbo-gummite]

the smuckling smumbler

[girlvasectomy]