Vanari

I never pray to god anymore I'd rather no one heard me Redemption, I have waited for you to comе And drown all my sins - Lonely Way by Rival

[vanari]

Introduction

Since this is my (side) blog, I should properly introduce myself.

My name is Vanari, typically if you're trying to be respectful you can just call me Van (pronounced von), but I don't care either way.

My pronouns are He/It.

I am apart of an undiagnosed DID system, “The Shadowkeep Phantoms”. In which I am the primary gatekeeper.

The world I come from is a bit complicated, but my home country is called “Elysium”, it’s not entirely different from the one humans know based off of Greek Mythology, as it is a heaven of sorts. However, it’s not really the same either.

And of course, I am a Fallen Angel.

—

A fair warning, for those of you who have tread to this page, I will be posting a fair bit about "God", "Heaven", "Hell", (In a negative light) and my content can vary from dark rants/vents to a random Tuesday night thought. I will say this ONCE that I have nothing against Christians or those who follow the word of Christ, but I don't think this is the place for you. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if you do stay, but I can't imagine that my words wouldn't bring offense to you.

Nothing I say should be taken to heart; it is merely my own personal opinion.

— Continuing content-wise, I’m aware that fallenkin, out of all under the term ‘divinekin,” is one of the least spoken about (at least on this space). So I’m trying to offer as much help and support for as many newer members of the community as I can. As such, everything I post is intended to help others, even if it’s only small.

Stances

I am endo-neutral, and I will not change on that. I am here to help people, not bring more hate into this world. This being said, I want absolutely NO syscourse on here, and anyone bringing it will be blocked.

I’m fairly neutral on everything, really. So long as it isn’t “problematic”.

DNI

Syscourse, racists, homophobes, transphobes, ableists, pedos, zoos, antifurry, antitherian, etc.

And, this is where I will conclude my introduction.

[vanari]

Stereotypes are nonsense.

You can still be an angel even if you’re selfish, rude, or disrespectful.

And you can still be a demon even if you’re selfless, compassionate, or respectful.

What you are doesn’t dictate how you have to act, and how you act doesn’t dictate what you are. So don’t use it as an excuse for your behavior, or for why you treat anyone or anything the way you do. Someone’s not an asshole because they’re a demon, they’re an asshole because of how they were brought up, because of their values, because that’s what’s normal.

In the same sense, someone isn’t considerate because they’re an angel, they’re considerate because that’s how they were brought up, because of the people around them, etc.

Don’t assume that all angels are benevolent or that all demons are impudent. Don’t demonize demons or idolize angels, and if you follow one or the other believing wholly that they could not go against their nature, then you my dear, are a fool.

And this isn’t just about demons and angels.

ᴀɴɢᴇʟɪᴄ ɴᴜᴍʙᴇʀ: 𝟨𝟨𝟨

[vanari]

They say that history repeats itself.

One day, an angel rose up against his god and one third of Heaven followed. Then for their treason, they were cast out to endure an eternal flame.

Much like him, I turned against my god. The only difference is, I was burnt by that flame long before I defected from my nation; and I was not so lucky as to have that many followers.

I don't regret doing it. The only thing I regret, was that like him, I failed.

[confessions-of-the-divine]

Hiya, idk if itd be possible to get a response to this, from you or anyone else but, this is a question to the angels and fallen angels, how old are you guys? and like- would you be classed as young or old? i also wanted to ask for advice with phantom wings bcs i have them almost constantly and sometimes it feels super uncomfortable, and idk what to do abt that nd stuff

Hello friend. While I am not an angel or fallen angel myself, since you did ask for any response to your first question, I thought it might be useful for me to share my age anyway. I have existed for almost as long as the universe itself. I say almost, only because I was created a fraction of a moment after the universe itself was, thus I feel it improper to say I am as old as the universe.

As for your wings, my friend, I may not feel mine that often anymore, but something that helped me was standing in an area wide enough for me to fully stretch them out in. They might not be there physically, but feeling them stretch in the non-physical realm helped alleviate some of the pressure that would build up for me throughout the day. While I can not offer much more help, as always, this post will be open to anyone else's comments and advice.

I hope your queries are able to be satisfied soon, my friend, and that you are able to find some peace with your phantom wings.

[vanari]

I am somewhere between 500-700 years old, which, where I’m from, is a sort of median age. In the grand scheme of things it is quite young, yeah, since we don’t physically age after a few decades of “being born.” But, my kind doesn’t tend to live to their potential due to environmental factors. So to them I would be in around my 30s, from the perspective of a human teen (and I mean that as they would consider that to be pretty old although it isn’t really. As contrarily, an elder would view that as young, you get it?)

Regarding your phantom wings, I’d add that sitting in an open-backed chair, or putting a weighted blanket over your back may help. But most importantly, try avoiding cramped areas. At the very least, I find that makes the feeling all the more uncomfortable for me. I’m not sure of much else though, I believe the OP did sum things up quite nicely.

[vanari]

I’ve finally been summoned out to front. Unfortunately though, I’m now Frontstuck.

Anyways, in my time being in front I was worried that what (minimal) content I post here may not really be all that helpful to other fallen angels.

So now I’m asking everyone what kind of posts you would like to see.

What would be the most beneficial to you all if I posted it?

My own experiences regarding being a fallen Angel

Validation posts + tips for connecting with your/a (fallen) kintype

Moodboards / pictures related to fallen angels

Other (Specify in comments)

Voting ended onDec 16, 2025

[vanari]

Hiraeth.

The Welsh word meaning to long for a home you either cannot return to; or that may have never existed at all.

I too feel this longing.

[vanari]

CW: small rant/vent about Heaven

Heaven says.

Heaven says.

Just an audio we happened to stumble upon; yet these words continue to echo in my head like some sort of divine virtue you've sworn to abide by.

Heaven says.

"Heaven" isn't as kind as you think.