But It’s Alright

Jude | 22 | she/her

[389]

sorry for being intense about everything, it’ll happen again

[moon111111]

[fwizard]

I’m getting threatening scam emails from author john green

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[dracoj]

what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this causes ur brain to try to kill you with knives and hammers.

[jarring]

[scoes]

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

[scoes]

That and the monkey barrrsssss

[dragon-in-a-fez]

idk if I've told this story on here before but one time I was sitting at my desk at work and a random dog I'd never seen before strolled into my office and curled up at my feet. and I was like oh you are adorable but what the fuck?

then a woman knocked on the door and said "oh I'm so sorry he's a therapy dog he's trained to seek out people in severe distress"

and I was like right okay, just getting my whole life drive-by roasted by a dog then

[coast-modern]

isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

the new viral trend is swimming in the river with an abdominal wound! take an #AbdominalWoundRiverSwim and post your results

[wearegoingfuckinganywhereman]

[menloathe]

when the song tackles you to the ground and starts beating the ever loving shit out of you

[winelipred-deactivated20260430]

seeing a notification from a mutual is just like hi I love you btw

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[mothecho]

They should invent a way to sit hunched over doing crafts that is Good for your body

[cuppydogshane]

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

[treasuredplanet]

in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives