Vash's Metal Boob

I have built my house out of donuts and you cannot stop me I'm not RPing as Vash I just think he's cool

[vashsmetalboob]

Guess I should do an intro post

I'm Vash's Metal Boob, this is a side blog for Trigun stuff I like so my followers on my main account aren't spammed with Trigun stuff

I use any pronouns but She/They, some fun ones to try include It/It's and Star/Stars

I'm happy with Masculine and Neutral forms of address, and feminine ones as jokes

I will tag nsfw posts as not osha compliant and suggestive posts as suggestive

My Trigun AU tag is #Knives and Tesla Merger

[wiidoodles]

If requests are open would you do Vash hugging baby tomas? 0: feel free to ignore if not your cup of tea

That is ABSOLUTELY my cup of tea

[ruporas]

KEEP ON RUNNING 💥💥💥 (id in alt)

[vashsmetalboob]

Everyone in Trigun should be more brown tbh

They live in a desert, and have for 150 years. Bare minimum these pale people should have a stronger tan or sunburns

[lost-technology]

I am mainly of Nordic ancestry and therefore pale-skin at base. I was born in Arizona and lived much of my life there. Every summer, I got leather-tan. At some point, it isn't even a "tan" so much as it is an evolutionary adaptation in visible-time. Annoys me more in Stampede / Stargaze than in other media. Maximum is black and white, of course, and original Trigun anime had a lot of too-pale people, but then had a lot of people who were within reason.

[vashsmetalboob]

Everyone in Trigun should be more brown tbh

They live in a desert, and have for 150 years. Bare minimum these pale people should have a stronger tan or sunburns

[tlirsgender]

We need more women characters who are Male Protagonists. You know. Slightly haggard. She's splashing cold water on her face and gripping the edge of the sink staring in the mirror for a minute. She's coping badly with her deadwife

[tlirsgender]

Ok listen I get that people tagging posts with men is a rule of physics on this hellsite but it's kind of bizarre how badly some of you have failed the assignment on this one. A generic male protagonist archetype who is a man is nothing. That's just the normal cliche I'm talking about subverting. What?

[tlirsgender]

Like if you are For Serious headcanoning your blorbo as a trans woman I am kissing you on the head. But I KNOW most of you are not doing that. Come on. For one dollar name a fictional woman. No being a loser does not make him a woman try again

[bait-shop]

[kaz-doodles]

ww wearing vash's glasses in badlands rumble messed me UP what the FUCK ‼️ (+ a closeup w his eyes visible)

[vashsmetalboob]

Babies first War Crime!♥️

[slavhew]

... probably !

[icedlemoms]

[dj-of-the-coven]

trigun 1998 episode simulator

[3 minutes of guitar solo]

Vash the Stampede: hi my name is Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love. all I really want to do is have a sandwich and a morning coffee without getting chased by bandits

some bandit: (gunshot) absolutely not. square up faggot

Vash: rats.

[gunfight]

Vash the Stampede: my name is Vash the stampede. I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Love.could I please have a sandwich

Meryl from the Bernardelli Insurace Society: how long are you going to sit on your ass doing nothing but playing games with children and doing chores for the elderly and disabled and looking after lonely youths and cooking dinner for the homeless

Vash: I've been here for like 2 days

Milly Thompson: Hi Vash!

Vash: Hi Milly

[exit left pursued by bounty hunters]

Vash the Stampede: (panting, entering a bar) my name is Vash the stampede.... I am a hunter of Peace chasing the elusive mayfly of Good L*rd what is going on in here

Hostage: mphdsfhapff!!!! mffmpphhf!!!!

Villain of the week: well if it isn't the elusive Vash the Stampede! you see it all started when I was 4 days old and you kicked me like a football and then exploded my parents to death with a laser canon and killed every puppy in a ten ile (translator's note: this is the No Man's Land equivalent of the American Mile) radius

Vash: I don't remember doing that but well I suppose you can shoot me if it'll make you feel better

Side character of the week: Are you insane? Just shoot him instead???

Vash: but my mom told me not to be mean to people

Villain of the week: (still going) And as I am now 47 years old I have finally decided to get my revenge. Say your prayers, Vash the Pisshead

[Wall explodes and reveals a motorcycle with a sexy priest on it]

[sfx: guitar with a hint of electric distortion]

Vash: is that..... Wolfwood?

Meryl who was in the background this whole time: the priest?

Nicholas Dickolas Wolfwood: (brings his fingers up to a pair of luscious lips to grab the cigarette from right between them, taking one more slow inhale before crushing the cherry red underneath his heel)(sensually cocks one of his 8 guns) Are you just gonna let this guy talk down to you like that needle noggin?

Vash: I g-

[guitar riff bumper]

[guitar riff bumper]

Vash: -uess not, since you're here to help now... (slow, warm smile) Wolfwood

Nicholas D. ranged Wolfwood: Vash

Milly who was also in the background this whole time: Hi mr priest man! isn't this lovely, I haven't seen you since the last time you spoke with mr Vash yesterday evening when you were helping him buckle all those silly belts on his pants after he had lost them somehow

Vash: On a cactus

Milly: On a cactus! Oh it must've hurt so terribly; how fortunate that Mr Priest man was there to help you

Wolfwood: Hi Milly

[gunfight]

Villain of the week: ohhhhh curses!!! CURSES!!!! I have spent my whole existence getting ready to fight Vash the Stampede but he's just too good at swallowing all my bullets!!!!!!

Vash the Stampede: my tragic dead mother would be sad if I didn't swallow everyone's bullets so I've trained diligently every morning at digesting gunpowder without dying immediately

Wolfwood: [internally: I can't believe it. All this time I've spent walking the path of darkness, reaching to a pure light that I could never grasp, and yet here is a man who's dedicated his life and his body to the pursuit of Peace. I wish he were a woman so I could fuck him romantic style. I've got a whole plan for it and everything. Whiskey, sunset, a bed with no sand in it, 6 hours. This would be fully and completely possible if only he were a woman. Unfortunately he's not, but I can still think about the what-ifs. platonically of course. Maybe if he got some good dick he'd stop being so annoying. And maybe he'd stop making me rethink my morals. I wonder if the seven drunken handies meant anything to him. Platonically]

Wolfwood: Well anyway it looks like my job is done here

Vash: (teary) Will I see you again?

Wolfwood: I don't know. And besides, whenever I look at you, I'm reminded of everything I hate about myself. You know, it hurts.

[exit Nicholas D. Wolfwood pursued by repressed homosexual desires and immense catholic guilt]

Vash the Stanned Peat: (looking out the window like a widow whose husband was killed in action) Nicholas... D... Wolfwood.......

Meryl who was in the background that entire time, yes, the whole time: shut the fuck up already

Vash: when will it be my turn Meryl. When

[roll credits]

[endless-blue-summers]

Commissioned from @carterrdraws ❤️

[renardsruses]

Oh Wolfwood

[xxeekzleyxx]

kwk but what if they were girls

[vashsmetalboob]

Casually writing about Tesla doing an cannibalism at 3am

[vashsmetalboob]

Wolfwood is by no means short, but in my heart he's a little shorter than Milly and both of them are a few inches shorter than Vash. Vash is just not human and a bit taller than humans because of it

Meryl meanwhile is short and cannot trust the others to put things where she can reach them