the bullshit continuum

22, any pronouns will do, slavic/jewish, from past USSR territory. personal blog for personal stuff.

[vector-field-outpost]

im deleting my old tumblr account and moving over here. so thats why im following a lot of people with an empty blog

im not a bot i swear

[vector-space-outpost]

the story goes thus: I created an internet nickname for myself, concise and distinctive, intending to use it for all my social media accounts and wherever else I wanted an account name easy to identify with me. I thought I wouldn't need to divide my fandom creator self and my main social media self, I thought I would either use irl name on everything job-related or I'd work as an artist and my fandom stuff wouldn't interfere with that.

Then I became a teacher.

That was not the plan, but my job is pretty much okay with nicknames (when you have to interact with parents in an official capacity, you have to go by irl name, but that's it), and I kinda used one of my socmed pages with the main internet nickname to interact with both colleagues and students, because at first I genuinely forgot that it had my internet nickname on it as well as the irl one (think Twitter URL versus name, but the socmed in question doesn't show URL by default), and then it was too late to turn back.

And I don't want the kids to be able to google my old fandom shit by my username.

And also I'm just not a creator anymore, and I don't want my art to be that easily accessible with my name attached to it, it's just not mine and I don't want it anymore.

So fanfiction accounts got renamed (I'd orphan all the stuff on ao3 but idk if mass orphaning is possible and also I want to be able to add author's notes, just in case), and art accounts got either privated or deleted, and that's what happened with the old tumblr account, because the main blog there was originally intended as my art blog and I just didn't want to have anything in common with it any more. (Also, tumblr wouldn't let me change my username for some reason.)

I'd just make a new tumblr and start from scratch, but I didn't want to lose this sideblog, so here I am.

(Also, just so you know, @vector-field-outpost is what this blog was originally supposed to be named, the "space" is due to a mistranslation. So now I'm gonna interact from that one and post on here, I think that's fitting.)

[prokopetz]

Tumblr: Only neurotypical people do X. Neurodivergent people never do X. It's literally never necessary to do X, and if you do, you are by definition acting out of malice.

Neurodivergent person whose neurodivergence primarily expresses itself as X:

[prokopetz]

Example –

Person A: Why don't people just tell you when they want you to do something?

Person B: Well, very direct requests are likely to be misinterpreted as orders, and it's often not appropriate to give a person orders, so couching the request in indirect language avoids that possibility.

Person A: Why would anyone interpret a request as an order? Only neurotypical people do that. That's crazy. Neurotypical people are crazy.

Every single autistic person who needs the phrasing of requests to thread the needle like Luke Skywalker blowing up the fucking Death Star because if it's too indirect they'll take it as an observational statement, but if it's too direct their brain immediately goes into "fuck you, don't order me around" mode and refuses to do anything at all:

[prokopetz]

Example 2 –

Person A: Why do people who don't like you pretend to be cool with you, then make up excuses not to hang out with you?

Person B: Well, people often experience being told they're not liked or not welcome as a form of harm, and react to "defend" themselves from that harm, so a person might make excuses either because they want to avoid hurting you, or because they want to avoid a confrontation.

Person A: Why would anyone be hurt by being told to go away? Only neurotypical people do that. That's crazy. Neurotypical people are crazy.

Every single person whose ADHD is comorbid with rejection-sensitive dysphoria:

[prokopetz]

I'm not sure what's more predictable – the people seeing this post and coming to me like "okay, but I'm the exception, my communication style really IS objectively correct and everybody else is either crazy or evil", or the people who are clearly going up the thread to reblog a version without the RSD example.

[raimi]

if i can add on as a person with psychosis, the "neurotypical people are crazy" sentiment is also ableist in and of itself, because it's once again equating psychosis with incomprehensibility and contributing to our dehumanization. but hey, sane people love to toss the "crazy" label at anything they don't understand so they don't have to acknowledge that everyone has a reason for their behavior.

(which, fun fact, includes "crazy people.")

[liberalsarecool]

The Russification of the Republican Party is complete.

[vector-space-outpost]

Russia doesn't deport criminals though, we have our own torture prisons here

[robin-teddybear]

it's kinda comforting to me when my friends are a little annoying or longwinded or abrasive or tired and inarticulate, or they don't do the exact politest thing in every interaction, and stuff, because I know I'm sometimes annoying, or take up a more than my share of conversational space, or forget to ask them questions, etc etc, and... like, I'm always working to be nice to my friends and to get better and better at friend-ing, but it just makes me feel more human about it :}

anyway I love you friends plz know I'm not counting, in fact I feel great affection toward you even (especially) when conversations go less than Perfectly Ideal

[saulwexler]

I'm not proud to say it but this line from a 60 year old detective novel made me re-think some things about friendship

[gwaindrifter]

Spurred by a recent disagreement between my ex and I, I want ask;

What is the acceptable level of physical intimacy between platonic friends?

never touch/save room for Jesus

a firm handshake/hand holding

hugging

cuddling

kissing on head, hand, shoulder, ect

kiss on the lips

platonic sex/sexual acts

other

Voting ended onFeb 8, 2024

If "other" explain in the tags, or clarify if something seemingly higher on the list is acceptable but something lower isn't.

I'm actually really curious about this because I'm wondering if my view on this is skewed for various reasons.

[will80sbyers]

Shelter on Amazon prime has well written characters and an interesting story. There's a black latino guy that is THE main character, a black girl as a protagonist, a lesbian girl as a protagonist, a lovely dorky but genius guy that you are going to love a lot... there are lots of wlws involved, there is a non binary black character that's important to the plot, A LOT of plot twists, it deals with really heavy topics like abuse on children but it's also funny at times so it's not all heavy and the kids are written like actual real people and not just gen Z caricatures... beautiful relationships between the characters, beautiful scenes of platonic friendship and mutual support, lots of action and drama but in a good way, there are queer relationships actually happening on screen that are the main focus!! It has literally everything you could ever want and it's actually pretty damn good!!! GO WATCH IT NOW PLEASE 🥺

[one-time-i-dreamt]

It's such a good show!!! Definitley bingeable.

[maxfact]

What’s it about?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

The power of friendship

[maxfact]

Doesn't particularly sound like something I'd enjoy, but I'll give it a shot anyway. Need something to watch

[maxfact]

If anything happens to Spoon I'm going on a fucking rampage

[one-time-i-dreamt]

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

[b0tster]

On anon but. I'm someone who has detransitioned. I just want to say that, I was on HRT for about a year. It changed my body in ways that I absolutely love. I have a deep voice, and sharper features, and I have new perspective on my identity and how it interacts with the world. Being trans is a journey. From when I was five up to when I was 17, I fullheartedly believed I was a boy. I was, in that moment. But now, I'm a girl, too. I feel better as a girl - prettier, comfortable. But when I was a boy, I felt good too - in that moment, I was handsome, and I felt so so strong. It's not as scary as it seems. People ebb and flow and change. You can be what you want to be, and if ultimately you want to go back? You can. Just don't discount your experience as a mistake. In the moment it felt right. In the present is what matters.. You'll reflect on it, and maybe you won't ever change. Maybe it'll be what sticks. And that's a lovely thing in and of itself. You will find the you that fits. You will become someone you love by letting yourself express. I promise. Holding back will just mute everything that makes you, you - don't feel like you need to medically transition, either. It was right for me, but research is key, in all things. You'll be beautiful no matter what. Your experiences will shape you - as long as you allow yourself the freedom of expression. I promise.

this is so beautiful. the word detransition does seem to have a negative connotation in certain spaces and im really happy to hear u sharing your positive experience.

its so important to stress that you can simply try it. and if it isnt for you, you can stop.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

[june-egbert-official]

Someone who says they don't care if dudes wear dresses and makeup is a better ally than someone who says they're a safe space for women and non-binary people. I am not joking.

[redrook]

yeah I went to a gay bar recently with my husband tumblr user beemovieerotica, and a VERY confused capital S Southerner straight man in cargo shorts and a trucker hat showed up

apparently he (who through my drunken memory I remember only as Earl) liked some woman, and she told him that he wasn't cultured enough and needed to attend his first drag show (she also flaked on him)

Now I'm reasonably androgynous and was wearing makeup, a short leather skirt, and black heeled boots, but still when this guy came up to me when I was standing off alone and asked "So. Do you come here often?" with a very earnest expression, I thought. Surely not. This guy doesn't think I'm a straight woman does he????

Anyway I start talking with this guy and he has no idea what the fuck is going on but he is just a very kind and earnest dude and asked a lot of questions (while asking if it was alright if he asked those questions). I track down my husband and friends and I'm like y'all. We need to make sure that Earl has a Good Fucking Time tonight.

Man was completely out of his depth. At one point they put on a puppy auction to raise money for Pride, that started with a 6 ft drag queen in all her glory leading a leather pup out on a leash to the tune of that damned RSPCA "in the arms of the angels" song

We look at Earl. Nervous. He squints, laughs, and then goes "I was wondering why people were dressed like that!" He turned to me and asked "So they're like dogs?" And I said yeah pretty much. And he just chuckled and went "Yeah I thought so with the tails! Never seen this before!"

When the first drag king came out, Earl looked at me wide eyed and went "There's a dude version too?!" And I said yeah they're called drag kings. And he said, low, "Drag kings."

During one of the queens performances, he frowned, shook his head and told me, "Your legs are better than hers." in a tone that implied he thought there was some travesty taking place and I should also be getting paid

When he found out I was there with my husband (and that I am not a woman) he profusely apologized and said "I'm so sorry, it's dark in here and I thought you were a hot chick! I wouldn't have said nothing if I knew you had a husband, I'm so sorry about that."

When beemovie invited me to the dance floor with him later and I still had a drink in my hand, Earl said "Oh don't worry about that I can hold your drink, you get on out there and shake your ass with your husband!" Then before we left, Earl bought me drinks for "Putting up with me all night and answering everything. Y'all helped me have a great time tonight."

like. You gotta recognize there's going to people who have never had interacted outside of their of their own community. This includes you. And just because your community is familiar with all the right vocabulary and how to correctly say something, it doesn't mean they're actually going to support you. If someone like Earl shows up, confused and out of their depth but kind and curious and earnest, you gotta have patience and truck through the small things, so when he goes back to his friends and his coworkers and they snicker asking how the drag show was, he can genuinely talk about how included we tried to make him feel and that he had a great time

The person matters more than the language

[givemeunicorns]

I have been noodling over posting this for several days but I think it's important for some people to hear.

At a March on Saturday, at a pro Palestine march, my group and I were targeted by by nazis. Not targeted for violence, but targeted for recruitment. They weren't wearing swastikas, they weren't spewing blatant antisemitic hate speech. They seemed like two normal dudes. They marched with us, talked about how awful everything in Palestine was, how we wished world leaders would grow a pair and hold Israel responsible for fucking war crimes, how existing in the world right now was hard. They were empathetic, they were kind, they seemed like genuine good dudes.

Until we passed a synagogue where people were handing our water to marchers. They had signs defending Palestine on their table. But the tone of the conversation changed. These two seemingly normal dudes started talking about how "performative" the gesture felt, that Jewish people should be doing more. That they needed to PROVE it. They started talking about "Zionist" propaganda in the US, about how it was deeply entrenched in capitalism. Things that, on the surface, seemed reasonable but it set off alarm bells in my head.

When I was a kid, I remember getting the speech of "don't repeat anything your uncle or cousin so and so says and don't argue with them. Try to avoid them but if you can't be polite." Because those uncles and cousins said a lot of hateful things about anyone who wasn't like them, but their favorite targets were black people and Jewish people. I would find out as an adult it was because many of those uncles and cousins were in the Klan. When I studied hate symbols for a class in college, I found my self looking at images I'd seen on arms and necks and hands my whole life, because I live in an area of the US where the KKK is still around. And standing in that crowd, listening to these guys talk, i had the most horrible realization I've had in a long time.

We were being fished by Nazis. We were a group of able body, white American leftists. At a march in support of stopping the murder and genocide of Palestinians, these motherfuckers were out here, trying to find people they could get to hate Jewish folks. I wasn't the only one in my group who clocked it, and when we called them on it, the masks came off. They called us a bunch of "Jew loving bitches" before they moved on.

But we're marched with these guys for a couple hours, talked with them, laughed with them, brought them into our circle. For a moment we forgot we also weren't immune to propaganda, we weren't immune to people who make hate sound reasonable and that people like that never start out saying the quiet part out loud, they lean on your anger and your sense of helplessness to move you where they want you. If the last eight years has taught us anything, it's that fascists know how to adjust to the times, to work with what they got, to recruit. They know how to radicalize people, how to weaponize anger and helplessness. And I'm sitting here, every day, seeing posts that sound exactly like these guys did and it worries me.

I know I'm talking to the No Reading Comprehension Website, but I'm begging you guys to develop some now.

You are not immune to propaganda. We are all angry, as we fucking should be. We are watching an entire culture, thousands of lives, whole bloodlines, being wiped out in real time, and for many of us our nations are at best, wringing their hands, and at worst, shipping them weapons, all to protect capitalist greed. It's monstrous, it's disgusting. But look, REALLY LOOK, at the things you are tweeting, sharing, look at the language and how it's used. Take the time to educate yourself about how hate groups use social justice causes and civil unrest to recruit, research the posts your spreading, check your sources. If you are out protesting, be situationally aware, and do not be afraid to clock and call out Nazis. Listen to Jewish people, listen to their concerns, educate yourself on what Zionism and antisemitism actually are and how they can be weaponized. It doesn't feel as good as rage, it doesn't feel as good as having a group you can functionally rail against in a way we can't against a nation a world away, but it's a skill that's going to help you and a lot of other people in the long run.

[hidefdoritos]

My DIY ripstop worked!

Inspired by ripstop fabric, and by the idea of reinforcing stuff before it breaks, I machine-sewed a little grid along the inside part of the jeans where they always wear out first.

Tonight I was venting about an awful group project to a friend and I draped myself dramatically over the couch and felt something rip a little.

Look! The rips stayed inside their little squares. Look how small it is! Look how easy it'll be to mend!

Ok actually since the fabric's been fading and the thread now looks really dark, I'll probably unpick the grid and sew it again. I'll do thread a shade lighter than the fabric currently is so it'll still match as fading continues.

[foldingfittedsheets]

May I present: Leda and the Swan Princess! It's based on this post about a swan princess who refuses to go quietly in obscurity when cursed. (If you liked this one you will probably also like my other comics which you can find on my pinned post).

If you enjoyed and want to support a queer art student, you can tip me over on my Ko-fi! Tips help me out dramatically while I'm still in school!

[vector-space-outpost]

How do you make yourself tell someone how much you appreciate them, or how big an effect they have on your life? Idk why, but with some people I really can't do that.

I was thinking about ways to circumvent that problem and I remembered that a friend I had once did, like, bulk appreciation. Like, they'd post on social media saying "I just looked through my friends list and I can say this with 100% certainty: if you're reading this I love and appreciate you". And I absolutely hated that, and I still have no idea why.

Rationally I knew that it was not cringe, nor an attack on me of some kind. I knew this was very sweet of them actually, and that it should be making me feel better that they say that.

Yet I still cringed and wanted to tell them to fuck off and leave me alone. I didn't want to be appreciated. I didn't want to be remembered. Fuck you. Fuck off. Leave me to my miserable little lonely life I hate you so much-- (This is a good place to mention that we were both struggling with depression at the time.)

I never told them that, obviously. Their heart was in the right place, it was my head that wasn't, and I didn't want to make their depression worse. And also this was not only directed at me, and other people probably felt normal about it, and the normal way to feel about it is like loved and thankful and shit. (Although I actually hated when they told me personally things like that, too. Again, fuck you, fuck off, leave me alone. Never told them that either.)

It was so bad that even now when I remember they used to do that I want to tell them to fuck off, and they've been dead for three years. Died to their own hands, too. I know, rationally, that these were probably their attempts to hold onto life, to make themselves and others believe there was something good to be experienced and that they were worthy of it; I did that myself over these years. And I'm so so sorry they didn't make it through but I still want to tell them to stop including me in that shit, even though they haven't been doing it for years... Brains are weird.

I'd do bulk appreciation myself, maybe, but I can't bring myself to do it, even though that problem I had was probably extremely specific and not common enough to be a reason not to post stuff like that. I feel like I'd hurt someone the way these words hurt me back then, for reasons that I still do not know.

God I hate it here.

[laarems]

[maniacmcgee]

Y’all… what do you guys do for a living… but describe it in the worst way possible.

[karcatgirl-vantas]

everyone responding to this poll chooses between a blue pill or red pill. everyone who takes a red pill lives. if more people choose blue than red, then only a third of the people who took a blue pill will die, chosen at random. if fewer people choose blue than red, then *everyone* who took a blue pill dies. Which do you choose? Red or Blue?

blue

red

Voting ended onAug 15, 2023

[diaryventblog-2500]

REBLOG THIS POST IF YOU FEEL SAFER WHEN QUEER SPACES ARE OPENLY ACCEPTING OF AMAB NONBINARY PEOPLE

[vector-space-outpost]

Okay so. Since this blog doesn't show up in anyone's notes, I'll admit here: I am the, uh, woman (actually nb) from terf propaganda. I've got trauma from a man's actions, and I associate it with men in general so hard that I still, after four and a half years in therapy, see many men (or people I perceive as men) as threats, fundamentally, because they're men.

I've been working on it for years. Right now, amab nb people don't just fall into "man=danger" category by default, and I'm able to trust cis men that I know well enough -- both of these things were difficult to achieve.

Three years ago, while I was self-aware enough to know that this is just my subconscious regurgitating my trauma into a bias, I couldn't really do anything about that bias. That terror of being alone in a room with a man. It was there, and I couldn't ignore it.

Back then, if I had a need to go to queer spaces, I would have found one where amab nb people wouldn't have been allowed. Because my trauma and my fear were real, and why should I go to a queer space to feel unsafe there? I was deeply depressed at the time, and leaving home was already a problem, so I didn't go to any queer spaces (I still don't, for other reasons). And maybe it's my depression that saved me from falling into a gender-essentialist trap and being recruited by terfs (although I like to think I was too self-aware to actually believe someone telling me it's something intrinsic about men and not just my brain being broken).

I guess what I'm saying is... some people's brain really is hard-wired into "men=danger" to the extent that terf propaganda says it is, and it takes time to unlearn. And I would really like if, during that unlearning time, these people could go to places other than their home and feel safe there. But, since the feeling of danger is based on who the traumatized brain perceives as men, there's really no way to do that, and any approximation like "no men or amab nb people" is just inviting gender-essentialists and their propaganda into your space. And that's just kinda... sad, you know? It's sad that these people can't feel safe outside of their home and places where terfs are actively trying to recruit them. It's sad that there's nothing to be done about it.

[the-village-dunce]

wait actually im really curious now

can you use chopsticks

yeah i'm really good with them

eh kinda sorta

barely, i struggle a lot

nope not at all

other? (in tags)

results

Voting ended onAug 16, 2023

also if you know how to use them please share where you learned it from! (family, friends, internet, takeout chopsticks wrapper etc)