LORD BUSINESS' ASSISTANT

GREETINGS. MY NAME IS VELMA STAPLEBOT. SHOULD YOU WANT TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH LORD BUSINESS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. WE DO NOT CURRENTLY ACCEPT COMPLAINTS.

[batberryboo]

velMA NO

[wyldstyledgal-deactivated201408]

Wyldstyle frowned, leaning back slightly due to the force of his shout. “No, I don’t need any help with anything, thanks…” She raised an eyebrow. Didn’t this guy have a volume button or something?

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"THEN WHY ARE YOU ELECTING TO WASTE MY TIME AS WELL AS EVERYONE ELSE'S? DO YOU NOT KNOW THE MOST BASIC PRINCIPLES OF ECONOMY?"

He made an irritated sound and rummages through his papers. "WAIT."

[velmastaplebot-blog]

M!A you are now very excited for Faith's wedding and you have to be the wedding planner until the wedding is over.

BUT I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"I APOLOGIZE IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH. CONGRATULATIONS, THOUGH. SOMEONE CAN STAND YOU."

[customerservicebot-blog]

"Yes, some people can stand me, unlike you who has no friends at all. I almost pity you.”

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"I CANNOT STAND ANYONE AT ALL. IT IS NOT YOU. IT IS ME."

[customerservicebot-blog]

"Of course you just have to big one massive party pooper! I was considering inviting you but you can just stay in your boring office job, bitch!”

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"I APOLOGIZE IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE TRUTH. CONGRATULATIONS, THOUGH. SOMEONE CAN STAND YOU."

[velmastaplebot-blog]

OOOOH GOOD FOR YOU. MORE OF A REASON NOT TO DO YOU WORK.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

THIS WAS TERRIBLE. IT WOULD APPEAR EVERY TIME SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS, IT ENDS UP BEING TERRIBLE.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

wyldstyledgal started following you

GOOD AFTERNOON. MAY I HELP YOU, MA’AM.

[wyldstyledgal-deactivated201408]

"Huh?" Wait a minute, was that…a robot? Didn’t every single one of them belong to Lord Business? "What do you want?"

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"I WANT TO KNOW WHETHER I CAN DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOU." He replied. "THAT IS WHAT I JUST ASKED YOU."

[velmastaplebot-blog]

I APOLOGIZE FOR MY ABSENCE. I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO KEEP DOING MY JOB DESPITE BEING SHORT A HAND.

IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO WRITE ANYTHING. BUT I SUPPOSE I WILL MANAGE; SOMEHOW.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

wyldstyledgal started following you

GOOD AFTERNOON. MAY I HELP YOU, MA'AM.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

DID YOU KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HARD?

WRITING WITH YOUR NON-DOMINANT HAND.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

((Urge to make 'tis but a scratch' joke rising...))

[velmastaplebot-blog]

IS THERE EVEN ANY KIND OF MECHANIC CURRENTLY ON THE SHIP. I'D HATE HAVING TO SWALLOW MY OWN WORDS AND ADMIT I DO NEED HIS HELP.

[askalegobot]

"Yes Ma’am." He said as he takes a wrench "I’m your mechanic because i’ve worked years as one.Now you better hold still." He said as he was holding up the new arm.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

IT'S NOT MA'AM AND I'D RATHER NOT HAVE YOU HELP ME AT ALL. I'LL GO GET A TECHNICIAN FROM THE BAY AND YOU'RE STAYING HERE; LOOKING AFTER MY MAPS. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT MUCH?" He snapped. "PUT THAT WRENCH AWAY."

[velmastaplebot-blog]

((Before I mysteriously disappear again

here's some headcanons for the AU

Vernon works with maps. He's a cartographer, basically, and keeps tracks of where the ship is and where it is going

He also keeps track of who is on the ship so if you wanna go anywhere, ask him first

He keeps a flare gun under his desk

The constant exposure to salt water and salty air has made him rust and malfunction  just a little

He hates birds. Especially crows and seagulls

That is it))

[askalegobot]

"Look Vernon if i didn't come you would of been killed! You would of been too busy staring at maps to even notice him!" He said harshly "why do you try so hard to be independent? Cause to me it looks like its not working." He argued at his face.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"BECAUSE THAT IS PART OF MY PROTOCOLS." Vernon snapped back. "I AM JUST DOING WHAT I'VE BEEN MEANT TO DO. NOW GO FIND A MECHANIC AND GET ME FIXED. I NEED BOTH MY ARMS TO DRAW THESE MAPS."

[askalegobot]

As he finally came back with some spare parts he was relieved that Vernon actually didn’t die because he knows that Vernon can’t use a gun for his life. “Here we are some spare parts in close to your model sequence Mr. Vernon let me help fix you okay?” He asked with a small smile.

[velmastaplebot-blog]

"HAS IT EVE OCCURRED TO YOU THAT MAYBE IF YOU HAD NO COME IN, I WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST FINE? IS THAT EVEN SOMETHING YOU THINK ABOUT." He sneered, pointing for him to set the parts on the desk. "I WILL HANDLE THIS ON MY OWN."