What's My Age Again? @vengeanceforever - Tumblr Blog

juststemthings

my uterus realizing we aren’t having a baby after building up a lining for three weeks:

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snotpunx

andy dwyer’s reaction to sexual harassment is exactly what it should be

7mangoes

“cum in me” is the most romantic sentence in the English dictionary

thanatosjr

Instructions for a walk in the woods

Never turn around to check behind you. You’ll see nothing, but once you start doing it you won’t be able to stop, and an ominous feeling will follow you until you don’t lock your house’s door behind you.

If you stand very still and listen you will hear the woods calling for you. Don’t answer. Never answer.

You’ll hear things quietly following you, hidden in the trees by your sides. It’s okay, they’re just checking on you.

Don’t be scared, but be really, really wary.

If you have a bad feeling about taking a certain path, don’t. You’ll avoid whatever is waiting for you at the end of it.

You never know what may be buried under the soil you’re walking on. Remember that every time you take a step. Pray that whatever it is, it won’t wake up.

Be careful not to step on any beetle, or you’ll never get rid of them.

If you bring a knife with you, name it. Otherwise the blade will turn against you as soon as you try to use it.

Make sure you remember the way back home. As soon as you get lost, you’re just another piece of fresh meat.