How? Thatâs the first question most people think. Too bad theyâll never get an explanation.
Which is fair because youâre not really sure how it happened either.
He cannot go a day without making you laugh at least once, one way or another, he will get you to smile.
Always has candy with him at all times, no idea where he gets it from.
Will take you to arcades, fairs, malls, stores, etc, and acts like thereâs nothing weird about it at all. You never have to feel self-conscious because everyone will be too busy looking at him.
Doesnât matter if you lose a game, you will get a prize. Art is known for his âpersuasiveâ approach.
Absolutely loves going trick-or-treating with you
Will get really into whatever game youâre playing with your toys, he may not speak, but his expressions tell the story on their own.
Definition of oneâs talks a lot and the other listens. You will never bore him. He will listen to any crazy story you come up with or anything you wanna talk about.
Heâs very childish and his own right, so he has no problem watching kids shows or movies with you. But if youâd prefer to step outside of that and watch horror movies with him, heâd be more than happy to oblige.
Speaking of holidays, he gets really into Christmas, will make sure you believe in Santa because he will dress up and put gifts under the tree and act shocked as to how they got there. Plays the role really well.
Very much does not care about anyone else but you.
If anyone dare upset you in anyway, they will go missing, simple as that.
Victoria is like a mother figure to you, sheâll be there to take care of you when Art is gone. Brushing your hair, watching movies with you, going for walks, playing with toys, all of it.
Sheâll never let you feel self-conscious about the way you look because sheâs beautiful and so are you.
The three of you are like one beautifully, messed up family. And they will always keep you safe. đ¤
Healthy reminder for littles, you donât need to justify having a âscaryâ character as a comfort character or a fictional cg :3 if they make you feel happy and safe then thatâs all that matters! :D sincerely a regressor who has Pearl as a fictional cg :)
the writers for American Dad are genuinely very good at coming up with unique plotlines for episodes. that one episode where Klaus buys a haunted hair comb with a wraith inside that he sets free and then discovers sheâs a huge baseball fan. the one where Francine is feeling isolated from the family and gets trapped in a twilight zone style motel where she becomes obsessed with spying on her guests through the air vents. Roger and Steve working at a mall that is owned by a warlock who feeds shoppers to an evil fountain which binds their souls to the building until they eventually become mannequins. Hayley making friends with an elderly woman at her college who ends up abducting her to try and use her body as a vessel to become young again. I really do think this show is great at coming up with unique and creative stories especially for a cartoon thatâs been on the air for over 20 years now and has almost 400 episodes in total
something about adult comedy cartoom fandom fascinates me. yes ship those 2 gross dudes together. yeah write teen-esque angst about that 45 year old. yes write self-insert fanfic about that dude whos balding with a beer belly. nothing matters anymore
I was unaware of Markiplier telling his fans that they better behave in the theaters which is hilarious to me because I've been joking with my staff that if the people for Iron Lung acted up in our theater I was going to email Markiplier like a disappointed teacher
I work at a theater and despite full showings we have barely had to clean them because people don't leave trash. no complaints from anyone about other customers being loud/obnoxious. every customer who has bought a ticket for iron lung has been polite. i'm so incredibly proud not only of Markiplier but also the fanbase. thanks guys, as both a Mark fan and movie employee
in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time
could you please do a fic with cg jason todd and a baby regressor reader? :) maybe heâs come home from a mission while dick was babysitting and reader is so happy to see him! and they spend the rest of the evening together and winding down! thank you!
Jason's Little Bird
word count: 4103
Description: Jason comes back from a mission to find his place a mess from Uncle Grayson babysitting his baby regressor.
cw: like two cuss words, brief mentions of Jason having minor injuries on his face from his mission, brief baby crying. its pretty fluffy tbh
ao3 vers
While Jason definitely appreciated his older brother babysitting for him while he was out on missions⌠he definitely wished Dick wouldn't rile you up so much for his return. Because while Grayson could no doubt be the most responsible out of the group of chaotic robins⌠he was also still a man that grew up in a circus and was elated to have the chance to be the fun uncle.Â
That meant every time Jason came home, tired and beat up, he would instantly be bombarded with whatever mischief you two had gotten up to and the high likelihood that heâd be dealing with a babyâs sugar crash once his brother left.Â
Today was no different. He took a deep breath as he unlocked the door, already hearing your sweet little excited screams and laughter that only became louder as he stepped inside far enough to see Dick pushing you around in a laundry basket in the transformed living room. He makes train noises and skirts you precariously close around diy obstacles to make you giggle and shriek more, not noticing Jason yet due to how good he was at being stealthy.
Along with his perfectly nice new rocking chair being used as one of the obstacles, Jason could see candy, popcorn, half-drunk baby bottles, and way too many toys littered around the room. Making it look as if there had been a massive rager of a party in the few hours he'd been gone.Â
He leans on the doorway as his gaze wanders away from the mess to watch you two for a few moments, feeling a mix of fondness and genuine bewilderment over how you two could create such a mess in such little time.Â
After Grayson makes you crash into the pile of sofa cushions, sending them toppling to the floor, Jason clears his throat to get both of your attention. Both of you whip your head around to look back at him, giggle fits paused to register who had silently snuck up on them.Â
Upon the sight of your caregiver standing there with his usual stoic, resting-grump expression, your face breaks right back into a massive smile of pure love for the man that everyone else feared so much. You squeal out nonsense babble, attempting to crawl out of the basket while your hands outstretch towards him, a recipe practically promising you would fall on your face if someone didn't help you.
Seeing your cute baby giddiness for him, Jason's mouth quirks up in a small smile and crosses the room while Dick helps lift you out of the basket while also making sure you don't lose your balance.Â
He carefully steps over mess after mess to make sure he doesn't break any of your toysâluckily he had his boots still on so he wouldn't get something lodged in his foot this time. Reaching you before you have to crawl very far, he kneels down and holds his arms out.
âHey kidâŚâ He greets you, helping keep you stable as you practically try to climb him. The excitement that blew up in your chest upon seeing him filling you with the overwhelming need to both give and get as much affection from your favorite person as you could get.Â
You babble nonsense, the only words anyone is vaguely able to make out is the nickname you call him while regressed to which Jason gives a quiet breathy laugh, responding to what he thought you were trying to convey. âYeah⌠I know. I'm back. I'm home. You missed me plenty, huh? Mmhm. I hear ya kid.. Youâre real little right now. Younger than I left you.â
He rubs your back then adjusts how he's positioned on the floor to sit you more comfortably in his lap while you keep babbling. Your hand now coming up to lightly paw at his uniform. He glances up at Dick, now crisscross on the floor in front of them, seeing him munch on one of the candies that had been scattered on the floor.Â
Jason raises an eyebrow at him, glancing around the living room turned⌠whatever this was then continues pretending to be your interpreter so he could get some sort of legitimate answer from Dick, âSo⌠sounds like the kidâs tellin me you two had⌠fun.âÂ
His brother grins slightly, popping another floor candy in his mouth, his consciousness apparently free from guilt. âYeah. Babies know how to have fun.â
âOh you're saying the baby came up with all this?â he says sarcastically, gesturing vaguely to the candy they both knew fully well had not been stocked in Jason's place for a kid to have casually found.
Grayson laughs a bit and shrugs as you babble out something to participate in the conversation, âHear that? They're taking responsibility.â
Jason scoffs out a laugh and shakes his head, turning his smile down at you and softening his voice a little more as he asks, âIs that what you're doing? Huh? Or are you tattling on Uncle Dickhead?âÂ
You giggle and shake your hands happily, looking between the two of them as you recognize enough words to know your carer was talking about Grayson. You point at him to prove you knew that word, looking at Jason for approvable which he instantly gives with amused pride.Â
âIt was Uncle? He destroyed the whole place and you were such a good kid who would neeeever participate in his shenanigans? Oh I knew it! Good job! Yeaaah! Good job, baby!â
âThats not fair! You're manipulating their love for you and their babyspace!â
âI would never. I believe in letting kids make their own choices no influencing the decsion.â Jason shoots him a playfully evil look then whispers to you while not so subtly pointing to himself, âwho do you like better, hm? Me or your stinky uncle? Me right?â
âWhat?? You can't ask that! What are youâ hey! Little bird. Look at me! Look at uncle! You loooove your uncle yeah? I let you skip naptime and eat a lot of junk food and I even drove you around in your own basket train!â
Jason whispers the little nickname you gave him a few times for extra insurance you would choose him⌠since he was pretty sure you didn't even fully know what they were playfully arguing over you to do⌠but you would no doubt respond to your favorite words.Â
His plan successfully gets your attention, your gaze no longer flipping between them curiously. You giggle as you look at Jason then reach up to paw at his face, fingers clumsily grabbing near his mouth where the words you liked hearing the most were coming from.
He pretends to try eating your fingers and you squeal softly, pulling them away but watching him with rapt attention to see what he would do next. With a bigger smile on his faceâone he usually kept mostly between you and himâhe proudly states to Grayson who had to quickly turn his admiration from watching the soft moment between you two into pretend sulking. âI win. You know what that means.â
âYeah⌠okay okay. I'm going.â Grayson groans and stands up, Jason helping you stand up and walk by letting you stand on his feet and keeping you upright with his arms wrapped around you.Â
He walks Grayson to the door, your gaze fixed your two feet and the way Jason sort of waddles to move each of your legs with his.Â
He opens the door and uses your arms to gesture in an exaggerated way outwards while playfully delivering in a dry tone to his brother, âGet out of my house.â
âIâm out. Iâm gone.â Grayson holds his hands up in surrender as he walks out of the door, briefly pausing to break his act to give you an actual goodbye. He kisses your cheek and whispers to you before giving his little brother a wave as well, "I had fun, kiddo. Don't be too good for Jason while I'm gone.âÂ
Jason closes the door behind him and walks you back to the living room, groaning dramatically about how heavy your feet felt standing on his, âI mean⌠we gotta teach you how to walk soon. Or just how to crawl faster.â
You tilt your head back to try looking at him, babbling nonsense back that he shrugs at, âCause Iâm not Superman, bud. Iâm only going to pick you up when I absolutely have to. Or⌠when I'm training and you're big enough to have fun being tossed around.â
He carefully sits you down on the floor, grabbing the couch cushions and placing them back where they're supposed to be. You whine at first when you're separated but stop when he softly chastises you, âwoah. No. No whining unless we're hurt.â he gives you a tired but still stern look until you stop, mostly out of innocent confusion for what garnered that look.Â
Ultimately you choose to crawl your way right in front of his feet to get his attention but after he tucks the last cushion in he simply⌠steps around you and nabs the blanket off the tv. You make another noise at being ignored and toss a toy in his direction then bounce on your knees while lightly smacking your hands on the floor to try getting him to come over and play.
âYou throwing stuff at me now? Listen, little bird⌠I don't want to get into a fight tonight with you. So you better make the next shot worth it cause Iâll swaddle you so tight in this blanket so you can't do it a third time.â
You make soft hum noises and keep smacking your hands on the floor to keep his attention on you. You just wanted to keep the playtime going like with Uncle Grayson⌠but Jason knew well enough by the way your hands were subtly vibrating and the fact his brother said that you missed your nap⌠you would be crashing soon. Just like he would since he was running out of leftover adrenaline from his mission.
He tosses the blanket over your head for good measure on his threat then looks around for the tv remote so you both could have some time to⌠relax and wind down before putting you to bed. You squawk at the blanket landing over you and clumsily pull it off, making sure to let him know about your displeasure that he mimics softly during his search.Â
âMmm bahbah ehhhyeah yeah I knowâ give me a moment.â He finally finds the remote in the tipped over bowl of popcorn and vaguely wipes it off on his pants before coming over to collapse onto the couch. âOkay⌠câmere kid. It's getting close to your bedtime⌠in⌠a few hours.â
You look at him with a mixture of excitement and frustration. Because he WAS home but he WASN'T playing with you. And that just wasn't fair. You made a little displeased noise as he pats the couch, expecting you to climb up as if you weren't some poor little helpless baby that couldn't even walk on your own without help! How could he expect you to do anything on your own without his busted beefy arms picking you up?
You pout at him and lightly smack the couch to sort of mimic him. He tilts his head slightly, trying to not show his amusement at your frustration. Because it wasn't funny that you were slowly getting tired and irritated but it was funny to see you trying to argue through babble along with those clumsy hand flaps. âWhat? What's that look for? Hm? Climb up here.â
You were losing your giddy little kid patience, not realizing you had begun to grow tired without any more candy to keep your sugar high going. You move a little closer to the couch just to drape as much as yourself as you could without raising off your knees, your cheek resting on the cushion to pout at him.Â
âAwwha..â he coo laughs at your pitiful performance a bit sarcastically, âare you too little, huh? Are you too little and the couch too tall?â You make a soft extra pitiful whine and he grins softly at you with a head shake, finally leaning towards you. âYou need help?â
He gives a soft chuckle then reaches out for you, âalright.. Poor baby. Up you go.â he hoists you up onto his lap, moving the blanket to rest around your shoulders but you squirm until it's off again. You still wanted to play⌠as evident by the toy you had snagged off the floor right before he hoisted you up.Â
You bounce in his lap, babbling again with the expectation he would join you. But he gives you a slightly tired look and doesn't coo back to you, instead trying to limit your bouncing. After a minute, your babbles turned more grumpy and insistent, demanding he play with his favorite baby!
âBabyâ I know. Okay? I know you want to play. But⌠I'm running on empty.. And I think you are too soâ waitâ noâ donâtââ You insistently keep bouncing, now shaking the toy in his face and he grunts softly from frustration.Â
He takes a breath to stay stern instead of angry. âNo. No play.â he says firmly, gently pushing the toy to your chest to make sure he got through to you even through your current limited vocab.
The rejection hurts your chest and makes you pause, looking at him with slight despair, like him not wanting to keep the whole day full of playtime was a sort of betrayal. He sighs and gently tries to tug you forward to lay down against him but you don't go right away, a pout forming on your lips along with some watery eyes. He starts to shake his head with a grimace, âNo⌠don't cry either⌠I didn't mean to make you cry⌠I'm just tired. And I know you're tired too. Aren't you kiddo?â
He wipes his thumb under your eyes where the tears havenât quite fallen yet, a silent promise to wipe them when they do and to give you a gentle touch to let you focus on while he speaks real softly to you again, âYeah⌠are you so tired? I can see it. Dick didn't put you down for a nap and fed you too much candy⌠now you're so sleepy.â
You start to nod a little with him, liking the sounds of him talking and reassuring you about how tired you were. And you know what? You were feeling a little tired now that he mentioned it. Almost overwhelmingly so. It made the tears feel hotter and you give a small breathy sob.Â
âLet's have some quiet time.. Okay? Yeah. Wind down. No more play tonight. Let's get you calm and ready for bed.â This time when he tugs you forward you cuddle into his chest to have a brief quiet cry. âOof.. yeah. There you go.â
He rubbed your back for a few minutes to calm down the crying he knew was mostly from you being regressed so little. Babies didn't have great emotional regulation and while he always felt a little anxious about you crying he could recognize that you weren't actually hurt or upset. You were just a little baby with a sugar crash.
He turns on the tv and lowers the volume quiet enough to keep things soft before even looking for a show. He flicks through a few channels deciding cartoons would be better mindless content for the both of you to half watch than something like the news. No one liked Gotham news anyway. Not even the anchors.Â
You peek at it but keep your face mostly smushed against him, the lazy tears that dripped out ran down his uniform if he didn't wipe them off first. You mumble out a tearful nonsense word while pointing to the screen with the toy still clasped tightly in your hand as Bluey briefly pops up.Â
Jason makes an uncertain noise and flips it to a different cartoon, âEhh⌠maybe not tonight, kiddo. Last time Bluey made me cry. And I dont⌠think we both need to have tears tonight.â
He flicks through a couple more, ultimately stopping on Transformers. You look at the screen curiously for a moment then back at him, finally noting how tired he looked right now. His face was about as dirty and bruised as his hands were. Brows slightly pinching together you reach up to brush your fingers over a cut on his cheekbone as lightly as a baby could.
His eyes flick over to you, curious about what you were doing. He gives a slightly confused smile at you, âWhat?â you make a soft noise and keep touching the mark until he wraps his fingers around yours, tugging them away. âYeah? That so? Well how about this? We watch the rest of this episode⌠then you can help bandage me up and drink a warm bottle?âÂ
He didn't think either of you would be awake enough by then to actually bandage him up but he could manage a bottle. As⌠long as there was a clean one left in the kitchen and they weren't all on the floor right now.Â
You make a soft squeal and squeeze his hand, repeating the last word with a smile that begins to dry the last of your tears. âBababaâŚâ
âMmhm⌠bottle. Looks like you didn't finish a full one at all today⌠also looks like you were drinking soda from them instead of something good for babies.â Something he would also probably do if you gave him sweet enough puppy eyes.
âBahbaba..â
âBottle. Buh⌠aw⌠tuh⌠ul..â he repeats again, sounding out the word with you that you mouth along with.
Only to continue with the same babbled version.Â
âBuh..ababab..â
âYou know what? That's perfect.â he nods and releases your hand to pat your butt instead, âIâll get you a proper baba in a bit.â
You giggle softly and bring your freed hand up to his mouth, lightly poking at the split part there while he talks. âBababaââ
Jason moves his head away each time you poke at the split then would turn back to pretend bite at your fingers. He pauses when you babble the same word again. It should be annoying. But it had teetered over to ridiculous for him, making him snort out a laugh. He drops his forehead against yours at first as his shoulders shake with quiet laughter then quickly drops it down to your shoulder as he keeps laughing.
âIt'sâ this is so stupidâ it's not even a.. Its not even a funny wordââ
You smile a little as you watch him, pawing at his shoulders and chest to try getting him to look back up at you while he laughs as you cut him off to once again repeat your apparent new favorite word. âBabababaâ!â
He chokes out a louder snort then lets you pull his head back to look up at you, knowing you had no idea how ridiculous you were as a baby. âIt's so stupid, little bird. It'sâ ohh.. This is so dumb⌠I.. I know for sure I'm tired..for⌠laughing at⌠whatever this is. I thinkâŚâ he shakes his head as he forces his laughing fit to calm down. He lets out a little breath then stands up, hoisting you with him, doing exactly what he said he wouldnât do earlier. Carrying you when it wasn't necessary. âWe need to just go to bed now. Before we get anymore⌠sleep drunk.â
He carries you to the kitchen, sitting you on the counter so his hands were free to look for any clean bottles⌠however he was instantly reminded how little you were when you nearly topple right off the moment he moved away.
âShitââ he moves quickly, catching and gently sliding you back into a safer spot, âalright. Yeah. Okay. That was⌠my fault for.. Not keeping a hold of you.â
âSha.. eet..!â
âWhat? Noâ youââ he presses his lips together to keep from cracking up again. âI guess.. That's also my fault. But at least⌠you've moved onto a different word?â
He slides you over on the counter, towards a different cupboard. Putting it within arms reach while he could still keep a hand on you to keep you in place. He fumbles around to look for a bottle making a slightly relieved sigh as he sees one last one bottle left hidden behind his many chipped coffee mugs. He frees it from behind its cheap ceramic soldiers and hoists you back onto his hip to turn around in the small kitchen, opening up the fridge.Â
He holds it open with his foot then looks between the gallon of milk he needed to grab and the bottle in his only free hand. He ends up offering it to you to hold, which you happily do, bringing it to your mouth to try drinking from the empty bottle as he grabs the milk.Â
He sets you back down on the counter and looks at you as you make little confused frustrated noises as you can't get anything out of it. âYou struggling, kid? I wonder if it's because thereâs nothing in there to drink..â
He gently pries it from your mouth where you were biting at the rubber then unscrews the cap, shaking the milk container, watching the way your mouth drops open in surprise to hear the drink you wanted was in a whole different place. He gives a small chuckle and pours the slightly frothed milk into the bottle, not bothering to clean up the counter or the side of the bottle when it spills over.Â
He goes to put the bottle in the microwave right behind you but you whine and clumsily grab at the bottle to bring it back towards yourself. More spills over but he keeps it from completely toppling, âyou want it now? It's cold. You feel it? Cold.â
You keep trying to wrestle the bottle towards yourself, not caring that it was cold. âBaby birdâ cold. Do you want it cold or warm? Warm milk?â he points to the microwave but it causes you to nearly spill the bottle again so he just gives up on trying to get you to understand.
âOkay. You don't want it warm? I.. sure whatever you want.â he pries your now milk covered fingers off the bottle so he can twist the lid back on.Â
He hands it back to you which you eagerly bring right back up to your mouth, trying twice as hard to drink from it since the first time all you got was air. But now that there's actual milk in it you get a little too much in your mouth, nearly inhaling it and causing you to cough it right back out, getting your shirt a mess.Â
He looks at you with a bewildered and slight disgusted expression, thinking, âwhy would you do that?â
He slowly pushes the base of the bottle down so you can't do it again right away, still looking at you with such a tired emotion as he tried to figure out if he even wanted to deal with this the responsible way or not.
When you cough again, milk spittle getting on his uniform the decision is made for him. He was too tired for full dad mode. You're getting the big brother fix.
He peels your wet shirt off, using the dry parts to wipe more of you off then just⌠drops the shirt on the floor to be with the rest of the mess he would have to clean up tomorrow then repeats the came actions with his uniform.
He preferred to not sleep in his uniform anyway. At least not when you were regressed. He didnt⌠need to always feel wound up and ready to fight at any moment if he was taking care of you. Because with you his role was to be your caregiver. Not a vigilante.
You don't seem to mind the difference in clothing just reaching back out for the bottle again. He holds it away, picking you up instead and heading to the bedroom.Â
Getting you both comfy in bedâincluding putting a wall of pillows on your side so you might not fall off at nightâhe lets you half curl up into his lap and drink from the bottle again. With him holding it to control some of the flow this time however.
notes are terrifyingly full of people telling on themselves. this is like showing up at an orgy and finding out half of the participants don't know how to use a condom bc it's "scary" and "confusing" and "im lazy lol". THIS IS NOT A LOL MOMENT
Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document đ
If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I'm glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing something, but âď¸ don't ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you
