for forgetting

[venula]

Pretend I don’t see you in the corner Trying to ignore me, like you could forget What it feels like to have me in your bed, tried to erase it; it’s permanent the mark I left, like a scar formed from a memory you regret. You Regret It.

[venula]

It was just liked you promised We were better off in time Your memory is softer round the eyes and I’m mostly being honest when I tell you that I’m fine Until I wake up in the middle of the night On the wrong side

[venula]

You’ve known since a young age

people aren’t what they seem.

Behind their beauty and their bones

lies a human without reason.

Life continues to teach us

to give and give, keep giving

until there is nothing left but empty.

How do we survive it?

Hold on to the memories:

the shallow truths, the heavy lies;

all the questions that went answered

with nothing more than silence.

Remember what you fight for

even if you’ve never seen it in the flesh.

Don’t let go of hope and wonder

despite feeling there’s none of either left.

It doesn’t define you when they say

you’ve done something wrong.

In the end it turns out you’re all

you ever needed after all.

[venula]

Are we not the cutest best friends you've ever seen⁉️⁉️⁉️

[venula]

You are never alone; you can always find me in the skyline, 10/25/2017

[venula]

What is Love? What does it feel like and how do you know how when you’re in love ??

I don’t believe that love can possibly be unitarily defined - everyone experiences it differently, refining it with their own expectations and desires.For me, love is about trust, openness, patience, and communication. If you have these things, love feels like happiness should. You don’t worry about the hard days because your partner isn’t there to judge you for them, they’re there to support you through them, and vice versa. You don’t worry about not seeing eye to eye on everything because you shouldn’t; fall in love with someone that pushes you to grow and expand rather than stay comfortable in where you’ve always been. You should feel like you can be at home with your partner, even if you don’t always feel like you’re at home within yourself. You’ll know you’re in love when you’re not afraid to be honest about the hard days; when you want to share the worst things about yourself because you know that person won’t run. Love isn’t about finding that one perfect person for you. No one is perfect. Love is about finding someone and saying “you are the best you that you can possibly be, but together, we can learn and grow and become better every day”.

[venula]

The sun on my neck reminds me that it is okay to feel like I am not okay. It soothes the pain that is always saying I should be embarrassed because I am human. Who is she? Who is she? That woman there collecting leaves. More variant colours than mixed emotions; the leaves are free.

[venula]

Mean when drunk. Spills secrets with a sour tongue. Bitter when the bottle's down. Wishing my stomach was empty; the less I eat, the faster the release. A feeling I know all too well coming from a family well versed in how to disappear the liquor. It’s worship.

[venula]

There are parts of me that only exist because of you. This is what makes me sure I'll never let go.

Things I Never Got To Tell You, Part 95

[venula]

Asking you to carry me I stayed ignorant to your needs. Love wasn't what I gave you it was weight: a heavy dose of sorrow and pain to blame for my mistakes. I wanted to be better, and some days I think maybe I was. My love was never for you; it was selfish. It was rushed. I wanted you to need me; I'm afraid I always will, but you've seen real love now. Selfish just won't do. You've done better than outgrow me; you left me high and dry. You knew exactly what I needed to open up my eyes.

My Love Was Never For You, by Mariah Gordon-Dyke

[venula]

When I died and went to heaven and it turned out to be this apartment building bye

[venula]

No man’s an island, even if he tries to be one, 09/26/16

[venula]

I’m different, I’m different. You keep saying it but no one’s listening. You grow and you change but your history stays the same. They’ll forget your name and your face but they won’t forget your mistakes.

[venula]

It took you drowning for me to realize what this was. I tried to become what picked you up and instead of surviving you swallowed us both.

[venula]

Three years later I still wake up tasting you on the insides of my cheeks.  It’s a sour liquor and a burning cigarette. I thought by now the regret would be gone.

[venula]

If you would have let me grow you could have come along.

Things I Never Got To Tell You, Part 94

[venula]

The phone will keep ringing even though you’re home.

You’ll try to erase me, but I’ll never really be gone.

You’ll lie and say you’re sorry, but we’ll both know you’re not.

I’ll keep chasing a memory, and you’ll pretend I never called.