Warning ⚠️: Pregnancy, Childbirth and strong language
Author note: you like and share and tag me but please don't steal my work by make it your own
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The morning had started off deceptively calm at Chastain Memorial. The buzz of nurses, the beeping of monitors, and the rustle of white coats painted the usual picture of controlled chaos. But for Dr. Y/N Hawkins, who was nearly at her due date, the day was anything but ordinary.
"You sure you still want to do rounds today?" Nic asked, falling into step beside her as they headed for the east wing.
Y/N grinned, resting a hand on her belly. "I said I’d work until this kid decides to make an entrance. She’s not due for another week, and you know how much paperwork piles up when I’m gone."
Amina snorted. "Only you would be worried about paperwork at nine months pregnant."
"That’s what makes me great," Y/N said with a wink.
They met up with Dr. Kitt Voss near the nurses' station. Kitt gave Y/N a quick once-over. "You know I support strong women. But if your water breaks on hospital flooring, I’m billing you for the cleaning."
Y/N just smiled. "Duly noted."
The four women—Y/N, Nic, Amina, and Kitt—stepped into the main elevator, their voices echoing off the metal walls as they discussed patients, procedures, and snack rotation duty for the residents. The doors closed. The elevator began to rise.
Then it stopped. Abruptly.
The lights flickered, and there was a loud clank followed by silence.
"Oh no," Amina said.
"This better be temporary," Kitt muttered, hitting the emergency call button.
Nic tried her phone. "No service."
Y/N shifted on her feet. "Okay, not panicking. Just stuck in a box. With three doctors. We’re fine. Totally fine."
Down the hall, Devon noticed the elevator wasn’t responding to any calls. He approached and saw the floor numbers frozen. A strange feeling crept into his chest. He leaned toward the small space between the doors.
"Dr. Voss? Nic? Hello?"
"Devon!" came Nic’s voice. "We’re in here. Elevator’s stuck."
"Oh thank God. Are you guys—"
"Except that your girl is in labour!" Kitt shouted.
Devon reeled back. "WHAT?!"
Y/N, now crouched on the elevator floor, gave a strained groan. "Okay. Okay. That one hurt. Definitely not Braxton-Hicks."
"Devon!" Nic called. "Find Conrad. Now."
Devon didn’t hesitate. He took off down the hall, dodging interns and nearly knocking over a medication cart.
Meanwhile, in Bell’s office, tensions were flaring between Conrad and Bell.
"You can’t keep bypassing protocol just because you think you know better," Bell said.
"I do know better," Conrad replied. "Patients aren’t metrics."
Marshall Hawkins sat silently in the corner, arms folded as he watched his son go toe-to-toe with Chastain’s co-CEO.
Conrad stood immediately. "Slow down. What happened?"
Devon tried again. "Y/N, Nic, Dr. Voss, and Amina are stuck in the main elevator. Y/N’s having contractions. It’s active labor."
Conrad was already out the door. Bell and Marshall exchanged looks before following him.
Back in the elevator, Y/N had lowered herself onto a folded lab coat. Sweat lined her brow.
"This is so on-brand for me," she muttered. "Pregnant doctor goes into labor in a tin can. Classic."
Kitt checked her pulse and timing. "Contractions are two minutes apart. She’s in active labor."
Amina crouched beside her. "We’ve got you. Just breathe."
"Don’t tell me to breathe! I’ve been breathing for nine months!"
Nic stifled a laugh. "That’s a good sign. The sarcasm means she’s still with us."
"Good. I’d hate to miss the dramatic elevator birth," Y/N groaned. "You know, I could’ve just taken the stairs."
The elevator doors creaked slightly. Maintenance was finally breaking through. Conrad squeezed through the gap just as Y/N let out another groan.
"Hey," he said, kneeling beside her.
Y/N glared. "Of course you’re here. Just in time to watch while I do all the work."
Conrad kissed her temple. "You’re doing amazing."
"You did this to me, Hawkins. You and your smug little smirk. When this baby’s out, I swear—"
Marshall and Bell watched from the other side of the doors.
"She’s got his fire," Bell muttered.
"She is his fire," Marshall replied.
Minutes later, Clara Grace Hawkins entered the world inside a slightly too-warm, slightly-too-cramped elevator car. Amina held the baby, crying. Nic checked vitals. Kitt cut the cord with practiced hands.
The doors finally groaned open.
Y/N, on a gurney, was rolled out into applause from nurses, residents, and even a few patients.
"I can’t believe I just gave birth in a freaking elevator. Someone better get me a T-shirt."
Marshall leaned over the gurney. "She’s beautiful. What’s her name?"
Conrad and Y/N exchanged a look.
"Clara Grace Hawkins," Conrad said. "Named after Nic’s mom."
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Later, in the recovery room, the chaos finally over, Conrad sat beside Y/N’s bed, holding her hand.
"I’m sorry I yelled at you," she whispered.
He smiled. "You called me a smug-faced, medically certified pain in the ass."
"I meant it."
He kissed her. "I love you, too."
A soft knock on the door brought their attention to the entrance. Marshall stepped inside, a rare gentleness softening his features.
"Hey," he said quietly. "Mind if I come in?"
Y/N smiled, her voice still tired but warm. "Of course not. Come meet your granddaughter."
Marshall approached the bassinet, eyes fixed on the tiny bundle swaddled in pink. He looked down at her for a long moment, then gently brushed a finger along her cheek.
"She’s got your eyes, Conrad. But that little scowl—definitely Y/N’s."
Conrad chuckled. "She’s already giving me attitude."
"That’s how you know she’ll run the world one day," Y/N murmured.
Marshall sat in the nearby chair, unusually quiet. "You two… you did good. She’s perfect."
Y/N reached over, touching his hand. "Thank you for being there. I know our family’s complicated sometimes."
Marshall nodded. "Families are always complicated. But today… this was something simple. Beautiful. Thank you for letting me be part of it."
The room filled with silence again—not awkward, but peaceful. The kind of silence that spoke of connection, of beginnings.
And for the Hawkins family, this was the beginning of everything new.
hi, I was wondering if you would take a conrad hawkins can it be about something along the lines of conrad, gigi and reader/billie spend the day together then gigi asks if they can both read and stay with her till she falls asleep then later when they're getting ready to sleep they talk or maybe hint to having kids and they get excited?
Thank you
Thank you @unordinarysstuff for this ask! I hope you enjoy what I have written.
For more Conrad Hawkins x Reader check out my master list. If you have any requests, do send them in.
Conrad Hawkins x Reader ~ One Day
“Let’s go on the swing, Dad!”
Gigi’s voice rang out, bright and full of excitement, as she raced ahead toward the playground. Her laughter drifted through the cool afternoon air, light and free. You couldn’t help but smile, your heart swelling as you watched Conrad jog after her, pretending to be out of breath.
Moments like this had quickly become your favourite. Not just because of Gigi but because of him. You and Conrad had been together for quite some time now. Long enough for the thrill of new love to settle into something deeper; something that felt like home.
You had met Conrad by chance months ago on a school trip to the museum. One of your students had suddenly collapsed. Panic had surged through you until Conrad had appeared from the nearby exhibit, calm and steady.
“It’s okay,” he said, his voice reassuring, “I’m a doctor.”
Conrad checked the boy’s pulse, eased him onto his side and guided you through what to do until the paramedics arrived. Gigi had been with Conrad that day, watching from beside her dad with wide eyes. When the paramedics had arrived, she had looked up at him and whispered proudly, “My dad’s a hero.”
You had thanked him over and over, shaken but grateful. He had smiled, that kind, easy smile that would soon become so familiar and asked if you were alright. You had ended up talking afterward while Gigi explored the gift shop and by the time you parted ways, something small but certain had started between you.
Now, months later, watching him and Gigi together at the park, that same steadiness and warmth was still there. Only now, you were part of it.
Today had been Gigi’s idea. The three of you had gone for pizza first, then ice cream and now you were at the park. Watching her on the swing, her laughter bubbling as Conrad gave her gentle pushes, filled you with a quiet joy that spread all the way through you. When she called out, “Look at me!” Conrad caught your eye and grinned, that soft, unguarded grin that always made your stomach flutter.
“Ready?”
Conrad’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. He sat beside you on the bench, his arm brushing lightly against yours just enough to make your pulse skip.
“For what?” you asked, smiling.
“Miss Gigi,” he said, scooping the little girl into his arms as she came running over, “Has decided it’s time to head home for movie night.”
Gigi giggled, leaning into him, then turned to you with hopeful eyes.
“You’re coming too, right?”
You smiled, warmth flooding your chest.
“Of course, I am.”
Her grin widened as she reached for your hand. As you walked to the car, she skipped happily between you and her dad, holding both your hands tight. The late sunlight stretched long and golden around the three of you, wrapping everything in the soft kind of glow that made the world feel safe and right.
⸻
Later that evening, the three of you were curled up on the couch, Gigi bundled in her favourite fluffy blanket while Frozen played on the TV. Her small head rested against your shoulder and her feet were stretched across Conrad’s lap. Every so often, she sang along with the songs. Quiet, sleepy versions of the words she knew by heart.
You felt Conrad’s gaze on you. When you looked up, he was smiling softly, his thumb absently tracing small circles against Gigi’s ankle. Across her head, your eyes met and the quiet warmth between you said everything.
Before long, Gigi’s eyelids began to droop. Her head grew heavier on your shoulder until her breathing deepened into soft, even sighs.
“She’s out,” you whispered, smiling.
Conrad chuckled under his breath.
“Didn’t even make it to the end this time.”
He scooped her up gently, careful not to wake her and you followed him down the hall to her room. He laid her in bed, tucking the blanket around her shoulders. As he straightened up, a sleepy little voice broke the silence.
“Daddy… can I have a story?”
Conrad smiled, brushing a hand over her hair.
“Not tonight, kiddo. You’re already half-asleep.”
“Just one. Pleeeease?”
He sighed softly, glancing back at you as you stood beside the door.
“She’s relentless,” he whispered.
You smiled back.
“She gets it from you.”
Gigi’s small voice piped up again, “Please? You and y/n can read it together.”
At that, Conrad’s resistance melted completely.
“Alright,” he murmured, shaking his head fondly, “One story.”
You and Conrad sat on either side of Gigi’s bed, the soft lamplight washing the room in gold. Gigi snuggled down, her eyes fluttering as you took turns reading. Your voice blended with Conrad’s, slow and gentle and by the time you reached the last page, her breathing had evened out once more. She was sound asleep, one hand still resting in yours.
Conrad closed the book quietly and you both stayed there for a moment, watching her.
“She’s something special,” you whispered.
“She is,” he agreed softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face, “So are you.”
Your chest tightened with warmth as you followed him out of the room, closing the door quietly behind you.
⸻
Back in the living room, you both sank into the couch, the quiet of the house wrapping around you. Conrad slipped an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him without a word.
“It was a good day,” you said softly.
He smiled against your hair.
“Gigi had the best time and so did I.”
You tilted your head, meeting his gaze.
“You?”
He nodded, his eyes warm and steady.
“Being with you… it just feels right.”
Your heart fluttered at the tenderness in his tone.
Then, he asked gently, “Do you think you’d ever want kids of your own someday?”
You were surprised by the question but touched by the softness behind it.
“Yes,” you said quietly, “Someday, I think I would.”
His hand found yours, fingers intertwining.
“Good,” he said giving your hand a gentle squeeze, “Because… I think I’d like that too. When the time is right.”
You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder.
“One day,” you whispered.
He pressed a kiss to your temple, lingering there.
“One day,” he echoed, voice low and certain.
The room fell into a comfortable hush. Outside, the night hummed softly through the window. You closed your eyes, the warmth of Conrad beside you, the echo of Gigi’s laughter still in your heart.
For the first time in a long while, the future didn’t feel far away. It felt close, sweet and full of promise. You were already living a piece of it.
What happens when the love of your life loses the one that he loved?
The one he built a home with.
The one he had a child with.
What do you do when the love of your life loses the love of his life?
It wasn’t something she had planned. To fall in love with him. It was slow. Gradual. Like the morning sun rising on a summer’s day. There was a time when she was oblivious to it all. The way he’d smile. How his face lit up when he saw her. How his body relaxed when she entered his space. She was oblivious to it all until she wasn’t. Sometimes she wishes she still was because it didn’t matter how many times she told herself this was wrong; it felt right.
It wasn’t intentional. She didn’t plan it. Mostly, she would call it a coincidence. How she would end up in the hospital with an injury or wound. How he would be the one to supervise her care. Sometimes she would be coming in for check ups and he’d just appear. Like he knew she’d be there.
She knew too much already. Short snippets from his friends of how he lost Nic. How he was left a widow, single father and mourning lover all in one night. She never brought it up. Neither did he. Gigi was his constant now. His sun. The anchor that kept him standing. The person who pulled him home. She adored Gigi. A wonderful child with an intelligent mind far beyond her years.
‘She got that from Nic’.
He told her that once when they were both sharing a coffee in the hospital cafe. She had come in to visit a friend who was going into surgery. He happened to be going on a break. It was natural. Smooth. Every time they met, it was like tieing a new knot to the invisibile string that kept pulling them closer together.
She had met all his friends. He had met some of hers. They became each others’ friends and at times she found that they all ended up at the same places: the local bar in town, sometimes restuarants and even at parties for their fellow friends.
It was all a coincidence after all because the love of her life had lost the love of his life. She had no intention of stepping her foot into something that was not hers. A life that did not belong to her. A man that she adored and his daughter who came to adore her.
After all, what do you do when the love of your life loses the love of his life?
You love him from afar even if it breaks your very soul.
A/N: This isn’t a request, I just had to post the fluffiest prompt I could after s4. Also, the umbrella’s characterisation in this is very s1 inspired.
Masterlist
Luther Hargreeves
-Luther is immediately very flustered, you’d think he just stumbled out of the middle ages with how concerned about propriety he is in this situation, and he can barely form a coherent sentence
-He offers to take the floor, but if you do the same and/or insist on sharing he’ll quickly compromise on the latter if for no other reason than not wanting to disagree with you, but that decision has his heart racing a mile a minute
-He feels very self-conscious about taking up most of the bed, so any reassurance from you that you’re comfortable, or better yet, like his closeness absolutely melts him
-He stays half awake all night, too afraid of doing something embarrassing in his sleep to get any proper rest, but his contentment to just enjoy your nearness still makes it one of the best nights of his life
-Since he was already awake (and he’s a total sweetheart) he gets up early to scavenge you two up a breakfast in the morning, enjoying this slice of domesticity with you a little longer
Diego Hargreeves
-Diego says he’ll take the floor, but if you even slightly question that choice he gets embarrassed and defensive, suggesting you two share the bed just to prove that he ‘doesn’t care’
-Obviously he does care, outwardly he keeps his cool, but on the inside he’s swarming with butterflies like he’s a teenager
-As much as he tries to appear aloof, he’s actually being so considerate, checking if you’re comfortable more than once and making sure he isn’t touching you at all
-He’s not the easiest sleeper, tense and alert, and at first lying next to his crush doesn’t exactly help, but as the two of you talk and banter a little, the tension starts to defuse and he actually finds your presence very soothing
-He’s the type to get cuddly in his sleep, much to his shame and annoyance in the morning, he doesn’t let himself enjoy the amazing feeling of holding you in his arms for even a full minute before he’s scrambling back to his side of the bed and pretending to be asleep
Allison Hargreeves
-Allison can be a grown up about this, there’s only one bed, why wouldn’t you share it? She’s not indifferent but she doesn’t overanalyse the situation either
-She gladly embraces the domesticity of the scenario though, drawing out her nightly routine, and getting chattier than usual, trying to savor this experience that she’s wanted for so long
-She’s also trying to make sure you feel at ease too, figuring if you do feel awkward, that’ll fade as the two of you talk and unwind
-She is prone to nightmares, so don’t be surprised if you’re startled awake in the middle of the night and put in the unenviable position of trying to ease her, but she for one is very glad that it’s you she wakes up to
-Speaking of waking up, sunrise is the peak of this experience for her, feeling yours and her tangled limbs, seeing how peaceful you look while you sleep, it's the kind of moment she understands the importance of cherishing
Klaus Hargreeves
-Klaus suggests sharing, he’s slept under way more awkward circumstances next to people he’s felt way more uncomfortable around, it’s really no big deal
-He has to remind himself to keep his thoughts PG a couple of times and can’t get through the night without making at least one innuendo but overall he is respectful and won't likely make you uncomfortable
-Though he can keep his thoughts clean it's harder to keep them platonic, the longing he feels being so close to you is nearly overwhelming and he wishes so badly that the context was different
-With you by his side he sleeps more peacefully than he has in… ever, it actually kind of amazes him
-He's in no rush to leave your side in the morning, the sleep clouding his brain making him all too willing to forget his reservations and cuddle up to you for as long as you'll have him
Viktor Hargreeves
-Ever the gentleman, Viktor immediately offers to take the floor, but he feels quite heart-warmed by you insisting on sharing
-Even platonically the intimacy of sharing a bed means so much to someone as affectionate starved as him, but with the added context of you being his crush this experience feels like a mini miracle
-He's pretty nervous though, triple checking that you're okay with this and minimizing his own space as much as possible when he gets into bed
-He relaxes with some reassurance and the two of you quickly get comfortable, starting up a random conversation that's meant to segway into sleep but could keep you talking all night if you're not careful
-As opposed to the anxious start to the night, waking up next to each other feels like the most natural thing in the world
Lila Pitts
-Lila's thrilled, she doesn’t immediately suggest sharing but she makes it clear she’s not sleeping on the floor and is all too happy to accommodate you if you won't either
-If you do try to give her the bed and take the floor though she stops playing coy and basically tells you to grow up and share with her, insisting it’s no big deal
-But to her it is a big deal, honestly she can't believe she didn't plan this herself it's that perfect, she can barely fight back an unending smile
-Though keeping things sfw she does lay the flirting on thicker than usual and pays close attention to how you react to that and the situation you're in throughout the night
-As bold as she is she isn't actually used to this kind of closeness and the intimacy of sleeping next to her crush does start making her slightly nervous, but luckily your presence has a way of making her feel better
Ben Hargreeves
-Ben’s not exactly a go with the flow type, if you’re put in a position where there’s meant to be two beds and there’s only one, he’s gonna try to get his other bed
-Ands it’s only after all his demands fall on deaf ears that he even registers the implications of sharing the one, nervousness quickly sets in but he tries not to show it, avoiding looking at you and giving his usual sass
-He does offer you the bed, sounding more begrudging than he actually is, it’s actually his preferred solution, cause as spoiled as he acts he could never sleep comfortably at your expense
-But of course you insist on sharing and as soon as he’s laying next to you, he confirms what a bad idea this was, he’s just as flustered as he feared he would be, maybe more so
-He pretends to fall asleep as soon as possible so you won’t catch on to how he’s feeling, but actually he’s awake and on edge for hours
Sloane Hargreeves
-Sloane has encountered this scenario in more than one romance novel before, so her brain just goes wild with the possibilities
-You’re the one to suggest sharing the bed, and it absolutely melts her heart, it's sweet and it's a relief to know you're comfortable being this close to her
-She always has a hard time hiding her crush on you, but she’s never been so flustered before, the butterflies in her stomach verge on painful
-But she's also giddy and her contagious enthusiasm guarantees the two of you will have a good night, your energy is half 'slumber party' and half 'married couple's nightly routine'
-The experience is wonderful for not just Sloane but you as well, because even if you didn't have a crush on her before, spending a night with her surely makes you realize you want to spend many more with her
A Little Push - Part I (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Summary: Emily Prentiss is good at her job and at reading her team. That’s how she painfully sees how you and Spencer waltz around each other for months now. Maybe a little push will help you both to confess how in love you are. But maybe things don’t go as smoothly as she wanted.
Word Count: 4.8k
Warnings: Fluff/Angst. Age gap (Spencer is 38, and Reader is barely 30). They are idiots in love. It turns angsty, but it will have a happy ending.
A/N: I write this to help my writing block go away. I wanted to be a one-shot, and it turned out longer than I thought, so I split it into two parts.
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Wisdom. A lot of. It is one of the many assets Emily Prentiss has developed throughout her career working with law enforcement. She will say it's not that big of a deal, and part of the perks that come with the job, but the truth is that, with years passing, many people have to thank her for her ability to read the room and act on it.
Now, as the BAU unit chief, those attributes come in handy on a variety of fronts. Some of the most complex tasks, like keeping her team safe from harm while they do their job, and the most domestic, like deciding when would be the best way to throw Penelope a secret birthday party.
That said, Emily has recently found herself in a difficult position regarding how to proceed with the love blindness of two of her team members: you and Spencer Reid.
Yes. Love. Because if there's one thing Emily is sure of, it is that you and Spencer love each other, even if the only ones not realizing it yet are you both.
Or perhaps you do realize it, but opt to silence the truth behind the veil of a beautiful friendship, one that blossomed when you joined the team a year ago. Emily is sure she's never seen Spencer so comfortable with someone in so short a time. She doesn't blame him at all, because if anyone could have connected with Spencer and his personality, it was you.
And while Emily knows that interceding would be unprofessional, not doing so only prolongs the agony of a team—and her own, for that matter—already fed up with your mutual pinning.
It's funny, Emily thinks, as she looks out of her office window at you, hunched over Spencer's desk, while he tries to perform one of his magic tricks based on the laws of physics.
If her memory serves her right, Emily is confident Spencer hasn't pulled that trick in at least a decade. And that reminds her how much has happened in that time. Emily knows it. Spencer Reid is no longer the same person he was back then. He carries a heavy burden of traumas and difficult moments: Hankel, Gideon's death, his mother's illness, Maeve's death, Morgan's departure, Hotch's abrupt exit, Cat Adams, and the three months in Milburn. Yes, the young Spencer is long gone, replaced by a quieter and more withdrawn one.
But seeing him now, focused on showing you something as simple - yet specifically him - as a magic trick, tells Emily that despite everything, a part of the Spencer she knew so long ago is still there, and that you're the one who brought him back to the surface. Another piece of evidence to rest her case, Emily thinks.
Of course, none of this was planned. When Spencer was imprisoned and then released, the team was also profoundly affected by the situation. Fresh perspectives were needed to refocus the team's job. It wasn't that Spencer's situation wasn't serious. Emily knew everyone was very focused on him and how he was readjusting to work. But that kind of attention wasn't something Spencer wanted. So she decided to hire you.
A couple of years younger than the rest of the team and even than Spencer himself, you brought new energy and a passion for making the world a better place by saving lives. Emily saw in you something she felt she had lost over the years, and that was precisely what the BAU needed.
In your very first case, you showed that your impetuousness - or recklessness, Emily had told you - could easily end with you heavily injured on the field, something Emily wasn't about to let happen. Hence, her executive decision: Spencer would be your mentor. A kind of natural regulator, someone from whom you could learn.
Secretly, Emily also hoped that Spencer could learn a thing or two from you.
And so the bond between you was born. Over time, the mentor-pupil relationship evolved into a deep friendship and mutual care. Spencer wasn't just there to counterbalance your excessive energy and stubbornness; he also began to draw strength from your commitment and sense of humor and your ability to bring out the best in people, even in himself—something he thought was impossible these days.
Emily quickly realized everything between you two was all in the details. The mornings when Spencer brought you coffee, having memorized your order perfectly. Or the times you worried about whether he'd eaten something more substantial than a protein bar.
The way Spencer always managed to come to your defense when Emily lectured you, or how you scolded the rest of the team when they interrupted Spencer in the middle of one of his usual random rants.
It was all there.
To an outsider, it might have seemed like you were two coworkers becoming close friends. But Emily knew better. No, the way Spencer looks at you when you're interviewing witnesses or when you're exposing a theory during a case—no, that's not the look of a colleague or a friend. And the way you look at him when Spencer arrives at the bullpen in the mornings or when he's explaining his point of view in the jet as you guys are heading to a case—no, that's not the look of a friend or someone who simply admires their colleague.
Now, even if you both had already realized the same thing, why wouldn't you do something about it?
Emily has her theory.
It's not simply blindness. Your unit chief would call it selective denial. And the thing is, Spencer and his self-esteem have always been at war. Of course, someone like you could never have romantic feelings for someone like him. Not when he's been so badly hurt by life. He knows that the important people who come into his life end up abandoning him in one way or another. He doesn't want it to happen to you, which is why he doesn't let his true feelings surface.
And what about you? Well, Emily privately calls you a higher master of functional self-sabotage and overcompensation.
As the youngest on the team, you always give your all, even if it means silencing your inner self and your own needs. You have a strong sense of companionship, but that can backfire because you'll always put your teammates' and victims' well-being before your own.
How does that relate to Spencer? Well, of course, you've made his well-being and comfort your goal, assuming he'll seek love from someone at his level of maturity and intellect. And it's not that you think you're intellectually inferior, but you don't have an IQ of 187, for goodness' sake! For you, that's enough to play the safe card of friendship. You've even encouraged him to go on dates to show him that he's someone who can be loved and that there are people out there waiting for someone like him. People like you, if you were sincere. But, conveniently, you tend to omit that last part.
It goes without saying that all those dates were a failure. Spencer only agreed to go on them because you asked him to. In any other situation, he would have refused.
But if there's one thing Spencer has realized over time, it's that he can't say no to you.
Still distracted by watching you laugh at Spencer's failed attempt to launch the plastic tube with a defined trajectory, Emily doesn't notice Rossi entering the office.
"It's infuriating, isn't it?" The old man speaks his mind, eyes on the same scene Emily is watching, and she doesn't have a choice but to chuckle at the obvious.
"I was going to settle with 'frustrating,' but I guess you reached another level."
"Are we going to do something about it?" Rossi asks, now with a resolutive stance. Emily arches an eyebrow. "What happened with the 'they'll figure it out eventually,' uh?"
Rossi scoffs at Emily's teasing tone.
"After all these months? I think we passed that already."
"What are you suggesting? Lock them in a closet 24 hours straight?"
Rossi hums. "Twenty years ago, it would have worked," the man shrugs nonchalantly. Emily stifles a laugh. "Good thing you are not the unit chief." Rossi doesn't even bother with the remark.
"Yes. Good thing. It means it is your problem to solve, doesn't it?"
Strictly speaking, it doesn't. But by now, Emily considers your and Spencer's situation a challenge that requires perseverance and mental skill in full display. And Emily Prentiss has never run away from a challenge.
"I didn't know my job description contained cupid assignments," Emily scoffs.
Rossi returns a mischievous glance. "I guess it is now."
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Reader's POV
One interesting but exhausting thing about my job is that, more often than not, we have to travel thousands of miles to remote locations to solve cases.
This is one of those cases. This time, the location is a remote town in the southwest. A place I didn't even know existed on the map.
"Okay. This is what we're going to do," Emily announces when we're still in the jet. "Rossi and JJ, you are going to the ME, while Luke and Tara will check the last dumpsite. The rest of us will settle in the police precinct."
Half an hour later, we - Spencer, Emily, and I - walk into the police station.
The precinct is crowded with officers coming and going. Does this small town really have a police force this numerous?
Or my face has subtitles, or Spencer really knows me well, because before I can open my mouth, he leans and whispers.
"Contrary to the common belief, this county has doubled its population in the past five years. The industrial leverage has grown around here, and people have been coming for better jobs. Hence, the additional police force."
I can't help the scoff escaping my mouth. "And look how good they are doing these days." The comment was meant for only Spencer to hear, but Emily catches it and glares at me.
Shit.
Spencer purses his lips, trying to conceal a smirk. And the only thing I can think of doing is pulling a face, mumbling a 'sorry' to try to placate my slip.
Emily is about to say something when two officers approach us.
Saved by the bell.
"You must be from the BAU. I'm Captain Roberts, and this is Officer MacFadden. We're leading the current investigation for what we called you guys."
Roberts looks like the typical policeman who has worked his whole life in the same place and may know everyone in town. MacFadden, on the other hand, is a young officer; I'd guess she's about my age or maybe a little older. But something that undoubtedly characterizes her is her hegemonic beauty: tall, slender, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a confident, self-assured stance.
If I weren't painfully straight, I would entertain the idea of making a move on her.
"Nice to meet you," Emily greets, as she proceeds to introduce Spencer and me. "Later, you'll meet the rest of the team."
I don't usually overanalyze my interactions with colleagues from the police force. But in this case, something about MacFadden makes me more observant than usual.
Could it be the lack of enthusiasm - bordering on apathy - she showed when she shook my hand? Or perhaps the complete mood transformation when her eyes landed on Spencer? I swear I saw her gaze light up and the rest of the world disappear.
No, I must be wrong. I can't infer something like that right away. I'm a good profiler, so I can't draw those kinds of conclusions at first glance.
That's why I let it go and get to work once Emily defines the tasks. This time, I'm assigned to the geographical profile alongside Spencer, while Emily gathers information with Captain Roberts.
Once in a meeting room with whiteboards and maps, we start triangulating information.
"Okay, Dr. Reid. What do you think? Is this guy one who sticks to his comfort zone or tries to avoid it?"
When I first started working with the BAU, I always referred to Spencer as Dr. Reid. After all, Emily designated him as my mentor, so I felt it was only fair to treat him with that respect, even though I started calling everyone else by their names after my first week - boss included.
At first, Spencer didn't make a big deal of it, but when he realized he was the only one I wasn't calling by his name, he insisted I do the same with him.
Eventually, I gave in. And now I only call Spencer Dr. Reid playfully, just to mess with him.
"Why do you think it's a man? And why can't it be more than one?" Spencer retorts, looking at me with curiosity.
"Well. First of all, this is a work made by a messy alpha. An alpha woman tends not to do the dirty work or do it without making a mess, so the odds lean toward a man. Secondly, alpha males have an ego bigger than their brains, so it's unlikely they can work with another alpha, and the evidence can rule out the existence of a submissive partner. But lastly, and more importantly, men sucks in general. So, I go for a man."
"Very scientific of you, especially the last part," he teases, with an amused laugh.
Oh, how much I love to do that. Making Spencer smile or laugh gives me life.
"I'm not just a pretty face, you know?"
"Oh, I'm aware of that."
We both stare at each other, smiling. It's like a natural reaction after some bantering between us. But the moment is broken when Officer MacFadden makes her presence known.
"I'm sorry for interrupting. But Agent Prentiss told me Dr. Reid could help me with something?" She looks at Spencer, who now turns his attention to her.
"Yes? Uh. Sure. What would it be?"
Polite Spencer never disappoints. He's always so willing to help and share his knowledge. It warms my heart every time, but people take advantage of him because of it. Spencer has always assured me he doesn't mind, but still.
But wait. MacFadden is smiling cheekily in return. Why is she doing that?
"Can I show you? It's about some files at my desk that can be helpful to the case."
Her desk, uh. I wonder why she didn't bring them here.
I know, probably means nothing. But that look in Officer MacFadden's eyes? She is flirting.
"Oh. Okay. Uhm, I'll be right back." Spencer's voice brings me back to him.
"Yeah, sure." I shrug, a tight-lipped smile on my face.
A triumphant Officer MacFadden leads the way to where she came from, Spencer trailing behind.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not upset about seeing people flirting. I'm not one to judge. But something in my stomach feels tight.
Spencer matters more to me than I let on. While I admitted to myself a while ago that I have feelings for him, I'm sure this isn't going anywhere. It's unfair to both of us for me to nurture a romantic hope. I may be young, but I'm not naive.
I myself have encouraged Spencer to go on dates. I find it impossible to imagine that a human being like him wouldn't be adequately loved.
So, it's best if I don't dwell on it any longer. There's a case to solve, and I need to do my job.
That's why I refocus on the map and the files scattered across the table.
It works. I’m so immersed in work that I don't know exactly how much time has passed, but it must be quite a while. Rossi and JJ came back and shared their findings, and Emily herself returned with Tara and Luke with new leads to check with Garcia. I've made progress on the geographical analysis, and it's pretty clear what profile we're looking for.
And Spencer? He still hasn't fully returned since MacFadden took him earlier. What the hell are they doing anyway?
To avoid getting frustrated, I even dodge looking toward the desk where they are still flipping files.
Emily dispatches the team again for more confirmatory tasks. This time, Luke and JJ are sent to speak with witnesses, while Rossi and Tara review security camera footage from a nearby store. Emily stays behind, checking my progress and triangulating information with Garcia.
My head starts to throb, and the only thing I can think of doing is getting a coffee. I'm not sure if that was the best idea, because before I even reach the kitchen, I see Spencer and MacFadden come out laughing, each with a cup of coffee.
My headache just doubled in intensity. Luckily, they don't notice me. I don't want to look like a puppy that's just been kicked.
What's happening to me is entirely irrational. I can't be jealous. I have no right to be. But seeing Spencer laugh, and not because of something I said or did, makes my chest tighten. I'm screwed.
I return with my cup of coffee—intentionally blacker than I like it—to continue with my work. Emily looks at me with a furrowed brow.
"Are you okay?"
I look up from my mug. She has that questioning gaze—the one I don't like to be at the end of it.
"Uh. Just a headache." I'm not lying, and I hope it helps my cause.
"And black coffee? Exactly what the doctor ordered."
I shug. "I can't strip my life of the good things for a simple headache."
Emily hums, not entirely convinced, but she lets me off the hook for now.
I really do try to focus on my work. But my eyes instinctively drift to a corner where Spencer is still with MacFadden, checking another pile of files on her desk. I watch as she invades Spencer's personal space, even placing her hand on his arm, and he doesn't seem bothered at all. Funny, considering how he's averse to touch from people.
Surely, as special as he is, Spencer is still a man. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that, and that there is only friendship between us.
"You know, he has always been clueless about flirting. I wouldn't worry that much."
Emily's voice gets me out of my staring.
Shit. My eyes widen, and Emily smirks.
Ladies and gentlemen, Caught in the Act is the name of the movie.
"What? Emily, no-"
I'm about to rant about how she's wrong about her assumptions - even when she's not - but Emily stops me, shaking her head.
"Don't even try to do that. I just know, okay? Perhaps you'd like to continue in denial - which is your decision to make, of course - but you don't need to lie to me. And as a person who has known the genius for a while, you shouldn't be worried."
With cheeks flushed, I avert my gaze from Emily's piercing one. She reads me like an open book, and I was trying to be subtle. What a joke.
"I-I wouldn't say that. Not him. We're colleagues and good friends. That's all."
Emily raises an eyebrow.
"If you say so. And your personal life is not my business, I know. But I have been watching you both, and I'm 100% sure platonical is not a word to define what is going on between you and Spencer."
Like the stubborn person I am, I'm about to protest again.
"You don't have to say it. Again, not my business. Just pay attention to the signs and be honest with him and with yourself. It's not the first time in history that two coworkers have fallen in love, you know?"
My embarrassed groan makes Emily chuckle, and before I can think of a response, she pats my shoulder. "I'm going to check on Luke and Tara. Once Reid comes back, tell him we're ready to deliver the profile." With that, she leaves me there with my mental struggle and the nagging thought of what to do about it.
Biting the inside of my cheek in deep contemplation, I see Officer MacFadden still trying to monopolize Spencer's attention.
But when my gaze falls specifically on him, he's looking at me. And when he notices me looking back, he gives me a warm smile.
Great, my cheeks are burning again.
Could Emily be right about what she said?
No, she's not. It can't be true.
That idea keeps nagging at me. And even though I try to push it to the back of my mind for the sake of work and my own sanity, after a while I find myself replaying the various interactions I've had with Spencer since we met. Call me dramatic, but I need evidence to understand what's really going on and what the hell I'm going to do.
My first instinct is to forget Emily's words and pretend everything's fine. But I can't. The seed has been planted, and I need to know.
The second problem is how the hell do I talk to him? What do I say? How do I say it? Maybe I should wait until we get back to Quantico, because doing it now would be pretty unprofessional. Yes, it's better to wait.
And just when I really feel like my decision is final and I made peace with it, the world manages to conspire against me.
It's late, and Emily has already sent the team back to the hotel for the night. At the same time, she asks Tara to join her for a cigarette and to get some coffee, leaving Spencer and me alone in the room for the first time since this morning.
"I don't think we'll find anything if we don't expand the area on the map. I believe the unsub has more than one hunting territory. If we could identify at least one more, we could mark an intersection point where the chances of finding him would be higher. At least I think we should mark the places where the victims not only work or live, but also places that are different from their usual routines. What do you think?"
My eyes are fixed on a file, while my mind is still in my predicament, so absorbed that I don't realize Spencer has asked me a question until he repeats my name to get my attention.
"Uhm?" I mumble, still distracted, but now looking at him. Spencer frowns.
"Are you okay?"
No. I'm not.
"Yes- Yeah. Fine."
Spencer certainly doesn't believe me.
"Are you sure? You've seemed quite distracted today."
No shit, Sherlock
I could lie, say I'm tired and haven't slept well. And even though Spencer might not believe me, he'd eventually let it go. Spencer has never pressured me to tell him things if I'm not ready. But Emily's words echo in my mind: 'be honest with him and with yourself.'
Damn, Emily!
"Actually, uh. There is something I want to talk to you, but - eh, I don't know how."
"Wow, that's a first," Spencer jokes, but when I don't laugh, he schools his features immediately. "Sorry."
I huff in response. "Don't apologize for that. It was a good joke."
"You didn't laugh, though. What's wrong?"
He looks concerned now.
My hands are sweating, and I can feel my heart racing. But I have Spencer's attention; I can't just say nothing.
"Okay, listen. If I'm reading this wrong, it's totally fine. I - I just need to know-" Spencer's curious eyes don't help to calm my nerves.
Am I making a mistake bringing this up?
"Uf. Jeez. You'll think I'm crazy." A nervous chuckle leaves my lips.
"Hey, don't say that. You know you can talk to me," Spencer encourages me. And I want to believe him. I really do.
Okay. Here goes nothing.
"We are friends, right? I mean, as more than colleagues?"
Spencer purses his lips like he's not fully comprehending where I'm heading.
"We are. Of course. We're friends," he assures me with a smile, like that was all the problem.
Okay. Now the big question.
"But- uh, what is happening between us isn't entirely platonic, is it?"
Silence.
Have you ever felt time stand still as anticipation mounts exponentially? Well, that's exactly how I feel right now.
I think I'm two seconds from throwing up, considering Spencer's face has mutated from relaxed to completely unreadable and pale.
I wince and fold into myself, knowing I fucked up. I know I did. And now I can't take it back.
Let me tell you, it's the worst feeling in the world.
"Are you- you mean- like we- what do you mean?"
Great. He's a stuttering mess, and it's my fault. And I know he knows now, but he won't say it unless I do.
There's no escaping from this, so all I can do is try to explain my embarrassing situation and pray that Spencer doesn't run off to find Emily and tell her to fire me because the completely unprofessional little girl fell in love with him, and that can't be tolerated.
"I know it's not right, and I'm sorry I brought it up now. But lately I can't - I can't get you out of my head, and I keep imagining what it would be like to be more than friends."
"You don't want us to be friends anymore?"
Am I not speaking English?
"What? No! Of course I do. I was just thinking—damn. No, that didn't go well."
"Okay? Well, then I don't understand-"
"I like you!"
It was abruptly. And blurted out louder than I expected. That makes the silence that follows more dreary.
"Do-do you like me?"
There is confusion on Spencer's face, as if I'm talking nonsense, and I think I'm going to die from mortification.
"God, Spencer. I thought- fuck. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. But it's okay, you don't have to like me back. Surely you don't. So, can we just forget what I said, please?"
Where's the hole in the floor that can swallow me whole? I don't know what else to say or do. If I had any sliver of hope Spencer liked me, it's all buried now, and I just want to run away from this situation. Why isn't anyone from the team showing up right now? Would it look bad if I just ran?
"Oh"
Yeah, 'oh,' indeed. Is the only thing escaping his lips.
My brain is telling me it's time to run right now, but my body doesn't cooperate.
"I didn't know."
I hate the way Spencer looks at me, like he feels guilty for not feeling the same way I do. He just needs to say it, and that would be the end of it, even if it breaks my heart and crushes what little hope I had left.
"Clearly you don't," I mumble, cheeks burning. Two solid minutes pass, and I still don't know how Spencer feels. I should have known.
"I'm sorry. I - I don't know what to say."
"Spencer, you don't have to say anything. It's my problem, not yours, okay?"
The defeated sigh I let out might be enough to end this conversation, but it seems Spencer disagrees.
"What do you mean?"
Seriously dude? I wonder where that big brain went right now.
"It doesn't matter, okay? I just imagined things. I'm the one who harbored this crush, not you. And honestly? - Well, it wouldn't have worked anyway."
That's something I have always told myself: 'It will not work.' I think it's the way to convince my heart not to get its hopes up.
"It's uh - complicated," Spencer mumbles, an apologetic look in his eyes. So I think he agrees with me.
"Yeah. I know."
The time stretches longer, and I feel so silly. Why did I listen to Emily? I'm totally fucked up and hurt.
With the remaining little pride I still have, I sweep the tears I didn't know were falling.
"Okay. I'll head back to the hotel."
I don't think I have moved this fast before, at least not in any other setting than running after an unsub.
I don't even want to look back. I feel heartbroken and ashamed. Vulnerable and completely exposed. I don't know how I'm going to pull myself together after this.
