╰┈➢ Yaps about my original characters. Also uses Tumblr like a personal diary (literally). Tag yapper.
╰┈➢ No discourse. I'm okay with good faith discussion (I will probably struggle with it a bit following/understanding the conversation), but I don't have the patience for bad faith arguments.
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About:
╰┈➢ Mentally disabled/cognitively impaired. I have a really hard time processing and struggle to understand anything too complex. Some of this is developmental and some of it is just straight brain damage. I don't care to fight my memory to figure out how much is which at this point. Thinking isn't supposed to feel like trying to squeeze your brain through a cheese grater or give you excruciating migraines and it took me way too long to figure that out.
╰┈➢ Physically disabled. Kind of a sporadic mobility aid user. Currently dealing with gout and the subsequent damage in my hip, an unidentified cortisol metabolism disorder, spinal stenosis (spinal epidural lipomatosis), Hashimoto's, chronic muscle spasming, and persistent ankle pain and weakness (this appears to have been related to 20+ years of incorrect gait caused by a since removed bone tumor, but it's a little too soon to tell). My doctor's favorite medical anomaly.
╰┈➢ Neurodivergent. AuDHD. Consider myself schizospec. DID/OSDD/System (I don't think the distinction is actually important).
╰┈➢ Survivor of CIMI, medical neglect, and childhood abuse/neglect. Love the smell of trauma in the morning. Also have a lot of OCD going on, but it's fiiiine.
╰┈➢ Experiences stress induced psychosis. I typically deal with mundane hallucinations regularly. There's a pretty easy to follow escalation I've gotten use to noticing.
╰┈➢ I have been anti-psych since a psychiatrist basically watched me die on the medication he prescribed and told me it was normal. I lived bitch and I survive always with a good dose of spite. ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
This is an oversimplification of how I found myself here at least, not my full view. Tired of living in a society that thinks coercive treatment is okay.
╰┈➢ Idgaf about pro/anti arguments in fandom or the system community. Do not ask me about it.
I know it's more nuanced than this but I think having a hard policy of thinking anyone who genuinely hates one group of queer people for their identity might as well hate all of us and thus I should block any queerphobic queer person I see can do a lot to save you from believing anything exclusionists say.
"bomb that kills all-" "I just don't get bi women bringing their-" "pansexuality isn't a real thing-" "all lesbians-" "trans men really are the men of the-" "theyfabs-" "pfft aroace people are cringe-" "nonbinary people are actually all-" Instant block. Goodbye. Not listening. It's for both solidarity with your fellow queers AND to protect yourself, because once a person is convinced to hate one group for their immutable traits they can be convinced fairly easily to hate another too, and thus I do not trust them.
Just block these people the second they pop up, they aren't your allies and nothing they have to say is worth listening to.
These types will often try to guilt you into defaulting to their judgement by citing their own identities but that's bullshit. You can, should, and must completely ignore them. A bigot is a bigot, and if you wouldn't listen to a cishetperisex one then you shouldn't listen to a queer one either.
wow its really interesting how you can look up literally any condition and it'll say that one of the things you should do to treat it is lose weight. like oh really? always? for every single disorder? that's really interesting, such an interesting coincidence! every condition in the world is caused by being fat? you're sure?
And then you look into the research and find out that fatness is actually just a symptom of the health condition, so weight loss has done jackshit to improve the condition from the beginning.
You learn that fatness is "correlated" with the condition but has no proof of being the cause, like how being poor is "correlated" with ill health because of oppression and lack of healthcare. The number on your bank account doesnt actually cause the ill health, it's the oppression and how society treats poor people that is the cause.
You do even more research and learn that turning a fat person into a thin person is as scientifically possible as climbing mount everest without dying, without a sherpa, and without thousands of dollars. And that constant yo-yo dieting and abusing your body into temporary thinness damages your health. Chasing thinness for 80 years is causing the ill health itself.
You learn how fat people endure a wage gap, starvation, medical abuse and medical neglect that leads to death, are refused access to anorexia recovery resources. You realize how fatphobia intersects with all other forms of oppression and that numerous oppressed groups have high numbers of fat people. You learn how fat people's healthy digestive organs are mutilated by doctors to try to force thinness and only result in vitamin deficiencies, alcoholism, suicide, and other unhealthy shit. You read about the fat people whose deaths are blamed on fatness but actually died by police brutality, by a nurse killing them during Hurricane Katrina to not have to deal with the fat patient during evacuations, by a doctor refusing basic tests and telling the fat person to just lose weight until finally a different doctor five years later does that basic test and has to tell the fat person they had cancer all this time and now only have a week left to live. And yes, all of these examples have happened, are documented, and are just a fraction of the deaths caused by fatphobia.
You keep searching and look at study after study that shows the extreme biases that doctors have against fat patients, biases that affect the healthcare they provide the fat person. You see how sports equipment and exercise clothes are intentionally only made for thin bodies. You learn that fat people are ostracized from sports as early as childhood no matter the fat person's skill level.
You keep digging. You find how fatness is extremely tied to genetics. You read about how the sciences actively refuse to study fat bodies even when fat bodies are donated to science. You look at vaccine trials and realize that not a single fat person was included. You google Plan B and learn that the drug doesnt work well for most fat people because only thin people get considered when making drugs safe for society.
After a while, you go directly to the source and look at weight science research. You realize that almost every single study begins with the conclusion that fatness must be "bad" and "unhealthy," which severely affects the validity and credibility of the study, as well as affecting the results. You find out how every weight loss "success" study is extremely flawed, paid for by weight loss corporations, and intentionally ended after a short amount of time and with a miniscule number of participants because that's the only way to make the study a "success." You find tons of studies that actually show how impossible longterm weight loss is, how there's an "ob*sity paradox" where fat people can actually have better health and longer lifespans than thin people, how dieting is severely damaging to the human body. And yet every study still ends with reassurance that this won't stop weight loss attempts. We just need to find successful ways to lose weight. Surely that's possible. Surely that's helpful. Surely thinness must always be healthy and fatness unhealthy. Both fat and thin people get this health condition that we said is caused by fatness? Doesn't matter, fatness is still the cause!
Never going to be over the doctors who kept telling me my Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension was caused by being overweight (it's clearly a poorly understood autoimmune or endocrine disorder being understudied due to systemic medical fatphobia) when it's uh. Idiopathic. That means we don't know what's causing it. It's in the name, We Don't Know Disorder. Idiopathic. It's idiopathic. That means we don't fucking know.
Reminder that "transwoman" without the space is a transmisogynistic dogwhistle as it's used almost exclusively by hate groups like the "gender critical" movement.
The implication of removing the space is that being trans isn't just one way a woman can be, like being tall or being brunette, but that women who are trans require a whole other noun.
Trans women, tall women, brunette women. Leave the space in; trans is an adjective and trans women are women.
OC checkpoint because I'm curious...
What's the physical trait you like the most on your OC's face? A little detail you love paying attention to when you draw them. Their face just doesn't feel complete until you've added that thing. Tell me
Back when I was in university we were asked to do a brief research exercise on a health condition impacting a community. Can't remember what I wanted to look at now, but it was something to do with the trans community.
Whatever it was, to put it this way, if there were 10 studies on the trans community as a whole, there were 3 on trans women and trans fems and 0 on trans men and trans mascs, and 0 on nonbinary people. All of the mixed studies were also pretty much useless for my purposes as well because they were all so lopsided.
I think I swapped to a bunch of different things - addiction rates, smoking, depression, mental health in general - nothing that was even roughly equal in looking at all of us. Trans men, trans mascs and nonbinary people are so under researched as to be nonexistent.
To keep this brief since I've rambled a bunch - this is a major issue health wise since we have not a lot of literature on what testosterone does to certain bodies. This can lead to major health complications, not because of the testosterone itself, but because there might be an interaction thats missed or a complication that's not noticed (which is the same for any medication that's under researched on certain bodies. This is not me scaring people off of hrt, this is me pointing out its a medication like any other.)
#the therapist who wrote my permission slip for hrt was a trans man#and during that appointment we talked about the erasure of trans men from basically everything#and i talked about an article i had read a week or so earlier about trans people and hiv#it very in depth about risks prevention treatment etc#except that it exclusively referenced trans women with a single sentence at the end basically saying 'oh trans men are at risk too'#less than a year later i saw that same therapist speaking at an hiv organization fundraising event#he talked about how he had just recently been diagnosed with hiv#and had to sit there while this doctor told him all about how the treatment options had never been tested on trans men#none of them#they knew that the treatment would work#but not how effective it would be in comparison to its effectiveness in other demographics#no idea what kind of side effects he might experience#how it would interact with his body and his hormones#what the long term effects would be#nothing#he had to sit there while his doctor told him he would have to be a guinea pig but its not like he has a choice#the only alternative is dying from aids#that whole thing was kind of a wake up call for me#and i started paying more attention getting tested regularly myself and all that sruff you're supposed to do#and over time i befriended the person who did most of my testing#they were also trans masc and we would talk about this kind of stuff#and i told them i wanted to get on prep but every doctor i asked had a wildly different answer on if i even could take it#which verison i could take etc#and they said that only one form of prep has been approved fot trans men but its never actually been tested on trans men#and that one version isnt good for long term use because it has some pretty serious side effects long term#and they said that they regularly go to conferences and meet with representatives from all these drug companies#and they ask 'wheres the data on trans men' 'when are you doing clinical studies on trans men'#and the answer#every single time is: we have not done any studies on trans men and we have no intention to ever do studies on trans men#this is not some passive result of trans masc invisibility it is an active act of erasure that needs to be recognized as an act of violence
every time someone realizes they dont have to pick between being a boy or a girl an angel gets its wings btw. and also extremely loud cheering can be heard in the distance from me specifically
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
how does your oc feel about PDA? is there a difference in how they feel about different kinds of public affection (hugs, kisses, hand holding etc) or is it all the same to them? do they feel differently about others doing it vs doing it themselves? do they feel differently about romantic and platonic displays of affection?
I’m sorry my lovelies but the reason you hate yourself is because you treat you like shit. If you came up to me and then told me I was a fuck up who could never do anything right I'd fucking hate you too.
if you didn't let me go to bed until after midnight because you'd rather watch Netflix than let me rest, and then got mad at me for not being productive the next day I'd be PISSED
Love is a verb! Self love isn’t a warm fuzzy feeling, it is compassion and action in support of yourself!
And yes, this includes having compassion for the bully in your head. Unfortunately that part is also you and deserves as much of your understanding as the rest of you.
This is the real reason why you need to be kind to the bully in your brain too, because that motherfucker is really good at doing a switcheroo when you're not paying attention.
you have to love trans women more than you hate transmisogyny, you have to love jews more than you hate antisemitism, you have to love Black people more than you hate white supremacy, you have to love Indigenous people more than you hate colonialism, you have to love the disabled and mentally ill more than you hate ableism, you have to love. you have to love.
Canines of the Savior @verane-kelly - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
