V e r a

38. Columnist. Adrift. Here for a good time, not a long time.

[veraxlynch-blog]

violentparties‌:

indy was used to the quips about her size, solomon often taking the chance to remind her that she apparently looked like a three year old horror movie villain, but that didn’t make the whole thing any less annoying. rolling her eyes dramatically, she uncrossed her arms, trying to look like she was at least a little bit relaxed. “i don’t need a balloon,” she said, trying to keep her voice neutral despite the fact that she so desperately wanted to be vicious and downright annoying, but since everything with cara, she was trying her best to be softer. even if the other person would have deserved her animosity. “a bag filled with air that’ll either fly away before i’m done with it or pop and scare the shit out of me doesn’t sound like my idea of fun,” she retorted.

“You don’t need a balloon. Alright, alright -- - all you had to do was say so.” Vera grinned into her drink, fully aware that the girl had said as much multiple times. It seemed like an excellent way to get another rise out of someone who was so incredibly upset about being knocked by a balloon, at any rate. As Indy went on to explain just why she didn’t want a balloon, Vera’s curiosity got the better of her, “Seems like quite a negative way to look at the situation. Take one of the Mylar ones. I’ve been trying all morning and those little bastards refuse to pop. There’s probably even one for your sixth birthday in here, too.”

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antiquatcd‌:

“i’ve had plenty of practice,” he refuted, crossing his arms over his chest. “i’ve just been trying to do it less and less these days. it only leads to trouble, and i am not a fan of getting in trouble,” he explained, watching as she sent the balloon floating back towards him. once it had reached him, he sent it flying once again towards her deck. “well, company policy is bullshit - if you don’t mind me saying,” he furrowed his brows. “next time i go to buy some balloons, i’ll be looking towards your competitor - party city.” he shook his head adamantly, “i didn’t even know there would be balloons until i got here! i think i was supposed to meet someone here…” he attempted to recall why he drove down here. it wasn’t like the pier was that close to his home. he couldn’t remember for the life of him. “have you hit anyone else with balloons this afternoon? did anyone come down here before me?”

“You’ve clearly not practiced enough if you think that you weren’t flirting before.” It wasn’t something she was willing to let go. She chomped on her last olive and listened idly at Finn’s admonishment of her company policy, “It’s places like Party City that have made me so strict. It’s hard for a nice mom ‘n pop balloon store out here. I’m sorry, but you’re contributing to the problem.” The balloon he’d sent in her direction was hit back again, lazily drifting in the space between them while Finn contemplated his reasons for being on the dock. “Have I hit anyone else? Yes. But I’ve had more attempts than successes. There were two girls and a neighbor of mine. Also an elderly woman, which was a real cock-up. Still feel a bit bad about that.” Her fingers strummed against the railing as she kicked another balloon aside, “Who would you need to meet at a dock, anyway? Fisherman friends?”

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martymartymarty‌:

“Whatever you want, it’ll be your big moment.“ Marty shook his head, laughing lightly. How’d they wind up on murder again? It didn’t seem to matter much as Marty stepped clumsily out of his shoes, pulling his shirt over his head. Not bothering to bound over the fence with grace, Marty went about it the old fashioned way, one leg over at a time. More or less falling onto the other side without any grace, he saved himself barely by just crashing into the pull. Bubbles escaped him underwater but he quickly realized their stay would be cut short if he carried on crashing about. Reemerging quietly for breath, he was surprised to find she was right. The water managed to be warmer than the night air. The water lapped at his chin, his knees bent to keep him further in the warm water. “Well now I’m just never getting out.” He pointed out, swimming to the edge so he could reach for the bottle. Unscrewing the cap, he offered it to Vera. “Ladies first.”

“Every moment is my big moment, but thank you for the kindness.” Her laughter was diminished by the necessity of being quiet as they snuck into the clubhouse pool. They’d come too far to be outed by her imitation of an amused horse, or whatever the fuck she called her laugh these days. 

Once they were both submerged and Marty had stopped flailing about, Vera sank to her chin and allowed her hands to float beneath her. “I think we’re going to have to stay. There’s no way we’ll get out of here without someone noticing if you’re going to be that loud. Did nobody ever teach you how to be quiet?” Not that she could really talk. Vera opted for the bottle as soon as it came her way, “Thank you very much. What a gentleman.” She, on the other hand, didn’t look to be anything resembling a lady as she took a healthy pull and passed the bottle back over to Marty. 

“We should’ve brought the olives. Maybe the limes. Could’ve left a whole crime scene here for the morning guy to find.” Her hands broke the surface of the water to send a weak wave in his direction at the notion. “I have to admit, I didn’t plan anything after sneaking in here and drinking. As a leader, I think I’ve failed us both.”

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martymartymarty‌:

“If you’re lucky, or unlucky I guess, you could get a sick podcast dedicated to your case. – Wow, fuck you.“ Marty shook his head, laughing. “Good use of your new tool, but I’d knock it out of your hand if the shit wasn’t already all fucked up.” It was refreshing to see that she wasn’t upset at his poor reading skills. “Wha?” He started but she was already dead set on getting in. “It was a member thing. I dunno.” Marty said sheepishly. “At least we brought our own?” He offered. “You jumping it or are you just gonna keep looking at it?”

“I hope they’d do a play on my last name. Can you do me a favor of strangling me to death? I need this to be theatrical as possible. Can you do that for me?” He could make fun of the screen of her phone all he wanted and Vera would refuse to engage. Opening up that can of worms would lead to an inevitable explanation about how she’d managed to wreck the glass in the first place and, truth be told, she genuinely couldn’t remember. 

She was peeling out of her short and shorts as soon as he indicated that he was still game for a late night swim. Once the bottle was safely deposited on the ledge, Vera sank into the depths and submerged herself before popping back up to rub water from her face. “Your turn, then. It’s not even cold, either, so you lucked out.”

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antiquatcd‌:

“if i was blatantly flirting you’d know,” he crossed his arms over his chest, watching the balloon closely. “but, as of right now, i’m out of commission when it comes to flirting. i’ve decided that it’s a pointless art,” he explained, continuing his little monologue. the balloon finally hitting her was a bit satisfactory, he even smiled genuinely now. “it’s not bad at all; thank you for going along with the whole payback thing,” he commended, admiring that she hadn’t just stepped aside. she’d taken the tap of the balloon like a real champion, he thought. this time, instead of grabbing the balloon from the air, he simply hit it to send it back towards her. now they were just playing catch (or air ping pong) with balloons. “are you sure i can’t get some kind of rebate or discount for being charming as hell?” he asked, watching the balloon yet again. “i honestly forget why i came down to the pier in the first place, and it’s all because these stupid balloons have distracted me.”

“I do know,” she paused to sip her martini and search her thoughts, “which is why I called you out.” That was the most polite way to put it, she supposed, and it seemed like an awful waste of time to rile the poor guy up again. “It’s not a pointless art, if you’re good at it. A bit more practice and you might decide you enjoy flirting again.” When a balloon flew in her direction again, Vera batted it back without a second thought. Without anywhere to be or anything to do, she could afford to free up her afternoon in order to poke fun at strangers and pass balloons back and forth. “No rebates. No discounts. No returns. I’m sorry, that’s just company policy.” Seemed fair enough to her. “Maybe you came to the pier because you heard about all of the reasonably priced balloons and just had to have one for yourself. Could that be it?”

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martymartymarty‌:

“That’s fair,“ Marty cocked his head. “Time’s up.“ He managed to say it before laughing. Marvin was a terrible name. That was just beginning to dawn on him too. Apparently the vodka tonic was just starting to seep into his blood & Marty smirked glibly at the prospect. “I thought that was pretty fucking smooth, actually.” Marty admitted without shame as he began to create a new contact & fill in his information. Under address, he typed ‘30 yards to your right’ & handed it back. “All good. All the damning info the police’ll need is in there now. Just in case, y’know, you get murdered.”

“Well… Fuck.“ Walking up the sidewalk, Marty began to notice the plain fact that no lights were on in the clubhouse or over the swimming pool. “Maybe I mixed up the days. It’s Saturday right?” Marty asked, leaning against the fence surrounding the pool. Digging his phone out of his pocket he swiped through his e-mails. “No, it was today. It just - uh, ending like three hours ago.”

“I’m glad to know the police will be able to catch my killer before it ends up on some forum for amateur detectives. You really are a stand up guy-- -” A show was made of looking through her phone, selecting his name and reading it off in halting syllables, “Mar...ty.”

A darkened clubhouse was a disappointment, but that didn’t stop Vera from trekking forward. “I came out to swim and I’m going to swim, party or no party.” The bottle dangling at her side tapped gently against her leg as she turned around, “Are you coming or are you going to go home?” No need to antagonize him before he had chickened out. She could antagonize him for his lack of forethought, however. “Did you even know who was throwing this party? Three hours is a pretty impressive window. We may need to send them a bottle of champagne to make up for it.”

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antiquatcd‌:

“i don’t know where you got the ridiculous idea i was flirting,” he chuckled, an incredulous smile on his lips, “oh, i’m still absolutely angry, i just am giddy at the prospect of your reaction to being hit by the balloon.” finn had never been a volleyball player, so his spike wasn’t great, but it was satisfying seeing the balloon float towards the deck. “it’ll get there, it’s just taking its sweet time,” he said when he realized just how slow the balloon was moving towards her, she could’ve easily avoided it. “you know what, just put it on a tab. i think i’m going to need to stockpile some more balloons so i can try a bit harder to hit you.”

“I don’t think I’ve gotten any sort of idea. You’re just being blatantly obvious.” She decided then that she’d allow him a moment -- - or two, or ten - -- in order to spike a balloon her way. Evidently, the wind had been on her side after the initial toss. Thankfully, the stranger had the social sense to fill the silence by monologuing. By the time that the balloon did hit her face, she’d broken into a manic grin. “There you go. Not so bad, is it? I hope this has shown you some perspective.” If it didn’t, there was another balloon coming his way in order to correct his behavior. “You’re up to a dollar now. No refunds, I”m afraid.”

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antiquatcd‌:

this time, he caught the balloon. surely he wouldn’t let her have the satisfaction of hitting him yet again. a smile turned up from one side of his mouth. “well, that certainly wasn’t an apology,” he laughed bitterly, tossing the balloon up in the air a few times. “well, if you aren’t going to apologize, maybe i should just get even,” he announced nonchalantly, readying himself to spike the balloon back towards the deck of the boat.

“You’ve gone from anger to flirting so quickly. I’m going to get whiplash,” Vera arched a brow in the direction of the balloon that he had attempted to use as a threat. “Please do throw it back. It can rest on the pile that I have in my boat. You still owe me fifty cents for that, by the way, but I can send you an invoice.”

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martymartymarty‌:

“Who else’s names are you hearing?“ Marty asked, laughing. “Are they just shouting them at you as you go by? – Oh, but you remember Randy’s name. No, no I see how it is.“ He shook his head, still chuckling at his own expense. “This one’s gonna be way rougher than Marty,” He warned, glancing over at Vera. “It’s Phykios. Marty Phykios. Very Greek. But I guess I’ll have to be more vigilante. More weary of strangers & what not. The pool though? I mean come on. It’s called having priorities.” As they managed to make it back on land, Marty held out his hand in front of Vera. “Lemme see your phone. I’m not letting you have the excuse of forgetting my shit again just because you have booze-brain.”

“I know people, Marvin. I hear all kinds of names.” He didn’t need to know that most of them were pathetic aliases. “I remember Randy’s name because I want to make sure I have it right when the police inevitably come to question me about his behavior.” 

Vera was the picture of someone who was entirely put out when he revealed the monstrosity that was his last name. There was a y somewhere in the mix, she was sure, but she had given up on placing it long before he held out his hand. “If you wanted me to have your number, you didn’t have to jump through so many hoops.” Her phone was relinquished from her pocket and passed in his direction, “Mind the cracked screen. I’ve got to get that fixed.” Never mind that it was the third screen she had damaged in a two year period. “You’d better not sign me up for some kind of phishing scam, and we’d better be going to the pool. I didn’t plan on getting murdered by my neighbor tonight.”

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Who is your bff

“That isn’t difficult. His name is M...”

“M... arty? Marty.”

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martymartymarty‌:

“Great.” Marty mumbled to himself. Then again, maybe he was just being paranoid. Two dudes holding hands looked for boats together all the time. He was sure of it. They would’ve told him they were coming anyway. Marty let the notion find a slow death amongst the balloons as he let it slip from his brain. “You got it.” He flipped the bottle, caught it & followed. “I think there’s just tw-” Marty had to stop half way through when he realized she’d tripped over his name. “You drank my beer. You borrowed my flip flops. I kicked your balloons. & you still aren’t confident my name is Marty.” Offended or not, he laughed. “It’s like the easiest name in the goddamn world to remember.” He assured her, taking the lead as they walked up the docks. “Unbelievable.”

Great.

That wasn’t the cadence of a man who was excited about anything he had recently heard. Vera was sober enough to file that information away, but something still gnawed at her insides as far as M....arty was concerned. 

He was smart to call her out on her obvious faux pas. Without the chance to craft a careful lie, Vera could only laugh awkwardly and incredulously. “I forgot it,” she admitted. “I hear so many names and I just forgot yours.”

“Now I have a story to attach you to. Marty...” She faltered, knit her brows together and finally asked the obvious question, “Last name? Marty?” It was easier to admit as much when they were walking in the same direction, but she couldn’t imagine she would ever bother to ask someone’s name in any other circumstance. “You should really take this as a lesson about loaning flip flops to strangers. None of us are reliable here on the dock. I’ve been here for months and you’re still showing me how to get to the pool.”

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martymartymarty‌:

Marty nodded along to the list, at least for the first two invitees. The third, however, nearly had him choking on his drink. “Couple?” Marty asked, alarms ringing in his head. Surely not. No. “While I do appreciate being at the top of that list, these two, I’m assuming - were they men?” Marty asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Thinking better of identifying them as tall & loud & brunette & disappointed, Marty joined her in standing. “You think I leave the house in anything but trunks?” Marty asked suspiciously. “Though, I’m not against a bikini if I ever do forget. At least I’ve got the option.” Marty said, snatching a fresh bottle out of the cabinet as instructed.

“Couple,” Vera repeated, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Without the frame of reference, she proceeded as if nothing was out of place. “They were. Men, that is. I have the hardest time placing lesbian couples. Can’t imagine two men holding hands and looking at boats unless they were together.” She muttered something about social stigmas as she disappeared, but the words were lost in a sea of balloons and shuffling. By the time that Vera emerged -- - wearing the same clothes, save for a mis-matched bathing suit - -- she seemed more interested in the party that he had promised. “Well, out we go. Take the bottle and let’s get there before they lock up.” 

“I’m trusting you know where we’re going. I know of several pools, and all of them are equally terrible. You lead the way, M...” A second passed before she caught herself, “Marty.” 

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martymartymarty‌:

“Who else would you invite?“ Marty asked, pondering the same question himself. Randy. Obviously. For the sake of being polite. He was also entertaining so long as he was holding onto something with two hands & not groping after some piece of the female anatomy. “You know, I did here there was some sort of soiree going on at the pool if you’re interested. Cocktails & cookout if I’m remembering correctly. Started at… four I think, but who shows up on time?”

“Randy, since that’s only polite.” They were evidently on the same page, though Vera had no way of knowing as much. “The neighbors. The nice gay couple who looked at your boat a few months ago. Maybe the asshole who yelled at me over the balloons. An eclectic mix of people, I think. You’d be at the top of the list, though.” 

All he had to do was mention the pool and Vera was shakily on her feet. “I can’t believe you’re only telling me this now. We’re five hours late! You’ll have to grab a bottle of something out of the cabinet. I trust you have a swimsuit or should you borrow one of mine?” 

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martymartymarty‌:

“It’s not a bad deal,“ Marty agreed, looking quite taken with the prospects given that the perspiring drink in his hand was enough. “Doesn’t seem worth it.“ He acknowledged, trying to picture her stabbing uselessly with her heel at a dozen balloons. In truth, Marty didn’t have a good reason to be on her dock. A fact, that snuck up on him quite blatantly & quickly. “Been missing them bad.“ He covered smoothly with faux sentimentality & sarcasm. “I’d heard people bitching about having balloons tossed at them is all.” Marty gave a half-hearted shrug before leaning back into the couch. “Now that I know there’s not some party I’m missing out on though - I gotta say I’m relieved.”

It was self-centeredness that made Vera assume Marty was telling the truth when he mentioned that people had bitched about someone throwing balloons. She could call herself a success if her shenanigans had made enough of an impact to be discussed all the way toward his dock. “That would be me,” she beamed, basking in the glow of her accomplishments long enough to take another drink. “There’s not a party yet, but I’m open to suggestions. I certainly have the decorations for it.” 

[veraxlynch-blog]

What could be the worst thing to happen to you this year?

“In the future? I could lose my fingers and be unable to call myself an Uber or finish my novel.”

[veraxlynch-blog]

[veraxlynch-blog]

martymartymarty‌:

Marty made a noise of disappointment. Of all the options, there were no good ones currently shoved into those olives occupying space in her martini glass. “Well, I’ll drink to that,” Marty smiled, lifting his vodka rocks into the air between them. “Really?” Marty asked, incredulously. Seemed harmless enough. It wasn’t a fucking rock. “Surprising,” He said, raising an eyebrow as he followed suit & sank onto the couch. “Wait, when the fuck did you find the balloons? I mean, not that you seem to give fuck about who did it but…” Marty trailed off, lifting his glass forlornly to his lips.

“Really,” Vera reiterated, sounding incredibly put-out by the entire experience. “I thought more people would find it funny, but I’m afraid you’re the only one. I think you made out okay, though. You’ve got the rest of my Tito’s and a balloon to take home. More than anyone else has gotten.” 

Upon being asked how long the balloons had been in her home, Vera screwed her mouth into a tight knot and tilted her head from the left to the right. “Let’s see...” A bit of mental calculating was required to pin down an accurate time, but Vera eventually settled for a broad estimate, “Sometime this afternoon. I was going to try to pop them, but it seemed like such a chore to hunt up scissors and these-- -” A stiletto was lifted into the air and flexed about, “- -- are too nice to stomp around in.”  

“I’d say I’ve offloaded twenty or thirty balloons, though. I hit a man earlier who threw an absolute fit.” A tragedy, really, but one that couldn’t be helped. “It’ll buff out, I suppose. The more important question is what you’re doing on my end of the dock, anyway? Missing those flip flops you left here?”