Misfit ✞oys

We play hard with our plastic guns

[historicalmusicjunkie]

after a few drinks

[veridiansoulwrites]

Allen had just returned to the bar from refilling Azael and Charolette’s drinks when his phone vibrated on the counter.  Tapping on it nonchalantly, Allen sent a response to Lenalee.  

The backdoor is unlocked if you want to come in but… Alright… how do we do this because no matter which way I play it out in my head, it ends poorly for everyone involved. I don’t want to hurt Lavi. I mean, there isn’t a way this won’t hurt him, but if we can reduce how much it hurts him that would be ideal.

Allen paused for a moment, thinking, then sent another text.

The way I see it, either we let Lavi walk in here and see everything point blank or you meet him out front and warn him ahead of time. Honestly, I don’t know which option is better.

On my way in.

Lenalee entered through the backdoor and carefully shut it so that Azael wouldn’t hear the door close. They were probably here at this time because he didn’t expect anyone else they knew to be at the bar. She could see Allen at the bar from this viewpoint, but she stayed behind and continued to text him.

We’re going to have to let him walk in. He won’t believe me if I try to tell him and he won’t trust anyone’s judgement but his own. It’s going to hurt him, but this will be the best way for him. He’ll text me before he comes in and I’ll move out front just so he knows I was involved, but this is something he’ll have to figure out on his own.

[historicalmusicjunkie]

Without A Sound : IPlayYouListen

[veridiansoulwrites]

“Oh, um…” Lenalee stalled for a moment, not shocked at Allen speaking up but more at a loss for what exactly to call Lavi’s music.

“My point exactly,” Kanda said, earning another light hit to his side.

“Lavi’s pretty amazing; he can work in any genre and it sounds good. He can also play a few instruments himself, which is cool, but… overall… I don’t know. It’s hard to express with words. I guess… kind of nostalgic, maybe?  Like, it makes you think of days past or how the years have gone by.  Right now he’s in a kind of synthwave mood, I think.” Lenalee hated how unsure she sounded; it just made Kanda’s points even more glaring.

“Oh, but last year,” A soft, warm smile fell onto Lenalee’s lips as she spoke, “he made me an album for my birthday that I can only describe as the perfect summer album. It was so fun and alive. I kind of wish he would do more like that, but don’t tell him I said that. I like what he’s doing now too.”

Allen took in Lenalee’s words carefully, making sure to pay special attention to her expressions as she talked. She seemed really unsure about everything until she brought up the album that Lavi had made specifically for her. The theme he chose for her made sense, anybody could see that she was the physical form of summer with a smile like that, but maybe that was the thing. Maybe Lavi runs off the rails unless he has something to ground him into a theme. This set would be interesting.

Allen spared a glance at Lavi when she was done talking and watched him finish up his last minute set up. He quickly scribbled a message on his board and smiled at Lenalee.

He fits the venue pretty well then, since this place sees all sorts of stuff. There’s nothing wrong with being diverse.

[historicalmusicjunkie]

Falling into Place

[veridiansoulwrites]

“And I’ll get a fruit tea,” Allen chimed in, his smile and over all demeanor so different from Lavi’s that the barista nearly had to do a double take. “And I’m paying, so don’t let him. And you,” he said, pointing his wallet at Lavi’s chest, “no protesting or complaining. It’s the least I could do for the best friend of a friend. Also consider it a belated welcome to the neighborhood present.”

Everything happened so fast. Lavi was so caught up in worrying about Allen hearing his poisonous order that when he heard Allen speak, he froze. He was just about to protest, but Allen shut him down before he could even start. Lavi just stared at Allen for a moment before he nodded and just took it. There’s no reason to fight people when they’re just trying to be nice.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:Color Me Yours:.

[veridiansoulwrites]

“It was a selfish act, really. I wanted to, no, I needed to know everything about you that everyone else did. I felt like there were years between us that I needed to catch up on.”  They were close now. Very close. If it weren’t for The Collection sitting between them, Allen would be in Lavi’s lap by now. He could  feel Lavi’s breath on his face. “I was missing you before I even knew you.”

“I felt the same way about your tattoos. Your art has pieces of you and I had to look at every single one.” Lavi’s heart stuttered in his chest as he looked at Allen through the miniscule amount of space still keeping them apart. They had been moving closer as if they were magnetic for a while now and they were caught in the tension that always came before they would inevitably be snapped together. “You captivated me before you even wrote a word.” He let out a shaky breath and gave Allen’s hand another small tug. “Come here.”

[historicalmusicjunkie]

prom song (gone wrong){veridiansoulwrites}

[veridiansoulwrites]

Allen flashed Lavi a glance that fell somewhere between suggestive and annoyed. “Yes, but only because I can’t get this off by myself.  Be gentle with… it as well.” Allen turned around quickly in an attempt to hide the flush that came to his cheeks from almost asking Lavi be gentle with me.

“Aww come on, you ruined my joke Allen.” Lavi pouted, but began undoing the laces on Allen’s dress with careful motions. It wasn’t long before he had the laces completely done and had to grab the dress to keep it from sliding to the floor. Now that they were at this part, Lavi felt mildly nervous. He had seen Allen undress millions of times, but something about actually helping him made it feel different.

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:Neighbor Songs:.

[veridiansoulwrites]

Allen wanted to say more, to say that he needed to mention that Lavi was so nice, so kind, such a good person it made his mind spin and his heart bleed – but he didn’t. He simply gave Lavi a soft smile and said thank you again before turning and heading out of the apartment. Lavi probably took the thank you as a  response to his final statement, which it was, but it was also a response to Lavi in general. Allen could never thank him enough.

The drive to Lenalee and Kanda’s house was short. As they pulled up into the driveway, Lenalee stepped out of the house carrying an impressive amount of alcohol in a box. The second she saw Lavi’s car, she hurried to go put her box down so that she could greet them.

“There goes Lenalee, she’s super excited to meet you.” Lavi smiled brightly at Allen before he slipped out of the vehicle. At that moment, Lenalee came back and excitedly pulled Lavi into a hug. After that, she quickly moved on to greet Allen. She wasn’t sure if he enjoyed hugs, so she just stood a polite distance from him and smiled brightly. Lavi stood nearby, just close enough that Allen wouldn’t feel like he was alone.

“Allen, I’m so glad you could join us! Can I get you anything?”

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:High On You:.

[veridiansoulwrites]

Allen hated waking up. Waking up was supposed to feel good.  It was supposed to be refreshing, soothing, the start of a new day. When Allen woke up he still felt tired. Exhausted. There was a heaviness in his eyelids and a weight in his chest that wanted him to go back to sleep. Too bad the light shining though the window blinds wouldn’t let him.  

Allen blinked twice but didn’t move more than that. He used to toss and turn in the morning, if he didn’t have to get up early, and search for Lavi. When he found him, he’d pull himself close and enjoy simply being with Lavi. Now it was different. Now he was good at waking up quietly, moving silently, and not  waking his bedmate as he went about his morning preparations. Even with the sun seeming too bright and his head pulsing something fierce, Allen could stay quiet. And he did as he slid out of the bed and headed to the bathroom, eager to splash water on his face to wake up and even eagerer to head to the kitchen for a glass of water.  

At least that was plan until his roaming eyes found the glass on his bedside table. Lavi must have left it there, considering Allen didn’t remember it before crashing. It’s funny how one small action can change things. Allen didn’t head to the bathroom. Or the kitchen. He quietly sank down to the floor, with his back against the bed and his shoulder on the dresser and his head on his folded knees.  

Lavi woke slowly despite the itch deep in his skin. The withdrawal symptoms had abated after his hazy binge, but they were beginning to crawl through his veins again. He could feel the ache of a migraine settling in before he even opened his eye. Today was going to be a long day.

When he did find the courage to open his eye and gaze at the ceiling, he turned to take in the other side of the bed. The sheets were strewn across Allen’s side, and if it wasn’t for a bit of his hair being visible over the mattress, Lavi would have never seen him. He shifted slowly as he propped himself to look over the edge at Allen.

“Are you sick? I can get you a garbage can or something if you can’t get up.”

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:Prom Song (Gone Partially Right):.

[veridiansoulwrites]

“That’s probably for the best.  I don’t want a distracted driver.  I also I don’t want you to be flushed the entire night,” Allen commented, sliding into the car and buckling in with a swift motion. That comment was an accident. Allen really did intend on not teasing Lavi tonight. It was just really hard to not tease him when everything set him off so easily.

Lavi shut the door and moved around to the driver’s side, quickly slipping in so he could reply. “Hey, me being flushed would be entirely on you. I’m not making myself blush over here, that’s your own fault.” He smiled as playfully as he could, despite the red tinge to his cheeks still being visible. He slid the key into the ignition and began the drive to prom.

[historicalmusicjunkie]

after a few drinks

[veridiansoulwrites]

“I know, I do too.  Seriously, what the holy fuck?  Lavi is one of the nicest people I know and I know a lot of people!” Allen’s voice must have spiked just a little too much because Azael glanced his way.  Allen, almost frighteningly quickly, laughed and put on the full flush of a smile.  “Alright, alright, apology accepted.  Just text me next time, no need to call me like it’s some emergency.  I trust you’ll get things sorted on your end and I’ll see you soon?  Oh, and I was able to clean up the piano from the other night, so it’s ready for you.”  

The last comment seemed to quell Azael’s nerves and make him think Allen was only talking to Neah.  He just hoped Lenalee would catch on, hang up, and call Lavi without him saying anything to make  Azael flee the scene.  This was… cruel… all things considered, but it kind of seemed needed.  Lavi loved Azael a lot.  He wouldn’t just take their word that Azael was cheating.

Lenalee was just about to reply when Allen suddenly flipped conversations. She was confused for only a second before she quickly said, “See you soon,” and hung up. She dialed Lavi’s phone and tried her best to seem normal, but he caught on to her tone and was worried. She managed to convince him that she was having a really bad day at work and needed some best friend time. To her horror, Lavi almost invited Azael, but she talked him out of it pretty quickly. By the time they hung up, Lenalee was already in the back parking lot and Lavi was on his way. She sent off a quick text to Allen.

Hey, I’m in the back parking lot and Lavi is on his way. 

[historicalmusicjunkie]

Without A Sound : IPlayYouListen

[veridiansoulwrites]

“And there he goes,” Lenalee chimed, mockingly saluting Lavi’s back as he filtered through the growing crowd.

“Look at him.  His set’s a mess and he knows it.”  

Kanda’s comment caused Lenalee’s hand to shoot out and smack him in the stomach.  Not aggressively, but subtly, like a reminder not to say things like that.  Her stern wide-eyed gaze echoed her silent comment.

“You heard him last time.”  

That was true and Lenalee thought it was a fine set.  She’d told Lavi as much but he only gave her a tired smile and mumbled that something was missing.  

“I think his music is great!”

“It’s not about it being great, it’s about everything sounding right together.”

With Lavi gone, Allen turned his attention to taking in Lenalee and Kanda. Lenalee seemed nice, while Kanda seemed like the assholes he used to meet at parties. They weren’t really the type of couple he ever expected to be together. Kanda also didn’t seem like the type to sugarcoat the truth, judging by what he said about Lavi’s set. Needless to say, he was intrigued.

Allen finished off the last of his drink and lazily scrawled a message on his board. After, he raised his hand just enough to draw attention to himself to avoid having to touch either of them. What type of music does Lavi make? This venue has a diverse scene and he didn’t tell me.

[historicalmusicjunkie]

Falling into Place

[veridiansoulwrites]

“I tend not to be much of a coffee person.  I really like tea though, so I’ll give it a try.  Thanks.”  Allen smiled.  Really smiled.  Bright and bold.  He didn’t want to seem like he was trying too hard but he also could practically see the walls Lavi built up around himself.  A little pressure was probably needed.  

“You’re fairly new here right?  I think that’s what Lenalee mentioned to me way back.  She told me a very dear friend of hers from her ‘youth and glory days,” Allen made quotes with his fingers to signify he was using Lenalee’s own expression, “was moving to the city.”

“I hope you like it.” Lavi glanced at the cash register and felt his anxiety spike. He was so close to the front and absolutely dreading ordering the espresso shots in front of Allen, but he physically needed them to survive. Before he could think too hard on it, Allen reeled him back into conversation. “Ah, yeah. Lena and I used to live in Boston together.” Hearing the quotes Allen mimicked managed to get Lavi to smile a bit. “We moved here about three weeks before Story started seeing you. It was a pretty last minute move.”

When he next looked up, it was finally his turn. As he walked up to the counter, the barista practically winced. He had been in every day for the last few weeks and his order was practically poison at this rate. “Hi, I’ll take a large black coffee with five espresso shots,” he mumbled, trying not to be too loud in hopes that Allen wouldn’t hear him. The barista smiled worriedly, but rung up the order nonetheless.

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:Color Me Yours:.

[veridiansoulwrites]

“Well it’s certainly true but I’ll have to be careful not to let it get to your ego too much. I’ve seen everything you’ve ever posted, I know you do have one.”  Allen grinned, not even caring that he admitted to binging all of Lavi’s content in the months following his discovery that Lavi was his soulmate.  It didn’t matter, Lavi wouldn’t care.  Lavi was perfect like that.  Allen took Lavi’s extended hand with ease but it was more than just his hand that was beckoning to Allen; everything about Lavi was drawing him in.

“I never said I don’t have one, but I’m sure you feed my ego just by being my soulmate. Look at you, you’re gorgeous,” Lavi hummed as he gently pulled Allen closer. “But I didn’t know that you binged my content so thoroughly. I’m glad you did because I also binged all of your tattoo pictures.”

[historicalmusicjunkie]

prom song (gone wrong){veridiansoulwrites}

[veridiansoulwrites]

“Yes, shockingly convenient really.  Almost like we were planning something like this for years but, like, subconsciously,” Allen whispered in reply, walking softly but without much caution.  Allen always knew when someone in the house was  awake and right now it felt like no one was.  No one but him and Lavi and hopefully they wouldn’t be awake for much longer.  Allen couldn’t wait to fall asleep in Lavi’s arms.  It sounded like heaven.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past us.” Lavi laughed and lead the way to Allen’s room. As soon as they passed the threshold, he shut the door and spun Allen into his arms. With his hands on his boyfriend’s hips, Lavi grinned teasingly. “Do I get to undress you this time?”

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:Neighbor Songs:.

[veridiansoulwrites]

“Yeah, thank you.”  It took all of Allen’s effort to not practically sigh in relief at Lavi’s kindness knowing no bounds.  He almost seemed too nice.  It almost made Allen wonder what the catch was but he stopped himself from disgracing his neighbor’s good nature with his idle speculation. “I, um, appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ve got your back, so you don’t have to worry about anything,” Lavi smiled brightly and picked up his keys. He gestured for Allen to leave the apartment first. “Are you ready to go? Also, if you ever want to go home, just let me know.”

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:High On You:.

[veridiansoulwrites]

There was so much Allen wanted to say. So much he wished he could put into words.  So much that lapped at him like waves, wearing him down, down, down.  Doing so much didn’t mean anything when there was no sense of direction, no end goal in sight, no master plan to it all.  Allen was lost.  Completely lost.  Everything was falling away, falling apart, crumbling to dust and getting scattered in the wind.  Allen didn’t know what to do – what he should do or what he wanted to do.

Lavi’s hands touched his face and Allen raised his eyes, fighting through the murk that had been clouding his visions for months.  Lavi looked sad.  And worried.  And kind of frantic.  Allen wondered if this made Lavi want to light up to escape it, like Allen sought escape in running, cleaning, and late night showers.  It wouldn’t surprised him, if he caused Lavi to relapse.  It made sense.  It would prove that they weren’t right for each other, that they couldn’t be together any more.  Not with Allen lying in pieces on the floor, disconnected from the world, lost in himself yet somehow not himself; not with Lavi surrounded with smoke, lost in a dream and at risk of falling deeper and deeper.  But Lavi was changing.  Allen was the one who couldn’t fix himself.  Allen was the one holding them back.

Nothing was in focus.  Allen brought his hands up to Lavi’s, gently running his fingers over the back of Lavi’s knuckles.  

“I’m sorry.”  Allen whispered the words unconsciously and fell back onto the bed, spreading his arms wide on the bed at first then moving them closer to his head, his chest, curling in on himself, his heart burning burning burning away behind his ribcage.  It hurt.  “No, I don’t need anything.”

“Okay. Try to get some sleep, I’ll join you soon.” Lavi took a moment to watch Allen curl up, looking so small and broken before he pulled the covers over Allen’s body. He spared one more glance at the doorway before making his way to the kitchen and finally putting his head in his hands.

Something in Allen’s eyes said that there was a lot he didn’t know. It hurt to know that he caused Allen so much pain and then begged him to stay. He was trying so hard, but they couldn’t go a day without hurting each other anymore. Everytime he looked at Allen he felt shame and regret mix together into an ugly concoction. He couldn’t even remember what it used to feel like being together. They’ve known each other almost as long as Lavi’s known the high of drugs. Maybe things weren’t getting better after all.

With a sigh, he filled a glass with water and brought it back to the bedroom. Lavi left the cup on Allen’s nightstand. He changed clothes and slipped into bed, his gaze landing on the rise and fall of Allen’s body next to his. Could they even fix something as broken as this?

[veridiansoulwrites]

.:Prom Song (Gone Partially Right):.

[veridiansoulwrites]

“Bold of you to assume that we’ll be sleeping tonight,” Allen said, stepping into the car and pausing half way.  “Wait, no, not like that.  I’m just saying that I’ll probably be too excited to sleep, not whatever it sounded like I was implying, which was nothing, I wasn’t implying anything.  Stop looking at me like that.”

As soon as those words left Allen’s mouth, Lavi’s brain immediately short circuited. Thankfully, Allen tried to fix it, but that didn’t stop Lavi’s face from going cherry red all over again. “I’ll forget that you said that,” Lavi laughed out as he motioned for Allen to get the rest of the way into the vehicle. God, this night is going to kill him.

[historicalmusicjunkie]

after a few drinks

[veridiansoulwrites]

“Yes, of course, but Lenalee, keep it down.”  Allen glanced to the corner of the bar and let out a sigh of relief to see that neither of  them had caught on.  “Azael’s pretty on edge, but the girl, I don’t think she has any idea.  I kind of feel bad for her.  But Azael, no way, he deserves to choke.  I cannot believe he would do this to Lavi.  But… doesn’t it make sense?  Or rather, doesn’t it make things make sense?  He’s seemed so distant lately.  I mean, the last few times he’s been here with Lavi, didn’t he seem a little withdrawn to you?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just so angry.” Lenalee sighed and shifted her phone so she could plug it into her car while she drove. “If that’s the case, I feel bad for her too. At least Lavi is the type to not take it out on an innocent bystander. It does make sense though. I thought he was just tired because Lavi is a bit of a handful, but this makese sense. God I feel so bad for Lavi,” Lenalee sighed as she began driving towards the bar.