So earlier today my boyfriend and I were talking about when the gas man was going to come back round to our house and finish the work he was doing for us, we live with two other people and they were both at the house with me during his first visit. I told him he would be coming round in a couple of days and that because of this I was no longer going on the group trip we had planned. He said ok and that if I didn’t go he wouldn’t go and that he’ll stay home with me instead. I told him I would’ve asked him not to go anyway because I didn’t feel comfortable being alone in my house with a stranger. Then something really weird happened that I wasn’t expecting, he got kinda mad or agitated at least and asked me why I was grouping all men together as predators, or something to that effect. I told him I wasn’t and that I just didn’t like the idea of being behind a door with a man, who could definitely overpower me, by myself. I have no idea who this man is, and just because someone said he’s nice doesn’t mean he is. I then went on to tell the story of someone I know who was sexually harassed in these circumstance the only difference being is that that person had been a lifetime friend of the family. How could I be expected to trust someone when people who had trusted someone had the very thing I was afraid of happening happen to them. So the revelation that came out of all this is why did a man who knows the difference between yes and no get upset by the fact I wasn’t comfortable being by myself with someone I didn’t know just because they were a man, 55% of assaults are said to have happened at or near the victims home(I don’t know how true that is but it’s the number that kept popping up). We need to educate people more on what actions can be considered dangerous, he said he didn’t think it was a problem because he’s never had to think like that but unfortunately for the time being at least the men who don’t know what no means are the ones I have to measure everyone else up to if I want to feel even slightly safe. Until all sexual violence stops that’s just the automatic mindset I’m in and trust me it’s been years in the making.
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