[vespabricosa]

"I'M THE ONLY THING EVER ON MY MIND!"

Wharncliffe | 22 | white | TME | she/they

Proud dyke & half-woman. @richardhlm's meaner half & advisor. Introject.

[vespabricosa]

Late night bitching session. I've made it very clear that the fixation on empathy society has especially as of late is beyond fucking stupid, but I think I finally understand what's causing it at least in part.

People are conflating empathy with compassion. When morons on the internet preach about empathy, they're actually speaking about compassion. Compassion is what makes you want to help ease someone's suffering, not empathy.

The definitions of sympathy/empathy/compassion feel like they've gotten mixed up or made synonymous because nobody likes to look up what words mean before they use them. All they are is sympathy is "I'm sorry you feel that way," empathy is "I understand what you're feeling" or just being able to put yourself in another person's shoes, and compassion is "what can I do to help you?" Obviously these are simplified definitions, but you can see how they differ. The only real similarity is that they're responses to someone in pain.

Empathy also just feels easy. It's easy to fake empathy at least on a surface level. Having or preaching about empathy feels like the psychological equivalent to "thoughts and prayers" to me now. A meaningless thing to make you feel like a good person without actually having to get up and do something. Compassion might actually require you to go out of your way to take care of someone, to even (God forbid, I know) inconvenience yourself to make sure someone you care about is okay.

[vespabricosa]

I struggle to feel camaraderie with or even respect particular sections of the queer community because why are so many of you so eager to brownnose and present as "one of the good ones" to cishets who would much rather see your brains splattered across asphalt.

The gay people who "don't make it their whole personality" to appeal to the right, the people who realized they weren't trans so they label themselves "detransitioners" and make it their life mission to strip actual trans people of their rights to autonomy, people who are all too eager to throw neopronoun users, GNC trans people, and others they deem "weird" under the bus and use as a scapegoat because "they're the reason our community isn't taken seriously", other queers who refuse to listen to women (especially trans women) or people of color about issues they face within the community.

You're so fucking pathetic it makes me sick, and you're all either too stupid to realize that or you just don't care. Roll over and show your belly to people who would take the first opportunity they got to stomp you into memory. Just don't be surprised when you don't get a seat at their table like you so obviously want and they instead turn on you. There's no such thing as a "good queer" to the people you're so desperate for the approval of unless that queer is dead.

[vespabricosa]

I'm getting familiar with painting again.

[spiralmindz]

i will never be forced to be in "community" with nazis and pedophiles i dont give a fuck

[spiralmindz]

ppl have been saying this but i really do despise how much radqueer 4chan type bullshit is being spread thru queer tumblr space currently like. what are we fucking doing man. hating lolicons and nazis used to be normal

[a0mu]

Tags from abyssalwyrmwells that I think also sum up my thoughts on this pretty well.

[barking]

also sharing tags from shimejikin

[vespabricosa]

Having a sideblog is kind of bullshit since you can't follow or like without it coming from the main blog. I would like more mutuals but I'm also aware Dick is less than eager to have that. It doesn't feel worth the trouble to set up a completely separate main blog though.

[vespabricosa]

Pride month again. I'm very happy to be a lesbian, to be able to live a lifestyle where I'm not forced to be a man's wife and childbearer. Even if I have no desire to pursue a relationship just being able to reject that role is incredibly freeing.

[xxguerrillaxxoperatorxx]

DEATH GRIPS AT THE FISHBOWL 666. DAVIS, 6/11/11.

[cherrysnax]

we have to ostracize predators and 4channers and racists from all of our communities methinks

[rexalogy]

[vespabricosa]

Having the cunt we used to know offline still following us from account to account has just become pathetic at this point.

[vespabricosa]

Never let anyone tell you being a cruel bitch doesn't give results.

[vespabricosa]

The topic is still on my mind so I want to say I feel like it should be very obvious that when a woman complains about men, she's referring to men as an oppressor class, not every single man as a person. Men benefit from being misogynistic, that's not controversial to say. I don't think she should have to preface every single statement with "not all men" when she discusses her struggles living in an extremely misogynistic society.

The idea of a man in a white supremacist nation is one who sees women as inferior, if not just entirely subhuman. He gets what he wants when he wants it and women never tell him "no". This idea is so deeply ingrained that I would argue most people, if not all, regardless of gender identity grow up with some degree of misogynist mentalities that must be actively unearned. I don't think policing women on how they speak about the men who happily benefit from and perpetuate systemic misogyny is what you should be focusing on.

On the other hand acting like abhorrent behavior some men display is just natural and they can never reform is incredibly harmful. It allows men to get away with whatever they want because "boys will be boys!" while (whether intentionally or not) shifting the blame onto those who expect better. Men are capable of being upstanding and abusive monstrous behavior some display should never be considered how all of them are.

[cryogenic-heat]

[carbonmoth463]

Zone1 - Fake orchestra

[vespabricosa]

The way a good portion of this site's userbase have come to the point of feminist = TERF is fucking infuriating. Yes it is crucial to acknowledge and be aware of transmisogynistic talking points being spread by people who falsely claim to support women, but to see people claiming what should be the most basic feminist talking points like "women don't have to date or center their lives around men" get responses calling them "kind of TERFy :/" is just equating the entire concept of feminism to transmisogyny. It's such a convenient fucking way to get out of even potentially having to acknowledge your own internalized (or in this site's case, very fucking externalized) misogyny.

[vespabricosa]

I didn't realize just how many of our former mutuals were also mutuals with our exes until Dick remade. Fascinating.

[jerseydebil]

Can you please draw a Dedan in a lavish nightgown. Feeling well and proud of himself. After a stressful day. For me.

brother i was built for this. here is dedan unwinding after a long but productive day