Vestibular Migraine

A place to share my thoughts and feelings about dealing with the dizzys

[chamacafeahorrible]

getting into the shower: evil evil evil

being in the shower: there is no past and there is no future, there is just the here and now, i am alone but i am not lonely, i am calm and one with the universe, existence is sublime

getting out of the shower: evil evil evil (wet version)

[who-would-have-thought-it]

[vestibularmigraine]

Whilst not so much migraine related, feeling totally worthless today. Proper bottom of the barrel. Attempting to drown it out with 'August Burns Red' at high volume which is likely to induce a spin but hey.. its the only thing I can do at this point as like me, my words are worthless

[thother]

[redofthehood-deactivated2022070]

For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.

No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morning’s live 3-D reenactment of “Invasion of AstroMonster.” This is what they’d say repeatedly:

“You know! Boys will be boys!” 

“He’s just going through a phase!”

“He’s such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!”

“Oh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!”

“He. Just. Can’t. Help himself!”

I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”

She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.

It was so tempting.

He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.

She had to keep her building safe.

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.

Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.

I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.”

Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning.  How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?

There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasn’t much fun for him, but he did not do it again.

There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You can’t make this stuff up.

Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when he’s older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, “No, I don’t want to. Stop. Leave.”

The “overarching attitudinal characteristic” of abusive men is entitlement

[gettingahealthybody-deactivated]

This is so brilliant. We learn things from socialization process. What our parents, friends and peers do, media and all. I think perhaps rape is because parents think boys will be boys, they bully, fight and destroy things, it’s their characteristics so they don’t bother to stop them. But it manifests in them, knowing or unknowingly, they will just think, because I’m a boy and boys tend to do these, so it doesn’t matter even if the girl hates it, says no, because I’m a boy.

Just reblog this, this message is really powerful. For parents and future parents.

[ami-angelwings]

What’s also interesting, is if you frame this as about spoiling your children, and about spoiled children, people tend to agree and get it. They’ll agree that children whose parents lay down no boundaries for them when they hurt others, who let them have whatever they want at the expense of others, and justify away the harm they do, will probably grow up thinking they can do this to others (usually weaker than them, or they perceive as weaker) as adults.  But if you mention the word “privilege”, “entitlement” or anything relating to gender, everybody freaks the f- out and will deny up, down, back, forth, and sideways that how you raise a child, what you allow them to get away with, or training them that their hurtful behaviour will always be justified, can affect them at all. 

[ozziescribbler]

ALL OF THIS.

Obligatry read FOR EVERYONE

[yencid]

The Problem with ‘Boys Will Be Boys’

[pollariis-blog]

THIS

[badlydrawneverything]

….and on many days, the thought comforts me.

[vestibularmigraine]

Spoonies

I've just stumbled upon this word 'spoonie' and I have no idea what it means. I'm intrigued. Am I a spoonie? Is this what migrainers call themselves? I'm also quite knackered, with a hyper extended elbow.. Something to explore tomorrow.

[vestibularmigraine]

First post. Well, if you’ve found this tumblr then welcome, you are not alone. There’s not a lot of people I know or have found that experience vestibular migraine so I thought I’d get something going to share experiences, thoughts and ideas with the world.

I often feel quite alone in that it is very hard to describe what I’m going through so I just don’t talk about it. I’m learning to live with the condition though am always seeking new ways to limit the inhibitions brought on by vestibular migraine. I’ve found a shift in diet and exercise really helps, along with some mindfulness exercises and minimising exposure to triggers such as loud noises and bright lights.

I’ve had a cough and some sort of chest infection for the past 3 weeks and am at the back end of a 4 day migraine.. I’ll be heading to training tonight for the first time in weeks and am pretty excited, should be good.