MAHARIEL

THIS FREEDOM TASTES LIKE ASHES

[vhenann]

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐌𝐈𝐓.

𝐕𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐍: an independent, selective, and mutually exclusive mahariel from bioware's dragon age

traveling with: @haludh , @orphicmoth , @pirkstein / @bysoleil , @forestgr4ve

by emma, 25, she/they, lesbian

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝 | 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 | 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 

evren mahariel. rogue, focus on archery and dual-wielding. saved connor and isolde. killed branka. chose bhelen as king of the dwarves. destroyed the anvil. sided with the mages. loghain was killed in a duel. crowned anora as queen. convinced alistair to complete the dark ritual. killed the archdemon. became commander of the grey.

general rules apply: don't be a dick, etc etc

[vhenann]

heard the view between villages on tiktok which means i’m crying over evren now

[lolthdevout]

Grant me the screams of their young for song, grant me the helplessness of their males for my satisfaction, grant me the wealth of their houses for my bed. By this unworthy sacrifice I honor you, Queen of Spiders, and beseech of you the strength to destroy my foes.

[ilyukhinas]

olesya ilyukhina. she was hilarious. she could have you laughing your butt off within thirty seconds of meeting you. she just had one of those infectious and jovial personalities. as serious as yao was, ilyukhina was casual. they butted heads about it from time to time, but even yao couldn't resist her charms.

indie. private. selective. by emma.

[ilyukhinas]

olesya ilyukhina. she was hilarious. she could have you laughing your butt off within thirty seconds of meeting you. she just had one of those infectious and jovial personalities. as serious as yao was, ilyukhina was casual. they butted heads about it from time to time, but even yao couldn't resist her charms.

indie. private. selective. by emma.

[vhenann]

also mad forever that b.ioware forgot abt that warden civil war they hinted at at the end of d.ai. they forgot but i didn't. evren's out here telling the first warden to go fuck himself and leading the southern wardens her own damn self

[vhenann]

evren has a big ol' love-hate relationship with the wardens. she loves being a warden but god she wants to punch the first warden's teeth out

[vhenann]

it’s thinking abt evren and the view between villages hours

[vhenann]

yeah

[vhenann]

it’s thinking abt evren hours

[notmorbid]

wild dark shore.

dialogue prompts from wild dark shore by charlotte mcconaghy.

i never loved a place before i came here.

i am very good at 'calm'.

only the living can do harm.

i'm here. i won't leave you.

you get all that from wikipedia?

i'm not so far gone that i don't know it's a lie.

i need you to keep your guard up.

it takes a while for your body to forget.

you won't get those stains out by hand, even with bleach.

i don't like wildcards.

we're only strangers until we're not.

there is a place pain takes you.

i try so hard to be enough, but i never will be.

you're a bit grumpy, huh?

i think i've been pissed off for a while.

everything burns, if it's hot enough.

it was hard to be cheerful, after that.

there's no point in rebuilding. it will go again.

what are you meant to do with kids? protect them, or be honest?

i didn't realize it would be so hard to see.

i'm a conversation-killer. a mood-deflater.

you shouldn't have to be alone.

i had no idea you could be so stupid.

i've never seen another woman's body before.

i don't like losing control.

you can sleep, you know. i'll stay with you.

things affect people in different ways.

show me something i won't see anywhere else in the world.

we'll eat on the couch, like normal people.

are you feeling okay today?

do you have any kids?

the world's not a good place for a child.

it's not a good idea to fall in love. not with people, and not with places.

what was your youthful rebellion?

any rebellion i had was always this quiet anger, always swallowed down.

i'm going to make it. it's not going to kill me.

i sleep better when i have company.

you didn't have to lie.

i'm unraveled, and i don't know how to tie my pieces back together.

i've lost too much, and i am too much lost.

it's not safe here for me anymore.

they fear what i've realized, and they fear me for knowing it.

don't do anything stupid, okay?

i missed you like a limb cut off.

when i think about leaving, i almost can't breathe.

'stubborn' is too small a word for what you are.

i can help. i'm handier than i look.

i like building things.

the worst part is the lack of company, so you can talk, and i'll work.

maybe the truth is more uncomfortable than you'd like to admit.

you'll have a scar.

i wanted to pretend it hadn't happened, for an afternoon.

you just have to keep going, that's all. there's nothing else.

guilt is a heavy thing to carry alone.

what i miss most wasn't anything i expected.

the truth is, i would do anything for you.

i wanted your life to be different.

i like having things to do. i like feeling useful.

it is a skill, figuring out how you feel and articulating it. it's not easy. but i think it's important to try.

i'm not built to be a mother.

i feel like a child playing dress-up.

this can't be happening again.

at some point, you have to choose your own life.

i messed up. i think i mess up all the time.

love expands when it needs to. it adapts. it embraces.

i don't have a good answer. you won't feel comforted by it.

this could be freeing. do you feel freed?

should we not have done that?

i thought i could have died from wanting you so badly.

how come you never had kids?

i had no idea you had such cruelty in you.

here is the nature of life: that we must love things with our whole selves, knowing they will die.

if you want sense from what happened, you'll have to make it yourself.

why did you have kids, if you weren't going to bother keeping them safe?

i have not made myself easy to love.

i've had enough of careful.

this world is a dumpster fire.

this is bad. this is way worse than i realized.

where men go, there is harm.

i have to do better. i have to be better.

i'm not letting _____ anywhere near you. you're safe.

you can tell me. whatever it is, i'll try to understand.

don't be nice to me.

does it always hurt like this?

it gets less painful with time.

a lot of people have fallen under ____'s spell. there's no shame in it.

you can't think about what's getting left behind. there will be time for that later.

this is a very weird time to have that conversation.

if you don't know what to say, listen. okay?

it's really fucking sad it takes loss to know the precise quality of love.

just a little farther now. not long to go.

there is a colder place than this. don't let it find you.

i'll carry you on my back for as long as it takes.

[vhenann]

did u guys know i love evren mahariel so much….

[vhenann]

you will guard them and they will hate you for it. whenever there is not a blight actively crawling over the surface, humanity will do its best to forget how much they need you. and that's good. we need to stand apart from them, even if they have to push us away to make us do it. that is the only way we can ever make the hard decisions

indie / private / selective mahariel from the dragon age franchise. by emma.

[promptshelf]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄.

› prompts from holly black's novel the cruel prince (2018). feel free to tweak as you see fit.

“i hate you because i think of you. often.”

“have i told you how hideous you look tonight?”

“if you hurt me, i wouldn't cry. i would hurt you back.”

“what could i become if i stopped worrying about death, about pain, about anything?”

“instead of being afraid, i could become something to fear.”

“that seems entirely backward.”

“i can be charming. i charmed you, didn’t i?”

“do not expect others to share my depraved tastes.”

“i am going to shame you with my defiance.”

“let me remind you that means you have much to lose and i have nothing.”

“i will make sure you lose everything i can take from you.”

“i promise you this is the least of what i can do.”

“i am what you made me.”

“i have lied and i have betrayed and i have triumphed.”

“because i want to see what you will do.”

“i want to be part of the unfolding of the tale.”

“there’s always something left to lose.”

“i suppose i could love anyone.”

“that’s what comes of hungering for something.”

“you really do want me, and you hate it.”

“i will go as far as there is to go.”

“show your power by appearing powerless.”

“i am tired of caring.”

“i will not even stand in front of misery that you choose for yourself.”

“we don't need to be good. but let's try to be fair.”

“this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“i am weak. i am fragile. i am mortal.”

“i have always been scared, since the day i got here.”

“i live with that fear, let it settle into my bones, and ignore it.”

“only idiots aren’t scared of things that are scary.”

“go ahead. insult me.”

“i do not yearn to be their equal.”

“sharpen your heart.”

“i am coming unraveled. i am coming undone.”

“having stepped off the edge, what i want to do is fall.”

“this isn’t how people show loyalty.”

“what if, when everything else is different, i’m not?”

“whoever controls the king, controls the kingdom.”

“get down here before you’re recognized.”

“maybe being a monster was my calling.”

“there’s safety in being awful.”

[fawnhoards]

Send [ APPROVAL ] + (a decision that your muse is making), and I'll tell you whether the action GAINS approval from my muse, LOSES approval from my muse, or if approval is left UNCHANGED. ♡

[vhenann]

thinking abt them (warden commander evren)

[archivedmunson]

ELORA DANAN POSTOAK reservation dogs — decolonativization

[vhenann]

@hartworn asked : ❛For the first time in my life, I do not know what to do.❜

the  stars  seem  dimmer  here.  the  brecilian  forest  is  far  behind  them,  and  evren  hadn't  known  what  truly  missing  something  could  feel  like  before  this.  how  far  away  is  their  clan?  would  they  ever  get  to  see  them  again?  all  she  sees  is  ostagar  on  the  horizon.

dark  eyes  turn  from  the  stars  to  tamlen  next  to  her.  their  bedrolls  are  right  next  to  each  other,  as  they  have  been  every  night  since  leaving  the  sabrae.  she  reaches  for  their  hand  and  gives  it  a  gentle  squeeze.  "i  don't  either,"  she  whispers  so  duncan  doesn't  hear.  she  doesn't  want  that  stranger  to  overhear  their  private  conversations.  lips  pull  into  a  slight  smile.  "we'll  figure  it  out.  together."