CALLOUT FOR EM @victimsvoice-blog1 - Tumblr Blog

THIS IS A CALLOUT POST FOR EM CURRENTLY AT: @uldredmarked, @circlebroken, @chromeforged, @ajawlinefordays and @hedonistique

Alright, here we go again. I’m sorry everyone has to keep reading all this drama on their dash, I promise this will be the last thing to be posted. However, this will be around for a while, and I deeply encourage you to reblog it as well if you care in the slightless about any of the ones involved on this mess.

I. INTRODUCTION II. THE REASONS BEHIND THIS CALLOUT POST III. CASE 1 IV. CASE 2 V. CASE 3 VI. CONCLUSION

I. INTRODUCTION

First of all, this is not just an answer to a callout made very recently about Rams. I’ve been working on this since the previous callout post was rebblogged, trying to gather those who were comfortable enough to try to rise their voice. The issue will be approached nevertheless, since he’s one of the several who’ve been willing to testify and share their stories in order to make you realise how many you’ve hurt. So lets get to it, shall we? All the skype names of the ones who very kindly took the time to talk to me in private about the issues and problems they went through have been blurred or cut out for privacy and protection. Those names won’t be given out if approached in private either, though the askbox on this blog is open in case there’s any questions you want answered. I will be glad to talk to them myself and explain things further, if necessary. Everything said on this post is extremely specific though, so you may even recognise some of the people who talked. If you do I ask you not to say their names or current urls, for they risk to be abused again. II. THE REASONS BEHIND THIS CALLOUT POST: This whole thing started (or rather got attention) the 24th of december, on Christmas Eve, as Em likes to remind us all on their callout post as well. On it I made an addition (that can still be found here) about how one of my friends had been harassed by Em, who was getting very popular on the Mass Effect fandom, or at least one way or the other always found a way into everyone’s dash. I knew they had been talking a lot of shit about him and I couldn’t keep quiet. They called him toxic, homophobic, transphobic, elitist, and the list goes on. This will be approached more specifically later on. Once Em was asked privately about it she claimed that all the screencaps provided were photoshoped when they actually came from different sources, and not just one person. I also said that I believe they were kicked out of the supernatural fandom because they behaved like this as well.

The very next day they made a reply that I sadly didn’t screencap, because I didn’t believe they would delete. They made their point very clear, saying they were sorry about whatever they’d done to make everyone hate them so much, that they were trying to be a good person, and that they were certainly not kicked out of the supernatural fandom. I made what it was meant to be the last reply (that can still be found here) apologizing because I didn’t have any kind of proof about them being kicked out of that fandom and maybe it was uncalled for to mention it there. However, that didn’t change the fact that my friend had told me he was literally scared he would be bullied again by Em and her clique, just because they have the same verse and character. That didn’t change the fact that I wanted to protect him, I wanted him to feel safe, and I wanted him to have a good time, since we’re all here for that.

So far so good, right? Em could have stopped there. Everyone would have forgotten about it in a couple weeks, gone back to normal. We wouldn’t approach you, and you wouldn’t approach us despite the fact that I had been approached by two other people telling me how they’ve had similar experiences with you.

But that exact same day, Rams got anon hate. What a coincidence, isn’t it? Literally a day after replying to the callout post and saying they’re sorry, this person or/and clique is already sending anon hate. Slow clap for them. Not to say that the only thing Rams did was to reblog a post and make absolutely no comments about it. It was all on me. After asking him if he would be comfortable with me calling them out more directly, I started working on this. Some of the people I’ve talked to didn’t want to be added on this post, and it’s an absolutely respectable position. It’s hard to take a step forward, when the consequences if these people find you are too high. Lets go through the stories that I did get though. I decided to put them untouched and make a comment at the end of each instead of cropping and talking the reader through all of it bit by bit.

III. CASE 1:

This person is not the first and certainly not the only one who’s been pushed and pressured into situations they found extremely uncomfortable by Em. There is little to say, but to point out the obvious here. As long as you don’t complain and do as they demand you’ll be “alright”, but the moment you decide you want to put some distance between you and the group who’s making you feel like you’re not worth it, that make you feel like they’re granting you a favor by talking to you and using you to rant, then the problems get bigger. They team up and make you publicly look like you’re demonizing Em and the clique without reason (Ring a bell to anyone? Is this not the same thing they’re trying to do now?) and the more you struggle and try to defend yourself, the more hate you receive in return. They even make a post about how you don’t like seeing the drama in on their dash when they are the cause of it. Hypocrisy strike one. One person alone can’t do anything, they’re silenced, and the only choice they leave you is to delete your blog. Even blocking and unfollowing would not be enough after all, since the hate and vagueblogging is not something that can easily be stopped. What does everyone usually do when they read various people talking badly of another? If they’re more they assume the majority is right, and the outcome is isolation for the victim. No one believes them no matter how true their words are. This is someone that only wanted to roleplay and have a good time, someone that did nothing wrong, and that doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.

IV. CASE 2:

Lets get something clear here. If an rp partner is getting jealous over someone having other ships apart from them (while they do as well have others, and their preference is not to be singleship) then something is truly wrong. They don’t own you, and they have no right over you. If someone makes you feel guilty in order to have you around, that’s manipulation. And if they engage sexual conversations and or other explicit themes without someone’s consent, that counts as being abusive. And being ignored has consequences over people. You can’t just fool around, use them whenever you want them and leave again without a word. If that’s your definition of friendship you got it very wrong. Then the same story repeats itself. Can you call this a coincidence? Vagueblogging, hate, and turning their life into a living hell. What was their one way of evading reality and having a good time becomes one more thing to be anxious about. They ruin your favorite fadoms, make you feel unwelcome where you once belonged. Once again the people who’ve been their victims are not heard out, and are scared to talk because of the possibility that Em will make them seem like the culprits instead, or get even more hate once again.

Can we pay attention to this for a moment please? Every single one of those messages is horrible, but I would want everyone to keep a close eye on the last one. Not only they wish death upon someone on the previous ones and try to actively chase them out of the fandom, but they disrespect and dehumanize them by calling them an “it”. I need to stress this specially because when we go through their rules we find this:

Direct quote “do not refer to me as it, that is disgusting and i will block you.” Not only this person is treating a human being as an “it”, but they show their level of hypocrisy very clearly. V. CASE 3: (Quick disclaimer: This statement has been equaly cut to ease the reading, but the anonymity was not needed for obvious reasons)

There is little to be said, really. They don’t read people’s rules, which is the one thing you have to do before following anyone, and they assume that the only possible interaction between two characters is romantic or sexual. There’s one other person who told me Em’s only interest is to ship, and if they don’t get the two characters to be involved they will completely lose interest and not talk out of character either. Since they decided not to share for this callout I will not give any other details on it.

Once again, color me surprised, Em makes people feel like they’re not good enough with their comments on anything they’re shown. When you befriend someone and they tell you they have bpd, you should try to keep it in mind before saying anything that could make them feel bad. It’s the 101 of being decent person in general.

And of course the anon hate is not missed this time either. The last message Rams received and its answer can still be read here and the callout post he suposedly deleted can as well be found on his blog, here. They look for any excuses to send something, without taking the time to even check their facts. Even if he’d taken down the callout post, it would still be wrong to send this kind of messages, and calling him coward hiding behind anon is a whole new level of being hypocrite.

As for the hate recieved for playing Cullen as straight, people will basically ask for your head or set your house on fire if you decided to change Dorian’s canon sexuality (who is a gay man for those who don’t follow the DA saga), but as soon as someone plays a canon straight character as what he is instead of changing it, they get hate. I fail to see the logic in that, honestly.

LI: What is the reasoning behind Cullen being only romanceable by a female Inquisitor? Is there any reasoning? DG: Um, that is sort of a larger question. That sort of leads to "Why did we change the system from DA2 to Inquisition?" in terms of DA2 had four characters that were bisexual. Why did we change that? Why was Cullen made straight is more of a question of "Why do we have straight characters?" My answer to that question is because that's where we eventually landed. Some characters have to be straight. Some characters have to be gay. Some characters have to be bisexual. Eventually, once we made that decision, that means there's not going to be these other things. There's a simple answer, which is yeah. That's what we decided.

The full interview with David Gaider, the lead writer for the Dragon Age saga, can be found here. Lets take a moment to appreciate how he never says it was because of the lack of time or anything along those lines. It was a conscious decision. Cullen is, to everyone’s sorrow (sarcasm intended), straight. Again their hate is completely lacking of a solid base, and it’s not that having it would make less wrong sending it, but it would be less embarrassing for Em I suppose.

Then we have the fact that he’s been called a stalker, and used it to make a whole post solely about that. Just in case Em decided to delete the callout like they deleted all the vagueblogging and reply to the previous callout (as they should, or at least change the image with the IP) I made screencaps of all of it. It was a dick move knowing that with the IP you can track someone’s location. They didn’t post his address, but they might as well do it. I did blur the last numbers, but you can all see the whole thing here.

In it they basically say that Rams is a harassing them for visiting their blog so much. A public blog, let me tell you, that anyone can visit. And he explained to you that it’s because of his bpd. He has to check you’re not vagueblogging about him or he gets anxiety attacks, and him doing it does you no harm whatsoever. The conversation bellow proves the point that you jump at the oportunity to talk shit, since he only used the proxy to prove the point. And how can they even complain about him checking the blog, when Em managed to find his Castiel blog, that was private, unpromoted and with barely a couple interactions with close friends? They’re complaining about something they’re doing as well. Again, hypocrisy at its best. I think it’s a word that really defines them. Hypocrite. Just like in the conversation between them (screencaps at the begining of this case) where they tell Rams they’re never get intimidated by any double, to admit a couple minutes later that they were indeed salty and jealous when he came back. And didn’t Em say they tried to stay away from him on the supernatural fandom? Or did they actually “wax poetic” about him back then?

VI. CONCLUSION:

You have to be very blind to ignore the similarities of this three stories. It’s all I could get, but I believe it to be more than enough. I can assure you there are at least three more people who’ve been through the same but did not feel comfortable enough to share. I’m going to list everything Em’s been accused from on this post for those who only read it lightly:

Forcing people into socially uncomfortable situations

Forcing people into uncomfortable conversations

Make people feel bad about things they’re proud of

Ignoring people’s rules

Not respecting people’s pronouns and dehumanizing

Manipulating people to turn against each other for their benefit

Guilting people into being around them

Sending anon hate

Vagueblogging

Discrediting people

So yes, maybe we don’t know each other, but when my friends tell me they’re scared to get online because of someone, I don’t need to. It can be Christmas Eve, someone’s birthday, or the end of the world for all I care. It won’t change a thing. I will do my best to protect them, and make this a better place for them.

None of this people want Em’s apologies. We all just want the same thing. For them to just stop messing with people’s mental health. And for the love of God, stay away. This is not to humiliate anyone, or drag them. This is for self-defense and protection. All they want is for you to stick to your clique, have fun on your little corner, and everything will be fine between us all.

And to those who’re reading this and are not acquaintances of Em, please stay safe or approach them at your own risk. We’re not going to stop anyone from being their friend, nor we want that, but keep in mind that these are the possible outcomes of it. Thank you all for your time.

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