vietnamesedavidlynchfan

i am vietnamese and i love david lynch she/they

[vietnamesedavidlynchfan]

oh maddy 💔

[vietnamesedavidlynchfan]

God is real. My life doesn’t make sense if God isn’t real. I can tell that he really does have a plan for me because it makes no sense for one person to get molested and raped for over a decade, and somehow never manage to have consensual sex or even be legitimately asked on a date. This does not mean the plan involves any of this stopping.

Where people often go wrong is that they think God having a plan for them means God loves them. Sometimes God having a plan means suffering, and he doesn’t make you suffer because he loves you. He doesn’t make you suffer because he wants it to feel better when it gets better, which it won’t. He makes you suffer because he wants you to suffer, and no one knows why he wants you to suffer.

I know God loves other people. I have seen what God’s love looks like. I know what God’s love looks like because it looks like how other people love other people. After all, we were made in his image, and our love was made in his image too. Sometimes God’s love looks like a D1 athlete entering the transfer portal. Sometimes God’s love looks like creative success. God’s love never looks like getting molested in his house.

What people often deny is that sometimes God makes us suffer for reasons no one knows. People deny this because no one likes suffering for no reason. It’s why everyone hates unpaid internships.

But to truly believe in God, and to truly believe he has a plan for you, you must accept that he loves you less than the others. He loves you so little he doesn’t even tell you the reason you’re suffering. The reason is that he doesn’t really love you at all.

God has a plan for me. The plan is that my life will never get better. The fact that my life will never get better is comforting, because I believe in God. God planned for me to believe in God, too.

God has a plan for me. The plan is that God wants me to suffer. The fact that there is a plan at all is comforting, because I am autistic. God planned for me to be autistic too.

I believe in God. I just don’t believe he loves me. It’s like how I know Mars is real, I just don’t live there.

[kafk-a]