[garaks-padded-bra]

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

[dogpuppy]

[ether--net]

[luvbun]

shh.... everyone b quiet

🧸🥞

he's eatin breakfast .

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

anyway. onto better things

[sburbling]

onto better things thursday

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you can domesticate one animal species of your choosing, which do you pick and why? explain your reasoning

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

things I've learned from this post

we act like this site is full of weirdos but actually most of us are basic bitches. 90% of you went with cheetahs, bears, crows, raccoons, hyenas etc

though i was surprised at how quickly moose became a frontrunner

none of you can follow instructions, i specifically said explain your reasoning

the exception being the many, many people who want to weaponize a swarm of ants/termites/wasps/insects with which to attack their enemies. (also bats and crows, for similar purposes.) where are you people getting all these enemies that need swarming. this is not an ethical use of swarms. swarms have rights. commit your own violence

the one wrong answer was the person who said canadian geese, as if they wouldn't turn on us in a hot minute. Jurassic Park situation in the making. they would unionize and start carpet-bombing jet engines on purpose. would bring commercial air travel to its knees overnight. do NOT teach geese new skills, so help me

shout out to that one person who said wolves. buddy i have some fantastic news

a lot of you just want to ride a crocodile/alligator. i worry this would not be comfortable for the crocodile/gator in question. that being said i would love to rub a crocodile's tummy

in conclusion, i would domesticate octopodes and train them to install & perform maintenance on underwater communications cables. also general underwater welding. they have the intelligence to perform complex tasks and honestly i think they'd enjoy it. i would also deploy an elite octopus fleet to sabotage oil rigs.

(my one concern is they would be recruited by the CIA for espionage purposes. given that dolphins, sea lions, belugas etc are already regularly pressed into military service by the U.S./Russian Military, this is a serious concern.)

[glazecake]

[forbiddencronch]

What a wiggly strawberry macaroon !

[gaystation-4]

[soupcowboy]

[milfsisyphus]

i love not saying anything. yayyy silence #MySilence

[13cvet]

[noodles-07]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[gerardwaist]

people b saying things so definitively. like man i think it depends

[mournfulroses]

Sylvia Plath, from a letter featured in The Letters of Sylvia Plath Vol. 1: 1940-1956

[trans-girl-bagel]

I don’t like being referred to as a boy

[elvis-official]

Woah mama I'll give anyone who misgenders you the Elvis Special (a bullet)

[trans-girl-bagel]

This account likely makes the list of “the last accounts I’d ever expect to be anywhere near my blog” but I appreciate it

[elvis-official]

Woah mama I'm one of your mutuals

[trans-girl-bagel]

Please this post can’t become what I’m known for 😭

[winter-depressed-bee]

please let this post be what you be become known for. (can elvis shoot everyone who calls me a boy too?)

[trans-girl-bagel]

I’ll shoot anyone who calls you a boy

[elvis-official]

Don't worry mamas the Elvis Special (a bullet) is ready for anyone who misgenders anyone around the King

[pettydavis]

they need to start making clothes out of material that can clean glasses well again

[sorrrowfull]

[penandinkprincess]

hey. hey, you. person feeling overwhelmed by The Fucking Everything Right Now: go check your library's events page. go sign up for a craft/class/bookclub. go do it. go find something positive to put on your calendar to look forward to as a touchstone of good in the immediate future.

[regularhill]