Her words were simple but the air was too heavy for him to move. If he went to her right now, they both knew where that would lead. Some part of him was always wondering what the point of resisting was and then the other reminded him that he was never going to be sure he as making clear and conscious decisions from between her legs. although in most instances they would be the same none the less. Matthew had been lying to himself for years, and it wasn't until she died that he made room for the truth. He had really only ever loved woman in his life. Sure, there had been other women he had been devoted to and honest with, but if he were ever truly being honest with himself, whatever he felt for them never measured up to the way he felt about Elektra. He might have loved them, but he had always been in love with Elektra. And for most of their time together, he tried avoiding that truth--more to spare himself than anything else. Elektra was the only person to understand the violence curled beneath his skin. Cover it as he might try with words like honor and justice...they were just proverbial masks he used to smother the rage brewing underneath. Matt was a good lawyer because he had an intuitive ability to study the rules and find the cracks in their seams, and he supposed, if he was honest now, he did the same thing with God. He didn't have to lie if he never admitted to himself the truth, and if there was anything Matthew was better at than fighting or talking through a case, it was hiding from himself. After all, if he never had to stare the beast in the mirror for what it was, it was a little like getting away with lying to God. But a sin was a sin, wasn't it? Even if you didn't know you were committing. Or in his case, bargaining. this for that. Matthew took a deep even breath as he loosened his tie and tried to ease the tension from his shoulders, except that didn't necessarily help because the air was blowing in from the heater and he could practically taste her from where he stood at the window.
"are you hungry? i can order something."
What a battle they were locked in. For Elektra, it was a fight against the reckless and wild beast that had taken up residence in her chest. She felt it gnawing at the cage her ribs had grown into, beating against her mind. Relentless, unforgiving, merciless. That's how she was supposed to be. It was how she was trained to be. It wasn't, however, who she wanted to be.
Like a malignant presence, Elektra had affixed herself to Matthew. Matthew, who deserved better. The blonde with the soft eyes, the nurse with the gentle hands. Hell, even the lawyer with the quick wit. Elektra watched them all parade through his apartment and into his bed in her absence. They kept her spot warm until the buzz in her mind crescendoed and she needed him to dull the pain once more.
It wasn't healthy. Elektra knew that, but she had never cared. She desired Matthew, craved him. He could do what no one else could. He quieted her howl and stopped the world. That wasn't to say she was co-dependent. Elektra was more than capable of taking care of herself. No, it wasn't a need. She wanted him. She wanted him to quell her wicked edges and soften her into someone who could be good. Someone who could be more than a hurricane who left nothing but death and destruction in her wake.
The battle was different for Matthew, of course. She could see the war between heaven & hell corded in tense shoulder muscles and the way he held his body. Tightly. Rigidly. This was a man with damnation bearing down on him, and she could see it in the lines of his face. She knew that he could see her battles as well, even if it was through the calloused pads that touched her body like a priest in worship instead of through the eyes. Matthew was the only one who saw her, and Elektra saw him. All of him.
"Why don't we go out?" Her body unfolded from the couch, her pout unseen as she moved to stand behind him. Long arms wrapped around his torso, her head fitting into the nook of his shoulder. "We can't stay in here forever." With him, it would be tempting. Still, Elektra didn't do well caged in. "I'll be good."













