I've been re-reading the Peter Wimsey series lately and in the process I found I was missing a few entries in the series (probably I borrowed them from the library when I originally read them?) and so I decided to fill out the rest of my collection.
This meant that I was subjected to looking at the ways various people have tried to depict Peter Wimsey on the cover of various different editions.
For those unfamiliar, let me briefly run down the things we know about Peter Wimsey's appearance in the books: he's in his 30s or 40s (depending on which book - he starts the series in his early 30s and is in his mid-40s by the end of the series). He has blond hair, slicked back. He wears a monocle. He is an upper-class British gentleman from the 1920s/1930s, and generally dresses the part (hat, three piece suits, carries a cane, etc.) He has a large nose and a long face. He is not what we might call 'conventionally handsome' and is indeed often considered to look somewhat silly. He's a former athlete and is rather slender in build.
Now let's look at some of the covers, which I will rank on a scale of 1-10:
This guy is an extra on Mad Men. Tie is all wrong, no monocle. Bit doughy. At least he has a walking stick I suppose. 4/10
This is Peter Cushing. Seems to be at least 60 years old. No monocle either. 2/10
This isn't terrible. Glasses are wrong and he's a bit too handsome, but ok. (Maybe AI generated? weird candelabra things don't look like a human made them.) Overall though, could definitely be worse. 8/10
Who the fuck is this man??? Wrong on every account other than I guess the clothing. Bunter should make him shave that thing off his lip, too. 0/10
This is Niles from Frasier. I kind of like his hair at least. Is he in hell? In an on-fire building? Generally adequate. 7/10
Points for a general 1920s vibe, they might even just have stolen this from an actual 1920s magazine illustration. Way too handsome, no monocle. 5/10
Again I suspect a stolen magazine illustration (or perhaps catalogue). Which one of these generic guys is even supposed to be Peter? Who knows. 3/10.
I hate this unpleasant gnome of a man. Yet, he does have a monocle, and does look a bit silly. He's just weirdly short and wrinkly. A grudging 5/10, and like 3 of those points are just because they actually did include the monocle.
ASFGSDFGSDFG Art Deco Twunk Peter is killing me!! Who is this high-cheekboned plump-lipped sexyboy, aged 22 at most? -1000/10
This is actually the one I hate least, maybe because they went for a more stylized look. The clothes and build and face seem good (long face, big nose), he has a monocle, he has a hat, he has a walking stick, he looks like he's from the 1920s. I'm going to pronounce this a 10/10 cover!
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