[Â sort of based on the drama my first first love, if anyoneâs watched it ? haha ]
â listen, i donât ⌠i donât care how selfish it is. just know iâve put a lot of thought into it and that me telling this to you now wasnât an easy decision for me to make. â hands shoved deep into his pockets, isaiah hastily continues before the other has a chance to cut him off. any pauses and he knew it would be room for him to second guess himself. â i ââ i donât like losing significance in your life. i donât like that there are things about you and your every day that iâm starting to know less and less about. i donât like that weâre spending less time with each other. ââ and i know how insane this sounds, i thought maybe i was going through some sort of weird, neurotic thing, and i mean, iâm not. or, i guess i am. in a way. âÂ
he gazes at the girl in front of him, the two of them standing in front of her home that they had spent countless hours in ; the two had been practically attached at the hip since they were three. they were closer than family, and he knew how crazy it was that he was going to say what he was about to say. but isaiah was sure of his feelings, and was never the type to hide them ââ so why start now, right ??Â
â i like you. a lot. i like you a lot. i âŚÂ and i think i always have. i know youâre seeing that other guy right now, and i know this timing is shitty, but i just ⌠i had to tell you. â
   she didnât want to hear it. the was a look glinting in his hues that read like bad news sounded. careful but without a sugarcoat. whatever words were to follow the decision to speak them honestly would complicate knots that had already begin to wrap and tangle within one another. perhaps if she hadnât been as distant, this could have been avoided. she should have stopped by the coffee shop on her way home from the night club. but how would she excuse her attire? or the excess of makeup she never wore around him? the look of uncertainty in her hues as she thought back to the men she paraded for to work off her brotherâs debt? there were now things she couldnât tell him. it was easier to stay away from him. she really didnât want to hear it. she tried to interject. eagerly inviting him to come inside to play games, watch a terrible movie, make a mess of her kitchen --- anything. she couldnât fathom the notion of them talking. she didnât want to see that same determined glint flick to disappointment as he lacked recognition of the girl standing in front of him.
   but despite best efforts, he said it. but more than that. something she hadnât been expecting. her eyes grew wide as the words circled her mind. a few months ago she would have jumped for joy, smiled brightly and offered reassurances that the man he saw her with was nothing more than a friend. in that world he would have been. and her eyes and heart would only be set for isaiah. but she was so far from the girl she wanted to be. who he thought she was. the boy he saw her with wasnât her boyfriend, but a fellow member. stuck in the same situation of working in less than conventional circumstances to get by. but it was best he believed that line of events. at least then it wouldnât be her he hates.
   âitâs not true..--â she spoke at last, her eyes looking away from him as she shook her head. eyes closing tightly as she tried to rid her mind of images of them being together. happy. without worry. âmaybe you can take it back? tell me you didnât mean it, that you wanted to make me laugh. then nothing has to change...-- we can go back to being --- just.. you didnât mean to say it. right?â she was pleading now. her eyes glossed with tears, already mourning the relationship they would never have.
areudirty
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass