Kpop theories that are just facts but I can’t legally say are facts because JYP will sue me, drain my bank account, and leave me more poor than I currently am, Part 2:
This opinion mentions the musician Kim Jonghyun of Shinee, his posthumous album, Poet|Artist, as well as his su*c*de. If the latter is triggering to you or bound to cause discomfort or shift in behaviors/thoughts, do not interact or read at your own risk. Thank you.
I rarely get to talk about this because of how sensitive some people may be to the topic but as someone who has attempted su*c*de before and struggles with su*c*dal thoughts, all I can say is: Poet | Artist was a pretty good “Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t” album.
It’s unfortunate that we lost Jonghyun, someone who refreshed and challenged the norms of the K-pop world with his actions and music, but I believe if he had not taken his life, this album would’ve been seen as any other Jonghyun solo album. We’d analyze the lyrics a bit, we’d praise the songs for having deeper meanings than what we normally hear, and we’d continue to say “yeah, that’s Jonghyun for you”, but knowing he has passed, each song hits much deeper.
The title track (Shinin’) sounds like any regular song, it’s a good song to bop to, but knowing he’s gone and hearing the chorus (“Always be with you”), it’s bittersweet to listen to, even if you weren’t a hardcore fan of his. His following tracks, in my personal opinion, detail the harassment and prejudice he’s faced from the world in many forms as well as social media’s affects on daily behavior and attitudes (‘#Hashtag’ and ‘Sightseeing’). And the final track (Before Our Spring) paints a picture of seasonal depression and how pushing through until you reunite with the people you’re accustomed to and familiar with will pull you from that dark place. But this is just my interpretation of the tracks.
I’ve been overthinking and overanalyzing this album ever since his passing simply because, had he attempted but came out fine in the end, we wouldn’t bat an eye, he and the rest of the world can pretend that nothing had happened and he’s the same as always. If he had attempted but managed to be hospitalized or injured in a way that will clearly draw public attention, people will look deeply into this album and understand his frustrations, maybe not do much to ease those frustrations but it’ll be clear the impact it’s had on him. And, with the results of him attempting and succeeding, this album not only let people understand his frustrations and struggles but know the consequences of neglecting his years of openness with his struggles. Even if someone’s mental health isn’t your responsibility to manage to fix, it’s still important to remember that it starts somewhere and he’s always let us know where it began.
Overall, I always thought this album doubled as a su*c*de note in a way but was constructed in a way that no matter how things played out, it’s message wouldn’t change, whether people noticed it or not.
Again, this subject is a sensitive one and when first hearing of his passing, I couldn’t get into a single song with sobbing. But after listening to the songs, analyzing lyrics, and coming to terms with the fact that a piece of what made my life as a K-pop fan so enjoyable was gone, I found some relatability in it all. I felt that, as much as I, other Shawols, and his friends and family didn’t want him to go, this album served to show he went out speaking his mind and truth in the way he always has and knew best. Speculations over someone’s death, especially su*c*de, is so taboo and most times deemed insensitive and rude, but I wanted to express the feelings I’ve had over this album for the past 4 years.
Again, these are all notions and opinions as I know many won’t agree, but as Jonghyun’s birthday is one month away, it’s just one of those days where i think about this album and how it’s a poignant reminder of how thought out someone’s attempts may be and, in the potential months/year(s) it took to create this album, how much he really mulled over his feelings and came to this resolve.
But please remember that even if you feel hopeless or that your mental illnesses are only dragging you down, there are people and resources to help and you are not alone. You’re in a chapter of your life you’ve never experienced and it’s scary, but please don’t cut it short because you’re scared of what the next page will bring. Rewrite the story a million times over until you’ve found the happiest ending for you.
(I won’t be using my usual tags because I feel it’s a bit inappropriate for a post like this)
