“There is more to love than this. Love is more than just a kiss…”
“And will you, bring the thunder in my life and the fire in my eyes? ‘Cause then, there will be days of pleasure and everything far will be so near…” (“Ich kenne nichts” by Xavier Naidoo feat. RZA)
Struggling with several diseases and disabilities, especially since I’m being tortured by the countless symptoms of this goddamn bitch sickness ME/CFS, made me lose my self-esteem and my self-confidence. For the past two years, I was convinced, that the pain as well as my supposedly unstoppable physical and mental decay have taken a toll on my personality. The bold, strong and self-reliant woman and mother, I’ve been before, was gone.
Well, at least, that’s what I thought! Some months ago, I discovered that this woman had not disappeared. On the contrary, she’s still living inside my soul…stubbornly raging at my condition and the confines of my body…and yet, she’s full of hope for better days.
I must admit, that I had some help with this insight. There are friends in my life, who managed to encourage me opening my eyes to see, what’s laying beneath the weak shell of my body. And I found something else. I found love! An unconditional, honest love, which makes me feel so grateful for being alive, no matter how this life might look like, at the moment.
I’ve always fought with intrusive thoughts and self-loathing…but since I am allowed to see myself through the eyes of this special person, there’s something awakening in me, which I’ve never experienced before: Self-acceptance. Slowly but surely, I’m beginning to accept, that I don’t need to be a perfectly shaped, beautiful, studious and healthy woman to be loveable. It seems as if even I - with all my flaws, my traumas, my vulnerabilities and my fears - am worthy of being loved. I couldn’t be more blessed with this realisation…and with the fact, that this special person welcomes my love with open arms in return.
For this breathtaking artwork of Severus and my - undeniably self-inserted - OC Jules I’ve commissioned my friend @hannisimp. Lin, my dear, you’ve done an amazing job with the fulfilment of my ideas. Witnessing Severus and Jules in this intimate and trustful situation makes my heart melt into a puddle. The exchange of their glances is so powerful, so touching…and despite their flaws, there’s a certain knowledge palpable between them: “Ich kenne nichts, das so schön ist wie du!” (= i don't know anything as beautiful as you).
Thank you for making my dream come true in your art, Lin! You’re an incredibly talented artist and a wonderful person. Feel hugged, my dear! 🫂🖤
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