ailem-moved

Now at honeysweetcorvidae.tumblr.com !

[violentsarcasm-archive]

I’ve moved!

I’m keeping this page as an archive and so I can find things, but I’ve switched over here, to honeysweetcorvidae, to clean up a bit and not have to deal with all these people I’ve been following without thinking about it since 2013. luv y’all!

[violentsarcasm-archive]

I’ve moved!

I’m keeping this page as an archive and so I can find things, but I’ve switched over here, to honeysweetcorvidae, to clean up a bit and not have to deal with all these people I’ve been following without thinking about it since 2013. luv y’all!

[violentsarcasm-archive]

I’ve moved!

I’m keeping this page as an archive and so I can find things, but I’ve switched over here, to honeysweetcorvidae, to clean up a bit and not have to deal with all these people I’ve been following without thinking about it since 2013. luv y’all!

[ttazce2017]

TAZ Candlenights Exchange

The smell of the Candlenights bush is in the air, rainbow colored lights hanging from every possible surface and candles in all the windows.

The only thing missing from our quaint fireside are the presents. So grab your pens, your brushes, your harps! Tie all the bows and crumple the tissue paper.

Sign up now for the TAZ Candlenights Exchange!

Please note this exchange is 18+ only. Please read all rules before signing up.

[decadentdeath]

“George Shackled.” 1788. 

The Prince declares: ‘Delightful Slavery! A day, an hour, of such sweet bondage is worth an eternity of celestial happiness!’

[corpse-milf-deactivated20171101]

Me: no heterosexual nonsense

Guillermo Del Torro: this lady fucks a fish man

Me: some heterosexual nonsense

[murdershegoat]

what really bothers me is that channing tatum may look like a thumb, but he’s a really cool dude. like, he’s openly bi and clearly is obsessed with his family and apparently loves fairies and there was that time he helped stan lee off stage bc he’s a gentleman and his favorite disney character is the sentient broom from fantasia and he’s been outspoken about gender equality and stuff and also his wife is hot as hell

but his fanbase is essentially like 40-60 year old women who are like ‘OOOOOOOH ABS MUSCLES DANCE LIL BITCH’ and it’s created this v specific image of channing tatum in the media when in reality his image should be giant fucken nerd in love w his amazing wife

[murdershegoat]

hello i’d just like to publicly apologise for calling channing tatum a thumb at the beginning of this post it’s been bugging me for days and he doesnt deserve that he’s just out there trying to live his best life

[1999gorl]

me after finishing a movie: wow that was rly good!! im amazed

movie critics: trashiest movie ever created; possibly the worst movie of the year; complete disgrace

[wayoffbeat]

alternatively

movie critics: best movie of the year. revolutionary. it’s a cinematic masterpiece

me: what the actual fuck did I just watch

[holyhotpantsbatman3]

My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.

lol.

[vvank3rshim]

I really love these, and I reblog them every single time. Some of you don’t realize how easy it’s to forget to do some of those stuff or how hard they can be some days.

[clinicallydepressedpug]

grocery shopping when ok: I have a list of some items I need and a general idea of what nutrients and food-categories would be useful and I will compare prices and fill up a basket judiciously.

Grocery shopping when depressed: this tea looks nice…I think I need an onion? The general concept of orange juice. I have been here an hour. Everyone thinks I’m stealing. I don’t deserve this tea. The size of the Pacific garbage patch. *leaves store w 3 boxes of mac n cheese, an orange, and some eyeliner* where am I?

[guccimermaid]

i have tears in my eyes they gave him a fucking hat

[mituna]

honestly monty python and the holy grail is just a dnd session w/ really uncooperative players and a dm who worked really hard on a campaign but gave up halfway through

[airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat]

FINE the POLICE arrive and ARREST EVERYBODY go home.

[talesfromthecrypts]

Liking only good characters and 100% completely unproblematic things (which don’t exist) is not a replacement for actually being a good person

[theradioghost]

a family can be a tv chef, a crunchy youth pastor dad, a bellicose carpenter, their boss, a pokemon, an undead pyromaniac, a denim science wizard, the world’s greatest detective, two battle lesbians, a robot ghost, a jellyfish, and death

[wizardjpeg]

let’s talk conversion rates. 

four goofs is equal to a gag. two gags? that’s a bit. and if youve got three bits, well you’ve got yourself a sketch baby

[the-frozen-city]

even if it isn’t, this is a justin mcelroy quote

[sharpnelshell-deactivated201905]

Noir subgenres

- Fantasy noir: Pour another one, Joe. My dragon left me for some clean-shaven cape-wearing foreign hero with an accent so thick you can hear the fake passport in his voice.

- Existential noir: these are mean streets to have an empty life in, kid. Thinkers nurse a hangover from their disgust of life for fifty years then roll over and die. This is how we run things in our city. Play it again, will you.

- Southern Gothic Noir: look at yourself, boy. They’ve got names for people who carry the Bible like that. They’ve got names for everything around here. And if you don’t get it the first time the walls will whisper it back to you.

– Noir Mythology: She was a priestess at some local temple. One of those temple only people who pray for a pint of bourbon and a life insurance go to. And she had a face that meant trouble, make no mistake. But not after Zeus turned her into a cow. Not after Zeus turned her into a cow.

- Noir meta-Shakespeare: Characters like us, Horatio. We weren’t born to grow old and mean. We faff around, we mix a stiff one, and then we die. But when we die, we die hard and we make sure we bring the whole damn city down with us.

- Noir Milton: Heaven looked high class from fifty feet away but from five feet away it looked like the kind of place meant to be seen from fifty feet away. Stay there long enough you get a double pint of Hell’s Bells. Real hell is my business now. Real hell is how I make my nickel.

- Noir William Blake: She was the sort of tiger a bishop would paint crosses on his front door against. You can’t tell anything from tigers like that. She could have had the sheriff in the back room. She could have been making millions. But you could tell she burned bright in all the right places. Oh, dhe burned bright all right.

- Noir Dylan Thomas: Alright, old man. Amateur hour is over. You go down kicking and screaming or you don’t go down at all, you get my meaning?

- Noir Keats: Outside, the Autumn smelled of politics: it asked only for the highest types of men and had nothing to offer them but bleating lambs and the song of crickets. The sort of autumn that shares his smokes and his wife with the maturing sun. “I don’t like Spring,” the kid said. “That’s all right, sonny boy. I ain’t selling it.”

- Noir Edgar Allan Poe: You could tell from the way he sauntered in the bird meant business. He had the kind of beak that could drive a nail through your forehead. Didn’t string more than two words together but he knew all the right ones all the same. He knew which ones stung. “I don’t want no birds in my room,” I said, loud enough for hell to hear. But birds like that don’t just scram. Birds like that stick to you like a bad divorce from a Hollywood diva.

[writernotwaiting]

I will apologize in advance for this comment, because I LOVE THIS POST and I do not wish to profane it, but when I read the Dylan Thomas noir, my brain first read “you go down dicking and screaming,” and I really think that, considering Thomas’s life, it still feels perfectly appropriate.

[sharpnelshell-deactivated201905]

I BITTERLY REGRET NOT HAVING WRITTEN THAT.

[glumshoe]

hey OP this a fucking good post

[tranarchist]