Hello, hello! It's been a bit since I've made a post like this, and as the title suggests, I'm afraid this update will be a sad one.
Before anything else, I do want to say that I know there's still questions I haven't answered yet, but I promise you I will be answering each and every one of them before the blog comes to a close! However, I will be closing my asks and submissions so that I don't receive anymore moving forward.
Although running this blog has been loads of fun, I don't think I'll be able to continue it for too much longer. It makes me sad to announce this because there was a lot I wanted to do with the story I created for Rachel, but life's just a little too much right now and I just don't see it getting any less hectic in the future for a variety of reasons.
That aside, a giant thank you to everyone who interacted with this blog and read my silly little comics! This has been a fantastic experience and I've learned a lot from maintaining it. Although the chances of me coming back to this blog is very slim, I hope to see you all again some day :]
P.S. If you'd like to read everything in chronological order, you can do so here: Violinist Rachel / #all (tumblr.com)
If the text on this blog's a little too small, I encourage people to use the browser's zoom tool (CTRL + Scroll up/down)!
I know you said you wouldn’t be coming back to this blog a lot, but I just wanted to let you know just how much I love your work😭😭 everything you’ve made has so much love in it and im so lucky to be able to see your art..💓💓 your Rachel is just so wonderful and complex
This story was meant to be an AU of the original, so there's some notable differences:
The way the story's written was to imagine if Rachel was the main protag of Castle of Nations instead of Clarice (though she'd still definitely be a main character).
As such, events in the CoN's prologue hasn't happened yet. This means Clarice hasn't met Climber by the time she meets Rachel.
Times are pretty modern in this story, as seen by Rachel having a smart phone.
To contrast Rachel's comfortable upbringing (and explain the flip phone), Clarice was going to be someone who always lived in poverty and grew up in a rough neighborhood.
Due to too little info about the park and how it works, the story was going to focus more on what's going on outside of it.
Sadly, bc of this, most other park residents (aside from Karl) doesn't have a large presence in the story :(
That's about it as far as summaries go. Here's a some silly doodles, 2 of them being requests!
He enjoys pushing people's buttons to see what makes them tick. In the past, it's mostly in light fun. In the present, it's mostly out of malice or to deflect.
Held a mixture of bitterness, sadness, and fondness towards humans due to feelings of abandonment when the park closed. This gets twisted into a deep hatred after the events with Rachel.
He's typically careful and calculated, but when successfully provoked, all plans get thrown out the window.
Though still guarded and masks his emotions with a smile, past Karl is more trusting and emotive than his current state. Because of this, I'm allowed to draw Karl with a wider range of expressions.
Presently, Karl is now shown almost exclusively smiling. He specifically makes it a point to never show when he's bothered by something (though this is often betrayed by his eye-twitch).
"Deary me" is generally used in a mocking, faux surprise/concern. It's a phrase he coined in the past to mock Rachel's speech patterns.
** The important thing to note about Karl is that he was a casualty in the incident with Rachel. None of what happened that night was planned. **
The last thing he says by the end of the story is "I hate you."
This is also his final lie.
----
Rachel:
Catholic; Half Irish, half Jewish.
She comes from a middle-class family and is relatively well-off.
Her and her family were close friends with the owner of a shop that specialized in violins.
As a child prodigy, she suffered heavily from gifted child syndrome, both in childhood and in adulthood.
She used to be more rebellious and mischievous in the past, but became notably more placid and subdued after the incident with Karl.
She leaned strongly into religion after the incident with Karl due to heavy, unresolved guilt. However, she was never a devout believer and wanted very little to do with it in the past.
She's often seen smiling and content in front of others, but more often than not, it's not entirely genuine; a parallel to how Karl acts.
The people around her actually picks up on this, but doesn't say anything about it to her.
Similar to Karl, she also has a tendency to bottle up and hide her emotions. This often results in emotional outbursts when she reaches a tipping point.
** The important thing to note about Rachel is that the events of the incident were triggered directly as a result of her actions.**
One of the last things she does at the end of the story is perform in front of others with her violin. This is also the last time she plays the violin for an indeterminate amount of time.
It’s the end of the day and the sun is starting to set. Karl is leaning against a wooden support beam, somberly looking outside.
Karl: "Hm. Time passes unfairly quickly when you're here..."
He turns to Rachel.
Karl: "I suppose you have to go soon?"
Rachel: "Yes... It appears so..."
Rachel looks down at the inside of her violin case. She tucks away her instrument and its bow so that they remain in place within their molds. A question pesters her, causing her to fidget nervously while Karl continues to quietly look at the sunset.
Finally, Rachel breaks the silence.
---
Rachel: "Karl?"
Karl: "?"
Rachel: "Forgive me if this is a rude question, but can you really not feel anything?"
He gives her a skeptical look.
Karl: "I don't know… This conversation's starting to feel a little painful, if you ask me."
Rachel: "O-oh... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said anything..."
Karl (waving his hands): "I'm kidding! I'm kidding. But last I've checked, statues don't have any nerve endings."
"Why do you ask?"
Rachel looks down at Karl's foot.
Rachel: "Well... You almost lost your leg from those crocodiles that one time... But even if you did, would it have hurt? In any way at all?"
“That’s what she’s worried about?” He thinks to himself, bemused.
Karl: "I can feel things, but probably not in the sense you're thinking of."
"I can 'feel' the tugging and impact of forces hitting me, and I can 'feel' my limbs in the sense that I can still move them, even when they're detached. But I have to admit, I barely have an idea of what you humans consider 'pain'..."
He pauses.
"Not that I'm envious. It doesn't look like a good time."
---
Rachel: "Does that mean you can sense if something's on you?"
Karl grins wryly.
Karl: "I'll always be able to tell if it's you, but we can test that if you're curious..."
Rachel blushes lightly and pushes Karl playfully by his shoulder.
Rachel: "Karl-! Do you even know what you're saying..?!"
Karl (clapping): "Haha! Your reaction's really all I need to know! You're so cute when you're flustered."
Karl: "But to answer your question, it depends on the object. If it were something light, like a bug, then probably not."
Rachel: "Let's say you were to balance a heavy book on your head. Would you feel it?"
Karl: "An odd thing to put on your head, but I might be able to feel its weight. Heavy can be relative, after all."
Rachel: "What about water? Do you feel damp when you're drenched?"
Karl: "Thankfully, my resin coating makes it glide right off me, like water off a duck's back! So… no."
Rachel: "How about temperature? Do you feel bothered by hot or cold weather?"
Karl: "Not particularly. Though, I can feel the effects of it; the cold makes me more rigid, so I feel myself using more energy to move around"
Rachel: "I see..."
---
Karl eyes her curiously.
Karl: "Why the sudden interest, though?"
Rachel: "Hm?"
Karl: "Gasp! Could it be?"
Karl: "Are you, perhaps, interested in learning about my body more... intimately?"
Rachel (amused): "Karl..."
Karl (coyly): "Because if you want, I can teach you everything you want to know, and more."
Rachel scoffs and rolls her eyes at him.
She ponders a bit before her eyes light up and suddenly, her expression turns mischievous.
Rachel: "And what if I take you up on that offer?"
Karl raises an eyebrow.
Karl: "Oh?"
---
Rachel starts advancing closer to him.
Rachel: "I've always been curious about you, Karl. And I've been wondering how you'd feel if you were put in... certain situations..."
Rachel doesn't break eye contact, gazing at him as she closes the distance with an expression that makes him nervous, and yet, excited at the same time.
Karl: "For example...?"
Rachel: "For example..."
She puts her hand on his chest, pushing against him with just enough force to make him lean against the wooden support.
Rachel: "Would you be able to feel my weight if I sat on top of you?"
Rachel rests her other hand against the support and brings her hand up to lightly caress his lips with her fingertips.
Rachel: "Would you be able to feel the moisture of my lips if I were to press them against yours?"
She moves her hand onto Karl's shoulder and leans forward, her face inches away from his face.
Rachel: "Would you be able to feel the heat radiating from me if you were close enough to hear my heart beat?"
She gazes at him intently.
Rachel: "I'm just so curious, Karl..."
Karl looks back at her, speechless and baffled by this sudden shift. His eyes scans her face as he desperately tries to process a cryptic expression that he’s never seen from her before. Tense with anticipation, he waits to see what she’ll do next.
---
A moment passes, and Rachel sighs wistfully, backing away from Karl with faux disappointment.
Rachel: "Based on your answers, though, it doesn't sound like any of those would do much for you."
"...Right?"
Karl snaps back to reality, realizing it's his turn to answer.
Karl relaxes a little, though still shaken from the residual fluster. He tries to laugh it off, hoping she hasn’t noticed his lost composure.
Karl: "But you never know unless you try... right?"
Rachel smiles teasingly. She walks over to where her violin rests and picks it up.
Rachel: "It's getting late, Karl. I think should get going before it gets too dark."
Karl deflates a little.
Karl: "Ah yes… Of course…"
Time really does pass unfairly quickly when she's with him.
Karl: "Let me walk you to the bridge, at least."
Rachel: "Please."
---
The two walk over to their usual parting spot outside.
As usual, Rachel's stayed a little longer than she should've tonight. Not that she's ever minded, but she feels bad about worrying her poor mother back home. She'll have to do something to make up for it later.
Rachel: "Alright then. I'll see you around, Karl."
Karl: "I'll be here..."
Rachel smiles.
Rachel: "Take care."
Karl watched Rachel as she walked away.
He wished she didn't have to go.
She usually visits him once or twice every week, but he's never truly sure when he'll see her again, whether it's due to an upcoming event, or simply because she's not feeling well. She tries to keep him updated, but there's been times when he wasn't able to see her for weeks, without any warning. Sometimes even months.
Karl: "Rachel!"
Rachel turns around.
Karl (grinning): "Made you look!"
Rachel laughs and shakes her head. She waves at him before turning back around.
Rachel turns on the light to dimly illuminate a dusty room filled with unused furniture and trinkets. All the holiday decorations, the unneeded dresser, the boxes full of miscellaneous items that were only used once; they all reside here until a day comes when it's eventually remembered and brought back out momentarily.
She walked over to the end of the room, where a black case leaned against the wall, and pensively takes it with her as she leaves the room.
It's the violin. The violin that she received on her birthday in celebration of all of her achievements as a musician.
No one is in the house at this time.
The skies are layered thick with grey clouds, and the room echos with only the sounds of Rachel's footsteps tapping on the hard floor. Rachel breathes shakily as she sets up the sheet music on a stand, steeling herself to play.
She puts the bow up to the violin and begins playing.
It was just simple warm ups. Playing an instrument often require intricate and precise movements; similar to how athletes must warm up to prime their body before they start, playing music is just the same.
Feeling a little more confident, she decided to play an old piece she knew by memory. It wasn't a difficult piece, and it was one she mastered a long time ago. Whenever people asked her to play something upon learning she was a violinist, this would often be her go-to to showcase.
The clouds outside flashes briefly with lightning, but no audible thunder accompanies it.
As she played the final note, Rachel took a moment to pause. She turned her attention to her music stand, which held the sheets for the piece she was meant to play at the concert years ago. The last concert she was meant to be a part of before her hiatus. She assumes her position, determined to get through this piece, and starts playing.
She's off-tempo.
She's playing too quickly and she knows it.
When she comes across a long pause in the piece, she stops.
Taking a deep breath, she decides to try it again from the start.
She starts playing again, slower this time.
Although it felt more accurate, she finds herself becoming irritated. Her fingers felt stiff and heavy, as though they were rebelling against her. Parts that used to be fun to play and flowed easily now sounded almost stilted and forced. Halfway though the piece, she trails off and stops, unsatisfied.
She used to be able to do this.
She used to play better than this.
This isn't even a difficult piece.
She used to like playing this.
She flipped back to the first page of the piece and started over.
She played the wrong note, so she'd start over.
Her timing was off, so she'd start over.
She didn't transition smoothly, so she'd start over.
And over.
And over.
And over.
She never finished the entire piece each time.
Halfway through, something would always go wrong.
Something would just never be good enough.
And each time it happened, her brow would furrow deeper, her frustration boiling, becoming more and more visible, until-
*CRASH!*
The music sheets are scattered everywhere.
Her stand lays on the ground, toppled over.
And Rachel stood, bitter and defeated.
This wasn't the first time Rachel has tried to play again, and it wasn't going to be the last, but it's always ended the same way. Every time, it's always ended in disappointment.
A streak of lightning flashed across the window and the sky rumbled threateningly, startling Rachel. Sensing a thunderstorm approaching, she scrambled frantically to re-collect all the sheets and put everything away.
She finds herself in the dusty room once more.
The light flickers as the storm threatens a power outage within the house. Feeling uneasy, she walks quickly over to the wall and places the violin case back where she originally found it. She looks back at it one last time as she exits the room and closes the door briskly as she hears another crackle outside.
Maybe one day, she'll be able to find joy in playing it again.
But today was not that day.
