warnings: cursing, mentions of infidelity, toxic relationship, angst, might need some editing, came-to-me-in-a-dream-fic
Sighing as you finally made it to the other side of your door, the wood met our forehead with a soft thump. The day was finally over. It was time to uncork that wine and start to set your rollers like you planned.
The boys would be out and enjoying their weekend, the two youngest at their grandparent's house. Your eldest two on a fishing trip with your brother. God bless the village.
“Welcome home, baby.”
You jumped and turned to look over your shoulder. Down the hallway from the front door, you could hear the TV going in the den and you did not leave the light on. You waited for another call, confirmation and to be released from going further.
A familiar, fluty whistle beckoned you and then you sighed. You left your bag on the counter and the keys in the lopsided clay bowl.
You took your time, swapping your work shoes for your slippers as you went down the hallway. All the while, you steading yourself came easier this time around.
You clenched your fist behind your back, released it, and then came into full view. He sat on your couch with the remote in hand, throw blanket on his lap as any husband should be when waiting for his wife to come home.
“Hello, Alonzo.”
He patted the spot next to him without looking away from the TV. You came a few steps closer but no more than that.
Alonzo stood with a little sigh, coming to stand in front of you. You looked up at him and waited for him to say something. What could be the possible reason for this little 'wellness check ' as he liked to disguise what was clearly butting into your business.
Looking you over, his touch was light on your hips. You felt him pull you a little but you did not come. Alonzo did not try again, but did not move his hands. He dropped his chin and those microscopes he called eyes searched your face.
"Haven't come to see me in a while, I wanted to check on you."
"That's the point being separated, to not see each other every day, 'Lonz."
He rolled his shoulder, "You don't see me but I see you--that's what matters most--you're right, baby." Something you already knew, still able to send a shock of unease through you. You matched his airy tone with one of your own,
"What matters most is you seeing the boys, which you do. That's what's important."
"Important. That's what you call this whole thing that you're doing to us, to our sons? When you don't have to?"
You shrugged and said nothing. If Alonzo wanted your separation to be called a 'thing' you 'didn't have to do', then so be it. You looked into his handsome face, the same face that smiled as it fed you lie after lie over the last decade. Pity after insult after wound, he spun you around on the axis of your heart and you thought it was love.
Alonzo's hold turned into a soft grip, even more familiar as he stepped into your space. He his dark eyes dipped down and up again as his head tilted,
“Don't get me wrong--you said you'd be gone, you did, yes. But staying gone? Can't say I called that. Didn’t I give you a good life? Weren't we good?”
Was he serious? You stamped down the reflex to get angry. You replied as measuredly as possible,
"We weren't good enough. It seems."
Alonzo looked at you, then. His eyes dark and searching, his face masked gently enough for you to know he was trying. Trying to keep from saying something smart, probably.
He breathed hard through his nose and brought your hands to kiss. You hated the way a part of you still felt tender for him.
“It’s time for you to come home. You and the boys," he said softly, kissing your knuckles again, "It's too quiet without you all there. Was good for a month or two, yeah, but…it’s been long enough.”
“Oh, is that so? I made a nice home for us here if you happened to looked around when you let yourself in."
“What you have here is very nice. Took me by surprise you have this all...put together. We can keep this, if you want. Ya’ll just have to come home with Daddy—that’s all.”
“No, Alonzo. I am home. We've already explained this to the boys. This is how it has to be. You have what you want, I have what I want.”
He stared you and you stared back. Why he was there, you weren't sure. You wasn’t sure what Alonzo fought so hard for when half the time he pretended you didn’t exist. When it was good, things were amazing but when it wasn't...that could be intense.
“Why did you do it, ‘Lonz?” Your curiosity won over your sense, “If you knew there was a possibility of all this…why do it anyway?”
“I could.” He shrugged, giving you a small smile, “She was there and easy. I had a long day and a longer ride home, ‘is all.”
You took a deep breath, taking your hands away. The answer hurt and it was meant to. Alonzo's glacial delivery made it all the more helpful to stamp the doubt flickering through you.
You couldn't go back. Not at all. Your boys were getting old enough that certain questions they asked were harder to answer. It was your oldest son who asked if you were really happy.
"I don't want to see you fightin' like this, anymore..."
Your heart broke. Your two eldest boys were prepared to drop out to help out more but you nipped that in the bud. Their only jobs were to remain children and in school. They were to work hard and do their best, never allowing anyone to cheapen them.
You'd take care of the rest, you told them. Knowing that even if it took your last breath--your babies would know that you loved them.
They were your strength. They were your all.
If the outcome was to his design, Alonzo did not care for the tools that got broken in the way. Alonzo has always been this way and will always be this way.
“I am not going back.” You spoke firmly and kept his gaze, “We can plan things to do with the boys but... I am not going back to how things were." I'm sorry. A part of you still wanted to say it but you wouldn't apologize. Not for choosing your children.
Alonzo sat down again and stared forward for a moment--you knew he wasn't entertained. Not by your words or what played on the screen.
“I’m going to make it right, baby. No matter how long it’ll take. You're going to come home, one of these days."
You shook your head, "That ain't the type of forever I was promising myself to, Alonzo."
His head tilted to the side with another lopsided smile, "When did you start being so eloquent? What have you been reading? " Oh, good ol’ ‘Lonzo.
Alonzo could laugh all he wants too, but you could see the strain in his eyes. He was trying to find a way back into your head, knocking on every soft spot he could find but it was different this time. You were different this time.
Who knew? Maybe a part of you knew that one of these check ups were due because you were learning his game so well?
"That's just something about me you're going to miss, huh?"
Surprisingly, that shut him up. It didn't stop him from taking hold of your hand again. Your fingers wove through his from memory alone, but he didn't say anything as he tugged you to sit next to him on the couch.
His arm went around your shoulder, pulling you to lay on him despite the look you gave him.
"Don't be looking at me like that--It's like a fucking icebox in here."
You sucked your teeth on instinct at the automatic response. So he really hasn't changed too much...
For the first time, in a long time, your husband sat by your side to watch nonsense on the screen. He tossed the throw over you both and you couldn't help like you were relaxing on a tiger.
That was more than fine. You made it this far, you've built a life and actually began taking part in it. Alonzo was done with his games, but it wouldn't be for long before he'll tell you what he really wanted.
Until then, you laid your head on his chest and cuddled close. You'll give just a little, you told yourself, it was best to keep the beast purring.
Alonzo made a low noise, saccharine and so satisfied as he pressed a kiss to your hair,
"I know. I missed you too, baby..."
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✨ending notes:✨soooooo guess who saw a gif set from Training Day and now her world is consumed with a slick smiling, leather coat clad psycho with little to no limits or respect for any personal boundaries 😌 ya'll i don't even know what to say, after that gif set and a very ahem interesting dream, i had to get this man out of my headand I'm not even sure what this is lmao! I'm thinking this may need a prt. 2 at some point to round things off Tell me what you think and thank you so much for reading!! 💕💖✨💕💖
Annie: There are legends of people born with the gift of making music so true, it can pierce the veil between life and death; conjuring spirits from the past...and the future. In ancient Ireland, they were called Filí. In Choctaw land, they called them Fire Keepers. And in West Africa, they were called Griots. This gift can bring healing to their communities. But it also...attracts evil....
Joseline has always struck me as an insecure person who thrives off of treating other people like scum just so she can feel better about herself which is why I’m really not understanding the shock value in what she did to those girls off her show on Zeus because she’s literally been this way since L&HHATL. We all hoped that her becoming a mother would ‘change’ her but that really was just wishful thinking. And truth be told, she should’ve been cancelled after lying about Stevie m*lesting Eva.
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