nevaeh swore she felt her heart stop when the lights went out. she wasn’t really sure if she believed in things like omens, but this sure felt like one. things at the game had been going mostly okay, by recent st. etienne standards. she sat with her fellow student government colleagues, smiling as people dropped in notes for the memorial, although there were far fewer than expected. she thought the game was the school’s way of getting their mind off of everything, and nevaeh thought it might’ve been working. until the blackout. she didn’t know how she knew, maybe it was her intuition or maybe it was just plain paranoia, but she knew that it had something to do with the death. when the lights came back on, and one of their own was sent away in handcuffs,
she didn’t know what to think. she nodded at the other members of the student government as grabbed her bag. she was about to head away from the game, as far from it as possible when she noticed inseong sitting on the bleachers. she had always thought he was a somewhat nervous person, maybe that’s why they got along, because they had that in common. but this was at a level she had never really seen from him. she put down her bag and sat next to him. she put her hand on his leg to let her know that she was there. “hey,” she said, after a few moments of silence. “do you need anything or do you just want to sit here?”
he wanted to leave. leave that place, leave that town, go to look for his brother and hide away somewhere, not even caring if that meant not having the money or the fame or anything he lived with. as long as he had his brother, he knew he’d be fine, he’d be safe.
but right now everything was chaotic and people voicing louder and louder the cacophony of their fears and choleric annoyance was so jarring against his ears like nails on chalkboard, somehow thanking when one of the voices popping over the mass a little bit more was of one of his dearest and most honest friends. “ neve. ” he whined, and he probably sounded pathetic, but right now he didn’t care that much. focusing on the way she was trying to soothe him with her gentle touches. “ can we, can we leave, please? i n-need to leave, i feel like i can’t breathe. ”
cam buried his face in his hands; that was the thing this exposer didn’t seem to understand. it wasn’t just the people on their list they were impacting, it was people beyond that. it was inseong’s brother, and cam’s siblings, and alice’s family and elliott’s family and… and everyone. “i’m sure your brother will be fine,” cam insists, because what the fuck else could he say? he shouldn’t have even said that because he couldn’t… he couldn’t guarantee anything. he didn’t know that for sure.
still, he perked up when inseong said that he’d deserved it, like a shock to his system. because he could assure him that that wasn’t remotely true. “you didn’t deserve to get pulled into this mess, like…” cam shakes his head. “you didn’t do anything.” inseong never hurt anybody. inseong was the most innocent person on campus right now.
cam opened his mouth, unsure how to respond. “i don’t know, i don’t…” he shook his head, slumping over. “i’m still figuring it out.” he glanced up to inseong, a man he considered to be his friend, one of the kindest people he’d ever met. “we can… we can figure it out together, how about that?”
people beyond the thirty of them were going to get hurt and he knew he couldn’t stop it ━he had no power whatsoever, none of them really had. especially when that person, whoever they were that owned now daisey’s blog, had more and more things to push and use against them like some cheap bribery. “ i really hope so. ” inseong was scared. he was scared for so many people, not even for himself ━wanting their safety first and foremost, hoping this all would reach an end soon and that they all could finally meet peace.
“ i don’t know, if it happened it must mean s-something beyond being just a cruel joke, no? what if i d-did something wrong without even n-noticing, and i’m being punished for it? ” but he knew it wasn’t going to happen soon, he knew. cam couldn’t lie to him about knowing things no one knows, there was no real consolation ━and all he could do was softly bump his forehead against the other’s chest, trying so hard to breathe and keep it from shaking. “ we’ll figure t-things out. we will figure it out. ” he needed to repeat it to himself first, to believe in it first, or it was going to be worth nothing. “ who... do you think it might be? ”
jules had been firmly situated between two rowdy, die-hard st. e’s fans. he had been dodging giant foam fingers and spilled drinks all night. having lost track of where any of his friends had gotten away to, he found himself stuck, alone in the bleachers, yet in very close quarters with two people he was starting to dislike. when every single light in the stadium suddenly died, though, jules found himself instinctively gripping on to the arm of the man next to him out of shock. embarrassed, he released the man’s sleeve from his palm and forced himself to look forward at the row in front of him, avoiding eye contact with the guy at all costs. upon shifting his attention to the people sitting below him, he caught a glimpse of a familiar face — inseong. he looked pale, perhaps because of the implications of the sudden blackout. jules was terrified too, his mind drifting towards where kiki was and if she was safe – but he attempted to put on a stable front to calm the boy in front of him. “ hey, dude. are you okay ? ”
it was almost ironic, how the only way he could deal with a crowd was with some distance between himself and them ━when performing in front of a whole audience was just eons different from having a crowd screaming and trying to leave the place because of a blackout adding to the pile of definitely not normal antics that have been sinking ashmont deeper and deeper in some kind of lovecraftian abyss no one was knowledgeable of. and of course, the agitation of the people around him wasn’t helping his panic, his need to leave the place as quick as possible and the even bigger fear of being tramped by a mob that wouldn’t see him like many already didn’t and for the joy of a certain person of dubious mental stability owning his deceased childhood friend’s blog ━wheezing as visibly startled when feeling a voice calling aloud and not sure if it was about him, owlish eyes big in terror when looking straight at its source. “ m-me? ” he wasn’t even sure his voice came through, but considering he was pointing himself with the free hand’s finger ( the other trying to give himself solace by scratching at the naoe ), it was pretty clear what he just tried to say. “ i’mfine. ” he wasn’t.
a flush could be seen, pinkish and giving even more pink to the slight freckling on his nose, the embarrassment easy to test on young flesh. “ i do, but- ” but some are just too weird to be even brought on table, or just too embarrassing. “ my mom calls me inseongie, or seongie. ” too bad it never really felt like something affectionate. “ and a-around campus i usually get called ‘seong, or music kid. ”
the chariot: thoughts on astrology?
“ astrology is fun, and a good w-way to joke and tease around friends, but… i don’t really think it really de-defines us as people, i don’t. ” a pause. “ in k-korean culture, from what my mom told me, it’s given m-much more importance to your blood t-type, and that’s how people tells all about you. ”
the tower: favorite colors to wear?
“ usually neutral c-colors, and i guess it comes from having to perform often and bright colors n-not really being fit to a competition s-stage. if it’s not that, it’s-it’s also pastels, as a se-second option. ”
“ a psychic? no, i mean, i don’t think the ones in m-movies really count for the question. ” the question came with little doubt in his mind, doe eyes quirked in puzzled expression alongside frowning brows.
the sun: do you believe in magic?
and the expression didn’t seem to leave him anytime soon, with a hum soon erupting from pale lips before parting, his reply lingering a bit in silence before almost sounding defeated. “ i know ma-magic isn’t real. ” like pretty much the honesty of more than half the population of ashmont by now, but he’d digress with such a cynical thought, so unlike himself to even consider. “ but this doesn’t m-mean things can’t feel magical t-to you. ”
8 ! inseong definitely finds certain types of dolls spooky ( especially traditional ones or very old ones with clear signs of unkemptness on them ), but not to the point he has some kind of phobia around them !
the fool: do you have any nicknames?
the magician: have you ever written a poem or song about somebody else?
the high priestess: what is your dream date?
the empress: do you think you will ever get married?
the emperor: what are some names that you like?
the hierophant: do you believe in ghosts?
the lovers: do you have a crush?
the chariot: thoughts on astrology?
strength: what is your dream occupation?
the hermit: what is your favorite soda pop?
wheel of fortune: first three songs that come on shuffle?
justice: favorite color of rose?
the hanged man: favorite movie soundtrack?
death: what are three things you want to do before you die?
temperance: can you describe a strange dream you’ve had?
the devil: do you enjoy thunderstorms?
the tower: favorite colors to wear?
the star: have you ever seen a psychic?
the moon: have you ever written a love letter?
the sun: do you believe in magic?
judgement: do you enjoy school?
the world: do you like waking up early?
Do you have any criminal history? Anything big or small that you want to make us aware of?
the air felt thick, as if made of stone ━pressing in a room made even smaller walls that felt more looming over him than the eyes of father and mother whenever he’d make a small mistake, just like the person in front of him trying to pierce his soul with those eyes as if he was a monster in need of slaying. this was no stage, this was no conference with his parents who really little wanted to know of him unless it was about a new trophy to add ━he was alone in this, and he knew he wasn’t going to deal with anything easily.
remembering how to breathe was becoming harder, and harder.
“ no, i have none. ” it was said immediately, as it was true ━nam inseong, jewel child, nothing to his record indeed as his face, even in all that distress taking away softness from his lips and color to his cheeks, remained pristine and doelike, remained with so much pain in his heart and soul because one of his longtime friends just disappeared without a trace, lost forevermore.
even when the lonely light of the interrogation room almost felt like berating him with its flicker as he just really wanted to let himself shrink away, tiny and useless and disposable so easily.
How have you spent the few weeks back at college? What have they been like?
and if the first question felt just right with the situation, the second jarred so much against it, lacking of the proper flow that made inseong blink for a moment, confused, not really knowing what to say ━blinking a few times before actually shaking his head, attempting to give himself some semblance of relaxation, albeit fictitious. there was no hope, no relaxation, actually ━there was no way his nerves wouldn’t stop being tense and his shoulders stop sulking no matter how harshly he tried to stiffen himself up. there was no way things were going to be back the way it was, that was a fact everything of himself needed to accept as fast as possible, or it was going to be the end of him.
“ ah, it was fine, a-actually. as fine as one in this si-situation can be, of course. i have been busy with practicing as i’ve been planning to take part on some big c-competitions ━and of course returning to college means m-more things i have to focus, which is nice ! i’m not a fan of lazying around... if i do i start getting a-all frantic and jittery and stuff. ” god that was the most awkward chuckle ever. “ i have started band as well. i just━am trying to remember how it f-felt before. ”
Part Two ( Daisey. )
How did you know Miss. Rutherford? What was the nature of your relationship?
the moment of ease was stripped away as easily as one would strip away an aching tooth ━sudden and sharp and bringing inseong back to an earth he didn’t want to walk through, back to a reality where yes, college had started and competitions were right at the corner, but also daisey died and he was being looked at as a suspect, just because he knew her, because he was seen with her somewhere. “ we grew up together. ” it was admitted with a little bit of nostalgia in his words, an awkward curl of chapped lips, unsure if such an information was going to bring him on top of the suspect chart but alas ━he was a shit liar anyways, and even if he was a good liar he just couldn’t, when it was about someone close who just got murdered.
murdered. it was even so hard to think of that word, of how close now it felt, more than ever.
“ our families’ manors are next to e-each other, and we used to spend t-time together and play together ━with daniel too. of course. we all decided to take separate ways in terms of studying, b-but we were all friends, talked and spend time together, even if it wasn’t like when we were kids, of course. ”
Do you remember where you were the night Daisey went missing? If so, where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with?
“ i was attending oz━i mean, la-langston lamar’s party, with everybody else. i admit i’m not a fan of big loud parties, but since it was a friend hosting it i was like, ‘why not?’ ” honestly he’d say, the golden child, whose hands were held in a grip as he tried to remember the party, the amounts of alcohol he’s drank ━he shoudln’t have, he really shouldn’t have━, the way people screamed and danced and was having fun and those who were next to him. a fun he never really got, but he was just the same age as them all, attending the same school ━seeking the same thrilling fun at least once before he’d truly end up regretting never trying before.
“ i was nearby the dj set ━with the other guys of the band. we were speaking with the dj about music and about some remixes we were i-interested in listening, since the dj said those were made by themselves. ” the interest in music still remained, vivid in the eyes of the boy that still looked so genuine, awaiting for a nod to continue his spiel. “ then i saw zola and i spent most of the time with her too. she’s too a good friend of mine, and she’s nice to talk to. we had some drinks, chitchatted, looked around at people doing party things, nothing much, really. ”
Did you notice anything strange about Daisey’s behavior the night she went missing? Did you notice anything suspicious about anyone else you ran into that night?
“ a-anything strange? ” it had to force his memory a bit more, but there was something he had seen, something that he clearly had some say in it and that maybe could help finding something ━eyes wide, mouth pursed, rabbitlike child just wanting to prove himself and the world he was a good boy, that he really was and there was no reason to hurt him like that ( for once, selfishly ).
remember remember remember remember.
“ i was a bit tipsy and definitely tired as expected from having a party with friends, but-but i remember seeing daisey around 1AM while i was out trying to take a breather, i believe? she was leaving with s-someone i really couldn’t tell who they were, i couldn’t tell any features because it was dark ━they left to-together and i just thought it was some other friend of hers, it wouldn’t be the f-first time. ” she had a lot of friends besides himself and oz, after all.
Where were you the night Daisey’s body was recovered?
“ i was at home. rosalia can c-confirm, as we live together in the same apartment. ” and he almost wished he wasn’t, but alas ━at home he was, fixing strings of his pretty violin, well convinced he’d have to perform soon when instead it was the air of funeral knocking at his door. he could still remember miss rutherford’s face when asking him where daisey was, if he’s seen her ━of course she’d expected him to know, they played together as children, they still talked, it was natural. but he barely knew where daisey went that night, he barely could hold himself together when finding of her being gone forever.
he still thought he was doing a terrible job at it.
“ i got the news a-and i was heartbroken, agent. she w-was my childhood friend, after all. ”
How familiar are you with the Ashmont woods? Have you been there often? Have you recently ventured out here? If so, why?
his head shook, immediately. the woods, of course they were going to be mentioned ━a place so cursed even to those who didn’t believe in superstition, for it just had an air of horror and dread echoing all within and all around it, surrounding ashmont like a choking grip growing tighter and tighter. inseong never liked it, something in his bones always found revulsion towards the endless natural maze made of branches and dead leaves and hidden pathways ━even now, so far from it, he could almost swear he could hear it cackle.
“ the woods? no, n-never been there ━the closest i’ve been to them was when i was a child, with daniel and daisey, where we wo-would just go there and try to spot squirrels and deers. but we never ventured fu-further, i’ve always been scared of it actually. it always gives me a s-sense of dread. ” like nails caressing his back and being sharp and bony and menacing to tear apart his skin, breath of witches cold against his neck. something in the woods always felt like hunting for blood and he didn’t want to find if it was true or just the nightmares of a very sensitive rich child. “ so i always steer c-clear from there no matter what. ”
Part Three ( the Investigation. )
Do you have feelings towards the investigation? Any comments?
what was he supposed to do? what were they expecting him to say? a person so close to him just died, he and many others of the school got threatened, everything was a chaos and it was in those moments he wished for parents to be there and be supportive ( a dream meant to remain a dream ), envying those with siblings that could watch each other’s back because nam inseong felt alone, so alone, and it was tearing him apart second after second.
and the more time passed, the more whoever now owned daisey’s blog was going forth with their very own brand of witch hunt, and he knew there was nothing he could do to make sure others would be off the list and avoid all the ache and all the paranoia.
“ i j-ust want justice for my friend. i want her to r-rest. ” he uttered, unnecessary to raise his voice when every single syllable echoed within those tiny walls, when there were microphones everywhere even when he couldn’t objectively see them. his own hands trembled ━he’s tortured his shirt enough, he could just let them curl onto each other in a semblance of a grip━, his body felt ready to break down in tears again and he even doubted having more to shed. “ i just really want this to end, agent, i want this to end. ”
Do you have any people you feel the police should look into? Please, let us know who and why.
no. no no no no, it was what the person behind daisey’s hacked blog wanted more than anything, that pointing of fingers and dog eat dog chaos he wanted no one to partake in, because it just felt so wrong in so many levels ━the widening in his eyes and pallor in his face making him look like he indeed saw a ghost that he wasn’t supposed to meet eyes with, his own stance a bit frantic in his pathetic attempt not to completely start begging to be believed. even movies show that didn’t work most of the times unless you were the tale’s protagonist, and he was none.
“ i don’t ━i don’t think the killer is within us. i don’t know, maybe━m-maybe i saw too many crime shows, ” yes, most likely he did, but netflix was essentially one of his closest friends... depending on how one would consider a streaming site ‘friendly’. “ but i just have the s-sensation that we’re b-being put one against the other, agent, like, on p-purpose. you... you don’t have to believe me, and of course i’m n-not trying to tell you how to w-work, no━━i just think this person is... is not within us. i c-could be wrong, but my guts tell me that. ”
Part Four ( Weekly Events. )
Were you at the football game this Friday? If so, did you notice anything suspicious around the memorial table?
the game that friday was something he wasn’t that much invested to, but he remembered sam just bursting at his door and essentially trying to convince him to go ━he succeeded, inseong’s not that hard to defeat━, giving himself the motivation to go and show support to those band members who were selected to play their loud and brassy instruments as a cheer to the people so excited to watch burly men fighting for a ball... only to then leave when the chaos of the blackout had become too much and he had felt the spirals of panic choking him already. if it was done for his safety, leaving was much more acceptable and less of a thing that could frame him as guilty of something somehow, right?
even if now sam wasn’t really sam, he didn’t even know who were his friends and what was the lie he had been embedded in like the fool and naive idiot he was ━it was making him sick, so sick, so much wanting to just hide under a table and leave when the world had finally reached its end. “ i was brought to watch the g-game by a friend, as i wanted to show some support to my fellow band members, but i left during the b-blackout because the confusion and the cro━crpwd were making me panic. ” eyes looking down, giving a light brush to his tired wrists, feeling how tense his veins and muscles were. “ i didn’t really notice a-any-nything, i just went straight out because i n━needed air. ”
Do you have any information regarding the arrest of Holden Woods, his character, or any evidence you may be withholding in regards to his case?
the name of holden woods wasn’t exactly one that uncommon around ━a person he’s occasionally seen while hanging out to a pub that had a delicious raspberry flavored irish beer, a person he’s had just a few friendly conversations, a few jokes here and there, but nothing really going from the line of acquaintances to the one of friendship. but outside of that? outside of the occasional nods while crossing college corridors and those bursts of conversations here and there? he knew nothing.
like he knew nothing, in the end, of the people around him.
“ we were just acquaintances, sir. ” he candidly replied, eyes softly blinking. he truly tried to remember anything weird coming from holden, but besides reminding him to get laid and have some fun, there was nothing weird. nothing intimating murder ━did saying classes were essentially a whole murder count? he himself made those jokes with the band buddies before, did it make him a murderer? “ besides greeting each other when m-meeting at school or outside, none of our conversations went b-beyond regular student talk. ”
Do you have information on the relationship Daisey had with romantic partners in the past? Anything notable about them?
now, that was one messy question. quite fitting the mess he had recently found out ( via others’ complaint, of course ) about daisey’s love life, things he didn’t want to know the details of because ━alive or not━ it wasn’t his business to meddle in. he knew of otto ballantyne of course, daisey’s mom often talked with his mother about how much luck there was in that arranged marriage, but that was it. occasional eavesdropping, and the classical naivetè of a young adult thinking his childhood friend was also having young adult experiences.
he wasn’t sure if the flock of lovers and people lead on left and right were part of what someone would call ‘young adult experiences’, though. for sure, he and many others didn’t need to be experts in psychology to know it was a mess. “ not really, sir. ” so inseong gave himself some composure after thinking for what he felt like hours ━mere minutes, actually━, legs parting lightly so that he could rest the palms against the warm wood of the chair, humming a bit. “ i knew of her e-engagement with otto ballantyne, and i knew she had experiences with o-others, too, but i didn’t pry that much b-because i always respected the fact it was n-none of my business. ”
Do you believe that she had any jealous exes? Or anyone else that may have been romantically scorned by her or pursuing her?
“ i mean, probably? i w-wouldn’t be surprised if she had some exes around that weren’t p-pleased of being dropped. ” there was just a shrug after doe eyes blinked in confusion, honestly not knowing about the excruciating details except for what had already been shared with the world around him ━it was daisey’s business, the same private business that now was pretty much of public dominion, and it wasn’t even a sliver of the whole picture. the only one who knew about the whole truth was one, and they had daisey’s blog and ashmont’s secrets in their hands.
he couldn’t help that much, he knew ━he felt sorry already for that.
it wasn’t like she DIDN’T KNOW about the football game. frankie rivera wasn’t fucking stupid, nor did she live under a rock — as much as the hours she spent tucked away from the rest of st. e’s campus felt like the most blissful of solitary confinement. she was well-aware of the football game that was set to start in only a few hours. in fact, that was the exact reason why she’d decided to head out to her shop in the first place. because she was confident that she’d be able to work on the most recent addition to her collection — a ‘69 TRIUMPH that she’d spent the better part of the last month trying to restore to sort of working condition — in PEACE.
she’d been wrong. go fucking figure, huh? the sound of knuckles rapping against the garage door snapped her out of her concentrated state, irritation written across her features as she moved from her place on the ground to hoist open the door. “can i fucking help you or — ” her words died on her tongue and the aforementioned irritation woven through her expression diminished, noticeably, when she caught a glimpse of her guest. “well, SHIT. don’t tell me you came all the way out here just to pay me a visit. and no chaperone, either?” her eyebrows quirked, something akin to teasing alight in her impish grin. it wasn’t that she thought she was above the law — if a curfew and the buddy system could even be called laws, that was — rather, she’d just never been the best at adhering to the rules, and she certainly wasn’t going to start now. “spit it out. what do you need?”
running away from the thousand eyes staring at him and the chaotic sound of a game he wasn’t even interested in ( not even pretending to, he was too emotionally and mentally drained to even attempt at putting out a pretty mask, smiling and waving ) still wrapped in the darkness of a blackout, spending his time just like a wandering fool that would rather walk in the woods rather than stay in such a place once homey, now so oppressive. and he hated the woods with a passion.
and he wasn’t even sure on why his feet brought him to frankie’s garage. probably because it indeed just looked like a place no one would look for him, or maybe because he had the feeling frankie wasn’t at the game too, and he didn’t even blame her for that considering he was there, giving a few tentative knocks against the dusty, painted metal of the garage door, barely able to give a smile to her when waving his hand as a greeting. “ they’re all busy with the game, so probably they won’t even notice i’m g-gone. ” the music boy said with a slight stutter at the end, brushing in awkwardness his own neck. he wasn’t needed at the band because he played strings, and they needed all those drums and brasses to make sure they’d make some loud statements; and the blackout just gave him a whole panic attack. “ i just wanted t-to get away from there after all lights went out. honestly. i think i’ve been walking around without a real place to go, and ended up here. ”
when the lights flickered out, he had all reasons ( and good ones ) to think he should’ve stayed home instead. as if the pseudo-walk-of-shame featuring the eyes of the entirety of st.etienne wasn’t enough already, now there was this whole drop of any form of illumination that was worthy of being counted as one of horror movies’ biggest and most used trope...and he wanted none of it. he clearly was on the verge of panicking but he was keeping himself planted on his spot on the bleachers, bottling everything inside because objectively, no one would care for someone who was constantly being put at the same level with ( accidental ? ) murderers. he was pretty sure he could even drop dead himself and no one would give a flying shit --nails digging against his upper arms and teeth biting his lower lip so hard it started bleeding, feeling a deafening ring to his ears that wanted him to crawl as far as possible from that place --that town, even.
an entire week had past. friday to friday and sam hadn’t really seen inseong once. it was strange, the silence that filled the practice space during the virtuoso’s usual hour of occupance. he couldn’t blame the guy though, the blog proved to be harsh on such a sensitive soul. he’s debated his next actions over and over again. unsure of how to react. how to deal with these sorts of things, but at the end of the day inseong was his friend. it’s the only right thing to do, even if it’s leaning towards a little too late. he can at least say he always gives it a try. the mascot head was clutched gently to his side, the big game was still ahead of them that night and knowledge of the the other’s attendance or lackthereof was what he requested. a soft knock at the door yielded no results so he decided a second, a bit louder might earn someone’s attention. though just as he believes he can hear someone just beyond the door, sam sidesteps out of the frame with his right arm extending to present the knight’s head alone. “boo!” @virtuosiste
honestly he wanted to see no one. games or not, he had no intentions to put his face outside since that meant being stared and judged in the most negative way ( and he was already used to that in competitions, duh. ), to have people look at him like a criminal when he wasn’t. he just wanted to find someone that belonged to his family and was being kept away from him for some reason he still had to understand, it wasn’t that much of a stretch compared to what has been exposed as of late. he heard someone during band practices saying that ashmont’s a cove of murderers, and while at first he would’ve said it wasn’t true, now he too had his own doubts.
nonetheless, he wasn’t needed at band for the whole games thing, luckily for him. he could stay at home to wallow in his own misery, and----no, according to the knocking at the door and his own consequent groan of annoyance, that wasn’t the plan for whoever was on the outside of the apartment. it was only after the second and much more aggressive knock that he dragged himself outside of his own room and reached the main door, wincing at sam’s little joke. “ eek! ” now, that was high pitched. “ why did you do that?! ”
of all the years to shit the bed for halloween, it had to be this one. where, apparently, his fucking costume was the deciding factor. he couldn’t believe that he’d gotten fifth worst, and still got exposed. got honestly, his own situation couldn’t even fucking compare to inseong’s, who sat less than a few feet away from him and looked a fucking wreck. cam was still in shock, he was sure, like none of this was real. his entire dilemma had been caused by him trying to avoid a bad thing that happened in his life, and then he kept avoiding it, and kept avoiding it, and a part of him believed he could still avoid it. but it was just now hitting him how many people now knew he was not only a thief, but a liar.
but inseong’s secret was… reasonable. rational. and so he couldn’t help but shake his head, arms wrapped around his torso as if hugging himself. “i know you did,” cam assured, even though he hadn’t until now. he just didn’t know what to say. “but hey, at least you didn’t put your brother in prison.” cam cringed at himself, running his hands over his face. “sorry, i’m just. this blows. it really does.” and yeah, sure, maybe cam deserved this, but inseong? he just wanted to find his fucking brother, why his parents wouldn’t let him go home, that was the most innocent secret on the face of the planet. “this… this should never have happened to you.”
“ i don’t know, i’m scared that because of this he’s g-gonna end up in trouble, wherever he might be.” it wasn’t something he could just ignore for the sake of ignoring, especially when they all knew the person behind the blog had connections, and very important ones. it was frightening to think nothing was safe anymore, even beyond the definitely questionable ‘accidental murders’ and abandoning he’s seen being exposed one after another, falling down like domino pieces and all for the sick enjoyment of some bastard who willingly wasn’t understanding how things sometimes needed to remain a secret for the greater good.
and he knew the police now was going to question him, that this was going to fuck himself and his brother up, because he knew it would arrive to his parents, and that they wouldn’t be happy. at all.
with a thick swallow, inseong’s figure just deflated onto the nearest chair, trying to wipe away tears from his puffy doe eyes. he wanted the earth to open itself up and swallow him whole, in that precise instant. he never felt this much humiliation in his life ━hell, even being publicly slapped by his parents felt like nothing if compared to this. “ i e-evidently deserved it, if it happened. i don’t even know-know what to do, i don’t. ” besides staring at his hands, staring at the lines and crevices and trying to save time from acknowledging how now all of ashmont’s eyes were on him, and for the wrongest reasons. “ what am i supposed to do? ”
When the notification sprung up on his phone, intrusive and imposing and red, he could feel himself start to sweat. Things were getting tight now. Not that this game they were all unwilling losers of had ever been particularly fun.
Oz still found the harrowing concept that one of his fellow students was responsible for all of this – planting bullets and carving into students right under the police department’s nose, right under his – almost impossible to digest.
He felt just as useless, as guideless, as he assumed the police were.
There was a specific agenda for tonight, first to find Inseong (and hope there weren’t too many pieces to pick up), and then Vitoria.
“Why would I be mad at you? No.”
At this point, Oz had gotten exponentially better at consoling a crying friend. “Inseong,” His voice was level, now, reaching out to place his hands on the man’s shoulders. He craned his neck so that he could make sure to catch Inseong’s gaze, “I’m not mad at you. Not at all. I promise.” The only story his eyes told was one of pain from seeing a friend distraught (an old friend, one who he felt particularly protective of… Inseong felt so… fragile sometimes). Maybe, if Inseong was less upset, he might notice the hint of Oz’s own panic. He was in no way going to belittle Inseong’s stress, but he couldn’t help the little voice in the back of his mind that he was glad this was Inseong’s secret. Something… a little lighter than some of the others.
Something lighter, far lighter, than Oz’s. Would Inseong be this understanding with him? The answer was most likely not. But the last thing Oz needed now as to worry about scaring the few people he had left away.
“You know you can always come to me for help if you need it. For funds…” He paused, “…We don’t have to talk about your parents if you don’t want to.”
the stress was evidently taking a toll on them, and inseong would wonder, ever so innocently, when oz would be breaking down, how oz managed to just be this stark and patient, this much of a stronghold ━total opposite of himself whose too soft heart is always falling apart at the first blow, who’s always shedding tears over the smallest and biggest of things.
but the regret wasn’t going to go, no matter how much he’d see and feel oz being comforting and understanding ━it was a thing now cemented in him after years of being educated in that way, it was apart of that growing anxiety churning his insides whenever things wouldn’t be as static and clear as a metronome. and the fact he just got exposed wasn’t surely helping him seeing things under a much calmer perspective, or a positive one ━he still felt like he should be hiding away in shame, locked somewhere for stealing his parents’ money bit to bit in order to find anything about a brother he wanted to reconnect with... god, his parents. they were definitely going to kill him the moment they’d return to ashmont and learn what’s been going on in the last weeks.
the mere thought of it made his blood become even more like ice in his veins.
it came instinctive to him to hold onto oz’s hands, reaching for them as they were resting on his shoulders, finding so hard to meet the other’s eyes without feeling himself like a gross pile of shit. “ i’m... i’m scared. what if t-this hurts my brother, i don’t━i don’t want anything to happen to him, wh-wherever he might be. ” the thought of the other getting involved in this whole mess of a situation ━and all because he was daisey rutherford’s childhood friend, because he confided to a dear friend his intentions weeks before her death━ devoured him inside. “ i don’t want t-to beg for money, but now i’ll have to f-find another way to look for him. i a-appreciate a lot what you’re s-saying and doing, oz. i really do. ”
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