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@viscerawrites
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i hate to be the guy always begging for money on the internet but such is life right now
if you don't know me, i'm ren/vacant/fish and i'm a 28 year old transmasculine black queer autistic person who's currently a full time student while trying to balance delivery apps to make money. last year i was let go from my job because they were trying to push me out anyway and since then i've been a financial wreck. between unemployment not being nearly enough, nearly 900 job applications and the only job i got was immediately so toxic i had to quit within the first four days, and trump fucking with student loans and education (which i'd been using to try and get by while i hopefully get a degree to get a better job) i'm just at my wits end. my partner currently has a disability hearing on 5/20 to see if they're eligible for aid but even that should we get approved wouldn't be enough to cover all of our expenses. if they get denied again then they're probably going to see about going to school and see if the school will accommodate their disabilities. we'll see.
to cut to the chase, we're on the verge of homelessness (again) and i can't make money delivering fast enough to try and make ends meet. the main thing that i can't lose is my car because without said car i can't make money at all so that's the most pressing issue.
my car payment is due 5/17 for $497 dollars. right now i have about $200 but between now and then i doubt i'll be able to make nearly $300 bucks so as per usual i'm turning to you all for help.
if you can spare anything at all, it would be meaningful. i'm trying to build up other sources of money (including embarrassing myself on the internet but that's probably not gonna go anywhere anytime soon if at all) including art commissions, substack subscriptions, and any other side hustle that i can find that actually works (because many Do Not). if you aren't able to, that's totally fine i know we're all suffering rn so rbs help.
links below, take care of yourselves.
an update:
thank you to everyone who's donated, i really really appreciate it.
i was thankfully able to make my car payment <3
unfortunately we're still not out of the woods. we're waiting to hear back about my partner's disability claim. if things are favorable, yay. if not then we're kind of back at square one again and they may have to try and get a job though with the market it's like oof.
the cheaper accommodations we were hoping to secure fell through. we're still probably not able to get an apartment based on my income alone (due to rental requirements for income). we may try and finesse a place but that's up in the air and i'm wary of spending money on an app fee to just get rejected.
still no word about if or when i'll get financial aid. that's cool.
if we do end up getting trapped at our current apartment to stave off homelessness, the new rental rate is 1851 alone. that wouldn't include internet, electric, our phones, etc. like literally almost 1900 for a cockroach infested apartment. i've tried arguing with them about the rate but they don't care.
donations are still super appreciated. i haven't set up a gofundme because i need money Now and i don't want to wait and deal with the site's fees.
i'm still offering commissions, doordashing/instacarting, applying to jobs with no luck, applied for other government resources to little success (they may potentially take our food stamps too so that's cool), and have been trying to find a will to live. i don't really have one these days to be honest.
next month will be a year since this bullshit started and i just feel even more helpless than before.
thanks for your time.
if your favorite oc ever broke containment and developed their own fandom, what would the most pervasive discourse about them be?
too beautiful/smart/skilled/strong/perfect/etc
blatantly evil in some way
was mean to someone once
the unforgivable crime of just being kind of annoying
“in the way” of a popular ship
age gap relationship (2-10 years)
age gap relationship (10-30 years)
age gap relationship (30+ years)
a stereotype/“bad representation”
female
op you forgot ______
character is bald / im bald / see answers
(i’m not giving a “multiple apply” option on this one. pick the most applicable/what you think would be the most argued about.)
incredibly pleased that everyone is following the instructions i forgot to give and reblogging to explain their choice in the tags 🙏 more of that please i want to know about your ocs and also i love you
playing with ocs is either
or
find the word
tagged by @the-inkwell-variable, thank you! my words are TYPE, CALL, LINE, DAWN. some Valloroth snippets today~
[ID - a green and black decorative divider]
type
“Aliyne, your new boyfriend has a terminal case of heroism,” Zander said. “Unlike you, I don’t sleep with everyone I happen to meet on the road. No offence, Quest.” “None taken, he’s not my type.” Leshanna pinched the bridge of her nose. A frustrated flush had stained it and her cheeks pale blue, revealing a scattering of white, starry freckles. “If I help you, will it get you all out of my room?”
call
Aliyne grabbed his arm. “Why are you here?” “You’re not stupid.” All at once she had a knife on him. A part of him was proud—he hadn’t even seen her draw it. “And you’re not killing anyone I’m working with.” “Not your call, alley-cat.”
line
Vren ground his teeth. Pure needling, the kind only born Zarahmin could get away with. This child would always have a place, never need to earn his keep, pay down a tally of life debt; he was of Zhira’s line, his position assured, so long as he didn’t do anything stupid. His rank would always be higher than Vren’s despite the fact he’d done nothing of worth, and never would. He wouldn’t have lasted five minutes in Voi’xindiiri.
dawn
They drove until the faint light of dawn took over from Leshanna’s magic, at which point Zander stopped the wagon and declared he wasn’t going an inch further. No-one else was awake enough to argue the point. Leshanna threw down the handful of pebble wards she still had in her pocket, cast as if she were feeding chickens, then crowded back into the wagon with the rest of them.
[ID - a green and black decorative divider]
Last lines tag
Combining a few very old tags here from the lovelies @space-writes @writernopal @viscerawrites and @leahnardo-da-veggie -- thanks, guys!
They walk into the night. Miriam does not ask if they should rest. She does not worry at leaving Camille and Andromeda behind. She does not try to comfort Quintus. To show his gratitude, Quintus reaches into his pack and hands her an apple. It’s past its prime and no doubt less crisp than ideal, but she takes it from him without a comment, and her fingers are warm.
I'll tag everyone up there^^ right back, and also @talesofsorrowandofruin, @talesfromaurea, @mrbexwrites @reneesbooks and @vsnotresponding <3
made a big list of all my OCs for the first time in a long while, excluding any/all that i don't recognize or remember at all, and now i'm just sitting here asking myself how the fuck there's 594 characters on this list and i still haven't gotten them all down.
(1/8) Hi! I'm writing a sci-fi story, and ever since I realized that one of my antagonist kinda reads as a stereotypical fictional psychopath (not sure if he really has ASPD though, his deal is more just "chose to be a bad person and likes it"), I've wanted to balance it out with at least one positive depiction of ASPD. I've realized that one of my MC's three closest friends (female, of Chinese descent) might work as... as sociopathic? What's the proper, community-approved terminology?
[ask continues: And I want to get proper input on that. What do you as a community want to see in a positive depiction of ASPD? What do you not want? How much emotion crosses the line into unrealistic? How do you deal with interpersonal relationships and new people, and do people with ASPD tend to mask more, or is it more common to be fairly blunt with your opinions? (I personally am autistic and ADHD, so I wanna do my representation right for other neurodivergent people.) Also, the character I have in mind connects fairly quickly with the MC and her friend - is that unrealistic? If so, can I tweak it in a way that still has her stick with the MC through the early phases of them knowing each other? By the way, she is from Mars, which in my story has a culture that I feel like wouldn't really demonize the traits of ASPD, as long as they try to be "good people" (I'm of the opinion that being good is a choice and has nothing to do with capacity for empathy). She also tends to be the quipper/source of dry humor in the group, would that be par for the course? How important is a personal moral code to someone with ASPD, and how do you decide on what it looks like? How do you decide that someone is a friend, or that you want a romantic relationship with them? Why do you make that decision? How social can you be/appear to be? Do you feel your disorder is obvious to onlookers, or can people sometimes not tell? How much do you value your social circle, and for what reasons? Is there a general opinion on physical affection, and does that vary from person to person? If you are protective of someone, what sparks that feeling and how far does it go? What kind of personality traits do you value in others? What things do you value in life? If someone reprimands you for being rude, how do you react? What emotions are the most common in your day-to-day life? Is it common for people with ASPD to be observant of the motivations of others (i.e. being able to tell if person A is sucking up to person B, or if someone is being manipulative)? Do you enjoy social settings or do you avoid them? If you do enjoy them, what is it that you do like about it? If you dislike or don't care for someone, can a friend sway your opinion on that person? Do they need to do so logically, or can you just accept that "okay, my friend just cares about them I guess"? Some final notes on the character: The reasons I came to think of her is that she mostly seems a bit detached, and usually leans practical over emotional; any empathy she shows seems to be mostly cognitive; she has a tendency to go ahead with decisions without getting the input of others; and she occasionally does stuff like flirt with the communications officer to get faster access to information, which other characters find slightly out of line but she doesn't see a problem with. So, what do you say? Should I go ahead, or leave it? This character or another? Any opinions on what to do with the antagonist I mentioned in the beginning? Hope I don't offend anyone or come across as negative - I'm just curious, and if I do go through with this I plan on doing a lot of research and reading first-hand accounts. Whew, this got long. No need to answer every single thing though! Thanks in advance, ADHD ramble out.]
Hello
I hope you know you asked us twenty three questions. While it was an interesting project to be able to put together with the other Mods, I feel like the majority of questions you asked have, in some way, already been answered. For future reference, please take the time to see if we’ve covered a topic beforehand. -Jane
Good morning/afternoon/evening! I want to thank the creator and the mods for this blog, it must be a gem for people with ASPD or suspicions. I don't personally have ASPD, but I'm writing a character who does (& they are *not* a villain & will in fact be crucial for the good guys to win, so you might my imagine my frustration with most ASPD literature I find when I research or look for inspiration). One of you talked about having a strong moral code, and if it's not inconvenient, I'd really like to learn more, both for my writing & general curiosity. Thanks loads already and keep up the cool work!
Good afternoon!
First of all, thank you so much. Second, we have a very long ask with lots of writing tips coming out soon that answers this question, but I thought I’d talk a little more about it anyway.
I don’t have an internal moral compass. I just don’t. Things rarely feel right or wrong and I don’t get emotionally invested in moral situations but I’m fascinated by philosophy and the idea of redemption and self-improvement.
So, at first my DIY moral code was more or less borrowed from a friend. She’s an incredibly kind, high-empathy person who often cares too much and I - at the time - was a low-empathy prick, so we balanced each other out well. That served me just fine for most of my teenage years, until I started to think more for myself and get interested in social issues and then philosophy at large, both of which I steal points from constantly to add to my ever-growing list of values. Sometimes things end up contradicting or not making sense and this can lead to some issues, though.
For example, if I catch myself acting outside of my moral code, I’m furious. It’s mostly with myself but I want so bad not to be the one in the wrong that I’ll come up with any internal logic that absolves me of blame and cling to that until I’ve calmed down, at which point I’m irritable for ages after and unlikely to ever own up to my mistake unless asked. Instead, I just silently change my views and move on.
To be clear: This is not ideal. I should be cutting myself a lot more slack, not blaming everyone else for my mistakes, and I should definitely acknowledge and apologise for fuck ups. I try to do these things and I am making some progress, but ASPD can make it quite difficult.
- Mod Tony
Hopefully you don’t mind me adding this OP but here’s a (joke) post I made about this exact subject that I think might help anon’s question
I think the idea of an aspd Good Guy is open to a lot of fun interpretations of symptoms that most people don’t even think about. Honestly when making moral decisions the best thing I can compare it to is being chaotic neutral? Like we tend to be very ‘ends justify the means’ kind of people. Your aspd protagonist will likely do any mix of good or bad things in order to reach the end goal. We also tend to be very focused on self preservation (usually as a trauma response rip) so your protagonist will likely be much more concerned with the well being of themselves and their loved ones rather than what is right or wrong
And as OP said, we can often learn morals from others. From what I’ve seen there seems to be a group of people with aspd who force themselves to adhere to a moral guideline that they themselves don’t necessarily believe in (which can often be the result of internalized ableism, not saying that’s OP’s experience since I don’t know them or their story but I’ve seen others say for them it is) and those people can often not leave themselves any wiggle room or grey areas, often to their own detriment. Then there’s people like me who don’t try to have a moral code but we still try to have a positive impact on the world, if that makes sense. I care about social justice not because I necessarily care so much about individual people but because I see absolutely no point in a society that causes suffering and inequality.. at that point why have a society at all? I’m also very fueled by anger against people who exploit their power over others
Also thank you for trying to write an aspd protagonist! I’ve never seen that before so the idea of it is very exciting to me habdng if you want more help writing them feel free to send me an ask or dm me^^
Hi, I hope you're having a good day! I have a schizophrenic OC and have some questions about psychosis:
What are moments of clarity in the middle of an episode like, as in realizing a delusion isn't true? Can a moment of clarity fully take you out of an episode on its own, or would you just spiral again without intervention?
If you get closer to where a hallucination is "coming from" in physical space, does the sound get closer?
What would it be like if you tried to physically interact with a visual hallucination? -Anon 🐝
Anon 🐝 here again with more questions about psychosis: How common is it to hallucinate (visually or auditorily) people you know in real life? Can you have consistently positive experiences with a recurring hallucination? Thanks so much for everything you do!
Hey!
I have psychosis but not schizophrenia, so please keep this in mind. I'll also say that psychotic symptoms and experiences are extremely individualized, and these answers are based on my own experience, they're by no means universal.
Can a moment of clarity fully take you out of an episode on its own, or would you just spiral again without intervention?
This will depend on a few factors, I think. If someone is in general aware that they have a psychosis spectrum disorder, go into a psychotic episode, and realize "oh I'm Actively Having a Psychotic Episode" then that might take them right out of it, or do so gradually, or at least help them stop freaking out. If someone has the insight of knowing what is happening to them, there's a higher chance they will go back to "normal" faster.
On the other hand, if someone is unaware that they are in psychosis, or what is going on, there's a higher chance they will go back to it. But there are no hard rules - someone who is normally extremely self-aware of their psychotic episodes might spiral into it over and over if they're under more stress than usual, for example.
Another thing is whether the hallucination/delusion is "bizarre" (fantastical, literally couldn't happen, not understandable even in the person's religious/cultural context) or "non-bizarre" (possible, even if highly unusual/improbable). If someone is aware they could be in psychosis, it's much easier to clock something as fake if it's of the bizarre variety (since having an alien in your bedroom is weirder and raises more questions than someone knocking at your doors a lot). That can provide that moment of clarity if you have enough self awareness to go "but aliens aren't real, I must be in psychosis" - though it's not a guarantee by any means ("what if I'm the first person to discover aliens?" -> starts spiraling all over again).
The same above goes for "simple"/"complex" visual hallucinations - if you realize that the "person" is actually just a vaguely person-shaped blob of color, it could just take you out of it, since well, that's not very convincing after you notice that.
There are also ways to "solidify" that clarity. A really common trick I know is to take a photo of the hallucination; if it's not here then you know it's not there either. Some people also take off their glasses and check if there's a mismatch in how the hallucination should look like if it was real vs if it's made up by the brain (if it suddenly looks like an interactive object in a 2000s video game or looks weirdly HD, it's probably a hallucination), though this one never worked for me personally.
What would it be like if you tried to physically interact with a visual hallucination?
I only ever tried to do this while I was fully unaware that I was in a psychotic episode, so keep that in mind.
Looking at it now, I didn't "feel the hallucination" at all. I was hallucinating thing A, and touching real existing thing B (that I thought A was on/under), and I felt exactly what I would if it was just the real physical object B. But because I was hallucinating, I didn't pay attention to that fact, and it certainly didn't "take me out of the hallucination" that the hallucination didn't feel how it should. It obviously depends on the person, but if someone is trying to touch the hallucination and expecting it to feel like the thing, they probably won't notice even if it doesn't feel like it at all. You could be hallucinating a dog and be touching a chair, and it wouldn't feel out of the ordinary.
As for the hallucination touching the person - again, can only speak for myself - tactile hallucinations can be extremely real. Mine felt 100% how they would (if they could logically happen, since mine were of the "bizarre" variety), even looking back at it now.
If you get closer to where a hallucination is "coming from" in physical space, does the sound get closer?
A lot of the points from the answer above will be true for this one too. If someone is completely "in" that hallucination, they might not notice/care even if the sound doesn't get any closer despite them getting closer. But yes, some people can have very realistic hallucinations and be able to tell exactly where its sounds are coming from according to them. If it's a static hallucination that e.g. only shows up in a specific area, they might avoid going anywhere near there.
Also: not all hallucinations that should logically produce sounds actually do. Another thing that the brain might ignore and not question for some people, and take someone else out of the hallucination entirely.
How common is it to hallucinate (visually or auditorily) people you know in real life?
I think media makes it seem way more common than it actually is, but it does happen. This could also be affected by the person's life events, e.g. if a psychotic person has recently experienced something major regarding a certain person, there's a higher chance they could be hallucinating them - because it's Recent and Traumatic. Some people will be hallucinating people they know 24/7 nonstop, others will literally never have it, and a big portion will have a few of those throughout their life.
It is also fairly common to hallucinate recently lost loved ones after their death for people who aren't (long-term) psychotic as well. It's basically a trauma response to high stress, and can happen to anyone.
I'll say, you can hallucinate all sorts of real people: they sure could be your closest loved ones, but they could also be your classmates, your annoying coworker, the cashier at your local grocery store, a religious figure, etc.
Can you have consistently positive experiences with a recurring hallucination?
You can, though I personally never did. I'll leave this question to mods who have more experience with it, though I'll say that you can especially have a positive hallucination if it's a hallucination of something you already like (like a friend, for example).
For the end I'll also mention that there are many more types of hallucinations than just visual and auditory; olfactory (smell), tactile, sexual, somatic (e.g. pain, or feeling like you're moving when you aren't), and command ("the voices telling you to do something", it's usually categorized differently from auditory ones).
Hope this helps,
mod Sasza
Hello!
I have schizoaffective with depression and only have a few things to add because Sasza put everything so well! :)
There's a concept in psychosis you'll hear a lot called double bookkeeping. It's the idea that you both know something is delusional or part of psychosis but believe it anyways. This is something that I experience during early episodes or in the beginning that goes away as my episode gets longer. Some people do not have this at all, some people this is the only way their psychosis shows up. But a lot of how strong a hallucination or delusion is will depend on if you're truly believing it without question or double bookkeeping, or how "in" the hallucination or delusion you are, as Sasza said.
Personally, it's harder to have a "moment of insight" when I am double bookkeeping because I already know what I'm believing or doing is unrealistic or bizarre but I still keep doing it. When I am fully in the delusion, it's easier for something to pull me out (one time a very well timed text message from a friend made me start to question a very dangerous delusion) and for me to go to the double bookkeeping mindset.
As for hallucinations and where they are physically located, I've mainly had hallucinations that feel like they are anchored in place but the opposite is also possible!
I sometimes hallucinate real people, but those times have often been related to strong emotion or trauma, like mentioned. I more often see strangers.
It is possible to have a positive hallucination or delusion, or to have a hallucination that is regularly positive! I have a British voice that brought me a lot of comfort in my last serious episode. He would say very positive things compared to the other meaner voices. I actually miss him sometimes, although I am glad to no longer be hearing voices.
Last little bit I'll add is please remember schizophrenia and schizoaffective involve at least 2 of 5 components, only one of which have to be hallucinations, disorganized speech, or delusions! The others are abnormal movements/catatonia and negative symptoms (asociality, anhedonia, avolition, alogia, and (blunt) affect, the beautiful five As).
Happy writing!
Mod Bert
Writing Schizophrenia and Psychosis: Hallucinations and Delusions
[Plain text: Writing Schizophrenia and Psychosis: Hallucinations and Delusions]
So you've read our lovely guide on parts of schizophrenia and psychosis unrelated to hallucinations and delusions, you've skimmed our tag, but it's finally time to tackle the most commonly known part of schizophrenia: hallucinations and delusions.
So, hearing voices or seeing shadow people and thinking everyone is after you, right? I'm done?
Nope!
This is a guide to the many many kinds of hallucinations and delusions that exist, written with experience by people with psychosis.
A note obviously that psychosis is highly personal and your mileage may vary. This is not meant to be an all-encompassing post.
Conditions that can cause psychosis (not exhaustive):
Schizophrenia,
Schizoaffective Disorder,
Schizophreniform Disorder,
Delusional Disorder,
Brief Psychotic Disorder,
Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features,
Bipolar Disorder,
Psychotic Disorder Due to Another Medical Condition (yes that's the real name and the Another Medical Condition usually refers to things like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, brain tumors, etc.),
Substance/Medication-Induced Psychotic Disorder.
The first three are also known as the "schizo-spec" (schizophrenia spectrum) disorders, with delusional disorder and brief psychotic disorder sometimes also being included in that definition.
Hallucinations
[Plain text: Hallucinations]
There are many kinds of hallucinations, the most commonly discussed being auditory and visual. However, they are not the only ones! There are also tactile, olfactory, gustatory, and somatic ones (the latter are often categorized under tactile or vice-versa).
The most frequent kind of hallucination experienced changes depending on the exact disorder. Overall, the most common ones are either auditory or visual (e.g. auditory are the most common in schizophrenia, and visual in neurological disorders), then the other one of the aforementioned two, then tactile/somatic, then olfactory, and then gustatory.
A person can experience any number of those, and multimodality (involving multiple senses) is more common than unimodality (involving just one sense) in people who have a primarily-psychiatric condition. In other words, having hallucinations that involve multiple senses is common for those on the schizo-spec, but very rare for those with ocular conditions, for example.
Types of hallucinations:
[Plain text: Types of hallucinations:]
Auditory hallucinations: There are many things a person can hear, the most common and most discussed being voices. However, other common auditory hallucinations are whispering, hearing your name being called, music, and hearing people walking around.
Command hallucinations: a subset of auditory hallucinations. My absolute enemy. A hallucination, usually external voice but sometimes an "implanted voice" that commands the listener to do things, from something simple like standing up to hurting themselves or others. The listener can resist, but I personally find the longer I have command hallucinations the harder they become to resist or ignore. Often the thing that gets me sent to inpatient. The most important distinction for command hallucinations are that they are not intrusive thoughts - the person is insistent they are external from them.
Visual hallucinations: Less common than auditory hallucinations but still incredibly common. Not always shadow people or recognizable people - I see strangers and have never had the same visual hallucination twice, although some people do see returning "characters". I do see shadow people occasionally, but they aren't the only thing people see and can be a somewhat exaggerated depiction. I know a lot of people who see cats, for some reason. If you can think it, someone can see it!
Obviously hallucinations can but don't have to be scary, it simply depends on the person and experience.
A person can see almost anything as a hallucination. Some people experience what are known as "simple" visual hallucinations (as opposed to "complex" ones)—basic patterns, spots, geometric shapes, lights, lines. They are not lifelike or clear, and are visibly out of place. Simple hallucinations are less common on the schizo-spec, but anyone can have them.
Tactile hallucinations: my absolute enemy (hey, different mod here). Tactile hallucinations are less common than visual or auditory ones, and often come with other kinds of hallucinations as a bonus—especially somatic ones, since there's no clear distinction between those two a lot of the time. They encompass touch, feeling, and spatial sense in the broadest sense you can possibly imagine. They can be annoying in their own manner as there is often no way to check their validity; you usually can't just record or take a picture of them to verify them.
Tactile hallucinations can be, as most hallucinations, basically anything. One of the most common types is the feeling of parasites, bugs, or other animals, like snakes, moving across or under the person's skin.
Parasitic/formication hallucination is the main example of tactile hallucinations to the point that there are sometimes used as synonyms. It's also very often associated with delusional parasitosis, where the person actually believes that they are in fact infested, which will be mentioned in the "delusions" section.
For many people tactile and somatic hallucinations will be one and the same, or otherwise inseparable, like the feeling of blood or urine dripping down their body, being burned, feeling their organs or bones "move around", or having their skin stretched.
In my personal experience—YMMV—tactile hallucinations are the most difficult to acknowledge as fake (for me, this is in comparison to visual and olfactory ones). Even if you are aware of the possibility of being in psychosis, since they can't be reliably verified for the most part, are often at least theoretically possible, and frequently co-appear with delusions of the same theme.
Olfactory hallucinations: smelling things that aren't there. Those can be pleasant, gross, or completely neutral, as most hallucinations in general. Smell hallucinations can be (unofficially; this is just a distinction I've used myself) categorized into external (smells "outside" the person having the hallucination, like a fire) and internal ("in/on" the person having the hallucination, i.e. a smell that's coming from their own body). In my anecdotal experience, people tend to have more of only one of these types rather than both.
One of the most common ones is the perception of having extremely offensive body odor or bad breath, but it can also do with urine, blood, even decomposition, etc. The hallucinations generally revolve around mundane things (there's nothing "OMG I must be in psychosis!" about thinking you smell bad), which might make them difficult to spot as fake, even if someone is aware that they are overall psychotic.
Many kinds of olfactory hallucinations might make the person feel insecure (body related smells), paranoid (chemical related smells; e.g. I had a recurrent hallucination of smelling spilled gasoline), or cause problems with things like eating (smelling non-edible things in food; rot, mold...).
Gustatory hallucinations [disclaimer: none of the mods have first-hand experience with this one; this is entirely based on external sources]: tasting things that aren't there. The rarest kind of hallucinations statistically, though it shows up in some non-shizo-spec conditions more often (e.g. epilepsy).
Gustatory hallucinations are mostly realistically plausible (for example, feeling a bitter or sour taste) or realistic but unusual (e.g. metallic taste). They often coexist with other kinds of hallucinations and delusions, often exacerbating the problem (e.g. a person with delusions of being poisoned might experience a hallucination of dangerous chemicals in their food, solidifying the delusion).
Hallucinations FAQ
[Plain text: Hallucinations FAQ]
Q: How to describe hallucinations in a sensitive manner?
A: Sensitivity and hallucinations is less about being sensitive about the hallucinations and more about the person having them. Hallucinations can be anything, and I mean it. For every "stereotypical" hallucination, there's a thousand real people who will have it. Unless you're considering doing something extremely out there, I wouldn't worry about the content of hallucinations being sensitive or not; anything that's common enough to be listed as an example of a hallucination is more than safe. Some hallucinations are scary, a lot are deeply unpleasant. That's okay to show.
So, how do you describe the person having the hallucinations?
First of all, don't make them violent towards others. This is a very harmful stereotype that writers love to use. Psychotic people can be violent since they are people, but they're much more likely to be victims of violence as well as committing violence towards themselves (both in the self-harm context, as well as in attempts of dealing with psychosis that ultimately result in unintentional self-injuries). Don't make someone into a murderer because they are hearing voices or smelling blood in their food.
Second, show them as a full person and that psychosis is part of them as that person. Why* are they psychotic? How do they experience it? When did it start, and how often do they have episodes? Do they go to therapy? Do they take medication? How do they feel about it? Make them seem human while integrating psychosis into their character, not just a "normal" person with a "scary gimmick" slapped on top without considering what it actually means for them.
*—not as in "there needs to be a reason for a character to be disabled", but as in "what condition is causing them to hallucinate".
Third, don't push people with low insight under the bus. Someone who can't tell their hallucinations apart from reality isn't stupid or "worse" than someone who has higher awareness. It also doesn't translate to morals; someone who fully can't tell what's real isn't more likely to be evil. It also doesn't make them blissfully unaware angels that should be treated like children. Don't moralize a mental illness in either direction.
To go back to the actual hallucinations—treat them as what they are: hallucinations. They aren't future-telling, prophecies, visions from an alternate dimension, sources of magic, whatever else, they aren't those things. A delusional person (or character) might believe that what they're experiencing is something "greater", but that'd be a part of a delusion; it's not something you should put as part of your objective worldbuilding. Even just implying that psychosis has some "deeper meaning" can mess some people up.
This is my least favorite form of psychosis representation in media. Honestly, personally, I'd rather be portrayed as violent than like I have some secret gift, but don't do either.
Q: How to integrate hallucinations into a story without the story becoming about them?
A: Depends greatly on whose POV you're writing from, how much insight the character has, and what emotions do they experience while hallucinating.
If it's a non-POV character who is aware they are in psychosis and are relatively unbothered by it, you can just describe them glancing around, or otherwise checking where the hallucination is. In most cases someone with high insight won't be interacting with a hallucination (an exception could be a pleasurable hallucination that the person enjoys).
They might ask another character if they also see/hear/feel the hallucination—even if someone is fully aware they are currently in psychosis, it might be difficult to verify which things are fake and which aren't. Maybe the character is sure that the person they're "seeing" is fake, but aren't sure about the dog that's with them.
You can describe the character being clearly distracted by something; looking into a specific place, moving weirdly, or not being able to stay on topic.
If you're trying to write about the character experiencing hallucinations and having low insight, it might be much more difficult to not make the story (or the scene) about it—if you don't go out of your way to acknowledge them as hallucinations then it will look like there is no hallucinations present, since the character will just consider them to be real. It'd just be another part of the setting—you can obviously throw in something that would be clearly out of place for the reader, but it will raise questions that you should probably address, thus making the scene about the hallucinations.
A similar thing can happen if your character is experiencing an unpleasant hallucination: you kinda have to make the scene about it. if the character is scared, it'd be weird to ignore that. You can of course go "they saw a peculiar creature in the yard, one so weird that they knew right away it wasn't really there, so they decided to ignore it," since you can be aware of a hallucination being fake while still being disturbed. In that situation you can have the character purposefully trying to distract themself, show them being under stress, or having another kind of reaction (e.g., using some sort of grounding technique, having a panic attack, etc).
Q: What are some common ways to tell what is and isn't a hallucination?
A: Visual: taking pictures/videos, taking off your glasses (hallucinations will sometimes stay in-focus when the real world blurs accordingly), asking another person if they also see it.
Auditory: recording the sound, asking another person.
Blind people having visual hallucinations and deaf people having auditory ones usually just assume that the hallucination is fake, especially if it's the only thing they are able to see/hear.
Olfactory: asking another person.
Tactile/somatic: no consistent way as far as I'm aware. In some circumstances you can tell by just looking (e.g. you feel like you're having a nosebleed, you can just look in the mirror to check) or asking another person (e.g. you feel like you're levitating), but for most hallucinations there is no way of telling (e.g. how would you check if there's something happening to your internal organs? Get a body scan of some sort maybe?).
Gustatory: if it's about a real food you can ask another person if they also feel the same taste, otherwise no way of telling as far as I'm aware.
Q: Does being able to logically differentiate between reality/hallucinations stop emotional responses?
A: It can, but it's not a guarantee by any means. Imagine you're on a rollercoaster or watching a horror movie: logically speaking, you know that you are safe—but still, you get scared, it's a natural response. If the insight helps someone emotionally, it's usually partial.
That said, being able to recognize something as a hallucination might (key word here) help someone stop having a psychotic episode, which could end the emotional response. But just because you know that something is fake doesn't mean you'll stop believing it. In fact knowing that you're believing something that is fake can be even more distressing than not knowing it's fake.
For some people, a hallucination could be traumatic or plain upsetting and continue to disturb them even after it's gone and they are no longer having an episode.
Not everyone will be particularly emotional though. Some people hallucinate 24/7 and just treat their hallucinations as another part of their day, even if they're fully conscious of them being fake.
Q: Can blind people have visual hallucinations/deaf people have auditory hallucinations?
A: Yes. For those where the two are connected, the former is called Charles Bonnet syndrome, the latter Musical Ear syndrome. The major distinction is that in both of those, the person experiencing the hallucinations usually has high insight (i.e., is aware that they are hallucinations) and they don't generally co-occur with delusions.
Blind and deaf people with residual vision/hearing can also experience "regular" visual/auditory hallucinations as well (and obviously other kinds too—nothing is stopping a deaf person from having olfactory hallucinations).
The one important caveat is that people with congenital (!) cortical (!) blindness do not, for unknown reasons, ever develop schizophrenia.
Delusions
[Plain text: Delusions]
Delusion is a fixed belief in something that is considered false, even after seeing evidence for the thing being untrue. The delusional belief isn't a part of the person's culture or religion, and isn't accepted as true among other members of their community. The belief is generally disturbing to the person and causes them distress.
The delusions that one can have are basically endless in terms of options, but they can be broadly put into two categories:
Bizarre: delusions that are impossible to occur in real life.
Examples:
being abducted by aliens,
having your thoughts broadcast over the radio,
being a supernatural entity.
Non-bizarre: delusions that are possible to occur, even if highly unlikely.
Examples:
being poisoned,
having a partner cheat on you,
being watched by the government.
Of course, in terms of fiction, what's considered "possible to occur in real life" might differ from these examples.
Delusions can also be categorized in "themes", such as:
Persecutory: the theme surrounds believing that one is being harassed, attacked, stalked, or conspired against, often by powerful entities. Frequently reported as the most common type of delusion, especially in schizo-spec disorders.
Grandiose: surrounds believing that one has special powers, status, knowledge, skills, has relationships with famous, powerful, and otherwise important people, or is such a person themself.
Jealousy: surrounds believing that one's partner is unfaithful.
Erotomanic: surrounds believing that another person—often of higher status, such as a celebrity—is in love with them.
Somatic: surrounds believing that there is something wrong with one's physical body, such as being infested with parasites, having blood replaced with a different liquid, or missing internal organs.
Religious: surrounds believing that one is a god or another religious figure, like a prophet or a saint, and/or is receiving directions/commands from those. A person doesn't have to actually be religious to experience religious delusions, nor has to be of the same religion that the delusion is about.
Thought manipulation: surrounds believing that one's thoughts are being manipulated in some way. Common examples include believing that one's thoughts are being broadcast, or that foreign thoughts are being purposefully inserted into their brain.
Mixed: delusions that match multiple of the aforementioned types. E.g. a character who thinks the government wants to kidnap them for their magical powers (persecutory+grandiose); a character who thinks that they are married to a famous pop star and that she's cheating on them (erotomanic+jealousy), etc.
Unspecified: literally everything else.
There are also specific delusions which are often referred to as their own syndromes/disorders. They are generally considered very rare but they are frequently referenced in media. Some of them are:
Clinical lycanthropy: a delusion that one is turning into a werewolf. Often clinical lycanthropy is a catch all term now for clinical zooanthropy, which is the belief you are transforming into any sort of animal. It's very rare and can be part of a disorder such as schizophrenia or exist as a delusion on its own. Often people with it will start to behave alongside the disorder, such as eating raw meat or feeling somatic transformation, or hiding so as not to hurt others in their beastly state.
Delusional parasitosis/Ekbom's syndrome: a somatic delusion where you believe there are bugs/bacteria/parasites inside your body, generally under the skin. Commonly co-occurs with tactile/somatic hallucinations, adding realism to the delusion.
It very frequently results in self-harming behaviors in an attempt to "get them [parasites] out". That can be anything from skin scratching to auto-amputation or disembowelment. The less extreme ways can result in infections and painful skin conditions, sometimes solidifying the person in the delusion that their body is in fact infested. The more extreme ways can and probably will result in death for obvious reasons.
A common phenomenon associated with it is the "matchbox sign" where the person finds "evidence" of the "parasites" (usually dead skin, fabric, small pieces of food, etc.) and shows it to someone, often a doctor, as proof of the infestation (matchbox coming from it being the go-to container for the "specimen", but honestly it can be anything. Who even has matchboxes anymore). A person with this disorder can also obsess over parasites/other animals that can in fact infest humans, potentially forcing them to avoid certain activities as much as possible (not eating meat, not going into forests, obsessively washing themself, etc).
To my knowledge this is the most common syndromic delusion, though it could be related to the fact that people with delusional parasitosis are also the most likely to see a doctor about it (though the doctor of choice would practically always be a dermatologist, not a psychiatrist) and thus get counted in statistics.
[Disclaimer: the next three are entirely based on external sources since no mods have first-hand experience with them.]
Capgras syndrome: a delusional misidentification syndrome where the person believes that someone else has been replaced by a clone/double/impostor. Most commonly the person who was "replaced" is a close family member or a spouse. Rarely, a person can also think that multiple people or a group were "replaced". Very rarely, the person with the delusion might think that they themself have been "replaced".
The delusion might be persecutory in nature, where the person believes the "clone" is there to spy on them or hurt them. This can sometimes lead to attempts of "unmasking" or confronting the "impostor" in an attempt to get their loved one "back".
Fregoli syndrome: a delusional misidentification syndrome where the person believes that strangers or acquaintances are someone they know in disguise. While generally it centers around people, it can also happen with animals or objects. It usually has a persecutory aspect to it, where the person thinks the "disguised" person is trying to follow or harm them in some way.
Cotard syndrome: also sometimes known as "walking corpse syndrome". It's a wide-spectrum delusion where the person believes that they already are dead, are currently dying, are immortal (and thus unable to die), have died but were reborn in some way, or just don't exist. People who have it might also believe that their organs are gone, rotting, or dying. Some can also abandon their basic human needs (such as eating) since they think it's no longer necessary.
Cotard syndrome is very rare in real life, especially in young people.
This is not an exhaustive list, just some examples.
Delusions FAQ
[Plain text: Delusions FAQ]
Q: What do delusions feel like?
A: So, it primarily depends on "insight"—whether the person has no, low, or high insight into their own delusion. The vast majority of people who experience delusions will have very little to no insight during their psychotic episodes.
Delusions feel like every other thing that's real, except they aren't, well, real. During a psychotic episode, delusions are facts as much as everything else around you. You don't question them since they feel obvious.
In delusions, there's lack of proof—which can be filled in by hallucinations (person believes they have a lethal disease, and starts hallucinating symptoms), explained by the delusion itself (person believes that someone else is in love with them, and interprets regular behaviors as "signs"), or simply ignored (the average person also doesn't know how [random everyday technology] actually works, but knows that it's a real thing that exists—people don't tend to question things they simply consider to be true, even if they don't really understand them).
Q: How to describe delusions in a sensitive manner?
A: To quote myself from earlier: sensitivity and delusions is less about being sensitive about the delusions, and more about the person having them. Delusions can be of anything, about anything, they can sound stupid and seem absurd to outsiders. I'm not saying "write the most ridiculous delusion you can think of for fun", more so "yes, some people do have unusual beliefs due to having the Unusual Belief Disorder".
Delusions are frustrating for everyone involved almost by definition. They aren't true and they directly affect what you believe, so they make you believe nonsense. And you can't "just explain lol" to the person that what they're saying/thinking is untrue because, well, it's a delusion. By definition, the belief being verifiably false really doesn't matter.
What's important to remember is that the delusional person isn't doing it on purpose. It's not a case of someone Purposefully Spreading Misinformation or rejecting factual data to further their agenda, it's a mental illness. Portraying it as a choice or some moral failure is simply incorrect. You can't just "opt-out" and magically stop being delusional.
So, what to actually do?
Recognize that delusions generally aren't fun. Obviously, everyone's experience is different, but delusions tend to be distressing. Persecutory ones will almost always be very negative, while a religious or grandiose one could even feel positive for someone if they think they are an angel or have some amazing talent.
Try to show the character's feelings in a sympathetic way, not a mocking one. What they believe isn't true, but their feelings are as real as anyone else's.
It's also important to remember that a delusion is something you genuinely believe. Try to put yourself in that position: you simply know some things. What your name is, how your pet looks like, where you live, whatever. If someone tried to convince you that you are wrong about these things, you'd think they're crazy. Imagine your coworker talking to you like they know your home life better than you do. Depending on the exact circumstances, you would probably have some sort of reaction—whether that be anger, being baffled, or just kinda weirded out.
It's the same when someone is delusional, and the "things you simply know" just happen to not actually be true.
This kinda leads to considering the ways in which a delusional character interacts with others. Some delusions are ignorable—the other character can kinda just nod and change the topic and move on. Others are a bit more in your face (e.g. the character thinks they are some higher being, or they think the character they're directly talking to wants to hurt them). Again, just telling someone "that's not true lol" doesn't really do much, if anything it can make the delusion worse (again: imagine you confront someone who you think is poisoning you, and they just say "um but I'm not?? what are you talking about lol you sound crazyy"). Try to consider what the relationship between the characters is, and what their personalities are—are they considerate, are they impatient, do they understand how the delusions affect the other character? Does the other character realize/know that the psychotic character is in psychosis at all?
Q: How do I incorporate delusions into a character's voice realistically?
A: TLDR: It's can be hard to make dialogue that sounds realistic for a character who has the disconnect-with-reality disorder.
First, try to consider how your character experiences their delusions in general. Are they extremely disturbed and can't stop thinking about their delusion when they're having an episode, or is it more of a background noise?
If it's disturbing them, then it probably won't sound realistic. When the delusion is all-consuming, the person having it might talk about it in circles and relate everything to it. Depending on how the psychotic character actually behaves, other characters might feel like they're being pranked because it just seems like "too much". It might be "like in the movies". The character can be going in circles trying to figure out how to stop NASA from broadcasting their thoughts around the globe; this happens.
At the same time, sometimes the delusion is much more covert. Sometimes on purpose (e.g. character with persecutory delusions believes that they are being observed, and doesn't want the observer to realize that they are aware of the observing, so they actively choose not mention anything about it), sometimes as a by-product of the way the delusion affects them (e.g. character with an erotomanic delusion isn't distressed by it, and they just vaguely mention their 'partner' in a way that doesn't really even tip anyone off).
If it's the first, you might be dealing with a character who is simply nervous/hiding something (because, well, they are). They might avoid certain topics or visibly get more stressed if the conversation goes into uncomfortable territory.
If it's the second, it will probably be more subtle. Perhaps you-wouldn't-be-able-to-tell-it's-a-delusion subtle. It depends on the character's exact delusion. Some would just be considered non-events (they say they have a partner who's famous, or that they are accomplished in some way), relatively normal/common events (partner is cheating on them, they have some serious illness), and some would be clearly bizarre (they say that their parents have been replaced by robotic clones, or that they are some mythical creature). If it's the first or the second, there might be no "tell", or maybe there will be some logical errors that other characters can catch on to, maybe there will be some inconsistencies when the character asks about it further, or maybe there will be nonsensical changes that happen between different retellings of the story that let others know something is off.
If it's the third clearly-bizarre option, then the "delusion reveal" might feel like it's coming out of nowhere, or create a sudden tone shift. It will be explained further in the post more, but psychosis isn't always obvious. Sometimes you learn that someone is psychotic because they say one thing that makes absolutely no sense. Again: it might feel abrupt, unexpected, other characters might think that they are being pranked at first. Just don't make the narrative make fun or mock the delusional character.
As to what you shouldn't do: no matter how delusional someone is, people still have other traits. Delusions aren't a replacement for backstory, relationships, preferences, or personality. They can and do affect them (and vice-versa), but if all the character talks about is their delusions, it will come off as either boring and flat, or a parody.
Psychosis FAQ
[Plain text: Psychosis FAQ]
Q: Can psychosis go undetected by the people around the person experiencing it, or is it very obvious?
A: Depends (sorry). But yes, sometimes it can absolutely go undetected, especially in case of a person experiencing mundane non-bizarre delusions and/or hallucinations.
It can also depend on the actual cause of the psychosis—for example, schizophrenia often comes with disorganized speech (among other things) which is definitely noticeable.
On the other hand, delusional disorder is often referred to as a "high functioning" disorder where it can be very hard for others to notice anything is wrong. It's generally characterized by non-bizarre delusions, unremarkable behavior ("not odd"), relatively non-impaired functioning, and any hallucinations that come with it are relatively minor and most importantly, fit the theme of the (probable) delusion.
My own absolutely worst psychotic episode went undetected by everyone I was living with at the time (in a tiny apartment at that). For someone else, a stranger could notice that they are experiencing psychosis from the other side of the road. It's a very wide spectrum, and a person can be on different ends of it at different times of their life.
It's basically: could you tell that your coworker who is ranting about their wife cheating on them is having a psychotic episode? Because they could be, and you probably wouldn't even consider it as an option since it's a very mundane delusion. On the other hand, if the coworker told you that their wife has been replaced by an identical evil clone overnight, you will know there's something going on because that's not a thing that happens.
Q: What impacts what hallucinations and delusions come up? Are they random?
A: As far as I'm aware, there's no actual research on this. We know that certain types of hallucinations and delusions are more common in specific disorders (e.g. in schizophrenia, auditory hallucinations and persecutory delusions are more common than other types), but that's about it. We don't know why certain people hallucinate cats meowing, and other ones hear demonic screaming.
Anecdotally speaking, people tend to stick to their delusions rather than have a completely new kind every time they have a new psychotic episode. It could be literally the same delusion following them ("the government is watching me"), it could branch out over time ("the government is spying on me and stealing my thoughts"), or incorporate other delusions that still somewhat connect, either in theme (in this case persecutory) or in subject (in this case government-related). In my experience, it would be very unusual for a person to have a psychotic episode where their delusions center around one thing with a specific theme, go into remission, and then have their next episode center something completely different with a fully unrelated theme (excluding "major event happening between the two episodes" type stuff).
Having unrelated hallucinations is more frequent since multimodality is very common.
The content of delusions or hallucinations is essentially "anything". It can be related to trauma, but doesn't have to. It can be related to the person's daily life, but doesn't have to. It can make sense from the outside, but doesn't have to.
Q: What do antipsychotics do from a more first-person perspective? How do they affect the symptoms of psychosis?
A: Make you sleepy... no, the biggest thing my antipsychotics have done when dosed correctly and on the right mix is they have helped give me a tool to more easily establish what is real or true and not. Even "in remission", a person with psychosis may experience hallucinations or mild delusions. It's less the symptoms that stop and more that they stop being as disturbing and disruptive, in my (mod bert again!) experience. They do not affect speech or negative symptoms for me, however.
Other mod here! When on the wrong antipsychotic, my delusions and hallucinations got meaner. They were more persecutory and I also experienced "old" hallucinations that I had not seen in a while returning. However, on my best dosage, my antipsychotics made my hallucinations nicer and quieter. Not as in like literally less loud, but they became easier to ignore. Like above, I have never seen an improvement in my speech or cognitive symptoms from medication.
Q: What kind of things can trigger a psychotic episode?
A: Technically speaking, anything can. It depends a lot on the actual disorder causing the psychosis (no points for guessing what triggers an episode in someone who has Medication-Induced Psychotic Disorder), but the most common triggers would be:
high stress,
recent traumatic event,
substance use,
sleep deprivation,
and social isolation.
My symptoms can be triggered by talking about them or seeing content similar to my hallucinations and delusions. For example, hearing a bible story triggered a religious hallucination, etc.
Sometimes the trigger is also "nothing" as far as the person experiencing the episode knows.
Things to Avoid
[Plain text: Things to Avoid]
Violent psychotic characters, especially ones that kill others because of "the voices"/"the visions". Psychotic people are much more likely to be violent towards themselves than anyone else.
Magical psychotic characters where the psychiatric disorder is some sort of magic system mechanic. A mentally ill character can have powers or whatever, but don't make symptoms into something they aren't.
Delusions/hallucinations that predict the future or have some other kind of omniscient quality to them. Again, this is a real medical condition, not a writing prompt.
Rule of thumb: would you still make the character psychotic even if their symptoms served no purpose in terms of worldbuilding and/or establishing something supernatural? Because if the answer is no, you have to rethink some things.
Psychotic characters who always have to be one of the like, four possible character archetypes (evil cannibalistic serial killer/mad scientist/Victorian era child in a horror movie/side character whose delusions are played for a joke and/or to show how 'dumb' they are).
Things We Want to See
[Plain text: Things We Want to See]
Regular people who just happen to be psychotic because of a mental health condition.
Psychotic characters who also experience other symptoms of their condition. Schizophrenia, the most commonly portrayed psychotic disorder, has many more symptoms than just that.
Psychotic characters who aren't young. Elderly people are actually the most likely to develop psychosis, childhood onset is extremely rare in comparison.
Psychotic characters who aren't white, physically abled men. Your character can be of literally any background, anyone can develop psychosis. In media it's almost exclusively either white men with poorly "researched" schizophrenia to portray them as crazy and dangerous, or sometimes women with delusions (usually erotomanic/jealousy type for obvious reasons) to portray them as crazy and unbearable to be around.
Characters who experience other kinds of hallucinations than just auditory and visual ones.
Characters who experience cognitive and speech symptoms.
Characters with other disabilities.
Characters who need a lot of support as a direct result from their psychosis. This should be portrayed as a neutral thing.
Psychotic characters who still have a social life! And hobbies!
Characters with MDD [major depressive disorder] that experience hallucinations/psychosis as a result. This was something I experienced during one of my worse periods and I have quite literally never seen anyone talk about MDD with psychosis outside of a medical context.
Happy writing!
mod Sasza, mod Bert, & mod Patch
Writing a Schizophrenic Character: Everything But Hallucinations
Plain text: Writing a Schizophrenic character: Everything But Hallucinations
Hey! Mod Bert here.
So: you’ve decided to write a character with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder (there are other disorders on the schizophrenia spectrum but I will be focusing on these for today)
You’ve done it, you have their hallucinations and maybe even delusions picked out. Maybe they are one of many who experience auditory hallucinations or maybe they also have visual hallucinations or a combination. Maybe they have olfactory hallucinations as well. They may have persecutory delusions or delusions of reference or something like Cotard’s delusion or clinical lycanthropy. Awesome, you’ve done it!
What, I hear you say? What do you mean that’s only 2 of the 5 components needed to be diagnosed with schizophrenia? What do you mean, you don’t need to hallucinate at all to be schizophrenic?
What Goes Into a Diagnosis of Schizophrenia
Plain Text: What goes into a diagnosis of schizophrenia
Not a lot of people realize there’s more to schizophrenia and schizoaffective than just hallucinations or delusions. There are 5 diagnostic criterias that are needed for schizophrenia, and only 2 of the 5 are needed for a month, with larger symptoms happening for six months or more. Let’s get into it.
Delusions
Hallucinations
Disorganized speech or thinking*
Disorganized or unusual motor behavior (catatonia)*
Negative symptoms (avolition, anhedonia, flat affect)*
I’m going to focus on disorganized speech/thinking, catatonia, and negative symptoms.
Disorganized Speech/Thinking
Plain Text: Disorganized Speech/Thinking
Schizophrenia and related disorders are often called “thought disorders” for a reason. Speech and thinking can be extremely affected, and for people like me this can be one of the first and most striking examples of an episode coming. Some people will always have disorganized symptoms that will flare during episodes. A myth is that schizophrenia can be indistinguishable with medicine: most people will have some level of symptoms even during moments of peace or “remission”. More on remission later.
So, disorganized speech. Some examples are: word salad (schizoaphasia), thought blocking, poverty of speech (alogia), pressurized speech, clanging, and echolalia.
Word salad: a combination of words that do not make sense together. Often called schizoaphasia for its similarity to jargon in Wernicke’s aphasia, this is instead a disconnection with the brain and not due to damage to the language part of the brain.
(Example: the salad would be yellow in the fat cow).
Thought blocking: A severe loss of thought, often paired with connecting two trains of thought that are not connected
(Example: I went to the………Do you like grapes?)
Poverty of speech: A lack of organic responses to speech or organically speaking, it can be severe enough that a person only responds to questions or in one word responses. Can also happen in severe depression.
(Example: Person A: Did you do anything fun today?
Person B: Yes.
Person A: Oh, what did you do?
Person B: Store
Person A: How was it?
Person B: Fun)
Pressurized speech: A sort of frenzied way of speaking associated with psychosis or mania.
Clanging: Connecting phrases together because of what they sound like instead of meaning
(Example: I went bent tent rent).
Echolalia: Repeating word’s and phrases. Commonly also associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
(Example: Person A: I went to the store.
Person B: To the store.)
These are not the only examples but they are some ones I thought I'd highlight, either because they’re well known or I have experience with them, or because they’re famously thought of with other disorders as well and I wanted to point out how things overlap.
Personal experience: I had severe alogia for the duration of my last and worst episode. People thought I was mad at them because of the clipped way I spoke and the lack of really speaking. It got me in a lot of trouble. I didn’t realize what I was saying was different or weird (I have the least insight when it comes to my speaking patterns affected by my schizoaffective, meaning I can’t hear any difference and all of this is from repeated conversations with my mom, who was my caretaker for a bit and knows the most about my speech and what it means). The best solution was talking with people and being honest and educating myself and others. I don’t know about others, but I couldn’t have used AAC at that time.
Catatonia
Plain text: Catatonia
Fun fact: catatonia means unusual motor behaviors! Any unusual motor behaviors mean catatonia. This includes what we think of when we think of catatonia in schizophrenia (inability to move) as well as the opposite (being unable to stop moving) as well as strange movements and ways of holding and moving the body! Catatonia in the DSM-5 includes 3 or more of these 12 behaviors:
-Agitation unrelated to external stimuli
-Catalepsy
-Echolalia
-Echopraxia
-Grimacing
-Mannerism
-Mutism
-Negativism
-Posturing
-Stereotypy
-Stupor
-waxy flexibility
I have some experiences with catatonia-like symptoms but since they were never identified as such I’ll skip those for now. I will say that catatonia is a symptom that can happen in many disorders besides schizophrenia as well.
Negative Symptoms! Yay!
Plain text: negative symptoms! Yay!
So a positive symptom (Hallucinations or delusions) are symptoms that add something to reality or a person. Negative symptoms are symptoms that take away. There are 5 A’s:
-Alogia (Again, poverty of speech, our favorite)
-Avolition (Lack of energy and motivation)
-Affect (Blunted affect, or a flat way of speaking)
-Anhedonia (Lack of pleasure in things that used to bring you pleasure, often thought of with depression)
-Asociality (Lack of interest in social events and relationships)
There are also often cognitive changes including thinking and memory, information recall, understanding, and acquisition, and so forth.
Schizophrenia and schizoaffective often (but not always) happen with what’s called a prodromal period. This period can be months to years (mine was a little less than a year) and mainly consists of negative symptoms. Slowly, positive symptoms are added. There are thought to be stages to schizophrenia including prodrome, active phases, and remission.
I’ll talk about that a little for a second because I’m currently in remission and no one knows what that means. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective depressive type in January 2021. As of February 2024, I no longer qualified to be rediagnosed because my symptoms were strongly under control and no longer severe enough to qualify for a diagnosis. They also didn’t distress me or impact my daily life severely. Day to day now I still have mild symptoms and take my antipsychotics (trying to go off them have made it clear that I still have some symptoms I choose to keep medicating) but I haven’t had a delusion in 2 years and been hospitalized in 3. There’s always a possibility of another episode but I work with my team to keep myself one step ahead if that happens.
What I want from a character with schizophrenia
Plain Text: What I want from a character with schizophrenia
Alright the writing advice part. What do I want from a character with schizophrenia or schizoaffective (which is schizophrenia plus either depression or bipolar).
-Characters with caregivers.
-Characters using coping strategies (recording hallucinations to tell if theyre hallucinations, taking medication, having service animals that greet people so they know if they’re a hallucination, using aids for the cognitive symptoms like sticky notes and organizational tools)
-Characters who know other characters with their disorder, either online or in support group or through running in similar circles
-Characters having autonomy
-Characters who aren’t the killer or horror victim. I know it’s cool to have the schizophrenic protagonist in horror, and I love horror, but I don’t want to read about the horror being symptoms the whole time
-Characters who are in magical scenarios, who are in fantasy and sci-fi. The schizophrenic princess and the schizoaffective robot technician aboard the spaceship.
-Medication and hospitalization treated casually. Sometimes we need higher care. That’s morally neutral
-Characters with negative symptoms and speech symptoms.
-Characters with catatonia!
-Characters with other disorders as well
-characters with side effects from medicine treated casually
-Characters with cognitive symptoms
Thank you for reading this incredibly long thing! Happy writing!
Writing Complex Dissociation: Which Disorder Does (/Should) My Character Have?
I want to say first and foremost that not all dissociative disorders inherently make someone a system. Not even dissociative tendencies. You can have complex PTSD, for example, and dissociate a lot, and not be a system. In the same way you can have a dissociative disorder and not be a system -- the only subtype of OSDD that implies systemhood is OSDD-1; types 2, 3, and 4 don't.
Dissociation on its own is a symptom of a lot of things, and we all experience mild forms of it daily throughout our lives (ex: sleep/wake transition stage, getting lost in thought). It is the structural elements, interference in day-to-day life, and the complexity of said dissociation that inform whether 1) someone's dissociation is disabling, and 2) whether that disability is related to systemhood. This post is going to be centering writing system characters in particular.
DID, P-DID, and OSDD-1 are all complex disorders that are all too often simplified and demonized in stories meant to "include" us. Taking the first step into doing proper research is already miles above what most people do, and I and so many others appreciate that!
And I'm glad you're starting here, with what you're going to be writing in particular.
That said: even if you don't want to outright say in direct words what your dissociative character has, and would rather show it subtextually, it'd be good to have an idea so you have a framework to build off of, and so you have a consistent, well-established facet of your OC's identity.
DID, OSDD, P-DID - What's the Difference?
Good question! And it's important to note before anything else that the diagnostic criteria for something like DID versus, say, OSDD-1, will vary in some ways depending on where you live! In one country, what is considered OSDD might be read as DID if the exact same person is seen somewhere else!
Systems and dissociative disorders ARE observed globally. This is not a "Western phenomenon" or "something US Americans made up" -- DID has been observed as far south or east as South Africa, Australia, Japan. Population ratios between those with DID and without it are also very consistent in countries that have performed that research!
(It is very much a worldwide thing, and very much an intersectional thing. We are not all Cis White Man From Boston. Just doesn't work that way!)
And on top of that, covert dissociative disorders can be incredibly hard to diagnose due to how well they can slip under the radar or mask as other things. Standalone PTSD, personality disorders, that sort of thing -- the lines can be very blurry, and what you're seen as to a professional can vary from PTSD to DID to OSDD depending on how you present that day. So cases aren't often clear-cut, especially not from an outside point of view!
By no means am I making a comprehensive post here, but it's good to have a baseline idea for the differences so that you can do more applicable research moving forward. This is generally what those differences compose of:
[Long post (VERY long post) under the cut!]
I have to finish reformatting everything and adding an updated conclusion, but I'm working on getting this posted as a free guide on my Patreon page. I'm busy as hell today so I won't say exactly when it's going live, but I'm aiming to have it up by the end of the week. Patreon's text editor doesn't like it when I paste in big blocks of text, so everybody cross your fingers it doesn't keep freezing on me.
How to write a character with aspd ~ from someone with aspd
This is obviously only my point of view and I am only talking about my personal experience with aspd here and how I would write it!!!
Its possible for the character to have a good relationship with one or both of their parents! The root of abuse doesn't always have to be the own home, theres so much more than that but for the character to have aspd there should be some traumatic events in the past.
These traumatic events can go from physical- to sexual- and emotional abuse. Your character doesn't need to get beaten up or sexually assaulted, sometimes its enough to not hear "I love you" from your parents or to get less attention because of younger siblings.
One symptom of aspd that many of us experience is chronic boredom where even your favourite activities get boring after a few minutes. Make your character struggle with finding something to do that keeps them entertained. Make them switch hobbies, sports, music instruments, all of that.
Having aspd doesn't always mean that the person is stone cold and doesn't care about others. Some of us don't have any empathy at all and don't care about other people but theres also the ones who care about a certain amount of people and who are able to feel empathy for them. Create a character who loves his family and friends and wants to protect them at all costs, but chooses different ways than "normal" characters would ( "normal" = people without a mental illness in this case.
Show them having difficulties with social interaction, getting tired of conversations, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to calm people down who cry, getting pissed when people talk all the time. BUT show them still trying to get better at it, show them practising phrases or emotional reactions. (Thats basically what I did as soon as I got behind my diagnosis)
Don't make them the bad guy or the villain or an abuser. Make them the hero, the heros best friend, the love interest, give them some good representation while still showing the struggles of the disorder
Show them going to therapy, getting help, talking about their problems and working on themselves. Show them reaching out to others when they need it
People with aspd still experience all of the emotions a normal human being does. Show them being sad, happy, frustrated, embarassed, angry, jealous, hyperactive and so on but make sure to point out that its sometimes not easy for them to access those emotions and that they might react later or only in private
Normalize the intrusive thoughts! Make the character talk about those and show that they don't make them a bad person. Please just point out that they can still be a good and nice human being even if they have thoughts about killing other people or hurting someone.
Let them have a pet they adore, a song they dance to, a book they could read 100 times, a special food they would kill for. Show your readers that we are just normal people with a collection of symptoms that can be hidden perfectly
Some of us might get in trouble more often than others, have problems with authority especially teachers or parents or commit a crime. It is perfectly fine to show that we are more likely to have / do something like that. You can even show that we don't always really regret the thing and do it impulsively but at the same time normalize us wanting to get better. Us apologizing, trying to find different ways to cope that aren't illegal and that it can be a huge struggle.
We are not broken angels who deserve to be treated like fredgile little babys but we also dont deserve always being the villain or bad guy. Give us some other characters who adapted to society and try their best to just live a normal life. Make sure to point out that its possible but that it can be incredibly hard
Thats everything I can think of at the moment and I repeat: This is only my personal experience with the disorder and just some aspects of it. People with aspd, feel free to add, whatever you think is important too, lets create a little list so writers will not just show us as the villain without a family who kills for fun.
theres a tiktok art challenge where you shuffle your music and make a character
1st song: the singers gender is the gender of your character 2nd: the genre of the song determines their fashion sense 3rd: the lyrics of this song are their personality 4th: the album cover is the colour palette
my song list was:
1: boys wanna be her - peaches 2: all the stars - sza + Kendrick Lamar 3: smells like teen spirit - saint Mesa cover 4: lonely boy - black keys
i LOVED doing this and researching afro futurism fashion for the style of this character, I’m imagining her as an anti hero / villain turned good. She uses smoke bombs and gases as a weapon!