Viva La Pluto, Fuck This

@vivalaplutofuckthis

Angry about stranger things

4,261 posts

It's 3am, I look like a possum in the middle of the road, but it was SO SO SO WORTH IT!!! (I'm so proud I could cry ♡♡♡)

...And this is just a preview👀✨️

🔥⚠️ HEATED RIVALRY SPOILERS ALERT ⚠️🔥

[Because my brain needed this. So I drew it.]

LET ARTISTS BE.

✨️

some college byler stuff yay

cleradin

Where's the heart I was dreaming of?

based on this tweet i made as i jumped on the bravebyers bus:

noitsnotacookiee

so byler is ship of the year 🧍

Indecision

i love this au

AHHHHHHHSAHJDGHJASDJGASJLDILURGL YAY

As a married person I do need to tell you all that Shane and Ilya do weird shit all the time.

They routinely have entire conversations where Ilya is very softly smacking Shane's foot the entire time. Shane enjoys the percussive feedback.

Ilya mispronounces the word "Application" and they just sit there mutually whispering 'Aaap-li-caaa-shun' at each other for the next thirty seconds.

Ilya comes up behind Shane while he's trying to make a smoothie and says 'HELPING HANDS' and puts his arms under Shane's armpits.

Ilya sees Shane undressing in the bathroom and yells, "Take it all off!"

Shane carries Anya into the bedroom and holds her over Ilya's chest and moves her paws and says, "Papa it is me. Papa it has been an whole hour since I ate. Papa I am so hungry and sad." then drops her on his stomach.

Shane comes into the home office and grabs a pen off the desk and puts it against Ilya's cheek and says, "Any last words?" and Ilya says, "I wish I had eaten more dumplings."

Ilya spends an entire episode of House Hunters International with his hand down Shane's pants. It's not doing anything in there either it's just keeping warm.

Sometimes they are just mutually awake at three AM for No Reason and they go stand on the porch and stare at the empty street together.

Sometimes they are laying there playing footsie on the couch while on their phones (Parallel play) and Shane says, "Does your mouth ever do that squeezing thing. You know. When you eat." And Ilya says "Explain" and they spend the next ten minutes dissecting whether this is a Human Experience or a Shane Experience.

Sometimes Ilya will put his head on Shane's stomach and say, "Show me your boooones" and wait for Shane to lift his shirt so he can burrow under it.

I just think that we as a fandom need to embrace how Weird married people get about each other. From personal experience I am telling you it is SO FUN.

Some more that I thought of today:

When Shane gets frustrated he's liable to mutter, "One of these fucking days" under his breath. Ilya's job is to respond "Straight to the moon," and mime an uppercut.

Sometimes Ilya gets very excited especially before/after very intense games and in order to release some of this energy he does this WOOP thing with the back of his throat. Shane will respond with an echoing WOOP from wherever he is, even the showers. Sometimes other people on the team will echo them and it becomes a sort of hype-up but Shane and Ilya will even do it when they're alone. If Ilya is particularly excited he will say, "Louder, baby!" and Shane will WOOP again, big grin splitting his face.

Ilya sings songs under his breath and replaces half the lyrics with Shane and Anya's names. After he hears Blinding Lights by The Weeknd for the first time he spends WEEKS just periodically muttering "I said Shaaaane...I'm blinded by the Shaaaane..."

Ilya lays down flat on Shane's back and says, "Do you like this?" and if Shane says, "Yeah," he'll bite the back of his neck and say, "How about now?" And the way Shane responds decides if Ilya puts his hand in his pants or just weighs him down and takes a nap.

Shane holds out his hand to Ilya and says, "Do the thing," and Ilya spends the next three minutes carefully cracking all of Shane's knuckles.

Their finance guy is named Hezekiah Patterson and they ONLY refer to him as Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS. Did you talk to Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS about those assets? Shane, Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS is calling us. We just got a Christmas card from Hezekiah Patterson, AAMS. That was very nice of Heze--

When Yuna calls, before she hangs up Ilya puts the phone under Shane's chin and says, "Tell Mama you love her. Blow her a kiss." If Shane forgets to do it before he hangs up, Ilya calls her back.

my favorite genre of dan and phil pics are the ones where you can see phil in 4k high quality and dan is just a blurry blob

My additions

heated rivalry twitter (45/?) recentering roselana

theconcealedweapon

aslongasitsblack

whoever first pointed out that ilya americanises his accent around other people but not around shane i owe you my fucking life

also the idea of like when its just the two of them ilya can like just slip back into the more comfortable rudimentary accent he had at the start of their relationship :’) and that in itself being nostalgic for shane :’)

this would also be linguistically accurate!

i speak english the most in day to day life and also think in english sometimes. my accent in english is americanized, pretty indistinguishable from a native (excluding sets of certain phonemes like /rl/) .

but if i’m really tired or spending time just around my wife (with whom i speak english), i sometimes switch to what i call ‘lazy english’.

what this usually consists of is i allow myself to speak english with the russian /r/ phoneme that is more natural for me, i drop articles, replace continuous and future tense with simple present, use the ‘….,yes?’ construct, avoid contractions (bc the verb ‘to be’ is dropped/implied in russian, so contractions aren’t always natural)

for example, when i’m in ‘lazy english’ mode, this is how my speech varies:

‘i’m making the bed’ = ‘i make bed’.

‘you’ll help me later, right?’ = ‘you help me later, yes?’ (for this one, in russian, the same phrasal construct ends with the word ‘yes’ instead of the word ‘right’)

‘can you give me a tissue?’ = can you give me tissue?’

‘where’s the pen? do you have it?’ = ‘where is pen? you have?’

if you pay attention, you’ll notice that a lot of these patterns also occur in ilya’s speech, especially earlier on. that’s why i’m particularly impressed with the writing of his dialogue — it doesn’t come across as stereotyping/caricatural because the way he speaks english is consistent with russian linguistic/grammatical rules. this is often how russian-speaking people speak english when it is their second language and they’re still learning.

i like to imagine ilya reverting to ‘lazy english’ or speaking in a similar manner to me around shane. it is linguistically consistent and a sign of comfort/deep familiarity with the person.

The next layer of linguistic accuracy would be for Shane to start occasionally modulating down into a similar "lazy english" that's reflective of Ilya's style. I forget the technical term for this, but it's a legit thing in linguistics -- if there's someone you love/admire/respect and you spend a lot of time with them, you unconsciously start picking up and mirroring a couple aspects of their idiolect (like a dialect but rather than being spoken by a group, it is a single person's unique linguistic fingerprint), whether that's gestures, vocabulary, or speech patterns.

So when Ilya says something like, "Where is pen? You have?" then over time Shane's response might naturally shift towards, "Yes, I have."

aslongasitsblack

he already does this!!!

you still want?

i still want

!!!!!!

hands were shaking at the speed with which i drew this — inspired heavily by this post and obviously recent events

just like. imagine it with me okay. 2013

imagine you have a coworker at the old spaghetti factory and then a year later they're a torchbearer at the olympics

everyone in the league calling ilya an asshole meanwhile he’s apologizing to the bartender for his rowdy teammates, smiling politely at the nurse, playing mermaids with the kids, painting hayden’s kid’s nails and then his own nails to show them that boys can paint their nails too, getting excited over the team puppy, and then spoiling his dog rotten when he finally gets one. sorry but idgaf that he’s mean to grown ass men, they deserve it 😭😭

heated rivalry twitter (7/?) ft married hollanov in celebration of the book 3 announcement

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