Paradise City @vivali - Tumblr Blog

I think I’m depressed.

You’re right.

I’m going to stop caring about it and do me.

Amazing how you’ve known all your life but once it’s spoke, it all of a sudden becomes reality. I guess this is where things start to become complicated.

One day you’ll wake up and realized you’ve went through the entire cycle, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and the day has finally come where you’ve come to terms with acceptance. It’s been a long journey, a little shy of 2 years, but it’s time to move along this rollercoaster of life. I’ve been stuck on this loophole of self-reflection, continuously putting myself down, putting the blame on others and back to myself, ultimately not understanding why it is we live in this world if it all ends eventually. I can no longer dwell on the future, worrying about events I have no control over. Losing sight of my goals and aspirations, I need stop and simply live in the moment. I will always be grateful of the person you taught me to be, of all the meals you’ve fed, of all the beatings and the hard work you put in every summer to grow me the perfect tomatoes I love so much. I will never forget you. I will never forget the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach every time I come across an old memory of you, an old trinket, or every time I hear grandma mention you. I never got to buy you everything I promised but know it will come in due time.

I’m moving on, but I will always and forever love you grandpa.