Your main slice? - Laughs a bit.- Oh, um, yeah, just as ‘bout as well as anyone would expect. But hey, Halloween’s coming up…Maybe that’ll help? What have you been up to?
There was not one single person who would look at Vlad and think he was someone who loved writing. But he did. He liked to write. Sharing his writing with other people? Oh, no, fuck that. That was the part he absolutely couldn't stand. Every time he did, people made fun of him, or gave him weird looks. He didn't give a shit about what they thought, but after so long with dealing with it, it was more than annoying. It pissed him off.
This was different, though. He felt like he had to do this. Since Alexis had fallen comatose, he had sat in the gazebo, every single day for at least six hours, with a notebook in his lap, and a pencil he'd gotten a nurse to give him. And he tried to write something he wouldn't mind sharing. After all, he had told Alexis that he'd travel the world and spread positivity, hadn't he? He'd need to share something of his own work, especially since he had also said, "maybe I'll write a book."
A smile formed on his face as he remembered it. Fuck it, he was sure he could manage it, at least a little. Vlad usually woke up early to watch the sunrise, and so that was when he started writing. Sunrise. The time of new beginnings. A new day, new dreams, new hope. It was fitting, and it was Vlad's favorite part of the day.
The pencil in his hand wrote word after word, after word, filling the pages with thoughts that seemed to flow effortlessly from his head. He made sure to section off certain parts of the notebook as it began to fill faster and faster each day, making short chapters out of each specific section. Honestly, his title names for each chapter were absolute shit, because he had no idea what chapters were supposed to be called. He didn't even know what he was gonna name the book when it was finished. So he just put numbers at the top of each page while he decided on actual names.
Obviously he knew that sharing the entire book was impossible. It was too long, and he couldn't read all of it without getting distracted. So Vlad kept writing until he managed to write the perfect chapter.
He practically ran to the infirmary then, notebook in hand, a grin on his face. He always hated infirmaries, but again, he had to do this. His hazel eyes scanned the bright room for Doctor Edwards, but when he didn't see the older man, he just headed right for Alexis' bed. Vlad didn't think much of her laying there, motionless, comatose. He just sat in the chair provided for any visitors, and opened the notebook to the page he had marked off.
"You look like shit, babe." He grinned at her as he looked her over twice. The grin didn't fade because he wouldn't allow it to. It was sad as fuck, seeing five people he had grown to like (some more than others) laying there like that. Sad as fuck, but there was enough sadness in that big room. So he, sitting there healthy as anything, wasn't going to contribute to it. "I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonna read you something. Don't laugh at me, though, or I'll kick your ass, I swear. It's not as good as like...that chick who wrote Harry Potter, but uh, I tried."
Vlad glanced down at the page, filled with his own words, and he started to read:
"Everyone thinks that its like this: "when things change, i'll be happy". Everyone thinks that its the world propeling a shitstorm of problems into their lives, and that once that stops, once that changes...they'll be happy. But what if it never fixs itself? What if that isnt how it works? The universe isnt just gonna decide to change because its bored or something. Things arent gonna change and if they do, what happens if they change too late? You could be waiting for so long until "things change." And you could give up. You could decide it isnt worth waiting for. Or. Or you could make them change.
Everyone thinks its: "when things change, i'll be happy." But what if it isn't?
What if its: "when i'm happy, things will change."
The universe doesnt control us. No one can control us. The universe isnt sitting there with a remote that turns us from sad to angry to given up. No one else can decide that. Its up to you, and up to me, and its up to us. We cant let the universe and the people around us and the things that happen decide what we are or how things are gonna be.
Its just like eating or sleeping or anything else we mindlessly do. We tell ourselves to do it. We're the only ones who can control us. And the minute you let someone else take over that job, is the minute things are not going to change. Because think about it: just because things change doesnt mean we'll be happy with how they change. Just because someone else steps in, doesnt mean we're gonna agree with how they run our life.
But when you're happy? Its like the entire world is yours to command. You can do anything. Happiness is like opening the curtain of a window to a sunny day and letting the light fill the room, letting the warmth of the sun hit your skin. Theres so much more to see now that the curtains have been pulled open. No one else is gonna tell you what to look at. You have to open your eyes. You have to look. Besides just because someone tells you what to look at doesnt mean youre gonna like what they tell you to.
Just because someone else knows something that you dont doesnt make them better or smarter or in charge. It just means that person has gone through something you havent. No one is better than anyone else. We all just have to learn from each other. Everyone has something to learn, and everyone has something to teach. Theres a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. We're suposed to listen more than we talk. But that doesnt mean someone else should silence us. The people that surround you are either working with you or against you, and how you interact with these people is how we decide.
In the end everything is up to us. It all depends on what we think. Thoughts are powerful as fuck. It's like this...think of it all like a dresser: when thoughts come to you, you can either put the good thoughts at the top, in the top drawer, where you can easily get to them or you can put the negative ones in the bottom drawer, and slam it shut, never open it again. Every negative thought you have can be replaced with a positive one. But its up to you to use the positive ones to better your life instead of letting the negativity ruin you.
When youre happy, things will change. You just have to let yourself know that its okay to be happy. Its okay to smile and laugh. You never hear anyone say, "I fell in love with his/her frown."
So be happy. Be happy and change things. Don't wait."
Vlad realized that reading it took longer than he originally thought it would but he didn't care. After he reached the last sentences of that section he let out a long breath and then nodded slowly several times, raising his eyes to look at Alexis. He faked a gasp and then chuckled. "Are you laughing at me? You're so rude. You're laughing at me. I'm gonna tell Sebastian you're being rude." He stood from the chair, quickly signed* the inside, front cover of the notebook and placed it on her bedside table. Vlad kissed Alexis' forehead afterwards, before turning, walking over to Damian's bed. "You're a dick."
Then he turned to Nathan's bed, and did the same thing he did to Alexis, kissing the other male's forehead, just to mock him. Vlad chuckled, ruffled Nathan's hair lightly and bounded from the infirmary, whistling a song as he left.
(*vlads signature:
probably a heart, a peace sign, and a smiley face after it or some shit)
Huh? No, nahhhhh. At least not right now. I'm actually writing something and I wanna wait till it's done and then I'm gonna visit. Plus everyone just got there and it's too soon, man. Plus I'm writing something. I think I just said that.
But they're alive, sooooo. You can fix them. Dude, I was so worried, I stayed up all night. But they're alive. That's rad. You must be the best doctor ever.
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