Slav from THIS reality

I'm slav: letting you know that this tumblr blog has different percentages of outcomes and is in this current reality.

[vld-slav]

Hello! I am Slav, and I am… statistically speaking… the universe’s foremost expert in multi-dimensional probabilities!

Some of you may have heard about me from the Paladins. I assisted them during several crucial missions, including escaping a Galra ship (which had a 97.4% chance of failure, by the way—yet here I am, typing on a human website). I specialize in determining which timeline has the highest success probability, although Shiro and the others say I “overthink things.” I disagree! There is no such thing as “overthinking,” only “under-calculating.”

I heard about this “Tumblr” thing from the paladins (Pidge insisted it would be “a controlled environment” for me—this is incorrect, but I am embracing the chaos as an experiment). So I decided to make an account! I will be answering questions, posting my multi-dimensional theories, reblogging things that have favorable energy alignments, and learning more about Earth culture—which contains far more cats than I statistically predicted.

About me: I am an Ardussian monk dedicated to understanding probabilities across infinite realities. I have survived explosions, Galra prisons, and Keith’s driving. I also have twelve working arms in theory (only two in this universe, sadly), and my meditation routines ensure that I remain calm… unless something has a failure rate over 40%, which is unacceptable.

I am currently assisting the Coalition, advising them on optimal decision-making strategies (though they do not always follow them, which causes my stress probability to spike). I am also still learning several Earth concepts—why humans willingly drink “energy drinks,” why chairs have only four legs, and why Lance keeps telling me to “just chill.”

Oh! my pronouns are he/him and im asexual. Shiro told me this was important to include for clarity and statistical accuracy.

Feel free to send asks about probability theory, alternate realities, meditation practices, the paladins, or any hypothetical scenario—especially ones involving survival rates. I absolutely adore answering questions! (Questions have a 100% chance of enlightenment.)

…

Slav’s Tags:

#slav asks (I answer an ask)

#slav speaks (my posts)

#slav thoughts (probability-based reblogs)

#ooc post (actual person behind the blog)

Other Tumblr blogs:

@coran-official @hunkg-official @keithk-offc @pidge-holt-offical @tshiro-offc @lance-mcclain-offical @adam-w-official @vld-kaltenecker @lotor-official @matth-official @allura-mice-offc @acxa-offc @veronica-mcclain-official @bom-agent-728 @voltron-counselor @mfe-pilots-official @curtis-ribeiro-official

Thank you for reading! There is a 98.2% chance I will enjoy my time here and a 100% chance I will be flooding @tshiro-offc's ask box for unsafe probability behaviors.

ooc under cut:

my main is @thepurplemurple

-I am a minor

-I will answer ANY asks, don't be embarassed or ashamed (unless its a hate ask)

-I'm just tryna be silly, please don't take anything personally!

-Have fun, cus that's what we're all trying to do! <3

-For legal purposes: IM NOT ACTUALLY THE SLAV FROM VOLTRON :)

-@myredhairisfake runs the rp, so if you wana join let them know!

[vld-slav]

Hey, um, Slav? Whats the percentage change on @bom-agent-728 being alive rn???

in all realities I simply cannot say. but in this one its a... its a lower pecentage-

[vld-slav]

Slav everyone always asks you for the likelihood of things but I wanna know what your fav animal is

There is a 100% chance that its a caterpillar 🐛

[thepurplemurple]

sprained my ankle <3

sorry I haven't been online Im just busy. I still have to do a few nail orders, school, work on strength for soccer so I can get back ASAP, and try and keep up with the socials.

[vld-slav]

(Pss, you forgot to rate the smartness of everyone in the voltron coalition)

Wait- oh my god.

I need to get on that!

Thank you

[vld-slav]

I must know the likelihood of the Galra prince finding my location, particularly within the next thirty days.

this is of utmost importance and urgency.

- @bom-agent-728

30 days... hm let's see

i'd say its a 64% chance since he already knows a few things about you- although he doesn't know how to reach you YET.

[vld-slav]

how likely is it for the mfe pilots to find out about everyone in space on their own before being told??

there is a 50% chance of that happening

half and half since its one way or another

[pidge-holt-offical]

how does it feel being the smartest person on the castle?

Am I? I mean, Coran’s pretty smart too, if you consider smart to include knowledgeable. And don’t forget Hunk. Hes our mechanic and great at his job

Not to mention @vld-slav is on board

[vld-slav]

If you'd like me to rate the smartness of the people you listed by percentages let me know

[vld-slav]

everyone, I have figured out what Christmas is!

The meaning of Christmas centers on something religious called Jesus that the earthlings worship. blending religious significance with secular traditions like gift-giving, trees, and Santa Claus. Essentially, it's about remembering the arrival of the "Savior" and embracing themes of peace, generosity, and connection with loved ones. 

They make sure EVERYONE is included!

Main Christmas activities center around decorating, gift-giving, special foods, family gatherings, holiday entertainment (movies, music, lights), and religious/community events like church or parades, with many traditions involving baking cookies, visiting Santa, decorating trees, watching classic films, and sharing festive meals with loved ones!

Hope this helped!!!

@coran-official @hunkg-official @keithk-offc @pidge-holt-offical @tshiro-offc @lance-mcclain-offical @adam-w-official @vld-kaltenecker @lotor-offc @matth-official @allura-mice-offc @acxa-offc @veronica-mcclain-official @bom-agent-728 @voltron-counselor

[vld-slav]

Slav what are the chances you and Shiro will make ou-

gets shot and dies

uhm….

I shall not answer THAT question about @tshiro-offc

maybe in another reality

[vld-slav]

What is the likelihood in percentage of each paladin to double cross the blade of marmora in order of least likely to betray to most likely

Please include Mister Coran and the mice and princess in your calculations

This question is for research purposes

@hunkg-official 7%

@coran-official 5%

@lance-mcclain-offical 11%

@pidge-holt-offical 15%

@tshiro-offc 17%

@keithk-offc 20%

allura 28%

mice 35%

and why not myself: 78%

[tshiro-offc]

...My disliking for you just reached new levels I never once thought they could reach

[vld-slav]

what is your disliking percentage now- a 67% ???

(ooc: sorry I can't help the brainrot)

All for my safety shiro- you are not being safe at all with your measly 17%

[lotor-offc]

you hurt agent 728 I swear I will FIND YOU

This has nothing to do with you….

all of the information will be used for a good cause

[bom-agent-728]

This is it, I'm done for for sure

[vld-slav]

I TOLD YOU GUYS THAT THERE IS WAY TO MANY CATS ON THIS PLATFORM

[vld-slav]

What is the likelyhood of the bom agent 728 giving out their collected research on Voltron to the Galra Empire?

(if he's asking nasty questions, then he shouldn't be left out!)

hmmmmmm...

I don't know a lot about 728 besdies that lotor is planning something about him-

I'll estimate though- lets go with a solid 50% chance

either one way or the other

[vld-slav]

So I am to understand that you are MORE likely to beytray the blade than stand with them?!

Just how much authority do you hold over the inner workings of Voltron!? How long have they considered you an ally, and how long have you been plotting the DESTRUCTION of our allyship?!

This question is for research purposes

you see- the blade is VERY dangerous and my probability of surviving a VERY low percentage-

[vld-slav]

What is the likelihood in percentage of each paladin to double cross the blade of marmora in order of least likely to betray to most likely

Please include Mister Coran and the mice and princess in your calculations

This question is for research purposes

@hunkg-official 7%

@coran-official 5%

@lance-mcclain-offical 11%

@pidge-holt-offical 15%

@tshiro-offc 17%

@keithk-offc 20%

allura 28%

mice 35%

and why not myself: 78%

[vld-slav]

Sooo you know about like, alternative universes and stuff right?

What's the worst one you've ever calculated?

defintly the one where I ran into @keithk-offc and @lance-mcclain-offical making out in the castle pool... that was not a very good memeory

or you know the one I almost died in, you choose.

[keithk-offc]

Are you really comparing runing into us with almost dying? Like, unironically?

don't get me wrong I bet it wasn't a pleasant thing to think about, but you might be exaggerating

[vld-slav]

there 15.46% of being almost the same… it was my first time seeing someone eat someones else’s face as I’d call it

[vld-slav]

What type of alien even ARE you?

You're just like, a bullshit catepillar w a beak?

uhm… excuse me?!?

I am 100% a smaller Sentient balmera