Anya

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[vmpire-blood]

𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

✧ 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

♰ my name is Anya. (s-her)

♰ i’m 20y and relapsing in my eating disorder. currently living in Netherlands.

♰ this is my personal blog focused on eating disorders. there are many sensitive topics here who may be triggering, feel free to block me but please do not report.

♰ i won’t follow back: minors (below 17), g0re, dr*gs accounts, ana coaches or rude ppl. besides that: let’s be mutuals <3

♰ i do support recovery. do therapy and seek out a nutritionist – it works and you deserve to get the body that you want without demanding your health. i’m here to drop my thoughts and trigger myself. exclusively.

♰ i’m not a native english speaker, thought that i could use this blog to practice, feel free to correct me. do not curse, there’s no need for that – i’m learning.

✧ 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬

✦ SW: 103kg (03/22/24)

✦ CW: 77kg (updated daily)

✦ LW: 48kg

✦ GW: 43kg

✦ H: 1,54m

here’s some extra information and my personal tags below (i use one of them in every post to divide it)

#anya.diaries ♱ = daily progress or just daily observations.

#anya.vent ♱ = venting about any subject (may be triggering)

#anya.diet ♱ = weekly diet tracking, fasting logs…

#anya.inspos ♱ = th1nsp0$ or things that triggers me.

#anya.random ♱ = just random posts, normally kinda funny, sometimes not disorder related.

#anya.mood ♱ = cute th1n$p0 moodboads i make sometimes

[vmpire-blood]

ive been struggling with compulsion lately. eating A LOOOT of bread and sugar (like, im adding sugar to my fucking morning coffee. thats obese behaviour.) so im back, will try to fast my way out of this disgusting habits that ive been following

[vmpire-blood]

im baaaack!

[vmpire-blood]

what are you waiting for? someone to come and do the exercises for you? the fat to magically disappear from your disgusting huge body? why aren’t you doing your cardio routine? this way you’ll never even be a mid, laughable fr.

[strvncowgirl]

fuck hot girl summer, get sk1nn¥ for:

girl next door, phoebe bridgers, rory gilmore, halloween, running on crispy leaves, pumpkin season, autumn <3

[vmpire-blood]

that’s the vibe!!!!!!!!!

[vmpire-blood]

she makes me laugh so muchhhh omg

this girl deserves nothing but pity from me. i’ve always been nice to her, i helped her get the boy that she wanted to, i forgave her even tho she stabbed my back a thousand times through the years, i went out of my way (financially, mentally, physically) just to be a better friend for her.

she always was passive aggressive towards me, always inciting competition between us (i don’t even have to say that ANY friendship based on competition is doomed), and ALWAYS, ALWAYS lied to me and talked shit behind my back.

and now that i thought that she was becoming a better person, improving her life: she acts narcissistic and immature all over again.

well im done with this. for real. she can fucking starve herself to death if she wants to. cut her wrist until all her veins explode idk anymore. im not moving a muscle for our friendship or her wellbeing until she becomes a decent person who’s willing to accept help.

she always acts like she’s sooo better than me just cause she is thinner and it’s laughable honestly bc that’s the ONLY aspect that she’s better than me. if she wants this to be a competition, than i win at everything else. im smarter, im funnier (she basically wouldn’t have any friends if i haven’t dragged her around to meet mine), im still prettier even tho she’s thinner bc she doesn’t know the bare minimum about skincare, haircare and hygiene, im welthier, im described as delicate by every single person that met me because im gentle and well educated (which is something she always wanted to hear from people about her). i can have every single guy that i want bc im good at communicating and flirting (she always has to ask me for help bc she’s not confident flirting alone).

ANYWAY this is not helping anyone, that’s why i don’t like to base my friendships on competition. sorry i got a little bit narcissistic myself back there.

anyway, im just done, mentally exhausted fr.

[vmpire-blood]

a hot take about discipline: so, as i told previously on my blog, i had a tough childhood. my parents haven't even taught me the basic concept of "consent" so you can imagine how hard it was for me understand what discipline is. im 20 years old now. doing a lot of therapy and figuring out a lot of stuff. so it has been like, one month or smth that i understood discipline. and i mean it: YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT IF YOU DON'T HAVE DISCIPLINE. even if you don't want to do exercises, if your plans are just starving yourself until all the fat goes away: that won't work if you can't keep up, if you're not loyal to yourself and your plans until the end. idk why im writing this, most of you probably know this already... but in case you don't, please listen to me and go learn how to be a disciplined person before anything else. this will speed up all your results. 

[vmpire-blood]

do u guys have any go-to exercises to recommend? it can be anything that doesn’t envolve gym or equipment!

[vmpire-blood]

btw im going to purge rn, so excuse me i need to stick my fingers in my throat

[vmpire-blood]

hi bbys im backkkkkk and 5kg thinner!!

[vmpire-blood]

pls let me lose 15kg in may pls pls pls universe im begging u

[vmpire-blood]

trying to understand why i can only feel attraction to older man.

if the guy is my age or less i don’t even bother. but 5 years older and im just all over the place.

daddy issues?

[vmpire-blood]

i mean it: berries are the best thing in this earth. low calorie so so juicy and sweet and just pretty.

im in love

[vmpire-blood]

every version of me is dead and buried in the front yard.

[vmpire-blood]

i miss feeling safe

[vmpire-blood]

i hope she dies tomorrow i really hope pls pls let her overdose and disappear forever idk

[vmpire-blood]

hi… i kept myself under control on the last few days. still following my diet plan.

but im not okay mentally. i was groped yesterday, freaked out and made some deep cuts on my wrist while dissociating. i went to the hospital and they let me go after some stitches.

im not okay. for real.

i need to starve.