Hi everyone! I’ve been meaning to provide an update on video progress, but have struggled to write one because this post is more on the personal side. Unfortunately, my Mephadow video won’t be ready anytime soon. I apologize for the delay - I was genuinely confident that I’d be able to have it uploaded by this week, but truthfully I’ve been struggling a lot with my depression and anxiety these past couple of months. I’ve also been sick these past few weeks and have been trying to recover from that as well.
I want to be transparent with you guys, but I also don’t want to worry any of you. My life is as good as it can be (barring the state of the world, politics and such), and I have a very strong support system. I can assure you that I’m currently in therapy and also taking medication. I’ve been trying to be more consistent with my healthy habits like journaling, walking, etc. and those have also helped. I’ve also managed to get over my fear of losing my audience for not posting for a long time… Which is something I struggled with quite a bit as the channel has grown.
I’ve done a lot of inner work and reflecting on these types of fears. I’m at least happy to say that I’ve reached a point where I’m content with this staying as a hobby rather than trying to be a full time content creator. The thing that matters to me the most is being able to finish what I started. I won’t sacrifice my values or the quality of my work for the sake of staying “relevant”. I want to be able to look back on my life and be proud of the things that I make. So as of now I’m just working at my own pace. With that said, I have no idea when the Mephadow video, or any of my other videos will be ready… But I won’t give up. I will finish them all in due time.
I am sorry that things take longer, and that I fall short on my deadlines. I definitely get overzealous when I make a lot of progress in a short period of time and end up underestimating how long I can maintain that kind of output, as well as how long editing actually takes. I’m trying to do better with properly estimating my progress and timelines. Thanks for reading! I’m sorry that this was a downer update, but I’m very grateful for your patience and support. It is not something I take for granted, so thank you again!
