i could scream forever

fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.

[apatheticalicia]

I wanted to hurt you, but the victory is that I could not stomach it.

Richard Siken (via apatheticalicia)

[heart-not-as-black]

The memories came back in intervals, minute after minute, word after words as Sirius spoke. The French Sirius had once spoken seem to be duller and… corrupted somehow, violated in a way. It was all Sirius had but perhaps they could clean it up, fix it and make it better than what it previously was. At least, that’s what Sirius had hoped for. 

Relief had washed over Sirius when Regulus had nodded their head, but only tears came flooding back out from their eyes. “Shit.” They couldn’t help but smile through the tears at Regulus, letting them fall so they didn’t have to let go of their brother. “Sorry, I guess I’m just really happy. I don’t think I’d ever imagine you’d forgive me.” It was the hard truth that plagued Sirius’s mind in the broad daylight and the darkness of their dreams. The daunting idea that they would lose their brother forever had always hidden itself around the corner, being able to spot in Sirius’s peripheral vision. 

“Desole, it’s gross I know.” Sirius used their shoulder to wipe at their but managed to get only one eye. Their jacket would have to be burned later, but right now it was here to stay, as was Sirius. 

[voicelessprince-blog]

      They hadn’t smiled in so long. Grinned, sure. Smirked, even. But an honest,       genuine smile took too much work, when you were self-conscious about       your mouth. When you were worried that others were constantly looking       at it, that someone -- anyone -- might see what was, or wasn’t, inside.

      They should have smiled. Should have mirrored the teary, overjoyed       expression on their brothers face. Should have made a point of looking       as happy as they supposedly were. 

      Instead, their hands found their way to their pockets and they shrugged,       hoping it would be read as an it’s okay gesture and not a hopeless bid       for something to do. 

[voicelessprince-blog]

fleurdelysxevans:

Lily could hardly tell if she had expected the way they act. It will be a bummer if she messed this up. For once, she’s afraid that they might be upset by what she said; while the last thing she wanted to happen was to offend them. But, she could feel herself filled with relief at their gestures. They showed her that they don’t mind. She couldn’t help but smile as they accepts her offer. It’s a sign that Regulus had accepted her gesture– her effort to fix it.

She nodded at their writings and flashes them another smile. There’s something with this person that piqued her the most. Lived in this shelter was too much for someone to bear; moreover, to live their life through such a thing. She couldn’t help but wonder about what happened to them, but there’s no way for her to ask such a question during their first meeting.

The redhead frowned while trying her best to recall her real reason to be here. Does she need anything? 

                                                                  Does she really need anything?

                            “–No, not really. I think I was lost and I found this room.”

She chuckled before hesitantly waved to the chair nearby, letting them know that she intended to stay– if they let her. 

I wonder if I should leave.. if you needed a time on your own. I don’t mind.. really. Those words hung on the tip of her tongue, but she can’t seem to bring herself to say it. 

      She seemed so nervous. It was hard to ignore it, the way that -- even behind       her perfectly friendly smile -- she seemed to be waiting for the worst with       every passing second. 

      Regulus understood, in a way. Even the people who didn’t know they were       once a Death Eater treated them like a snake they didn’t want to step on       or a wolf they didn’t want to wake. Like if you looked at them wrong, they       would bite. Like their bite was bad enough to destroy.

      Maybe it was. Maybe that was what they were: destruction. Maybe that’s       what this new life meant. Broken apart and held open, exposed to the        point of reacting like a tortured animal. Like any wrong rustle of leaves       might set them off. Maybe they’d spent too long killing to be expected       to do anything else. Maybe any humanity that was left in them had been       ripped out along with the visceral mass of muscle and gore.

      Was that what they wanted to be?

      you’re welcome to stay, they wrote. it gets lonely, down here, with no       one to talk to. 

      They hoped the humor of the statement wasn’t lost in writing.

[heart-not-as-black]

Sirius pulled away after a few seconds and pulled their hair back, chuckling softly. They sniffed and rubbed their face with their sleeve again. That’s something they would have to clean later, or at least burn. Having emotions was messy, and Sirius found it gross that they had excreted so much liquid and slime.

“Shit, sorry.” Sirius used their other hand to wipe their eyes, taking a moment to clear their throat and then fixing themselves. They were going to have to explain to their friends why they were so red and puffy. Sirius gave their brother a small smile, tying their hair up with itself messily. They had hoped they didn’t get anything in their hair during the ordeal. 

“Comme les freres, toujours les freres?” It was a saying they had whispered to each other as children. Sirius had hoped that Regulus remembered.

[voicelessprince-blog]

      The irony was that they didn’t need a tongue to say oui. To reply how       they used to as a child, when Sirius would take their hands and insist:       we’re brothers, no matter what anyone says. There were no consonants,       no sounds to the word that couldn’t be made with just their lips. They       could have answered the way they remembered answering all those        years ago, when they were young and scared and wanted nothing more       than the affirmation that Sirius would always be with them, even if they       didn’t have the same mother, even if some people wouldn’t have        considered them brothers.

      But they didn’t. They didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to open up the       part of themself that -- hesitant and unsure -- was learning to speak       again, learning what they could do with this new life, this new situation.       The part of themself that was tired of coping and was trying to move       on.

      Sirius couldn’t have that part. Sirius hadn’t earned it. 

      Instead, they pressed their lips together in a firm line, something that       could almost have been a smile, and nodded, watching Sirius -- vain,       selfish Sirius who couldn’t stand to look vulnerable for any longer       than they had to -- put themself back together again, like none of it       had happened. 

[heart-not-as-black]

What could be the best analogy for a relationship? Building blocks? Feathers? Yarn or spider webs? Whatever it was, Sirius had been certain that once a relationship broke it would take years and years to mend and even then will it never be the same as it once was. Suppose the proper metaphor that seemed appropriate was a mirror. Paper even but mirrors were more elegant, at least to Sirius. When you look into the mirror you can see yourself but once you break it the entire vision is distorted. That’s what it felt like to ruin a relationship with someone you love. 

While Regulus and Sirius shared minimal physical traits, they were identical in many aspects of their lives. There had been a point in time where Sirius didn’t ever acknowledge the fact they bore the same father and different mothers because what mattered at the end of the day is that they were brothers. Forever.

Sirius hated themselves. Mostly for what they’ve done and more importantly who they are now. The mirror never showed a proper reflection after they had ran away from home. While Sirius blamed it on the mirror itself, it was truly them that changed. 

“Yes.” Sirius nodded and wrapped their arms around Regulus, sniffing ever so softly since they were embarrassed to expose a natural bodily function in such a way. “I promise Reg, I’ll make it up to you and you don’t ever have to forgive me, or even love me but I’ll be a better brother now.” They would work harder, it wasn’t a promise it was just a fact. Sirius would become the brother that was once the shining light in Regulus’s life and be there to always protect him until the day he dies.

[voicelessprince-blog]

      They forced themself not to flinch away from the hug, not to wince at       the wet, unappealing sound of Sirius sniffling in their ear, probably       getting tears and mucus all over their jacket as they pulled Regulus       close. It could have been worse; at least they didn’t have to say        anything -- maybe the first time they’d been grateful for the ready made       excuse not to speak. Not to have to say I understand or I forgive you       or I love you. 

      If Sirius was lying to them, playing sorry to get back into their good       graces for whatever reason, it wouldn’t be Regulus was was the fool       for believing them this time. 

      Standing stock still, however, wasn’t exactly a convincing show, and so       they quickly buried their face in Sirius’ shoulder, like they used to,        returning the hug as seemingly sincerely as they could manage. 

[heart-not-as-black]

Sirius Black didn’t cry. Sirius Black didn’t cry. Is what they heard in their head replaying over and over until it began to become another saying. Sirius Black always cries. They had cried numerous times in their life, times that they’ve never shared with anyone but themselves. It was during those times that they were at their darkest and no amount of tears would mend the mistakes they created. Ever since the Plague was amidst, Sirius had not cried. Everything had built up to this point. Sirius Black was crying. 

They couldn’t get a word out as their nose began to run and all that came out of their mouth were hiccups and sobs. They were at their most vulnerable and they couldn’t help but be embarrassed by it, the shade of red being added to their once pale face. It was the time to rekindle lost brotherhood, lost family despite the many acts to forget what once was. They were going to repair the relationship, until Regulus pushed Sirius away. 

“Reg…” Sirius breathed out, saving his breath for inhaling between sobs. The damage was done, Sirius wouldn’t ever be able to talk to them as a brother, not anymore. It was too late, they made too many mistakes, useless, worthless, disgrace. All these thoughts ran through Sirius’s mind as they felt their heart physically churn within their body, aching in desperation and defeat. “I know you hate me, you probably want me dead right? Wish I was never born? That’s fine with me…” They tried to offer a smile to their sibling, coming out more watery as Sirius wiped their face with their sleeve again. 

“But at least know I’m sorry, I’m sorry fo being the worst brother in the world and the shittest person ever. But if there’s one thing that’s going to happen I’m going to make sure you get out of this alive.” They took a breath, finding the words they wanted to speak slide out. 

[voicelessprince-blog]

      I don’t hate you, they wanted to say. I couldn’t care less about you. It       wasn’t exactly true, but it felt like the right thing to say. It felt worse than       being angry, worse than hating them, worse than wanting them dead or       wishing they were never born.  Because that’s what Sirius had done for        all those years, wasn’t it? Forgotten about them. Didn’t care about them.       Couldn’t be bothered to think about what leaving might have done. 

      They didn’t need Sirius to keep them alive; they didn’t need anyone to       make sure they got out of this alive. They hadn’t had anyone up until       now, but here they were. They’d done it all on their own. They had       survived on their own. And they would keep surviving. 

      Fuck you, they wanted to say. Wanted to walk away from their brother,       to tell them to stop blubbering and get over it already. What’s done is       done, what’s past is past; man up and move on. As insincere as it would       have been, it would have felt right. 

      But, thinking back on their earlier conversation with Caradoc, thinking of       the possibility of finding everything he needed to ensure that Regulus       wouldn’t fall victim to the damn Virus.... maybe having someone in their       debt would be useful. 

      Maybe keeping Sirius in their good graces, forgiving them -- or, making       a show of forgiving them -- would be for the best. Another Protector,        another chance that someone could find the equipment Caradoc        needed on the Surface, another person willing to risk their life walking       into a Death Eater facility for the only thing that could possibly save       their little brother...

      They turned around to face Sirius, putting on a hesitant, skeptical        face. A vulnerable face. The face of a little brother, scared and alone,       in need of protection. The kind of face that said: You will?

[frankiiefrank-blog]

Visit Original Link

[voicelessprince-blog]

I’m bigger than my body I’m colder than this home I’m meaner than my demons I’m bigger than these bones

[lawtcn-blog]

    For the first time in a long time Narcissa felt safe. Safe within the warm     embrace of blood. Her arms instinctivley reached up to embrace the taller     frame– much like they had done in the past. Regulus and Narcissa shared a     bond that little could mirror in the Black family house. It was certainly     apparent after all of this time in the darkest of places. 

    The silence said everything she needed to hear. The torture playing across     their eyes made her stomach clench and for once Narcissa knew she didn’t     want to know. She didn’t want to ask or see what her dear Regulus had gone     through. Part of her knew it would bring too much grief– but part of her knew     it would bring her just as much if she didn’t know. 

        “You don’t have to tell me–”

    She murmered, acceptence of the elder regardless of what happened. Deep     down Narcissa hoped the same applied to her as well. Despite what     happened she’d hope that they would still have eachother, much like they     always did, in the darkest of times. She would be here when Regulus wanted     to tell her what happened. 

        “I missed you all the same.”

[voicelessprince-blog]

      There were a million questions they wanted to ask her. How are you? How       is Andromeda? Did you find her? Is she here? Are you safe, are you happy?       How did you get away without any of the Death Eaters finding you? How       did you find this place? They wanted to know everything they had missed,       every second of it. Everything she had done, in the time she’d been gone.

      Instead, though, they simply took her face in their hand, leaning their       forehead against hers, and closed their eyes, trying to ignore the sensation       of hot tears slipping between their eyelids and down onto their cheeks. 

     They wished they could say that not a day had gone by that they didn’t      think about her, but they couldn’t. There were things that pain distracted      you from, things you forgot; things slipped through the cracks of your      mind when you hurt so much that you were nothing more than a body.      But they had missed her, god how they’d missed her, when they had      enough of themself left to miss anything at all.

           “Cissa,”

      Their voice was hoarse and raw, barely audible, their throat too dry to       be any louder than the barest of whispers. But the letters of her name       came easily, the sibilant consonants all teeth and no tongue. The N at       the beginning would be gone forever, but her childhood nickname was       enough. She was enough. 

[heart-not-as-black]

Sirius’s heart almost skipped a beat as their sibling walked right by. Shit, they were fucking up so badly right now and their one chance - claim - only chance at reuniting with their brother was going to go straight down the drain with the shitty excuse of a conversation starter. There was more that Sirius wanted to say, there was so much that Sirius wanted to cry out but the emotions were all coming at once and they didn’t know how to control the seemingly destructive volcano before it erupts. 

Grabbing onto Regulus’s arm, Sirius pulled themselves forward and wrapped their arms around their one and only sibling. “Fuck, please don’t go, please I promise I’ll say something better but just give me one second okay? Give me one second so I can say how much I’m sorry and how much I fucking hate myself and how much I fucking love you just give me o-one-” Sirius heard themselves stutter and they couldn’t shake away the feeling of their nose heating up. Sirius Black was going to cry. 

They quickly pulled an arm up to their eyes and ran the sleeve across the wet tears, finding it useless as the tears continue to fall down their cheeks. “Fuck just give m-me one moment okay?” Sirius’s face was reddening as every mistake, ever regret and ever wish was catching up to them, stuck in their throat and finding their way to their tear duct. FUCK.

[voicelessprince-blog]

      Their natural instinct was to hug back, to wrap their arms around their       brother and never, ever let go again; they wanted to, so badly that they       could feel it practically burning in their chest. But their mothers words       -- lies -- rang in their ears. Liar, traitor, thinks he's too good for this       fucking family. Spoiled child. He'll say anything to get what he wants.       Entitled brat.

      It wasn't true. None of it was true. Regulus had been telling themself for       years and years and years: none of it was true. They would have left if they       were Sirius, too. They would have left if they'd had to put up with the kind       of shit Walburga put Sirius through, too. They'd done exactly what Regulus       had done, just a few years earlier. Just before it was a matter of life and       death. Just without their brother.

      But those weren't the only words replaying in their mind. Gullible fool,       you'd believe anything he told you, you'd welcome him back to this family       with open arms and watch as he tore you apart, thank him for destroying       you. The words sounded like Walburga's, though Regulus didn't remember       her ever actually saying them. So who had?

      Was it true?

      Could they trust their brother -- practically a stranger, now -- after all these       years? Sirius had always been good at pretending.

      They pushed them away, a little more forcefully then they meant to, hatred       spilling out of them. Maybe not hatred of Sirius, but hatred nonetheless.        Vitriol. They would have spat, if they could, anything to get Sirius away, to       show them how angry they felt. But they couldn’t spit without a tongue.       Couldn’t curse, couldn’t shout. All they could do was push their brother       away.

[fleurdelysxevans-blog]

Being the newcomers, she’s still trying to get used to all of this self introduction thing. But, she can’t decide which of these parts that she found bearable the most; whether it was when she introduce herself or waiting for how they will react. It’s always nice if she gets to know someone in this community. It makes her feel less lonely and being accepted into these foreign yet new place.

Lily could feel herself sighs the moment they took her hand– accept it. It’s almost like she accomplished something. She waited for their part to say his name– at least anything. But, nothing comes from them. For a second, it had occurred in her mind. She wonders about the real reason why they still maintain their silence despite her greeting.·

Then, she watches them pulled out a piece of paper and held it out to her view. Her lips shaped like an·‘O’ as she read what’s written there. She couldn’t help but feel bad for being insensitive toward their condition. She wouldn’t ask any further, she doesn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable around her. It took her a while before finally break another silence between them.

               “–I’m sorry, Regulus. I have no idea.”

She ran her tongue on her lips while her eyes scanned through the room. She found a stack of paper scattered not far from them. Lily reached for them and grab for a pen in her pocket. She handed them to Regulus in a hesitant manner.

                “–I reckon this will make things less.. complicated?”

Of course, she won’t push her luck. It wasn’t a surprise if they won’t accept any of these. It’s for her to blame. Maybe she hadn’t started this right.

[voicelessprince-blog]

      They shrugged at her apology, a half-smile pulling at the corner of       their mouth; the universal gesture for it's fine, I don't mind. Her reaction       was better than most. Some people ignored them; some talked about       them like just because they didn't speak, they couldn't hear either. Some       immediately pried, wanting to know why, what was wrong, how long had       they been like this -- to those people, Regulus liked to stick their tongue       out. Even mostly healed, it was a grotesque sight, and more information       than anyone actually wanted.

      But the redhead -- Lily -- seemed harmless enough. Helpful, even, or at       least trying to be. They took the paper from her and held up their own       pencil. No use wasting ink, not when pens were a precious commodity       used for things more important than casual conversation. Not when a       pencil lasted four times as long if you wrote lightly enough, and sign       language -- which they doubted Lily knew -- didn't waste anything but       energy. 

      thank you, they wrote, still small, along the edge of one page, but a little       more carefully than they usually would have, actually taking out the time       to write out each word. it's not so bad, you don't have to feel guilty.       i'm pretty used to it.

      The last part was a lie. But it was a harmless one. No use making anyone       feel sorry for them, not when there was nothing to be done about it. In       another world, maybe there would have been the resources for something       useful like a speech synthesizing software. Regulus could have been the       next Stephen Hawking. But some things mattered more, now, and some       dreams were gone long before Regulus even had them. 

      did you need something?

[docdearborn-deactivated20151127]

The Go Getter | Caradoc + Open

[docdearborn-deactivated20151127]

If Regulus had been taking the Death Eater cure, it stood to reason that they had been a Death Eater themsef. And with that reasoning, Caradoc figured that he must have knowledge of a Death Eater hideout or two. It wouldn’t make any sense to suggest a mission like this without some source of knowledge on the subject. Maybe they could even lead a group of Protectors to a Death Eater facility, and then through it. The idea was mind boggling at best, suicidal at worst. Given his chosen profession and preference to keep people alive if possible, he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to be apart of a plan like this. Then again, if something like this was going to happen, he didn’t want to not be apart of it.

When he was handed the next question, Caradoc tilted his head from side to side. “Hard to say, without knowing what state everything’s in.” He pointed above them as if to emphasise that he was talking about the surface. There was no telling what kind of condition the various labs that he knew about would be in, and those were the only places he could think of that might be housing a centrifuge or two. He only needed one, and a small one at that.

“You’d find them in labs at universities or at research labs, maybe at a hospital if they were well stocked.” Caradoc couldn’t think of anywhere else that they might be housed, other than the manufacturers themselves.

“They’re about this big,” he told Regulus, in case the other didn’t know. He held out his hands in front of him to indicate the size of a small box. “Lid that opens, kind of looks like a washing machine inside. It separates liquids. It would help me figure out what the cure is made of.” That was a more basic explanation of what it did but he figured that part didn’t matter. Regulus wouldn’t have to operate the centrifuge after all, just acquire one.

[voicelessprince-blog]

      Small box, looks like a washing machine, probably in a lab... seemed       simple enough. Regulus had never been one for science, but they could       handle that much, at least. If there was one out there to be found, they       wouldn't have much trouble picking it out. It was just finding it that was       going to be the problem. Most of the hospitals on the Surface had been       trashed in Death Eater raids, an attempt to stop anyone who might have       been sick from finding anything to keep themselves alive. But labs? There       were enough universities around that one of them must have still had one.       Any number of professional research labs had been taken over by Riddle's       scientists as the Surface was abandoned, but they probably hadn't       bothered with the universities...       The rest would come later; a team with enough guts to break into a Death       Eater facility but enough brains to make it out alive would be hard to come       by, but it wouldn't matter if they didn't have a centrifuge ready and waiting.       And even if Regulus wasn't being sent to the Surface this time around, there       were enough people they could bully into finding what they needed that if       there was a centrifuge to be found, they'd know about it by the time they       did make it to the Surface. 

      But time was of the essence. They couldn't afford to waste time running       errands if every time they left the Facility they were at risk for getting       infected. Things had to be done quickly, efficiently...

      Anything else u would need up there? they wrote. If they could get a list,       salvage whatever they could, it would start to look more plausible, more       possible; if they had everything but the pills, it would start to look stupid       not to try to go get it. 

[heart-not-as-black]

There had been numerous amounts of regret in Sirius’s life that all pertained around another lone star in the galaxy. How could Sirius, the dog star, live up to their given name if they weren’t loyal to those they were closest? Well, suppose they weren’t as close as they were at least. It had been one of Sirius’s biggest regrets to leave their sibling all alone with the darkness they had desperately tried to escape. It was then trying to forget their own sibling was bigger than Sirius’s biggest regrets. It wasn’t something you can easily apologize for; forgive and forget. 

Even when Sirius was still living in the Black manor, they were keeping up a ruse and a planned disguise for their one and only sibling. How could Sirius be a hero when they were constantly scared and selfish, seeking the escape to freedom they had desperately grabbed at?

Friends of friends and those who now we’re Sirius’s new family had told them that it was time to face the past, but when Regulus stood at the end of the hallway Sirius needed to get through? Perhaps it really wasn’t time to talk, perhaps Sirius should turn around and leave. 

No. No? Was it finally time to face the regrets? Face the sibling Sirius had desperately tried to erase from their mind? Sirius wasn’t ready but fuck it they were going to try. It was the least they can do for Regulus who had suffered so much pain and loneliness. Walking down the hall, directly to Regulus, Sirius ran through what they wanted to say. Everything that had built up from the moment they left were surfacing and Sirius could almost feel the words at their throat, rising to be said. They had to be there for their brother, finally talk, finally listen, finally forgive?  Before Sirius could articulate any of their words, they blurted out, 

“What’s up Regulator?” They wanted to die. FUCK.

[voicelessprince-blog]

      There were probably things Sirius could have done to redeem themself.       Ways this conversation could have gone that would have wiped away       the doubt of the past few months, relieved the frustration they’d been       grappling with since they first found their way to the Underground. A        few apologetic words, any demonstration that Sirius was sorry for what       they’d done, for leaving, something to make them believe that Sirius       cared about them...

      They liked to think they had higher standards than that, that it would        take a lot to win them over, that they wouldn’t go running back at the       first sign of affection. But in the face of a welcome as overwhelmingly       disappointing as what’s up, Regulator -- the verbal equivalent of a        poorly executed high five or a defective party popper -- well, fuck,        even a damn hug seemed like a dream in comparison. 

      They gritted their teeth, letting out a frustrated breath as their eyes met       their brother’s, and walked right by. 

[voicelessprince-blog]

      The problem with heroes was that they inevitably disappointed you.

      When Sirius left home, Regulus did their best to keep their memory of       their brother pure and in tact, unharmed by the lies their mother enjoyed       telling when the subject of her half-son came up. And they’d done a damn       good job of it. 

      It wasn’t the stories or the lies that ruined their memories of Sirius. It was       seeing them again, after all these years, and realizing they weren’t the       same person Regulus had idolized for almost their entire life. 

      It was realizing some of the lies were true.

      Seeing Sirius, they were almost grateful they couldn’t speak. Stony silence       was easier than saying all of the things they wanted to, and they knew       their brother wouldn’t have reacted well to frustration that had built in       them for six months of training, six months of avoidance, six months of       understanding that their brother couldn’t be a hero. They were far too       human for that.

      Seeing Sirius walking down the hallway towards them, they didn’t even       want to say a word.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

What the hell is tragedy? I am.

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals (via mirroir)

[docdearborn-deactivated20151127]

The Go Getter | Caradoc + Open

[docdearborn-deactivated20151127]

Caradoc waited. This was more communication than he had ever received from Regulus and whether or not they had chosen him because he was a doctor, he wanted to make sure that line of communication stayed open. Especially if they were going to be talking about Riddle’s people and a potential cure. Caradoc wasn’t even immediately sure who he could take this information to, if it proved useful. Dumbledore himself? That seemed like jumping the gun a little. He’d have to talk to someone else with medical training – he was sure there was someone down here who knew more about chemistry than him, just as he was sure there was someone who knew more about the Death Eaters.

He blinked at the note that was handed back to him, waiting for the words to sink in. A sample of the cure to test? Probably ground breaking. There were a million applications for the cure if they could unlock the secrets of how it worked. Even if it was only a temporary reprieve from the virus, it would be enough to inoculate the Protectors who weren’t immune, to protect babies and children while they were particularly susceptible to the virus. It would be a huge blow to the virus, and its creator.

Which only served to remind Caradoc who held the cure and where.

“That’s crazy,” he told Regulus, shaking his head. “You and I both know there’s only once place we could get our hands on that cure and no one is going to approve an assignment into a Death Eater stronghold. Besides, I don’t have the right equipment down here. I’d need a centrifuge before I could even think about breaking the cure down.”

Still – the importance of the cure couldn’t be denied. “If we could get some, and I stress the if, it could be vital.”

[voicelessprince-blog]

      Crazy.

      Regulus knew it was crazy; even knowing as much as they did about the       Death Eaters, they couldn’t very well go marching back into one of their        bases pretending they belonged there. Everyone knew they were a traitor,       Riddle had made certain of that. Their exile had been the most public event       they could remember since the release of the Virus, and no amount of       remembering patrol routes or analyzing unprotected ways into their facility       would stop them from being killed on sight -- or worse. 

      But there were other ways in. Other people to do the dirty work. They didn’t       have to be the one to break in and grab it if they could mastermind a clear,       clean, and careful enough plan and mark it out in enough detail. Someone       else could handle that part.

      And it had to be worth at least trying to come up with a plan, right? They        would do whatever it took to ensure they didn’t get the Virus. They weren’t       going to die, sick and pitiful and helpless, from some bullshit disease they’d       done everything in their power to prevent themself from getting. Even being       slaughtered by Death Eaters seemed like a better fate than that. 

      But it sounded like getting a sample of the cure was the second step here.       Getting the equipment they’d need was the first. And on the off chance they       would be going to the Surface for their first assignment anyway...

      where would we find a centerfuge, they wrote next, skipping over the       obvious question: what the hell is a centrifuge?

[voicelessprince-blog]

fleurdelysxevans:

Their face indeed familiar to her. Lily was convinced that she had seen them somewhere else before today, yet they never actually interact with one another. There’s even a chance that they had met when they were in the quarantine. Honestly, there were not many things she can remember during her time at the quarantine. Aside from examinations, painful shots, and any kind of tests they run before she can be stated as cleared and manage to blend to the community; there’s nothing come up in her mind.

At their gestures, she offered them a nod before she gets inside. Noting the absence of anyone beside them, only makes her anxious. The girl couldn’t help but wonder whether her presence were expected. She doesn’t want to be considered as rude or insensitive for trespassing through someone’s space. After all, it’s their first meeting– or their first formal meeting, if it’s not really their first.

                          “–I’m Lily.”

She broke the silence while she stretched out her hand for them rather hesitantly and flashes them a smile.

      They always hated this part. The part where people expected them to       talk. It was so much easier when people already knew, because then       they didn’t have to explain, didn’t have to disappoint. There was no       expectation for them to talk, so the fact that they couldn’t -- wouldn’t --       wasn’t a problem. With strangers, with anyone who didn’t know, it was        different.

      Shaking her hand when she offered it was the easy part. So was flashing       her a smile in return to the one that graced her face. All teeth, their smile       now, teeth lined up like a protective barrier hiding the rest of their mouth.       But the silence would last a moment too long, just longer than appropriate,       it always did, and they would be faced with the reality of the situation       once more.

      They carried a piece of paper around just for this kind of thing. For       expediency, or whatever. And they hated it, they really did, but it was       easier than sitting there like an idiot trying to figure out how to introduce       themself while she stared at them like they were stupid or something.       So they dug their hand into their pocket, taking a second to find it, and       then held it out for her to read.

      i’m regulus. i’m mute.

[sunrisesongs]

how to be a monster: 1. learn the taste of dirt and pain. 2. teach it to others till your knuckles bleed. 3. see if that makes it easier to breathe.

rinse and repeat, Amrita C. (via unwrittenarias)