100% vollkorn, 0% bot

german stuff. fandoms. memes. things that make me laugh.

[vollkornbot]

Thank you for reporting this weird ass porn ad ☺️ no, we will not stop showing it to you 🤗 in fact, it's going to be the only ad you see from now on 🥰 yeah, that photo you posted got flagged as mature content because it shows a woman's shoulder 😇

[optimisticrunawaygalaxy]

I Love germans "Da ist hopfen und malz verloren" like man we cant even make beer out of that guy

[vollkornbot]

Welt hat Montag zu :(

[vollkornbot]

"Wenn ich zu meiner Mutter fahre muss ich nicht so viel einpacken, ich hab dort ja noch Klamotten"

2 Tage später: meine Optionen sind Reithose und Schlafanzugoberteil mit einem Pinguin drauf in Größe 158 oder Abiballkleid.

[vollkornbot]

happy pride month to the three pigeons who hang out on my roof and who i've seen fuck in every possible combination

[vollkornbot]

have you ever weighed yourself before and after pooping to see how much you pooped?

yes

no

i am a beautiful delicate flower who doesn't poop

Voting ended onJun 7

(i guess if you've weighed your poop in a different way, like pooping on a kitchen scale, it counts. but also ew.)

[vollkornbot]

this heat has me eating the kind of dinner you'd give to your pet tortoise on its birthday

[vollkornbot]

not sure if i actually think wrinkled linen looks better or if that's just something i tell myself because i'm too lazy to iron 🤨

[ktae]

great things happening over on r/houseofleaves

[vollkornbot]

Peer reviewed comment @axolotine if you poop in there it disappears ✅️

[orpheusilver]

[bravely] i think s7 faith shouldve had pit hair. early seasons sure she might be shaving em to meet heterosexual beauty standards bc hypersexuality but after being an unfuckwithable bisexual in a womens prison she would notttttt give a fuck. give faith her pit hair back & let her dyke out as God intended

[buffygifs]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 7.18 | "Dirty Girls"

[amazoogle]

waiting for my nails to dry affords me the perfect opportunity to do the dishes and organize my sandpaper and steel wool collection and synthesize acetone

[vollkornbot]

Ich wünschte meinem Supermarkt-Ich wäre bewusst, wie sehr mein Zuhause-Ich ein kleines Spaßgetränk zu schätzen weiß. "Ne, das brauch ich nicht", "rausgeschmissenes Geld, ich trink einfach Leitungswasser", "die Tasche ist eh schon so schwer" girl 😒

[musicalmoritz]

How dare you speak to me

I do not think you’ve actually watched Riverdale

[vollkornbot]

Seeing one of those hornyposts with the coloured text and words like daddy and kitten out in the wild is so weird. Because i have seen so many shitposts making fun of them that it always takes two to three reads trying to find the punchline until i realise there is none. Someone is just unironically horny and choosing to express it like that.

[dithschi]

[andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes]

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!