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Also, being on a stimulant is the most sane I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s unbelievable.

Even though, I was on a weak dosage for like 4 months because medication freaks me out. I’m on a higher dose right now and looking back on the last 4 months I was barely focusing on shit. I constantly had to be doing a ton of things at the same time. I was barely getting by at work because I couldn’t digest any reading material. My emotions were out of WACK, I was SO impulsive?? It’s just.

Damn. Thats all ok bye

I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid because I was failing in school, I was insanely reactive and emotional. I went to a therapist and did some intensive work to be diagnosed. I was put on meds for a short period of time, but was taken off because I was essentially a “zombie”.

Last year, I started hearing about ADHD on podcasts. And I wondered if I had it. I was diagnosed about 8 months ago by a nurse practitioner I didn’t really trust. So, I didn’t really think I had it. But I met with a new psychiatrist FOR THREE AND HALF FUCKING HOURS last week. He told me I definitely had it, upped my vyvanse, gave me an article to read (fun fact it took me almost an hour and a half to read it LOL) and I was like ho. ly. shit. THIS IS F U C K I N G ME. WHAT THE FUCK.

Anyway, that was cool and validating.

#ADHD #ADD

I found a therapist that I actually like. I haven’t had a therapist that I actually like since 2011 and I’ve probably seen 4ish since then. I can’t believe. Today she told me that she started a wait list and if I hadn’t called when I did I wouldn’t have been able to see her. I can’t believe it. Wow, I’m so fucking excited