우수게 // USUKE

우수케 22 - CAFÉ WORKER - 'BLOGGER' STUDYING KR/JP/ENG MONITORING PLANET EARTH SINCE 2012

[larmoyante]

私のことを覚えていてほしいの。 私が存在し、こうしてあなたのとなりにいたことをずっと覚えていてくれる？ I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed, and that I stood next to you here like this?

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood (via larmoyante)

[vrscflwr-blog]

pseudonyist:

He often overthought about the small things. It was useful at times to be such a detail orientated person but also one of his worse but best qualities. It made him perfect for his job but a nightmare to be around at other times when he focuses too intently on certain things that often don’t need to be labeled or packaged in a neat organized fashion in the folds of his mind. Relaxing he finds difficult to do and with time he manages to do gradually somewhat with the other even though periodically he does slip back into old habits, catching himself starting at Usuke as if he was trying to piece together the thoughts circling in the other’s mind. At those times he would scold himself and remind himself to be casual, easy going and pleasant to be around even if it didn’t feel like second nature to be so. Just what it was that was in his nature was the reason he built such a persona around himself to begin with. A thing layer of indifference to protect him from the harsh reality that no one would understand what it was he did to survive. He didn’t even understand it at times– a human sympathizer, muddled with hate for himself. But gradually, he reminded, gradually it was getting better and he was beginning to become more condition for this lifestyle. But never perhaps enough to talk to Usuke normally. “Very loud, very talkative, and very excitable flies.” He murmurs in good nature though it probably comes out more cynical. “It doesn’t bther me that much. Just at times makes me uneasy— where I’m from it’s not nearly as … populated.”

It was like silent clockwork, the way Junmyeon lost himself in his thoughts sometimes. Usuke felt almost disappointed that they hadn’t been gifted with the power of mind reading—though those kinds of ideas were always swiftly swept away. Perhaps it was because, for some, finding out exactly what another person is thinking can ruin a relationship, have it torn apart at the seams, stitch by stitch, secret by secret. Not that the humanoid was sceptical of the other, of course not, it was just blind curiosity towards the man he found company in. Naivety, almost. To think their abnormalities came from the same source, that they existed for the same reason. Yet it seemed Usuke was always hasty in locking those complex thoughts away, as if part of the alien knew their thoughts were too pure to contain any sense of the truth. Still, it never stopped them from staying close, spending days together, glued to the others side as if they were without a care in the world. They were just like the rest of them, that way. “ We can go somewhere else, if you think you’d feel better. ” The humanoid suggested with barely a moments hesitation—no mention to the other bitter or mysterious words Junmyeon had muttered—Usuke’s eyes scanning the buzzing streets for a quieter looking path. “ I prefer a little more quiet, too... it’s nice to hear yourself think, let alone save your voice instead of shouting over the... well, everything. ”

[yuliavolchok-deactivated2019021]

[vrscflwr-blog]

ｈｕｒｔｓ| ｓｔａｒｔｅｒｓ

"Never give up, it's such a wonderful life."

"Some things are best left unspoken."

"Do you know how it feels to let you go?"

"I feel so lost."

"Talk to me. Tell me your lies."

"Just take my hands. I'll make it all better."

"I don't feel safe."

"All my life I've felt this way, but I could never find the words to say."

"Since the day I left I see your face in every crowd."

"I feel lust like a sick disease."

"I know you need me too."

"I'm going home."

"Remember when it was just you and me?"

"Don't bring me back to life."

"Such a beautiful lie."

"I need somebody to die for."

"Love is not that easy!"

"Someday when you wake up happy you'll thank the Lord that I'm gone."

"It's a long way down when you're alone."

"I'll forget about you."

"Don't cry, please don't cry."

"I came so close to giving up."

"When I go, you will be someone new."

"There is no turning back."

"I've got nothing left to live for, but no reason yet to die."

"I see you when I close my eyes."

"Can you hear me?"

"I'm tired of being afraid."

"You'll be better off on your own."

"All I want for Christmas is New Year's Day."

"Home is where the heart is."

"You know I love you."

"We all get hurt by love."

"I can't sleep."

"I will give you my devotion until the end of time."

"I have no reason to forgive you."

"I'm afraid of myself."

"Nothing that I do will ever be enough for you."

"I wish that I was stronger."

"I could never live without you."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Why are you out by yourself so late?"

"I'll never leave you again."

"My heart is empty."

"There's nothing left to lose."

"I'd rather be lonely than by your side."

"Look at what you've done!"

"Don't leave tonight."

"I can't hold my head up high with the weight of the world on my shoulders."

"You will never be forgotten with me by your side."

"Carry me away from the pain."

"Is this the end of the love that had just begun?"

"Things we never say are often best left alone."

"I can't cry any more tears."

"I wish I could stay with you tonight."

"Things are going to get better."

"Things aren't going to get better."

"Time waits for no one, so do you want to waste some time tonight?"

"I've been waiting my whole life to tell you how I feel."

"There is no light inside of a broken heart."

"No matter where they take me, death I will survive."

"Don't let go."

"I need you."

"I don't need this life."

"Stay with me. Please."

[vrscflwr-blog]

  “I touch the knots beneath the skin of your back,       trace the tree lines around your wrist,                and you smile at me and I love you                             for how human you are.”

                                              profile - follow - message - reblog

[vrscflwr-blog]

pseudonyist:

【 ... 】─Junmyeon first finds himself comfortable because he can somehow sense that the other isn’t food it gives him a ease of comfort, a delusion of they both share a likeness; that they’re not human. ( but, they only share that one commonality - and enough differences for it to become a problem in the future. ) It’s a nice change compared to the daily struggles of being throw about people he’s destined to always feel…isolated from. Junmyeon finds himself gravitating towards the other’s presence and perhaps making excuses to validate Usuke’s presence in the his life when he’s become so use to going about alone. He shoves his hands in his pockets and decides he ought to quit being so morbid. Even if all the people in his life are only momentary, he can at least enjoy them while they’re there. He could cross those bridges that he worries about most often when it’s needed - for now, he’ll focus on enjoying himself. “I didn’t think there would be so many people here at this time.” he confesses slowly. Otherwise he would have picked another place to meet.

Usuke had forgotten the how, why and when. All they knew was this is where they were, in the now, with Junmyeon. What they had didn’t need a title, acquaintances, friends, more? They’d never taken the time to mention it or define it, they had no need. But the humanoid was certain the two spent enough time together to mean something — at least to them, that is. Junmyeon was far from someone who would discuss how they felt, and Usuke never pushed him to either, maybe it was because they felt the two hadn’t known each other long enough to ask for more, or perhaps the reality was that they were never meant to really know what went on when they were alone… for now that’s how they saw it, and even though the alien would deny it, part of them wanted that to change. Still, it didn’t stop Usuke from slipping their arm around Junmyeon’s, linking them together to make it easy to manoeuvre together, sighing out softly at the others words. “ It’s the first day of Autumn, they’re all over the cool breeze. Reminds me of flies the way they all flock to the same place just because of a change of weather…” And at that the humanoid glanced at the other with a soft smile, giving him the gentlest of nudges. “ Still, we shouldn’t let the crowds bother us, right? ”

[vrscflwr-blog]

cestellar:

       「 ✎ 」

        ❝ I would require more information on the project you are working on in order for me to narrow my search, ❞ she responded in a tone that resembled a matter-of-fact one, but if one were to listen with sharp ears, they would notice that her voice was laced with the faintest hint of warmth. The librarian was no stranger to showing affection but this feeling seemed so foreign now, almost distant – much like her home. And despite the buzzing thrill coursing through her veins and the soft hum resonating in the confinements of her rib cage, her expression remained stoic, professional. Placing the recently checked out books in one corner, she got out of her seat and minced out from behind her desk, stopping a few feet in front of her patron. ❝ Follow me, ❞ came her instruction next as she wasted not a second more before resuming her steps.

        Leading the way, a veil of momentary silence dropped between the two beings; the librarian choosing her next couple of words wisely, though it should be known by now how strongly she felt about the lack of information on her kind. ❝ Most of the astrology books we have dabble too much on how planetary movements affect human behaviour and ultimately, their future. ❞ There was a certain hardness to her soft voice, an edge that was not present in their initial exchange of words. ❝ The only thing that classifies them as astrology are their contents detailing the visibility of stars in the night sky at different periods of the year. ❞ She had at least expected some material about their origins besides the scientific explanation of their birth. It was an injustice to her kind, considering the library’s extensive collection on theology and the various beliefs of mankind.

        Making a swift turn into an isle on her left, just past the one with the sign reading ‘Theology’ above it, her legs carried her towards the end to a row of shelves with empty pockets between wide spines, spaces previously occupied by the books now sitting comfortably on the counter.

        ❝ I am afraid you have taken the last few books that were left unborrowed, ❞ she remarked, eyes scanning title after title on the uppermost shelf until they landed on one pertaining to the visitor’s request. She reached out then, only to have her hand stopping a few inches short. On instinct, she stood on the tips of her toes, hoping they would provide the leverage she needed to retrieve the volume. It did not help much though, and she knew that she would require a stool for this task. Falling back to her feet on flat floor, she faced the visitor, a tinge of redness on pale cheeks as embarrassment seeped into her flesh, she apologised, ❝ If you would excuse me,  I will return to you in a moment. ❞

      “ Ah, ” and that seemed to be the only sound Usuke could muster, not because of the tone of the other— in fact that had barely phased them, because even if it sounded so stern there was something that still illuminated from her, and it left the alien with a glowing, delicate smile upon their lips. “ It’s an extensive project, I don’t know if you’d have time to listen to it all. I could narrow it down to a topic for today, if that would help in any way for you. ” Perhaps it was because Usuke was aware of just how vague their choices were, or the fact that despite the stranger’s impassive professionalism, the humanoid still felt she had a kind soul — even if her instructions that followed suggested otherwise.

     So they followed on, pacing quietly after her across the library. Ears straining to hear her soft voice from behind, they quickened their footsteps only enough to stride alongside her, head nodding shortly to let the librarian know they were listening. “ I’ve found that with a lot of things. Humans write them, so they — we — usually have this innate habit to make sure that everything researched connects to us, even if it doesn’t... Is astrology an interest of yours, by any chance? Does it really have an affect on human behaviour or... their future? ” Usuke was certain they were probably asking a few too many questions for the stranger to really answer anything thoroughly — perhaps she didn’t even care to answer, it seemed she wasn’t happy with the way people had written their astrology books — but the fact was they were intrigued, there was no way astrology affected a person’s fate, it’s like suggesting they had no ability to think for themselves, surely. Why would they, if their future was set in stone from the stars? Or maybe they were just unaware that everything was written for them... Still, something as complex as that wasn’t going to be answered alone, the humanoid knew that much at least. “ So there’s a lot more to it, right, more to astrology and the stars than just the fate of mankind? It sounds like a really interesting topic. ”

     It took a moment for Usuke to realise they were right back where they started, empty spaces evident enough that they’d already taken the best books available — at least until others were returned. “ Perhaps I should just put the other books on hold, if you know the titles of them... ” At least, that was their suggestion until they saw the stranger reaching for the highest shelf, falling quiet with only a polite smile gracing their lips. The humanoid had wanted to suggest they could help, but they realised the other was barely shorter than them, so they waited instead, until the librarian wasn’t in sight to try reaching the book themselves — and as per their expectations, Usuke’s fingertips could only graze the spine of the book. Useless human form. Lips pursed, they glared up at the book in defeat, waiting for her to return.

[pseudonyist-archive-blog]

  IF GOD IS GONE THEN WE ARE OUR OWN CHURCHES.

                                             literate multimuse   ── ✗ ✗ ✗ ✗

[vrscflwr-blog]

whatsthesiitch:

tokiosunset:

People should do more “meet ugly” and less “meet cute”. For example.

“I broke your nose at a mosh pit” AU

“I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU

“You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU

“You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU

“You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver” AU

“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU

“I get really sick on roller-coasters and you had the misfortune of sitting in front of me so, uh… sorry…” AU

“You’re the bastard who keeps parking right in front of my house so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me” AU

“I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU

“You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU

“My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that” AU

“You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU

“This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” AU

[kitarv-deactivated20160225]

                       ART STUDENT -WEBTOON WRITER

                                                follow - reblog - about

[vrscflwr-blog]

lusineinthesky:

[ ♟// patching up a wound ]

It was almost ridiculous how protective she was over the arrangements. Even if it meant shouldering a fall, as long as the flowers weren’t mangled in the process, it was okay. Luckily they were wrapped in plastic and not a glass vase this time around. Still, she couldn’t help but groan, eyes squeezed shut when her body came to a stop, hands catching the steps just before her face could strike one. A stinging sensation was all she needed to know that she hadn’t made it out unscathed this time.

“Ow…” cringed the princess, slowly turning over to sit on the darned step and observe the damage with a heavy plop. With the bouquet in hand, she couldn’t risk getting blood on the order. Before she could really worry about it, a person she’d come to bump into a lot lately came to her rescue. “It’s not your fault; I was careless,” she assured them as she gingerly rose to her feet. Her right knee, which took the brunt of the fall, cracked back into place with a sickening pop. It hurt, but at least things were back where they should be.

Trying not to worry over the injury, Lucy was too stubborn to ask for help and made her way back up those dreaded steps with a determined air. The didn’t mean she felt very good doing it, however. “I don’t want to bother anyone,” she said with a frown. No one wanted to go to a cafe and eat to the site of someone bleeding. “Here, your flowers, I can just take care of it back at the shop.”

“ I insist, honestly... these steps are a hazard in the rain. I’m sorry... I’m getting the owner to replace them soon. ” Usuke carried on, wanting nothing more but to help the other once more. Sure, they were only acquaintances, but the humanoid wanted to know more about the being— besides their clumsiness, that is.  Their hands remained open, arms stretched out lightly in waiting just in case she couldn’t quite make it herself. It seemed the crimson liquid had begun running down her shin, and yet the stranger still hobbled on, more stubborn than Usuke had thought. “Honestly, please... Sit down.” The alien insisted, pulling up one of the chairs just inside. It was clear she wouldn’t take yes for an answer, and so Usuke took the flowers from her hands, placing it on a table, forgotten for the time being as they grasped her hand with delicate fingers, the other hand still tightly gripping on a first aid kid as they indicated to the seat. “Please, it’ll only take a moment... I’ll get you a drink and clean you up. It’s the least I can do. Please.” Their voice had come to sound almost like a plea.  It was a long shot, and probably overkill for just a few grazes, but still... the being needed a little care, and they wanted to do their best to help.

[jessicastrung]

;ich bin da

[vrscflwr-blog]

jessicastrung:

... Jessica’s eyes followed the outstretched arm that invited her in and she gave a dip of her head in thanks - walking ahead with arms wrapped over her front to take refuge from the chilling evening inside. After passing through the threshold of the door, her eyes were quick to take in the décor inside - following the walls and ceiling right up to the counter stationed near the top.

“Hm? Just lots of milk and sugar, please.” She replies, her heels making soft clicks as she wanders forwards across the floor - supposing she should stay somewhat close to the kind stranger. “And please I want to tip you, I’d feel bad for leaving any other way.”

“Ah - yes, please.” She then responds when he offers a call, finally reaching the counter to lean against it on her elbows - hands wrapped up on each other with curious eyes following him. 

Usuke was swift to wipe down the black marble countertop to rid it of crumbs and small coffee stains from the evening’s clean up, their head nodding in understanding, “ Simple coffee, that’s always a good choice. ” They commented with a smile, turning on the coffee machine to make a fresh espresso for the stranger. “ But really, even though I’m not bothered at all by a tip... it seems you’re almost as stubborn as I can be, so... if I really have to, then I’ll take it gratefully. ” Their smile had widened to a toothy grin, before they dialled their bosses number, feeling rude for having to turn their back on the woman while they steamed the milk for her coffee. Multi-tasking wasn’t exactly Usuke’s forte, but they managed enough with their shoulder pressing their phone to their ear, hands holding the metal jug of warming milk as they spoke over the top of the roaring machine. Unaware the other had her eyes on them, the humanoid turned off the machine and hung up their call, breathing out a soft sigh, “ My boss said they were going out of town to visit family. No meeting. ” Usuke explained, adding the milk to their coffee— all the while shaping a leaf out of the foam with a motion of their wrist as they poured. The alien reached for a bowl of sugar before placing her coffee down on the counter. “ I can try calling some more people, if you want. How long was it supposed to be booked for, if you don’t mind me asking? ”

[kanju911-deactivated20190922]

[vrscflwr-blog]

“So, what brings you here?” Raiden asked, taking a sip of his drink as he spoke to the person sitting next to him. It wasn’t everyday that he would encounter someone sitting alone at the bar, so he decided to make conversation. “Are you waiting on somebody?” { vrscflwr }

Usuke still hadn’t quite mastered the art of drinking alcohol, unaware of just how unusual it was to drink alone as opposed to a group. But they didn’t exactly have people to drink with, the problem was that they were only here to observe, and it seemed to have kept them distant— maybe even alone. They didn’t have a group of friends to drink with, and they didn’t favour the liquid poison so much anyway, it was just chance that they decided to kill time finding a drink they preferred. The strangers voice came as a surprise, Usuke’s brow furrowing as they glanced toward them, a small laugh leaving their lips, “ No, I’m not waiting on anyone... ” the humanoid shook their head, draining the last of their drink before their nose had wrinkled, clearly displeased by the flavour in their mouth, “ I’m trying to find a drink I can stand. Everyone has their poison, right? ”

[vrscflwr-blog]

blxssomtears:

「 ✎ 」 Taekwoon deeply wanted to believe that kindness still existed, even after the kindest person he knew had brutally been wiped off the earth. As the days, months, and two years went by, he often times found himself questioning just that. People were loud, and rude, and wouldn’t understand his mannerisms, which he knew had gotten worse ever since the accident. He was slow to react, quiet, hated speaking and reacted to other persons in a way, that had made them call him ‘stupid’, 'a retard’ or the worst, 'a psycho’. He had given up on finding kindness in other people for the most part, so as he heard the other approach, he braced himself for being told to leave the café instantly. As he peered at the scene from the gaps between his fingers, though, he saw the tissues that were being offered to him. It confused him, reality being so different from what he was sure to come, so he stared for another moment, blinking tears away. The waiter looked…. sad. It was hard for him to read other people’s emotions sometimes, but he was very clearly sad, even though Taekwoon’s own sadness hardly had anything to do with him. Slowly, he lowered his hands and reached for the tissues, bowing his head a little, registering that his own tears had stopped falling. “Thank you.” He murmured quietly, gently bowed his head in thanks and pulled a tissue out with trembling fingers to clean his face off the shameful evidence of his small breakdown. Finally, he blowed his nose, so his voice may sound a little clearer again. “You’re very kind.” He commented after having time to formulate the words in his head. “Will you… may I… will you let me have another beverage, even though I’m being like this?”

It was like watching the end of a storm, the way thunder could silence without warning, no faint rumbles or quieting rain. The downpour had simply ceased to be, the stranger’s sorrow suddenly stilled as they took the tissues from Usuke’s hand, leaving the humanoid to return to the arm of the chair opposite once more. This time they didn’t bother with reassurance, it wasn’t needed anymore. Those kind of empty words only truly worked for minuscule troubles, when someone’s just a little teary, not something like this. Taekwoon’s bereavement wouldn’t mend with sorry’s or pats on the back, it didn’t mean Usuke had to give up on him so easily. Of course humans were complex when it came to these kinds of things, and it only made the fragile being all the more intriguing.

The unexpected request that came once the male had calmed himself left the alien’s lips curving into a gentle smile, “ It’s hardly a reason to turn you down. This one’s on me if you promise to buy another before you go. ” Their words were spoken softly as they stood, taking the stranger’s empty cup and making their way over to the counter. Usuke knew they were probably being too kind, almost patronising in a sense, but after their deep conversation into death— well, would it really matter if they were almost sickeningly sweet to the grieving stranger? 

It only took them a few minutes before the humanoid had returned to the other, carefully placing their drink on the table. “ You’re probably not hungry, but... there was a slice left so— you can always take it home if you’d prefer. ” Usuke explained as they placed the slice of strawberry and cream cake on the table, eventually returning to sit across from the male. Clearing their throat, the alien studied the stranger opposite them, another soft smile returning to their lips, “ Are you... feeling any better? ”

[nightscaped-archive]

                                                ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼ ▲ ▼

I held it in to LIVE in this world                                              that I CANNOT throw away…

                                                  [[PROCEED]]

[vrscflwr-blog]

un/deux/trois;

      「 vrscflwr;& lottiepop​ 」       At last, a reasonably cool day. Perfect for sweater shopping. Usuke had been waiting for the season to cool, for autumn to finally roll in, just so they could write a sweater trend post for their blog. No, it definitely wasn’t a necessity, nor was it vital for their human research, but damn, was it a hobby that the humanoid loved wholeheartedly. It was easy to become lost in, to see through the human eye and to explore some of their crafting abilities, per say. Admiring the softer sunshine, the alien leaned back against the bench, head lolling against the edge to feel the gentle rays on their face. Letting a few moments pass, Usuke raised their phone, shielding the glass from the sun to type out a short text:

[ darling queen ]; 야!!! 어디야ㅏㅏㅏㅏ? 빨리빨리 ㅋㅋㅋ ☀~~

Of course, they didn’t mean it... and the humanoid knew the other wouldn’t take the informal text seriously, especially since Usuke was early, in fact. Clearly far too eager to begin the shopping trip they had planned for weeks with Lottie. Not to mention, with the cooler weather settling, the two might just be able to fit a photo shoot in before sundown, and of course the other probably didn’t care much for it, but Usuke was thrilled at the idea of it all.