Idk why Iām here...
Iāve been in such a shitty mood, even the littlest thing will set me off. I hate my relationship and I have no one to talk about it to because EVERYONE knows I shouldāve never took him back. I want to believe heās changing or has changed because he talks a good game. But idk. Maybe he just got a lot better at hiding it. Thatās what he did the last time. Jan of 2017, I knew in my gut something was wrong and he was up to no good. So I did some digging and found some Craigslist ads looking for someone to have sex with and invited them to our home that we shared together. He replied to NUMEROUS Craigslist ads for a hookup and sent a dick pic and a pic of himself plus our home location inviting multiple strangers to our home we share with our kids. But what really hurt is that I found out he was emotionally cheating on me with some chick he met at work (the job my mom got him and that my mom worked at also). He was talking to this girl for hours every night while he was at work and during the day while I was at work. Yes, she knew about me and our family and he told her that he wasnāt happy and he was only with me for the kids and that he was helping me out by letting me stay with him. Mind you, I was the bread winner, he was driving my car around and I paid the majority of the bills (about 75% of them). The messages between the two of the broke my heart. He was talking and treating her the way that Iāve longed for from him. He treated her the way I havenāt experienced in years since before him. Iām 100% sure that if she didnāt live in Arizona, he wouldāve left me for her. He did actually. He asked me if we could be roommates. I was so heart broken, I dropped to my knees and begged him to stay With me. I did all sorts of things... Bought new lingerie, tried different sex positions etc. treated him EXTRA special because to me it was my fault. It was me of why he did what he did, it was my fault. I was so depressed, I even had suicidal thoughts. It hurt me to my core and trust me this isnāt the first time heās done something like this to me either. The night I found out, I went the his work phone. I was trying to call the girl and he tackled me to get the phone back so I wouldnāt. Even broke a nail and had a few bruises because he did that. He even got mad that I called her ugly. All that told me that he really really liked this chick. I spoke with the coward bitch and she lied to me saying she didnāt know about me but come to find out, she did know. But she was the one that told me that he said that he was just helping me out. He talked so bad about me(according to her). But theyāre both liars.
6-7 months down the line. I pretended to be here and he told āherā he wanted to be with her ābut sheās all the way over thereā and that he missed her and thought about her a lotā. Mind you this is after I left him and he begged for me back. And like the dumb ass that I am... well ya know the rest. But thatās for another story.