Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)
nope 😭 i'm just pansexual . i have a sexual & personality based attraction to women but i'm not lesbian, shout out to my she, theys, and general gays who are 💗
i feel so sucky i couldnt finish writing for you all :(( this week has been so long and emotionally draining i've just been going through it. im off for 4 days after tomorrow night so if i dont have something up by then or 2 somethings yall get to have free target practice on me <3
summary: It's the morning after you and bucky's drunken night together, and you think it's finally time that you address what happened.
pairings: best friend!bucky x fem!reader
tags: fluffy, sensual touch, light angst , vulgar language 𐑺
[ READ PART 1 HERE!!!]
a/n: it's taken a little long to get this part out to you all, but thank you for reading and indulging and even loving my content thus far, and giving so much love to 'stupor' & 'desperada' it's absolutely overwhelming! ALSO, consider this a THANK YOU GIFT FOR OUR 200 FOLLOWER MILESTONE! I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH 🥺 Please enjoy and i'll be posting again soon. much love darlings <33
word count: 1.7K
Last night’s sleep took you under its wing quickly, allowing you to rest your thoughts as well as your eyes for at least another few hours. And you relished in it. Each breath you took of the frigid air around you only allowed you to sink even deeper into your slumber. You barely found pleasure in your usual tossing and turning, which you did every night because if you made even the slightest movement you were sure to wake Bucky. Though, he must sleep like a rock if he was unaware of your current circumstances.
Fortunately enough, you did not feel him stir in the night or shift awkwardly at all. The two of you stayed perfectly in sync with the other, adjusting position as needed, but he never relinquished you from his hold. And you liked it that way. However, a part of you cursed yourself for even thinking of Bucky like this— finding comfort in canoodling with him in the first place. But you couldn't help it, you were a sucker for many things and this may just as well be one of them.
The faint sounds of birds chirping outside of your window were only the precursor to the blaring car horns and irritated traffic-goers that welcomed you to the new day. The sky beckoned the sun forth from its rest, its bright blades piercing crudely through the blinds in an attempt to wake you. You winced from the obnoxious beams that burned your eyelids— bringing your hand up to block them from your face. You would turn over if you could, but there was still a large oaf of a man that was steadily crushing you with his weight.
Bucky’s soft snoring rumbled against your chest in small intervals. He would occasionally fix the position of his head that would sink him further into your breasts, making you go rigid—your hair sticking up on its ends like a frightened kitten, but then you found some comfort in it, relaxing back into your skin, embracing his touch as if you have starved of it yourself, which, actually wasn’t too far off. This kind of intimate touch became foreign to you, since being an agent wasn't the most inviting job in the world, and you never have time for much else other than work. Things such as love and even occasional hook-ups were obsolete. You risked your life every day, but you could never risk the life of somebody you loved so you swore yourself free of relationships. Despite the cons, if it wasn't for your current employment, you never would have met Bucky at all.
Glancing down at him sleeping just as peacefully as last time, your palm connected to his soft skin as you released a breath that had been sealed away in your lungs for too long. His skin was so smooth, considering the full tactical attire he wore daily, you would assume his flesh would be a bit rougher to the touch, but it lacked flaws no matter where the pads of your fingers landed. Your fingers climbed over the hill of his shoulders and trailed south of his spine, following the slight curve that met the middle of his back before the rest of his torso disappeared under the blanket. You followed the same path and used your hand to travel up again towards the nape of his neck. He shivered a little, his muscles tensing at the sensation. You watched his bones bulge at the behest of your finger before settling once more.
“Ugh.. just a few more minutes..” a deep, groggy voice chimed.
You were taken aback by how deep his voice was. It was oddly attractive. “Well, good morning to you too.”
Bucky groaned. “Y/N? Is that you? What are y-” He started pulling himself up off of you, both of his arms relinquishing your frame from their hold.
Your eyes did not move from him as his features tightened because of his sudden awakening. He took a deep breath and glanced around the room for a moment, taking in the space around him before returning to meet your eyes. He stared into them for a moment like he was studying them, working his sight down towards your semi-exposed breasts and his shirtless frame between your thighs.
You could see the gears turning in his head until it clicked. His face flushed of all color as his eyes flickered nervously across your face and body. “Shit.. did I- did we?”
You simply shrugged, not sure of the answer to that question yourself. Nothing about last night was crystal clear.
“That's what I was hoping you knew the answer to.” You replied, sitting up onto your elbows.
“Fuck.” Bucky crashed down into the space beside you and ran his hand across his face. He seemed just as stressed and confused as you had assumed him to be earlier. But he wasn't running away from it. He just seemed to be processing it.
Flipping over onto your side to face him, you watched his face for any change in expression, but he gave you nothing for a while. Just stared up at the ceiling fan that whirred overhead.
“I’m surprised you are as calm as you are right now.” He prodded.
“Don't be. I've been freaking out on the inside.” you retorted. “I’m surprised, you’re not running around with your head cut off either.”
“Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are. It’s not everyday you wake up naked next to your best friend in their own bed.”
You scoffed. “Tell me about it. Do you remember anything?”
“Some things, it's still pretty foggy.” He stopped to think for a moment.
“ I remember..us getting a few drinks after a job. We left the others at the bar while we caught a taxi back to your place? And thennnnn.. .” Bucky paused for a moment— a mischievous grin grew on his face from whatever memory he just had. He turned to you and smirked.
“You kissed me.”
If there was a button you could use to blow up the entire world at that moment, you probably would have. You mentally slapped yourself over and over and over again, calling yourself a dumbass for even trying it with him in the first place. You took the pillow that you were laying back on and slammed it over your face to hide from the embarrassment.
You could hear Bucky belly laughing beside you as if you needed him to cause you any more emotional pain.
“Real funny Barnes...”.
“Hey, hey, hey. Doll,” he started, trying to hide his laughter. He sat up on his elbows and removed the pillow from your face. His hand rested on your cheek, pulling your face to look at him. “take a breath. These things happen. It's not that big a deal. For all you know, that could have been it.”
“Not a big deal? I came onto you while we were drunk and I don't even remember it, and on top of that, we’re almost completely naked.”
“Well… good point. And let's blame your memory loss on the liquor and not me being incompetent.” he teased.
“I’m serious, Buck. What if this ruins our friendship?”
Bucky hushed you immediately and brushed his thumb across your cheeks. “As long as I’m alive, nothing will ruin us. Also, our bond is a lot stronger than you think, I don't fear a little slip will break it. Okay?”
You relaxed into his hold, shutting your eyes briefly as he caressed your skin. Maybe he was right. You loved him enough to not throw everything you had built together away because of a slip. Though you still had your reservations, you still believed in the strength of what love both of you had for each other, and that was enough. You and he were an inseparable pair bonded by a common want to keep each other safe. You protected each other, you looked after one another. And that was something you never wanted to lose.
“You’re right. I just- you know. I care about you.”
Bucky placed his hand on his heart and looked at you with the widest puppy dog eyes he had in his arsenal and flashed you with them. “That's the sweetest compliment you've ever given me. I half expected you to call me a dumbass like always.”
You laughed and mushed his shoulder. “Not my fault. I call it as I see it, Barnes.”
“I see why everyone says you’re not a morning person.”
“Ugh, shut up.”
“Seriously though, even if we did do something last night, I don’t regret it in the slightest.”
“Neither do I. If anything, I’m glad it was you.” You replied, looking to him for approval, but you were instead greeted with a sly grin.
You realized what you said and how you said it and immediately felt the repercussions. Your cheeks flushed with color and warmth instantly as you turned away from him and scratched your neck. “Well-! I just mean, I’m glad it was you and not some random guy-”
“Y/N.” He said, stopping you in your tracks by placing his hand on top of yours. “I feel the same way. No matter what way things go, I’ll never stop caring about you. You're stuck with me, so suck it up.”
A gentle sigh of relief fell from your lips once he said that to you. All the preconceived notions you had in your head began to disperse and made room for your new reality. It wasn't how you planned for things to go, but as long as he was there to help guide you through this new phase in your friendship, you were certain that there was nothing that could tear the two of you apart.
“Now if you’re done with your mini-existential-crisis. Daddy needs his cuddles.” He teased, opening his arms out wide for you.
Against your better judgement and a smack of your teeth, you did as he requested and snuggled into the spot he left open for you, laying your head underneath his chin and wrapping yourself around him. Bucky did the same, leaving his hands on your bare back and tracing over your flesh.
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