My name is Lee :) I’m 25, I’m the owner of the blog and I have no idea wtf I’m doing with my life. I came here to escape reality, talk to my anons, mutual and even myself. I’m a writer (clearly) and I’m deeply in love with Bucky Barnes (surprise surprise) This blog is really just a shit show but it’s a fun one!
Please keep in mind that I work full time as well as being in school. The fics may not come out as fast as either of us wish them to, but I’m trying my best. It’d be ideal to drop at least one fic a week on my off days, but no promises. I’m completely open to the idea of doing drabbles throughout the week/when I’m not busy. I am human and I have a life.
About my Blog
I always try to be as open and nice as I possibly can. I love talking to everyone and making new friends. I always want my blog to be a safe place where everyone can come and have fun. I swear I don’t bite, don’t be afraid to come talk!
We do not discriminate here, nor do I tolerate any bullying or shaming. Yes, there are certain topics that I don’t feel comfortable discussing or there’s things I don’t necessarily agree with, but do not think that mean my blog is a place for you to bash others. Racism, homophobia, shaming, etc is absolutely not tolerated, you will be blocked.
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Tags you’ll be seeing often
personal ➶ - Me talking about my personal life. Mostly just random thoughts and rants
marvel chats - We talk about any and everything marvel
lee watches stuff - I live react to any movie/tv show I watch or get recommended to watch
lees nsfw things - I mean, well.
lees celebration - when I hit a new followers milestone
sad girl hours - me being sad passed the hours of 9pm.
lil nasties - for my nasty anons who likes to send me Thanos smut
Hi pookies, I’m currently recovering from a medical emergency, I promise I’m not disappearing. Just unfortunate timing. I am okay though 😭 I’ll be back soon
Summary - After finding out probably some of the best news of your life, it’s accompanied by the worst.
A/n - I worked on this for months and it’s still shitty. I’m so sorry for anybody who reads this lmfao. Also the ending is rushed as hell
Category - Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Warnings - angst, they say I love you a lot, the whole fic is a warning tbh
Word Count - 1.8k
♡♡♡♡
The silence filled the room of the small hut that sat in the fields of Wakanda. Bucky sitting next to you, thigh to thigh with his arm draped over your shoulders, thumb softly stroking your skin as the both of you stared out the window into the dark starry night. His eyes fell over to you every once, looking over your facial expressions, searching for any sign of emotion besides the scared one that was written all over your face, clear as day.
You leaned into him, nodding at his words. You knew he would be there for you no matter what and you didn’t need to hear him say it, but he did and it meant the world to you. You took a deep breath, reaching up to grab the plastic stick that sat on the table for the last five minutes. You waited a few moments before you flipped the test over, releasing a quiet sob at the results, “It’s positive, Bucky.” Your teary eyes met his, already staring at the test in your hands.
Too many emotions flowed through Bucky’s body for him to count, but there was one that outweighed all of them. Happiness. Bucky was happy. He was happy with you, he was happy with his current life in wakanda, and how he could be happy with his new future. Of course the fear ran through his veins. He was a hundred and six year old super soldier who had just gotten rid of the words that had put him in the worst years of his life. But how he was here, in a beautiful country, with his beautiful girlfriend, in this beautiful hut that was provided to them thanks to King T’Challa and his family who had been nothing but wonderful to them the moment they entered Wakanda those two years ago.
“You’re pregnant.” He shuttered, eyes finally meeting yours, red and watery, “We’re having a baby—I’m gonna be a dad.” He didn’t want to believe it, it didn’t deserve something this good to happen to him, no matter how much it may have scared the shit of both of you. How on earth could he ever deserve to father a child?
You managed to smile through the overwhelming fear that crowded your emotions, “We’re gonna be parents, Buck.” You told him, wrapping your arms around his neck and buried your face into the crook and let yourself cry.
Bucky sighed, wrapping his arm around your middle, holding you as tightly to him as he possibly could. Both of you, crying into each other's arms.
What comes nexts? You’re an ex-avenger and he’s an ex-assassin, both on the run from the American government, taking refuge in Wakanda. How were the two of you supposed to grow a human and raise them for the rest of your lives when you didn’t even know what tomorrow held for you?
“Let’s lay down.” Bucky whispered to you. The both of you moving insync to get up from the couch and find your way to the bed. You always lay on Bucky’s right side so he can wrap his arm around you, your head laying on his chest and arm draped over his torso.
“What are we gonna do?” You asked him, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt before slipping underneath it, rubbing at his side.
“I don’t know, but whatever we do, we’ll do it together.” He reassured you.
You turned your head up to look at him, a small smile forming as you leaned up, pressing your lips against his, “I love you.”
“I love you.” He mumbled back, snuggling himself closer to you, “I love you so damn much.”
You held him tighter than you ever did before that night, not wanting him to ever slip away. He never would, not if he could help it.
♡♡♡♡
The cool breeze coming in through the cracked window pulled you from your slumber. As you reached out to pull yourself closer Bucky, you were met with nothing but the cold sheets. A groan left your lips as you realized that you must’ve slept later than you expected to, completely tuning out Bucky’s alarm, along with himself as he got ready for his day of responsibilities.
“Bucky?” You tried calling and when you got no immediate response, you knew that he was way out of earshot, even for his super soldier hearing. You let out another groan, finally deciding to pull yourself out of bed to start the day. Dragging yourself to the bathroom to get your morning routine done before you went to find Bucky, and you did.
He was exactly where you thought he was. You watched him as he went back and forth, tossing the full bags of hay from one pile to another. A smile gracing your face as you noticed the two small kids that watched him. They’d been hanging around since Bucky first came back from going under, but neither you or Bucky minded one bit.
“Hey.” You spoke softly, finally approaching him. He turned to you, his smile full of love as he took you into his hold,
“Good mornin’, beautiful.” He mumbled before pulling you in for a kiss, “You sleep okay? How you feelin’?”
You smiled at the sounds of giggles coming from behind bucky before the rustling of the grass, letting you know the kids had run off to give you two some privacy, “I slept fine and I feel—good. It still feels so surreal, but it’s starting to sink in.” Your hand absentmindedly went to your stomach, caressing it softly. Bucky’s eyes traveled down with your hand, his smile increasing.
“We’ll have to talk to Shuri. Set up some appointments and get you to the best doctors.”
The happy moment was cut short when Bucky’s ears perked up. He lifted his head in the direction of where multiple footsteps could be heard. You followed his line of sight, your heart slightly sinking at the sight of T’Challa, Okoye and two men carrying a case, marched towards the two of you. You and Bucky shared a look, both knowing and worried. But no words were spoken.
Not even when one of the men placed the case up on the haystacks, opening it up and stepping away, allowing you and Bucky to step forward and see what laid within. It was an arm. A black vibranium arm that was trimmed with gold and it told you everything you needed to know. You glanced up at T’Challa who was already giving you an apologetic look.
“Where’s the fight?”
“On its way.”
♡♡♡♡
Little to no words were spoken between you and Bucky after T’Challa had left the two of you alone. He said he’d return in an hour to retrieve Bucky to start the process of attaching the new arm to his limb, but was graceful enough to let you two have final moments alone before he was whisked off to battle.
Bucky watched you as you paced back and forth in the small hut. Picking up things and replacing them in their original spots before finding a different place for them. He recognized this. You were stressed. You tend to subconsciously redecorate when you are. He sighed to himself, getting up from his seat to come behind you, trapping you against the small counter so you wouldn’t be able to escape.
“Buck…”
“I know.” He muttered, grabbing the small succulent from your hand and sitting it on the counter. He took a deep breath, right hand finding your waist as he kissed the crown of your head, “I don’t want you to fight.”
“What?!” You tried to turn in his grasp, but he stopped you, holding you in place, “What are you talking about? I can’t sit back and do nothing!”
Bucky took another deep breath, “Baby, you are the only good thing in my life right now. The only thing that brings me a source of light, calm and peace.” He started, fingers softly gripping at your waist before sliding to your stomach, “And now—you have this life growing inside of you that we created, I’m allowing myself to be selfish this one time and ask you not to fight.” His tone was filled with desperation, vulnerability and pain, “I’m not asking you because I think you’re less than, or not capable—simply because I would choose you, over me, over anybody, every single time.”
You couldn’t stop the tear that ran down your face. You heard him, you understood him. He wanted to protect you and your unborn child together. You couldn’t blame him for wanting to be selfish and save the things most important to him, especially when you wanted the same. You didn’t want Bucky to fight, but you knew that he wouldn’t turn it down. It was a chance to fight for forgiveness, a chance to redeem a part of himself that he’d been struggling so hard to find.
You slowly turned in his hold as he let you, your eyes meeting his teary red ones. Your hands cupped his face, thumbs softly rubbing at his cheeks, “Okay, I won’t.” You agreed. Bucky sighed, letting his forehead fall against yours, “But you have to promise to come back to me—to come back to us.”
“Doll..” He sighed because he knew, just as well as you knew, that there were no promises when it came to missions. Especially ones like these. And he never made a promise he couldn’t keep.
“Promise me, Bucky!” You sobbed. You needed to hear it, just for your peace of mind, but he wouldn’t say it.
Pulling away from you slightly, Bucky used his right arm to pull his dog tags up and over his head before placing them over yours as best as he could before they fell into place around your neck, “I promise I’ll always be with you, one way or another.”
“I love you.” You cried, slotting your lips over his. He kissed you back with a burning passion, as if it would be his last from you.
“I love you.” He muttered, “I love you, I love you.”
Bucky held you that night. Tighter than ever before, afraid to let go. Because he knew that deep down in his heart, it would be one of the last times he got to, and it was.
The battle came, the team fought. They gave it every ounce of strength they could give it, but not even that could save them from the rath that came next. Nothing could stop the simple snap of two fingers and the powers of six little stones from erasing half of the human population, including Bucky. Leaving you and your unborn child in a world that you no longer know.
Right??? She played two roles and at one point, four! She deserved to be paid the most
But tbh, I don’t even think Stelena would’ve hit the same for me even if we did get them as endgame, I just can never get over Elena going with Damon 😩😩
You're so right, honestly I hold onto them bc nostalgia and whatnot but that scene where Rebekah compels Elena to tell the truth ugh it was devastating and honestly made me realize Stefan was too good for her (if you ignore the fact that he's a 100 year old man in love with a 17 year old 😂)
Yess definitely for nostalgia, like season 1-3 Stelena was just so pure. My heart still breaks for Stefan in that scene omg it was brutal! That or the scene when Elena picks Damon and Stefan’s listening so then he leaves with Lexi just for her to disappear again cause the veil went back up 🥲 He lost his bestie (again) and the love of his life
And not to totally justify that but at least Stefan was physically stuck at 17 😭 Damon was supposed to be like 23 or something.
Right??? She played two roles and at one point, four! She deserved to be paid the most
But tbh, I don’t even think Stelena would’ve hit the same for me even if we did get them as endgame, I just can never get over Elena going with Damon 😩😩
