no pain, no gain

I want my co-worker's puppy.

I believe you.

A cute cocker spaniel puppy.

#gif post #awww #ugh I love puppies

It's what we're good at, apparently.

A cocker spaniel? That's a good choice. Do you think Riley would be mad if I got you a puppy?

I want my co-worker's puppy.

Maybe? She seems to love spending more time with you than anything else.

She just likes fighting with me, that's what she likes.

So about the whole puppy thing. What kind of puppy?

I want my co-worker's puppy.

Well it’s your dog. Trained and everything. It’s different. I highly doubt we can, but I’ll try. You should sweeten her up or something.

Do you honestly think I'm capable of sweetening her up?

I want my co-worker's puppy.

Something tells me Riley’d kill me if I even thought about it, no matter how cute or lovable the puppy is.

I dunno, I mean she likes my puppy well enough.

wolfsfall

Some guy from Men's Health stalked me with his iPhone. Apparently I have problems ignoring the camera.

#photos

Sort of? If it wasn’t for Mel and me, God only knows what would have happened to you. I just want to have a lawn.

If it means I’ll understand what I need to do to fix what’s wrong with things with Mel, I don’t mind if Hell froze.

#gif post #that awkward moment you spend like #ten minutes looking for that one gif #and the exact clip you want you can't find so you settle for less #sob

Oh like you were a little saint all your life. A lawn? I mean just get a huge ass penthouse?

That bad, huh? You need some guy time. Muay Thai sometime this week, you pick the time, alright? I'll beat your worries outta ya.

It’s unlikely to happen. Like I could ever convince Mel to move out to the suburbs.

When Hell freezes over, Will. When Hell freezes over.

Good. You keep me sort of in line. Why are you feeling all suburb-y anyway? That just screams typical, boring family.

Which hopefully will never happen.

Caption: The fucker (right) that refused to do anything fun for Halloween. And me (left) looking cute as hell. Next year we're dressing up. Got it, sexy? -L (2005)

#memories #locked

Feels too big, sometimes. I was kidding, but now that you mention it, Muay Thai could be fun.

Dunno, man. I try to be as open as I can be. I don’t know if she even wants to be open or whats going on. Being married for 12 years still doesn’t help you understand women.

Think so? I'm not letting you move. It is fun. Lots of fun. Think you're up for it?

When will men ever understand women? They think in strange, mysterious ways. But that's fine as long as my dick gets wet.

I’m trying to find something that isn’t a bar, the gym, or my apartment. You think there’s any underground fight clubs?

She’s concerned? Sure knows how to show it. Nothing really lets me know she cares like a fight every other conversation. I’m fighting an uphill battle at this point and the grade is only getting steeper.

That's hard to do. But New York's a big place, I'm sure you'd find something. ...You're trying to make your life like Fight Club now? You could do some Muay Thai with me. I'll kick your ass seven ways to next week.

Maybe you both are just really shitty at showing how you feel? I don't know, man. I wish I could help you more, but I'm bad at long term marital advice.

That was the idea.

For fuck’s sake. If it was a problem, I’d get help for it. You know me better than that, Will.

Angry, angry. The gym?

Isn't stage one denial? Look, I'm not accusing. I'm just stating what she thinks, James. I think she's worried about you.

I’ve found pretty much every bar there is to find in New York. Now, I long for something else. What are some great places to go that not many people know about?

Here's an idea.

Not a bar. So Melody basically thinks you're an alcoholic. And I gotta say, you're not helping your cause much there brother.

rileystilinski

Hey I go to sleep way later than you do. You know. Hanging out. Maybe having dinner. Multiple orgasms included? Actually spending time together where we aren’t sleeping?

I've noticed. Sounds time consuming. I mean I want to, but are you sure you can? You've been pretty busy, and I know it's important to you.

rileystilinski

Lies. How do you feel about a date tonight?

It's not my fault your lazy ass isn't out of bed until eight or nine. Date?

rileystilinski

I could never be a personal trainer, besides the whole ‘being fit for a living’ thing, they also wake up way, way too early. Screw Kennedy. Tonight I’m coming home early and spending time with Will. Two people sharing a bed to sleep does not make a relationship.

Six isn't that early.