every time i see an aroace character they are either
emotionally constipated robot with the colour palette of wet cement
ancient immortal being who has transcended humanity entirely
clinically miserable in a way the narrative quietly links to their lack of romance
“above” love because they are cold, detached, hyperlogical, inhuman, traumatized, or secretly broken
literally coded grey. like physically grey. ash coloured. stone textured. dressed like a thundercloud.
what happened to whimsy. where is the aroace person who is loud and annoying and overinvested in niche hobbies. where is the aroace girl who collects stickers and screams during mario kart. where is the aroace guy who gossips constantly and wears tacky hawaiian shirts. where is the aroace knight who loves people so violently and devotedly that it reshapes the political structure of the narrative but simply does not want to kiss anybody about it.
i am once again asking writers to understand that aroace does not mean “devoid.” it does not mean empty. it does not mean tragic failed human approximation. it does not mean your most emotionally repressed character automatically counts as representation because he looked vaguely uncomfortable during a flirting scene once.
some of us are joyful. some of us are dramatic. some of us are deeply affectionate. some of us are extroverts. some of us flirt for fun. some of us hate flirting. some of us want queerplatonic partnerships so intense they would make victorian poets pass out in the street. some of us just want to live in a little house with three friends and six cats and a complicated board game collection (okay maybe that ones just me)
and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD let aroace characters have colour.
give me aroace characters in bright greens and obnoxious oranges and jewel tones. let them be warm. let them be expressive. let them laugh too loudly. let them love their friends openly. let them be desired without the story “fixing” them through romance. let them exist without a magical One Person unlocking their capacity for humanity through heterosexual eye contact.
also can we stop acting like romance is the sole narrative mechanism through which a character becomes emotionally fulfilled. there are other forms of intimacy. there are entire emotional ecosystems outside of dating. friendship can alter the course of a life. loyalty can become sacred. companionship can become world-defining. community can save somebody. devotion does not require romantic subtext to matter.
i want aroace characters whose stories are not about absence.
presence in friendships. presence in ambition. presence in loyalty and ritual and identity and grief and humour and obsession and joy. i want aroace characters who are alive in every conceivable direction instead of written like someone removed romance from a regular character and forgot to fill the empty space with humanity.
unless the character is grey for unrelated reasons. in which case i expect equal opportunity coloration. make the allosexuals grey too.