Welcome To My Brain

If my brain was a page on the internet it would be this. The good, the bad, & the beautiful. 26. Free Spirit. Maui Hawai’i. 

[spiralatria]

this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this

[important-cat-pics]

[miamlsunshine]

[wall-angel]

New Zealand, North Island.

[a-wayfaringstranger]

[lustingupon]

[kbluebirdart]

pre calamity angst once again

[wall-angel]

The best day of my life? I don't know about that.

They say your wedding day is supposed to be the day you dream of. But the worst thing someone can tell you is that you're going to feel so much better about it when you just get through the day. I'm not so sure of that, things don't seem so special and amazing, they seem like I'm trapped. I'm involved in something that is not what I was meant to be in.

He is great to me though, treats me right, is handsome, smart, and has a great career. But my heart is superficial and I'm starting to think I might be the type of women who doesn't have one person. I have multiple people that should be in my life to guide me through each part of it

The worst is.... this chapter is supposed to feel like a new beginning but my life kinda feels like it has just ended. I know that's not how it's supposed to feel, and I don't even know at this point if I want something different... but it's gotten to the point that I look at my husband and I only see the ugly and no beauty, only how I'm loosing my lust for him and he's becoming less attractive to me.

We have sex and I just notice how he's always fucking me the same way, there's never something new and it's never a different pace. I have him onto of me and I notice the less than chiseled chest, and the stomach bumping into me. This is always something I never minded but lately it seems worse. Is it me? Or is it just that marriage has ruined it for us.

I think I got caught up in the lust, and thought of it as love. I do love him trust me, but he does make it harder to love him the more I have spent time with him. Four years will make any women go insane. He talks about how there's always someone out to get us, conspiracies that have even me scratching my head to understand how we got to this point. and even the amount of time spent learning them is appalling.

I have lately been surrounding myself with all my ladies, or by myself, and I'm getting myself back into working out again. The worst part about being married is I think people get comfortable and stop growing the way most do. I refuse to be that type of person, I want to still be my best version of me. So I will.

If anyone has felt the same way as me, I'd love to connect. PS: my marriage has only been for a few months.

[classic-elegant-beautiful]

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[wall-angel]

The Next Drama House

Well I think it's safe to say that after living with the new roomies we live different lifestyles. They like to work, go to the gym, and then hide away in their room until the next day. They come out and cook but they don't want to hangout in the living room with us ever or have family dinners together like I've done in previous roommate situations... I'm not fond of how everything we do seems to be a question of how we live our lives. We can't sublet our room when we leave for out of town. Which is fine they have a say since they would be the ones left to deal with the friends coming out. But also they also communicated that they wouldn't want it to be sublet out. Now I think the way they acted coming into the house last night angry without reason... well I guess the reason was we had friends over from out of town and we had the neighbor over. But mind you the lack of communication is ridiculous and it shouldn't have gotten to this point in the first place if they talked to us about it. Some people just don't understand the importance of communication.

[wall-angel]

Let the drama commence.

It's been two months since we moved out of our little home stead and into another place with another couple. Times are tough to find any sort of living arrangements and we have a dog which makes it even harder. The stress of having to move has been over and I'm glad, I knew I didn't want to unpack completely because of the short rent period we had signed onto. The only problem is now that we have such a short rental period we already have two out of eight months down.... only six more months to go and we will have to find another place to live or possibly this new couple will move out and we can take over the lease. I am telling myself not to unpack all of the decor and only the things that are really easy to repack. We have also started to get rid of things that are no longer necessary to store and downsizing our stored items has felt amazing!

[wall-angel]

Mother is always testing.

It's a test that no other place I've lived gives you. Although I haven't lived very many other places, I do however feel like this has been the most challenging year for me. People are heartbroken, my town is burned up in a fire, my jobs are just at a standstill until further notice, and my heart is heavy. We are being displaced from our home because of other displaced people. This is the real kicker.... I have second thoughts of staying here. I love it here so much but I also know that the world is big, and I don't think I should have to struggle to live somewhere that's feeling so painful to stay in. I know someday things will be better for us, but I'm just thinking how much longer could it be until I feel whole again. I am truing to stay strong for me, for us, for this community.

[wall-angel]

All of Guatemalas views are good views. Lake Atitlan is by far one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. The people, the culture, the views... a collection of it all is what makes it special.

I can't wait to go back there someday, hopefully with more knowledge of Spanish next time.

[wall-angel]

[le-cime]

[cbssurfer]

Surf life