Lux had woken up from some unremembered, uneasy dream to an empty bed, and he hadnât initially noticed. Heâd laid there for a moment, something important on his tip of his tongue. That, was normal. What wasnât was when he finally moved, he was numbly surprised that he was able to do so. Heâd been sure for a moment his limbs wouldnât move and heâd- something about the stars fading- didnât they normally fall in his dreams? It hadnât been his normal dreamscape- heâd been watching something-. He had blinked, gray and green sparks dancing behind his eyes, and the dream had drained away like water in a desert. That was about when he noticed Wallace wasnât there.
There was an immediate feeling of unease that Lux dismissed. Wallace might have gotten an early start, might have gotten up to pee, might have done a number of different things. He knew Wallace hadnât been sleeping well lately. The panic didnât set in until the first class of the day had ended and Wallace hadnât shown up. Heâd skipped his second class, and his third, and all his classes after that, looking for Wallace in all the places in the castle he thought Wallace might be in. Heâd asked almost everyone in Hufflepuff, along with some of Wallaceâs other friends, if theyâd seen him, if they would keep an eye out and tell Wallace to come find him if they did.
(Heâd pulled out his cards at some point, and gotten the same card over and over again- The Lovers. It was Wallaceâs card for a number of reasons, but it also indicated choices. When he tried to pull another card on the first he got nothing but gibberish and finally, straight up sass- his cards basically telling him that he didnât need to know the answers to his questions if he was too stupid to put together what they were saying.)
By supper, Lux had gone past panic into a numb sort of terrified anticipation. He felt strangely blank, like his emotions were a wave pulling back in preparation to come back a typhoon and drown him. In his mind heâd convinced himself that they were going to find Wallace somewhere the same way they found Rose, that the dream he couldnât remember was another warning he hadnât tried hard enough to hold on to. Or that Wallace being withdrawn was a symptom of something that heâd been ignoring and neglecting to address, that maybe whatever had been bothering him had been so bad that he would-. He couldnât let himself think on that, but the thought of Wallace hurting himself now loomed side by side with the original thought that someone else had.
He knew that part of the reason for his anxiety was due to his sobriety- he was always twitchy when he was clean- but something in him balked at the thought of being anything but. Numbing yourself isnât going to help, and all the drugs in the world wonât help you if something has happened to him something inside him snarled. He had left his stash in his dorm when he returned to confirm that Wallace still hadnât come back, so he wasnât tempted.
Heâd gone to check the library for the upteenth time out of sheer desperation, and when he still hadnât found Wallace, Lux simply slumped to the floor against the shelves and rested his head on his knees, noticing only belatedly where it was that instinct and old habits had taken him while his mind was busy imagining Wallace bleeding out on a dungeon floor.
Luxâs head shot up at the sound of Wallaceâs voice, and he was on his feet and rushing over to him before he made a conscience decision to move, pulling his boyfriend into a tight hug as he inhaled sharply. âWhere were you?â He demanded, and his voice sounded reedy even to his own ears. Heâd been telling himself for months that it wasnât his place, it wasnât his business, but that was out the window now. âYou canât- Iâm sorry but you just disappeared without saying anything, for hours, and no one knew where you were, and I thought you- you canât just disappear Wallace.â
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