where have you been // wallux
It took Wallace a few seconds before he reacted to Lux barrelling out of the darkness at him. A strange sort of resentment filled his thoughts, and he didnât know where it came from, but he was pretty sure it was directed at himself, not Lux. He tightened the hug he returned, probably too late for it to seem entirely usual, but nothing about today could likely be passed off as usual.
He hadnât come up with an excuse, even with all the time heâd had while he was in the potionâs grips. He hadnât realized heâd need one, hadnât planned on staying passed out in the woods when he finally got free, and once he had laid down, his mind had become a blissful blank. There had been so much heâd considered, heâd pretty much thought through all sorts of lies, for all sorts of situationsâbut he hadnât prepared for this. Sloppy, careless. Going to get caught, obviously. Pulling away slightly, and meeting Luxâs eyes, he tried to think of something thatâd explain his absence for a whole day, but by the time he realized he had shit-all, it had already been too long. Lux would know an obvious lie. So instead, he said plainly, âThereâs something I shouldâve told you, a long while ago.âÂ
If one truth was impossible to tell, he could always tell another. And the fear thatâd held him back from telling this one had been buried, countless hours ago. âI know Iâve been acting strange, youâre bound to have seen it, even Iâm not oblivious enough to think you havenâtâŠâ The words were clunky, wooden, casualâbut he supposed that could actually help him sound more convincing, given everything he intended to say. âSomething happened to me. I was⊠attacked. Shortly after we came back from break. I didnât want to tell you.â He paused, for a good two beats, before following up with an apology. âIâm sorry.â
As soon as Wallace began to speak, something began slotting itself together in Luxâs head. Everyone had instances of dĂ©jĂ vu, but for Lux the feeling meant something. Not the right place. Something inside him chimed dully, at the same time something tightened in his chest and his entire being seemed to be thrumming with a panicked mantra of No. No no no no nonononono.
Immediately that was all wiped away when Wallace said. His entire mind narrowed to that- I was attacked, and he couldnât think of a thing to say in response. Things started lining up, making sense in his head. Small things that had been off, that he had contributed to the shock of Rose dying, and the change it had affected in Hogwarts. Things that had worried him of course, but that he hadnât wanted to focus on. Lux was in the habit of dismissing his own problems when there wasnât a quick fix, anything that could be ignorable, was. When had he started doing that to his friends? Or Wallace?
âWhat? You got- attacked and youâre apologizing to me?â Lux said, and he was shocked to feel a faint sting behind his eyes. He inhaled sharply and blinked them back. He wanted to shout, he wanted to say he was sorry for being the worldâs worst boyfriend and not doing more to help, he wanted to drag Wallace back up to their room and start packing both of their shit- get them to that old Klausen property he thought about sometimes, get them somewhere safe. But he didnât get to act like this was something that was happening to him- he wasnât the victim here.
âAre you okay?â Instead he just tightened his grasp on Wallace, wondering if it would be too much if he hugged him again. What did he do now? How did he help? Would Wallace want to talk about it? Did he ask? âWhy didnât you tell me?â
