Daddy's Home

Former head of the CIA turned full-time babysitter.

[wallacewestwyld]

Welcome to Westwyld's World

I'm Wallace.

Formerly known as the head of the CIA, now I'm (mostly) retired and spend my days babysitting my beloved Darlene. (And her brother too, I suppose.)

Kidding. I'm fond of Derek as well. And the little mini Derek, Clapton. He's a good kid.

Anyways... I see everyone else has an "intro post", so here's mine.

Age: 65

Likes: peace, quiet, reading, drinking (on occasion), music, well-fitted suits.

Dislikes: disturbances, loud music, drugs, clashing patterns, bleached hair (except on Darlene <3), and excessive profanity.

Feel free to ask me anything, but keep it simple. This old man isn't quite up to date with the latest slang and such.

Ladies over 40, my DMs are open. ;)

Account run by: 🌹 (not a minor)

[wallacewestwyld]

go back to the damn retirement home gramps😭🙏

Aw, come now. I'm not all dust and bones just yet.

I'd like to think I have another good decade in me, at least.

Besides, who would look out for the young Danforth? Someone has to babysit.

- Wallace

[wallacewestwyld]

what percent of women 45 and older are single

[wallacewestwyld]

where are the single women over 45

[wallacewestwyld]

Google, do you hear me?

[cherrythesk8ergirl]

wallace babes this isn’t google

[wallacewestwyld]

Oh. My apologies, I may be on some... medication. Yes.

- Wallace

[wallacewestwyld]

what percent of women 45 and older are single

[wallacewestwyld]

where are the single women over 45

[wallacewestwyld]

Google, do you hear me?

[wallacewestwyld]

what percent of women 45 and older are single

[wallacewestwyld]

where are the single women over 45

[wallacewestwyld]

what percent of women 45 and older are single

[wallacewestwyld]

Derek Danforth (Age 3)

Seems I have accidentally leaked his baby photos. Oh no...

- Wallace

[derekfckingdanforth]

ex-fucking-cuse me?! delete that damn shit right about now.

[wallacewestwyld]

I don't know how.

- Wallace

[wallacewestwyld]

Derek Danforth (Age 3)

Seems I have accidentally leaked his baby photos. Oh no...

- Wallace

[wallacewestwyld]

Hello Wallace! How are you? its been a while! We need to play chess again soon. :)

Ah! Michelle! So nice to hear from you again.

I'd love to play a game or two. I may need a new chess board, however, as someone swallowed a few pieces...

[cherrythesk8ergirl]

the goat took me out for slushies!!!

i got coca cola & blue rasp!

ty @wallacewestwyld

[wallacewestwyld]

You're quite welcome, sweetheart.

Though my drink of choice is usually tea (or amaretto if Derek is giving me a headache), I'll admit the slushy wasn't bad.

I believe mine was "cherry" flavor. (It tasted quite artificial.

- Wallace Westwyld

[wallacewestwyld]

come out 4 slushies w me :3

I'd love to, dear. I'll pay.

[cherrythesk8ergirl]

yayyyy

and dw about that i invited u, my treat

i have change i found on the street saved up >:3

[wallacewestwyld]

Save your pocket change, doll. Or I'll send you home with a Ben Franklin.

[wallacewestwyld]

come out 4 slushies w me :3

I'd love to, dear. I'll pay.

[wallacewestwyld]

Greetings.

I've been terribly bored of late and strangely find myself missing the abnormalities of tumblr. How is everyone?

Have you all grown fonder of me in my absence? Or simply forgotten about me?

Here's a little reminder of what you're all missing out on. Maybe sit down before looking so you don't faint.

[solarissun]

Oh no grandpas back

[wallacewestwyld]

Hmph. Not exactly the warm welcome I was expecting.

Looks like you young folk on here need someone to teach you manners.

[wallacewestwyld]

Greetings.

I've been terribly bored of late and strangely find myself missing the abnormalities of tumblr. How is everyone?

Have you all grown fonder of me in my absence? Or simply forgotten about me?

Here's a little reminder of what you're all missing out on. Maybe sit down before looking so you don't faint.

[dianefutturman-deactivated20250]

So... things with you and Gabe... are they serious?

Yeah..? Why do you ask?

[wallacewestwyld]

Hm... allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Wallace. I'd like to think of myself as a gentleman who enjoys the finer things in life, such as yourself. I think you're absolutely stunning, If things don't work out with this "Gabe" fellow, please give me a call.

(Or if you'd simply prefer someone with more money, influence, and taste.)

[claptondavis]

Haii h311000,i cam3 h3r3 2 t311 u,that i 1uv th3 vib3 0f 2000z tht u giv3 0ff,and tht iznt th3 0n1y thng i 1uv abt ur acc0unt ;333 (sc3n3 rizz)

whattt thx !! probs helps that i was raised in the 2000’s this is just how we text in 2011 XD !!

oh is that right ?? dms r always open :3c

[wallacewestwyld]

Am I having a stroke?

[wallacewestwyld]

See Derek? The ladies love me.

I think she's really digging me. Asking so many questions.

"How old are you? What do you do for a living? How much money do you make a year? What street did you grow up on? What was the name of your first pet? What was your mother's maiden name? What are the last four digits of your social security number?"

(Just to name a few.)

[prettiesteverlana]

That girl is a WHORE!!!! SHE TEXTED ME TOO, YOU CANT HAVE HER

[wallacewestwyld]

erm what the sigma

[wallacewestwyld]

Apologies, miss. That was Clapton on my computer.